Unholy

1. 2

Gabriel was my best friend growing up and he used to say that all the time. He never had a plan. When he would have his newest reckless idea, I would always ask how he plans to execute it, and he would always respond with the same phrase: We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I swear I hear the demon whisper Bingo, but I am still too lost in the memory. The time Gabriel wanted to jump off the White Dove Bridge. We were 16 and inseparable. I had asked him what was going to happen if the water wasn’t deep enough, and Gabriel just smiled and said “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, dove.”

We didn’t cross the bridge. Went only walked to the middle. We sat with our feet dangling off the bridge on a warm summer day. I was terrified. I didn’t want Gabriel to jump. I thought he was going to kill himself, so I distracted Gabriel by talking to him.

“What’s your biggest secret? One that you haven’t told anyone,” I asked, looking out over the water.

“If I told you then it wouldn’t be a secret, now would it, dove?” I heard the smile in Gabriel’s tone before I even turned to see it. Gabriel’s blond hair was rustled by the wind, his green eyes sparkling in the bright sun. That’s one thing I always loved about him. He could smile at a thunderstorm .

“Come on. I’ll tell you mine,” I offered, returning Gabriel’s infectious grin.

“Okay. You go first.” Gabriel bit his lip and looked away, jiggling his right foot. I could feel Gabriel’s leg move against my own.

“I’ve never kissed a girl,” I blurted out before I could think better of it. My cheeks reddened with embarrassment.

“Really? Never wanted to or…?” Something about Gabriel’s tone was hopeful.

I faltered. I had never really thought about it. I figured it just hadn’t happened for me yet. “I guess I never really found someone worth kissing.” I shrugged, picking up a nearby pebble and chucking it into the river for lack of something better to do.

“Oh.” When I turned back around, Gabriel had an odd expression etched into his delicate features. I couldn’t place it, but it’s one I’d never seen before.

“What’s yours?” I asked on a breath, leaning closer to Gabriel.

Gabriel didn’t answer right away, he just stared at me. His pink tongue came out to wet his lips. He leaned closer to me, bracing his hand on the bridge. I drifted closer on instinct. Gabriel was clearly uncomfortable voicing his secret - maybe he plans to whisper it to me.

Gabriel’s free hand came up to cup my jaw. I didn’t process it, though. I was too focused on learning Gabriel’s secret. Next, Gabriel’s damp lips pressed against mine, and they felt heavenly. Divine. Perfect in every way. I closed my eyes, allowing Gabriel to deepen the kiss.

Wrong.

My eyes popped open.

Sin.

I pushed Gabriel away from me.

Unholy.

I stood up quickly, breathing heavily.

Dirty.

Gabriel looked shocked at first, but then his expression morphed into hurt.

Depraved.

Gabriel stood up, too, facing me.

Abomination.

“Lev… I-”

“Don’t. Don’t ever speak to me again!” My voice shook. I wiped the kiss off my lips, but they felt as though they weren’t coming clean. Like they’ll never be clean again .

“Please.” Tears welled up in Gabriel’s green eyes. He reached for me, but I pulled back. I shook my head one final time, peeling my eyes away from my best friend. I turned and ran home as fast as I could.

I had gone straight to my father and told him that the Lord had called me to become a priest. I was enrolled into a different Catholic school the following school year. I never saw Gabriel again. I had almost forgotten about his existence.

I managed to bury that memory so deep into my mind that it hasn't seen the light of day since. I scrubbed myself clean of it during seminary school. Prayed that God would take the memory of that kiss from me. Would cleanse my entire essence of the sin I had committed. did, until now.

“What’s the matter, dove?” The demon’s gravelly voice snaps me from my memories completely, the room suddenly coming into focus. Dove.

“What did you do?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at the demon.

“You should be asking yourself that.” He smiles, and I have no idea what he’s talking about. I didn’t do anything. I don't know why the memory felt so real, as though I was reliving it. It was so vivid, I could still feel Gabriel’s lips on mine, the way my cock had stirred in my pants, a jolt of pleasure rushing through me before I could identify the impure thoughts.

“You had something to do with this?” I accuse, pointing threateningly at the demon.

“It was your memory. I simply just… helped it along.”

“You planted it in my head. Made it worse… somehow.” I feel like I’m grasping at straws. Looking for some sort of plausible explanation as to why it wasn’t as bad as I remembered.

“Oh, come off it. You kissed your best friend when you were 16. You were into it, then ran away from who you are like a coward. I didn’t make that up, but I couldn’t have asked for a better story.”

“Shut up.” I spit, white hot anger pumping through my bloodstream.

“Poor Gabriel. The look on his face when you rejected him.”

“I said shut up.” My voice is louder, cutting through the room like a sword slices through ice.

“He really loved you, you know. He thought you may actually understand him… ”

“Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!” I scream, eyes filling up with tears. Something in me snaps then. I reach for Killian, untying his feet first, then moving to his wrist. Killian smiles at me as if he’s finally gotten his way. My fingers brush against Killian’s soft skin, sending a jolt of something through my system. I ignore it, allowing my rage to fill me.

Once the ropes are detached from the post, I gather the ropes attached to both of his hands in mine. I then pull Killian off the bed, his body thumping loudly on the hardwood floor below him. I ignore whatever Killian is saying. I can’t keep listening to this demon. It’s messing with my head. I’ve got to perform the exorcism. It’s now or never.

I drag Killian across the floor to an exposed beam in the ceiling. I throw the ends of the rope around it, then I brace my feet on the floor and pull. Once the demon is hanging with his tiptoes barely touching the ground, I loop the rope around a support beam, securing it tightly.

“Oh, now it’s getting kinky.” Killian smiles, as if he doesn't have a care in the world. His long body is stretched tight, thin shorts clinging to his hips. He’s hard again, that much is clear, and that just angers me more. The dim light in the room creates shadows and contours along Killian’s body like infinite space riddled with black holes, no God to be found.

“You just don’t know when to quit. You’re not winning this, and now I’m gonna make it painful for you.” I turn to grab the bottle of holy water, along with my Bible. I flip to the page I was on and begin to read out loud. Killian laughs, almost manically.

“You’re pissed off because a boy got your panties all wet in high school and now, you’re taking it out on me? That’s not very forgiving of you. Didn’t the big J teach you anything?” Killian asks, white teeth glimmering the light. His incisors look sharp, as if they could pierce skin. A shiver goes down my spine.

“Don’t call Jesus that. And you are beyond forgiveness.” I splash some holy water on Killian’s erection, smiling when the skin underneath the shorts hisses and steams in reaction to the holy water. Killian doesn't react, though. Doesn't even wince, and that just makes the rage in my system double .

“I am everything you wish you could be.” Killian smiles again, that eerie smile that makes my hair stand on end.

“I never wished to be an evil abomination.” I throw more holy water on him, and it hisses when it hits his skin, like cold water being splashed on a hot burner. A small hole has formed in his shorts, the fabric eaten away by the heat.

“Isn’t that what your father called it?”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, my movements pausing with my confusion.

“Isn’t that what your father called it? Kissing a boy on the bridge. Getting hard from the thought. Didn’t your father call that an ‘evil abomination’?” Killian’s voice is soft, almost innocent as he looks at me curiously.

“My father was a great, godly man!” More water lands on Killian’s skin, leaving red marks in its wake. Usually, the holy water makes demons blister, but Killian is clearly not like most demons. I am too angry to even consider that right now. I need him to stop fucking talking about the kiss.

“Maybe we aren’t so different after all. Since you get off on kissing boys, we are the same in your father’s eyes.” Killian’s smile is sweet, but his eyes remain cold, reminding me of everything he is.

“We are nothing alike!” I bellow, dropping my Bible in anger. It lands on the wooden floor with a thump. I don't even glance down. I just stare at Killian wishing I could shoot daggers with my eyes.

“Filthy abomination. Isn’t that what the Bible calls you? Isn't that what you just called me?” I know that Killian is just trying to bait me. Make me lose my temper. And it’s working. I am so angry right now, I could spit fire so hot, it would rival the flames of Hell.

“I have repented for my sins. God has forgiven me.”

I used to be sure of that statement. Used to have no doubt whatsoever that God had forgiven me for the misgivings of my younger years, but doubt has started to creep in. I walk over to where I had laid the golden cross down, flipping it over in my hand, enjoying the weight of it.

“He certainly didn’t take away your urges,” Killian says, and I turn toward him. As I get closer, I throw more holy water on Killian, most landing on his shorts. The smell of burnt fabric hits my nostrils. I glance down. Half of the shorts have melted away. A few limp pieces are left hanging off Killian’s hard cock, covering it just enough. All I can see is pale white skin, and it’s enticing .

“Yes, He did. He’s all powerful,” I respond, almost distractedly. The only piece of fabric left on Killian’s cock has fallen off, revealing the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. It’s perfect. Long and thick with blue veins and a pink head. I lick my lips.

“Then why are you looking at my dick like it’s the Last Supper?” Killian’s voice is smooth and dark, like touching the midnight sky. I rip my gaze away, anger firing through me. This demon is putting me under some kind of spell. I have to… I have to break it somehow. I force my feet to move. I don't know where I’m going, but I need to get Killian’s impossibly hard cock out of my eyeline or I’ll never stop staring.

I walk around Killian’s body. His back muscles are flexed, arms suspended. My eyes travel further south, his firm ass looks as though it was carved from marble, but… what’s that? I can’t stop myself from bending for a closer look. Poking out of Killian’s asshole is something sleek, black and shiny. Upon closer inspection, it looks like two silicone pieces curved on either side, almost like a… handle?

“You like my plug?” My back snaps straight at the sound of Killian’s voice. I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I open my mouth three times but can’t seem to find enough air to form a response. I want to ask what it is. I want to touch it, but all I can do is gape and pretend I’m not looking.

“Isn’t it pretty? I put it in there myself when I overheard my mom calling you.” That throws me for a loop. Why would he put that there himself? What is the purpose? And why did the demon still refer to Moira as his mom? There is no reason for him to pretend to be human, unless he’s trying to appeal to my humanity.

“Why?” is all I find the air to say. It’s the only question going through my mind. That and desire. An overwhelming desire.

“Because I wanted to be ready for you.” The words are low and sultry. And there’s that desire again. That must be how Killian’s doing it. His voice must have some kind of magic seduction. It’s the only explanation, because my cock is rock hard again.

“Stop doing that!” I scream, walking around to face Killian, the cross gripped firmly in my hand.

“Stop doing what?” Killian asks innocently, looking at me through his eyelashes.

“That! Whatever you’re doing with your voice! You have some kind of power! Like a spell or something! You’re making me want you!” I yell, spit flying out of my mouth and landing on Killian’s chest. I’m so tired of these games. I need to stop letting this… this demon distract me. I have a job.

“Powers? A spell? If you wanted a witch, Father, you came to the wrong house.” His smile is sickeningly sweet, and it makes me want him even more. Pure anger burns my body from the inside out. These games. They’re only making me angrier. All this demon has done is lie. He is doing something to me. He knows it.

“You want me because you find me attractive. Nothing to do with magic,” Killian says, each word formed slowly between red, bitten lips. I can’t take my eyes off of them .

I shake my head, forcing my gaze away from Killian’s perfect red lips. “I do not!” I scream, outraged by more lies and deceit. What should I expect from a demon, though?

“You know I could make you feel good. Better than God has ever made you feel.” Killian’s words are low, almost as though they were whispered directly into my ear. A shiver goes down my spine, blood rushing to my cock.

“Shut up! Keep His name out of your filthy mouth!” I grip the cross so tightly, I’m afraid my hand may break. I feel so hot, I don't know how the solid gold hasn’t melted from my touch. This demon has gone too far. God is almighty. He is pure and holy and everything good in the world. The demon has no right to use His name in such a context.

“Just give me the night, Father, and you’ll be praying to me,” Killian whispers, and I lose the tiny bit of control I had left.

“You want to be fucked so badly, huh?” I ask, shocking myself with my crude language. I haven't used that language since… that summer with Gabriel. The summer that changed everything. Memories of that summer only serve to ma ke me angrier. I grab Killian by the shoulders, forcing him to turn around. The ropes creek against the wood in protest.

“Now you’re getting it,” Killian chuckles. That damn chuckle is the detonator to the atomic bomb of rage in my body. Fury explodes in my chest, aftershocks reverberating through my limbs. My vision is tunneled; only the color of the explosion can be found. I act purely on instinct, just wanting to punish this demon.

“You’re gonna wish you never said that.” My gaze zeros in on the plug, as Killian called it. I reach down with a shaking hand, pausing for the briefest of moments. I’m not sure if it’s nerves or if it’s maybe a sign from God telling me not to do this. But I can’t find God. I haven’t felt Him since I walked into this godforsaken room.

“ Hoc est corpus meum. ” This is my body. A common saying in the church. I don't hesitate anymore. I reach down and pull the plug out of Killian’s ass, none too gently. The resulting hiss that is forced through his lips is the icing on the cake.

“You’re gonna admit that you’re using some kind of power on me,” I say, holding the cross to Killian’s skin. It doesn’t even sizzle. Is this room, this being, really that covered in darkness now? Have we somehow managed to fall through the literal gates of Hell without me noticing?

“I did nothing,” Killian maintains his voice even deeper than before, and I shake my head violently. With a trembling hand, I press the end of the cross to Killian’s stretched hole.

“Admit it, demon!” I threaten, pushing ever so slightly.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Father.” Killian looks over his shoulder, and I can see the smile on his face. Bastard.

“You asked for this.” I press the end of the cross past the tight ring of muscle. I don't pause to give Killian any time to adjust to the new sensation, I just push it deeper and deeper, until his rim touches the intersecting part of the cross.

“Fuck,” Killian breathes, and I can’t tell if it’s in pain or pleasure. I hope for the former.

“Admit that you’re using your powers on me,” I keep my voice low and menacing, pressing my body into Killian’s to make sure he hears me.

“This is all you, Father,” Killian responds, and for some reason that makes me even more furious. I move the cross resulting in a moan from Killian that goes straight to my cock. I will make this hurt. With no warning, I pump the cross in and out. In and out. Over and over again. Killian moans, tilting his head toward the sky as if in prayer.

“Is this what you wanted?” I ask, my breaths coming out in short, sharp huffs.

“Fuck, yes,” Killian moans again, and that answers my previous question. I push the cross deeper, moving it around. When Killian hisses out a breath, I think I may have finally hurt him. I press harder on that spot.

“Does that hurt? Not so cocky now, are you?” I ask, thrusting the cross in and out, aiming toward that spot every time.

“I can promise you, my cock’s doing great,” Killian says, his eyes closed and chin tilted toward the ceiling. What is that supposed to mean? I peek over Killian’s shoulder to find his cock still hard, jutting away from his body. The tip is the same color as Killian’s lips and shiny, as if covered with spit. The sight does something to me, not just making my pants tighter somehow.

“Oh my God.” The words are uttered before I have time to even think about them. My eyes are wide, mouth gaping open. I can’t stop watching, though. My eyes aren’t sure what to focus on - Killian’s cock, his face, or the way his ass is swallowing the cross every few seconds.

“That’s it, Father. Keep doing that. Feels so good.” Killian’s face is a mixture of bliss and pain.

“It’s not supposed to feel good, demon.” I grab a fist full of Killian’s hair, whispering the words into his ear. “You’re supposed to pay for your sins.” Killian smells like sweat, but it's a sweet aroma, like sugar mixed with a bit of cinnamon. I can’t help but breathe him in.

“Isn’t judgment and punishment up to God?” Killian asks, and I almost pause.

“That’s for humans. You aren’t a human.” I pull the cross almost completely out and Killian whimpers, trying to bend his hips to get the cross deeper. He doesn't have the leverage, though, with his feet barely touching the floor.

I make the mistake of looking down. Killian’s pretty pink hole is formed around the end of the gold cross. The cross shines, glimmering in the low light of the room. I push it back in, slowly this time, my cock getting harder and harder with each inch Killian takes. I imagine it’s my own cock that is entering Killian’s warm, tight heat. That he can feel me all around him. I moan.

“That’s it, Father. Fuck me with your cross. Make me come again,” Killian breathes, and his words do nothing to break the spell I feel like I’m under. In fact, they fuel it. I still want to punish Killian. Need to, but another small part of me wants to give Killian what he wants.

“Shut up,” I say, letting go of Killian’s hair and smacking him on the ass. The skin jiggles along the muscle, moving from the force of my hand. It bounces back into place quickly, but a red mark immediately begins to develop.

“Fuck,” Killian moans, and what the-? Every time I try to cause this demon pain, he likes it. What am I supposed to do? I smack him harder, timing each hit with the thrusting of the cross. Over and over again until Killian’s moans become whimpers.

“Bet you wish you never taunted me,” I say, the skin on Killian’s ass raised and bright pink. It burns hot, and I almost want to allow those flames to consume me.

“Fuck. So close. Can I come, Father? Please. Can I come?” Killian begs, looking at me with frantic eyes. Whatever I was about to say gets caught in my throat. Is Killian asking me for… permission? I don't answer, just double my efforts. The cross disappears over and over again. Killian’s whimpers turn into screams as he continues to beg to come. I stay silent, not giving him that.

“I’m gonna… I’m so sorry. Oh fuck. Yes. Right there. Gonna…” Killian’s words trail off, his whole body tensing up. I can’t stop myself from looking over Killian’s shoulder. His hips jut out into thin air and come pulses onto the floor below him. Each jet of come turns me on even more. I can't even explain why. I just know it’s the hottest thing I have ever seen.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Killian’s body goes completely limp, only supported by the rope. I slowly pull the cross out of Killian, suddenly disgusted with myself. What would God think if He knew I just made a demon come on a cross? Oh God. I need to… I need to leave. Right now. I will just call Moira and tell her that her son is beyond salvation.

I pick up my Bible and make a beeline for the door. I will pray. I will pray and pray and pray until God has forgiven me. I will do whatever it takes to be clean again. Can you be clean after that? You’re still hard. You almost came in your pants just by watching? How can you ever be clean again? I tell the nagging voice in my head to shut up. I reach for the knob and find it locked.

I didn’t lock it, though. In fact, I’m not even sure the door has a lock on it. I try to twist the knob again, but my efforts are futile. I shake the whole door, hitting it with my shoulder first then kicking with my foot. It won’t budge. I’m…. trapped.

“Leaving so soon, Father?” Killian’s voice is rough, as if it was drug from the deepest pits of Hell. A chill travels up my spine. I close my eyes, counting to three before I slowly turn around, finding Killian standing only a few feet away. How? I look behind Killian. The ropes are still hung over the exposed beam. They sway as if they were just touched. I look back at Killian and swallow. What is this demon going to do to me? Especially after what I just did to him. He’s got to be angry.

“I-I-” I have no idea what I intended to say. I have nothing to say. I start to silently pray. Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory. For ever and ever. Amen.

“I still need to repent,” Killian says slowly, taking a single step toward me. He’s still naked, and it's a sight to behold. The tattoos etched into his skin come alive when the light bounces off his body, as if it can’t be absorbed.

“What?” I ask, confused.

“I didn’t obey you,” Killian says, taking another step closer. I press my body more firmly to the door, praying that it will open up. Surely God is more powerful than Killian.

“I came without permission.” Another step. Now he’s within arm’s length. I try to slow my breathing, try to not panic, but it’s impossible with Killian’s eyes looking so black in the low light, I would swear there is no color left.

“You didn’t tell me I could, and that’s against the rules.”

What rules? I don't have time to contemplate because Killian has taken another step. We are so close to each other now, I can smell the sweet and spicy scent of his sweat. I can see every detail of his tattoos. I can count the beats of his heart.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” Killian drops to his knees, and before I can stop him, my pants are shoved down around my ankles and my cock is deep inside Killian’s throat.