Chapter Nineteen #3
“She said you consented to not having a safe word, so you knew the possibilities of you becoming triggered, and me not stopping,” he explains.
“She’s a smart woman,” I say. “And I knew what it meant to consent to that. Todd… I trust you so much.”
“I apologize if this is… annoying,” he says.
“It’s not,” I say, rolling to face him. “It’s reassuring that you care about me and my comfort. Well, besides the part where you bruised my internal organs.”
“I won’t apologize for that,” Todd laughs.
“Good. Because I enjoyed it. The entire situation was amazing,” I say. “I’m a bit surprised I was out for an hour, though.”
“Yeah, I was a bit concerned for a second,” he laughs. “But you weren’t really sleeping at first. You were just completely out of it.”
“Well, that’s creepy,” I laugh.
“Only creepy if you keep fucking someone who is blacked out,” he shrugs.
“I just remember you moaning my name and then I woke up with Lance,” I say. “By the way, that’s hot.”
“Which part?”
“I mean, all of it. More specifically, you moaning my name in my ear,” I say, and he smiles.
“Can I be honest with you for a second?” he asks.
“You can always be honest,” I say. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong, I just think it’s important I say this if I’m going to be doing things like that. I don’t want you to feel tricked.”
“Okay,” I say. “What’s up?”
“Sadie… I care about you far more than I should. I didn’t fully understand until I thought I hurt you, but I think… I don’t know what exactly I think, but I know I care about you far more than just as a friend.”
“Do the others know this?” I ask.
“Yeah. Everyone knows,” he says. “Stacy apparently figured it out on her own. Mason, Dean, and Lance said they could tell and have been able to for months with both of us.”
I stare at him in silence because I don’t know how to respond to that. When I’m quiet for a while, he smiles. “I don’t really know what to say to that,” I tell him.
“Just understand that I will never be the man to try to get between you and the guys. No matter your response, I’ll always be here for you,” he says.
“Let me think, and I’ll be more equipped to process that,” I say. “I think my brain is fried.”
“Eight too much?” Todd asks as he pulls me up from the bed to stand. I groan, and he laughs.
“You’re too much, sir. You look so... innocent,” I say.
“He is not innocent,” Stacy laughs from the doorway. “He’s a monster. A sweet one, but still a monster.”
“Let’s go eat,” Todd says with a smile, shaking his head.
We go to the dining room to join the others, and I sit between Dean and Mason. I lay my head on Dean’s shoulder, closing my eyes.
“Tired?” Dean asks, wrapping his arm around my body and kissing my head.
“Mhmm,” I sigh.
“After dinner, we can go shower and lie down. Sound good?” he says.
“Sounds wonderful,” I say. I look up and kiss him as Lance sets food in front of me.
“So,” Stacy says happily.
“What?” Jake asks her with a smirk.
“So, where do we go from here? Do we pretend none of that happened? Do we let it happen again? Is it a free-for-all?”
“After what Sadie did... I say a free-for-all,” Jake says, winking at me. “Now I know why Mason, Lance, and Dean are so happy.”
“What did Sadie do?” Stacy asks, and I laugh.
“She tried to suck my soul out,” he says, and everyone bursts into laughter.
“You are dramatic,” I laugh.
“Woman! You grabbed my hips and wouldn’t let me pull away from you,” Jake says.
“So, you got dominated by Sadie?” Stacy asks with a grin.
“Yes,” Mason laughs.
“No,” he says.
“I mean... I did take over at one point,” I say with a shrug as I eat.
“Girl, you better watch it,” he says with a warning in his tone.
“What are you going to do about it, Officer Ballard?” I ask with a sassy tone. He narrows his eyes at me, and I giggle. “That’s what I thought. Be a good boy and eat your food, Jake.”
“Oh shit,” Todd laughs when Jake stands up and walks around to get to me.
“No one will help you if he bends you over this table,” Dean warns.
“I had to take control last time. I’m not concerned,” I say. I yelp when he grabs me by the hair and jerks me up from my chair. Dean and Mason move everything out from in front of me. Instead of bending me over, he turns me to face him, still with a tight grip on my hair.
“Sadie,” he growls.
“Yes,” I say sweetly.
“Why are you being a brat?” he asks.
“Why are you defensive about being told you were dominated, like being submissive is a bad thing? I ask.
“Oooo. Good point,” Stacy says.
“Are submissives less than, Jake?” I ask with a sweet smile.
“Sadie, that’s not what I said,” he frowns.
“Then why is it a big deal if I was more dominant in that moment?” I ask.
“It’s not. It’s all your sass that I have an issue with,” he says. “Why are you being so bratty with me?”
“I don’t know,” I say.
“That’s a lie, and you know it,” he says. “What’s going on?”
“I... am just afraid all of that will fuck up our friend group and I’ll be the one responsible for things falling apart,” I admit quietly. Jake sighs and releases my hair. “I already feel like I’ve fucked up enough with Leo.”
“Sadie... You haven’t fucked anything up. Nothing was or will be fucked up. Leo is a fucking psychopath that tricked all of us,” he says.
“How do you know that I didn’t fuck anything up?” I ask.
“Because I saw the look on your boyfriends’ face while they watched us fuck you,” he says with a smile. “Everyone in this room enjoyed every bit of what happened.”
“I did not enjoy her blacking out for an hour,” Todd laughs.
“It makes for a good nap,” I say, and Stacy giggles.
“So?” I ask.
“So, they have our blessing to do with you as they please, as long as there is open communication,” Dean says.
“They know that you are dating us, but that doesn’t mean they can’t spend time alone with you. If anything physical happens, we want to know,” Mason says.
“Then I should be careful about being a brat, or I’m going to get passed around like an offering plate on Easter Sunday,” I say, and the group laughs.
When there is a knock at the door, we all stop. “It’s probably the lady that lives down the road that we talked to the year before last. I’ll go talk to her.”
“Maggie, right?” Lance asks.
“Yeah. You guys eat. I’ll be back,” I say before leaving the dining room.
I pull open the door, and I immediately let out a blood-curdling scream when I see nothing but a bloody carcass of a lamb sitting slaughtered on the front porch.
I try to back away from it as quickly as I can, but I trip and fall back on my ass.
I pull myself back against the couch and draw my knees to my chest right as everyone comes running into the living room.
Mason pulls me into his lap on the couch, and my whole body is shaking. A blanketing feeling of dread weighs on me, and my mind and body feel separate from one another. Mason holds me tight and rocks me. I know others are talking, some to me, but I can’t focus.
“Baby, I need you to talk to me,” Dean says, holding my face. I blink a few times, pulling myself out of my daze.
“It was him,” I say tearfully.
“Yeah,” he says. “He left a note.”
“What does it say?” I ask, sniffling. He hands me the note, and I sigh heavily.
A sacrifice for your sins.
See you soon.
-Leo