6. Chapter Six
Chapter Six
Darius
It had been utter torture seeing Milo yesterday when Jeremy welcomed Cass into our pack.
He’d seemed robotic in a way, not quite smiling or showing emotions, like he was just there to help out, but not truly with us.
I feared I was the reason for it, but then again, he’d been the one thinking I was a means to get back at his brother.
I shouldn’t feel sorry for him, but I still did.
I couldn’t help myself. Milo had always been beautiful, but it wasn’t until now I realized how attractive he was, too.
But with his face lacking any emotion, the beauty seemed to wash away, the happiness no longer there.
Not even forced smiles as he helped the cooks prepare the food while we ate.
I tried coming up with ways where I could be a friend to Milo as he got older, but how was I supposed to keep my hands to myself?
Milo was everything I’d ever wanted. His choices were just questionable and downright immature.
It would feel as though I thought what he’d done was okay, like I was accepting his bad behavior.
Was it wrong of me to let him stew? To force him to face his mistakes?
Did he even regret it? Did he wish our first kiss had happened differently?
I did. Gods, every night I wished it would’ve gone differently.
We could’ve been mated by now. I wouldn’t be waking up alone, but to a warm Milo by my side, likely hogging the covers for himself. The thought made me smile.
Today was the anniversary of my parent’s deaths, and like every year since they passed, I made sure to visit their graves carrying some flowers in my wolf form.
I was fourteen when they passed but some days it felt like it had only just happened.
They weren’t in an accident or anything, but died of old age.
My dad was older than my mom but when a shifter lost their fated it could be deadly.
So after my dad had taken his final breath, Mom joined him willingly, allowing her soul to follow his.
Being only fourteen, I couldn’t fathom why she’d willingly left me, but my aunt Givanna had assured me I would know one day. And as I stared down at the rocks marking their gravesite, I finally understood.
My parents had lived a long and happy life together, my mom being in her late forties when she finally got pregnant and had me.
I’d found her too young to die and leave me behind, but I knew now the pain she would have felt waking up each day knowing it would be another day without my dad there to keep her company.
Aunt Givanna had taken me in after that, offering me all the love she had. It reminded me that I needed to tell her about Milo. I just feared how she’d take the news. She was fiercely protective over me and I didn’t want her to hate Milo.
I sat near the stones, watching the subtle changes they’d gone through since last year.
More moss covered the bases but otherwise they still looked the same.
I’d never visited them in my human form, and I still had no idea why.
Maybe it felt less real when in my wolf form?
Maybe I felt less vulnerable? Whatever the reason, I was intent on continuing the tradition as it was.
The flowers were also the same each year since they were Mom’s favorite and bloomed into fall.
Asters. They were safe for dogs, meaning it was safe for wolves, too.
They now laid between both stones, creating a beautiful contrast between the grey stones and brownish grass.
The purple flowers with the yellow insides always brought out conflicting emotions.
Dad used to pick them for Mom and I remembered her bright smile as she accepted them and got the vase ready.
Now they mostly reminded me of this time of year.
The time I’d lost them. But it was a beautiful way to remember them.
I hoped they knew I’d found my fated, that I was being wise with waiting. I hoped they liked Milo, that they cheered us on from wherever they were now.
I stayed for two hours, resting near the stones, feeling comforted by the thought of being close to them, even if they weren’t there. This day was more for me than them. It was my way of coping with them no longer being here, and I couldn’t imagine a year where I wouldn’t visit them.
Aunt Givanna would be waiting with dinner soon, so I reluctantly got back on my paws and nuzzled each stone goodbye before running in a slow pace back towards her home.
“Sit,” Aunt Givanna ordered, eyeing me curiously.
I did as ordered, one did not cross Givanna Lonsin.
“Now,” she said, sitting down at the table in front of me, her roasted chicken steaming between us where it laid on her best serving platter next to some mashed potatoes and gravy. “How were they?”
She always asked this, every single year.
“They were fine,” I replied, same as always.
Givanna’s legs couldn’t handle the trek up the hill so she never visited anymore. Something we should’ve planned better, but the placement held great importance to my parents for it was there they’d gotten engaged under the huge willow tree.
“Hmm,” she hummed, cutting into the chicken before adding some of the meat to my plate. She always served me first. “I heard about Milo.”
My eyes snapped to hers. “You have?”
She nodded, not meeting my gaze as she continued to fill my plate with delicious food. “Paul visited briefly after Cass was welcomed into the pack.”
I could only nod, wondering what Paul had told her, what Milo had told him.
“Paul told me Milo was acting weird and to look out for you.”
“What did he mean by that?” I asked, my tone bordering on a demand.
She sighed. “He simply told me that Milo had been more distant since Jeremy got the Alpha title. That he might be feeling jealous and petty because of it. He feared Milo would take it out on you.”
I was already shaking my head before she’d finished talking. Paul worried more about me than his own son? He was prepared for Milo to treat me…what? Horribly because he wasn’t chosen as alpha?
“What happens between Milo and me won’t have anything to do with others,” I stated firmly.
“So why have you yet to mate?” her tone was gentle, just like always, her eyes imploring.
“Because he isn’t ready for something as serious as forever yet,” I admitted.
She nodded. “I was seventeen,” she whispered, her head turned to the left where her wall of pictures was. “Your uncle and I were young, but we were fated. There was no reason to wait for the inevitable.”
I swallowed, then nodded. Uncle Tim died at twenty, the reason Givanna never had any children, she simply stayed alone ever since he’d died in an accident while at work.
Her gaze met mine. “You never know how long you’ve got, my boy. If Milo isn’t ready, you just need to convince him that you aren’t going anywhere.”
“He’s not the one who wants to wait,” I explained. “I am.”
“But you said he’s not ready?”
“Because I don’t believe he is.”
“But isn’t that up to him to decide?”
Well, damn. “But aren’t I supposed to know what’s best for him? As his mate?” I tried.
“But you aren’t his mate, yet, are you?” she countered, one eyebrow raised.
I slumped back into my chair. Maybe she was right, she tended to be. Milo and I were fated and like Givanna had said, why wait for the inevitable?
I could try and seek him out to mend things between us, but I didn’t even have a clue if he still wanted me.
“Thank you,” I whispered, then began eating, praying this conversation was over with.
“Anytime, love, anytime.”