Chapter Five #2
When I don’t say anything, Todd grabs my hand and pulls me to sit up. “Sadie,” he says.
“Todd.”
“Are you going to deny that or do we get more context to your silence?” he asks.
“Uh…” I say with a shaky voice.
“You don’t have to,” Dean says.
“Oh, fuck,” Billy says. “I was right, wasn’t I? I only guessed because my youth pastor diddled me too.”
“Bro…” Mason laughs. “Don’t say diddle. I can’t keep a straight face.”
“Anyway,” Todd says.
“It uh… He was in the process of becoming a youth pastor, but…” I stop talking.
“If anyone wants to know why I fucking hate her parents, this is why,” Mason says.
“Your parents knew?” Todd asks.
“Yeah. His name is Paul Gibson,” I say. “We don’t have to talk about this. We can play.”
“If you want to share your story, we want to listen,” Todd says, and everyone nods and sits down in the grass with us.
“Okay,” I sigh. “So, my parents sent me to this camp. It’s called Camp Redemption. Parents would send their kids there if they thought they were unruly or on the wrong path. My parents sent me there before middle school when I was eleven.”
“Didn’t they have a claim of a staff member getting a kid pregnant?” Del asks.
“Yeah. A few years ago, I think. The old pastor was moved, and Paul was put in charge last year. I think they got shut down,” I say.
“I was there for six weeks, and I was literally the only girl there that summer. I spent all day, every day, reading the bible or talking to someone about sin or whatever, but… Paul was seventeen at the time. He was getting college credit by being there. One of his jobs was to get kids to bed, but because I was the only girl…”
“It was just the two of you,” Billy says with a frown.
“Mhmm. I had a cabin to myself, and it was next to his. He would take the boys to their cabins, then me. He spent every single night in my cabin and… He basically told me that I was repaying my sin, and it was our secret because not everyone got to repay their sin as well as I could.”
“Okay. That’s fucking sick,” Billy says.
“It gets worse,” Lance frowns.
“Yeah… So, he basically did everything that wasn’t traditional vaginal penetration…
Including oral… He’d do things to me and tell me he was preparing me for when I was older and could properly repent for my sins.
I told the pastor one day, and his answer was to get my jeans and throw away my shorts so I wouldn’t tempt him again. ”
“What the fuck,” Todd says.
“Mind you… I didn’t know what sex was. I didn’t even know the difference in anatomy until then.
My parents told me absolutely nothing,” I say.
“When I got home, I complained to Mom about feeling itchy. Eventually, I complained enough that she took me to a gynecologist. They asked me if I was sexually active, my mom flipped her shit, and the nurse said that the only reason she was asking was because I had a yeast infection and a UTI and wanted to rule out possible ways I got it. She told them I was experimenting, but she’s talked to me about it.
I had no fucking clue what she meant. They gave me medicine, and my mom told me to not tell Dad.
He ended up finding out anyway. That’s when I told them everything Paul had done,” I sigh before continuing.
“They told me that I was dressing like a whore, and I can’t be surprised at what happened because that’s what I get for tempting a man,” I say.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ben snaps.
“Just wait,” Dean says.
“I told them that he told me I was repenting for my sins, and Mom told me that I should try harder next time, and maybe I won’t require medicine. Dad followed that up by telling me to remember what happens when I tempt a man.”
“How did they find out?” Todd asks.
“I saw them the next day. They didn’t know I was back, but I had left the house early the next morning to sit in the treehouse at Dean’s house.
They went up there and found me crying,” I say.
“I told them everything. Dean went and got his sister and had me tell her. She went and got their dad, and this time she told him what I said. I told everyone what Mom and Dad said about me trying harder next time, and Arthur went up to the church right then. I don’t know what was said, but when I’d go to church, Paul wouldn’t even look at me anymore. ”
“Yeah… Dad basically told him if he ever found out that anyone touched you again, he’d happily go to jail with a smile on his face and several more names on his list of murders,” Dean says.
“Yep. That’s the summer you guys got really protective over me.
From middle school on, I knew I had nothing to worry about with guys because of you guys,” I say.
“I got the tattoo because it reminds me that you three set me free from that life. I didn’t get sucked into that bullshit.
I know not all Southern Baptists are bad.
Most of them, in fact, are fine. My parents, though…
They knew someone molested me and blamed me.
You guys, even at eleven, helped me understand it wasn’t my fault.
I went to you all for everything because my parents didn’t tell me anything. ”
“My sister asked me once if it would help if she talked to you,” Dean says.
“Probably not. I likely would have shut down,” I say.
“That’s what I told her. She and Dad said that if I wanted to help, then they would tell me what I needed to know to be able to get you accurate information. Mason and Lance got a lesson also, and any time you had questions, we were able to answer them,” he explains.
“That’s so fucking adorable,” Jake says. “I swear to God, you four were always meant to be together.”
“Oh, my parents will fucking love that,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Your parents can go fuck themselves,” Todd says. “You’re a grown-ass woman. You don’t need approval from them to do anything.”
“Wait until they find out you don’t want kids,” Mason chuckles.
“Didn’t y’all get snipped?” Todd asks.
“Mhmm,” Mason says, wiggling his eyebrows. “All the breed, none of the seed.”
“Gross,” I laugh.
“Instead of baby gravy, is it just gravy now?” Jake asks.
“Okay. That just ruined my plans of having country-fried steak,” I say.
“What? You don’t like a little gravy with your meat, Sadie?” Leo asks with a grin.