THIRTY-THREE
Saraya
A necklace? Why does that sound so fucking hot?
I stare at the leather folded in half; in hands I know can do the most delicious things to a woman. Slowly, my eyes roam over his chest, then up to his face, where I meet smoldering gray eyes. What comes out of my mouth next surprises even me.
"How about option C—both A and B?"
My heart races as I see the stormy look that comes over Nyx's face. He’s right, I just orgasmed in front of my dying sperm donor, and to be perfectly honest, I’m not going to make it back to the house.
I want Nyx now. I want to feel his cock stretching me wide as he fucks me in the only way he knows how—deep and hard.
Grabbing the hem of my shirt, I try not to think about the dead body only two feet away as I lift it over my head.
My bra goes next, and then my bottoms, taking my panties with them.
Stepping out of my flats, then clothing, I turn and bend myself over the table that I bumped into, and look over my shoulder at Nyx.
His jaw is clenched, and he fists the belt in his hands as he stares at me with a hunger I've never seen before. When he doesn't move, I say three little words that have my stepbrother rushing to me.
"I'm ready, Sir."
"Grr," he growls and presses into me from behind. "Do you see what you fucking do to me, little lamb?"
"Well, do something about it then."
I feel my ass cheeks spread just before Nyx rubs his hardness up and down .
"I'm going to fuck your ass soon, little lamb, but I want to do it at the club, where I can have you restrained and watched. I'm going to take it in the voyeur room, so everyone knows who fucking owns this perfect peach you've got."
Jesus. How can he make the filthiest talk sound sexy as hell? This is all new to me, yet I'm comfortable with it all. Is this what it means to have that one person you were always meant for? Is my stepbrother my soulmate?
"Oh God…" I pant, gripping the edge of the table as he continues to dry hump me.
Suddenly, I feel the belt go around my neck, and he makes quick work of tightening it until it's nice and snug. My back arches when he pulls back on it, and his hand comes to my front to pinch my already-hardened nipples.
"Look at you, little lamb. You're about to get fucked right in front of the corpse of the man who gave you life. You're my good little whore, aren't you?"
"Yes," I whimper. "Now shut up and just fuck me already."
"Mm, I love it when you try being demanding."
I feel him fumble with his pants, and then he's thrusting into me without a care as to my comfort—and I welcome it. He holds the belt, so it remains snug as he pounds into me, grunting and groaning.
"I'm going to fill you with my little spawns, Raya. I hope you're ready for a Hall full of our kids."
Nyx's words spear me because he doesn't know what I did.
He's going to be beyond pissed if he finds out that I had Dr. Mahony give me the shot.
It was after the whole Plan B debacle. I don't want to have a child if the father isn't going to be in their life, and at that time, I wasn't sure if I was going to stick around.
The more events that took place, keeping me from leaving, the more I realized that they must have been God-sent because I do not want to leave Nyx again. This is our second chance, and I want to see what happens. However, keeping this little secret from him won't go over too well when he finds out.
"Fuck, Raya. I need you to come because I'm about to fill you full," Nyx growls from behind me .
I'm just about there, but when he yanks the belt, making me stand with my back to him, his hand goes to my clit, and it's all it takes to be able to give my stepbrother what he wants—I come for him.
"Good fucking girl…" he snarls in my ear before giving me his release.
"We should probably make sure you're not carrying a little something extra before you continue going on these little warehouse calls with me." Nyx comes up, wraps his arms around me from behind, and splays his hand against my stomach. "I wouldn't want anything happening to them."
I bite my lip and say, "I should get my period in the next week or so…"
"And if you don't?"
"Nyx," I sigh his name as I pull away. "Can we not talk about kids just yet? We aren't even married. We've only just come together again…" I pause and hold my hand up, knowing where his mind would go. "No pun intended, perv."
Giving me his most wicked smile, he shrugs. "Well, I won't wear a condom with you, Raya. I want to feel all of you when we fuck, and we've already discussed how I feel about Plan B—"
"I got the birth control shot."
I cut his sentence off when I come clean with him, saying it so fast that I wonder if he even understood what I said. However, the look that appears on his face tells me what I need to know—he heard me, and he isn't happy.
"When?"
"Not that long ago—before the whole kitchen event. I had gotten my period, so I knew I wasn't pregnant. I won't lie; I'm not sure it was in full effect when we had sex that day because I hadn't had it in my system that long."
"You didn't think to discuss it with me first?" I can hear the hurt in his voice, but his expression is one of fury.
His words piss me off.
Straightening my spine, I lift my chin and state, "I don't need permission to get on contraception, Nyx.
I'm almost thirty years old—and I wasn't sure I was even staying.
Had I gotten pregnant, the choice to stay or go would have been taken from me.
I'm sorry if you don't understand that, but you can go fuck yourself if you think I will ever allow another man to dictate my life again. "
I slip my feet into my flats and storm from the room. I hear him curse before he calls out my name, but I ignore him and keep going. I don't stop until I get to his car and get in. Unfortunately, I must ride home with him, but it's not like we've never ridden together without talking.
Nyx has other plans as he gets into the driver's seat. Instead of starting the car, he sits back in his seat and stares out his window.
"I'm not used to this shit, Raya."
He pauses as if wanting me to say something, but I remain silent, so he continues.
"For over ten years, I've lived for myself, taking whatever I wanted because I knew I could—because of who I was. I no longer had the one person I loved most, so what was the point in being that person anymore?"
I swallow hard, tears threatening to fall at any moment as I listen to what Nyx is saying.
I can't say anything even if I want to because there is a lump in my throat.
Relaxing in my seat, I let him take my hand when he reaches for it, but I don't dare look at him.
I'm not ready to be that vulnerable in front of him yet, and if I gaze into those gray eyes, I know I will break.
"I don't mean to be a dick—not to you, anyway. I have a lot to make up for already without having to add more to it. The thought of you carrying my child means something to me, Raya. Yes, I have four more years to produce an heir or lose my place, but that's not why I want you to have my child."
"Nyx, I…"
I can't seem to utter a goddamn sentence.
“No, Raya, it’s okay. I get why you don't want to get pregnant yet. I also understand that we weren't in a good place back then—not like we are now. I'm upset that you felt you couldn't tell me you went back on it once we settled the topic about you leaving."
Clearing my throat, I'm finally able to speak. "It's not something that I thought about twenty-four seven, so I'm sorry if I didn't just blurt it out each time we were together; I had other things on my mind."
"You should know that you are the only one that I want carrying my child. I would have waited until the last possible moment to find a wife if need be, but now that I know you are back in the running, I won't settle for anyone else. "
Damn it! Why does he have to say these things?
I need him to be the brute I know him to be so I can keep my emotions in check, but I don't think I can for much longer.
We just killed somebody, then fucked right beside the body, and now we're talking about sappy shit.
Who would have thought that Nyx Beckam had a sentimental side to him?
I burst out in laughter, surprising us both.
"I don't think this is a laughing matter, Raya."
"I'm sorry. It's not, and that's not what I'm laughing at," I tell him as I wipe my eyes.
"Then what is it?" The scowl he wears only makes me start laughing again.
"We just fucked beside my sperm donor's body, and now we're talking about kids. You're showing me a side of you that I've been wanting to see ever since I came to you, and yet, I'm sitting here wanting nothing more than to have you acting like the brute you've been."
He stares at me as if I've lost my mind.
"I know, it's crazy," I state, laughing even harder.
"I fucking love you."
All laughter stops when I hear Nyx's confession. I stare back at him.
"What did you just say?" I breathe softly.
"I said, I fucking love you. I've never stopped loving you. It's why I never gave another woman the time of day outside of being a sub and never took on a permanent sub. Nobody could ever compare to you."
The vulnerability I now see in Nyx's eyes does me in, and I feel the first tear fall. Once again, I'm speechless. His hand squeezes mine, but other than that and our breathing, there is no movement or sound as we gaze at each other.
Suddenly, I'm across the center console, straddling his lap and kissing the shit out of him. I'm unsure whether I came over here or if he pulled me over, but it doesn't matter because I need to be in his arms right now.
My hands hold each side of his head as I open my mouth and let him in. I'm unsure how long we sit here and make out, but my lips are numb when I pull away.
"I love you too, Nyx."
"Phoenyx…"
"Huh?"
"Call me by my real name like you used to. I only ever want it to come out of your mouth. "