Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
B eckett
The jingling sound was one I knew well. Jax was awake and enjoying attention.
He romped into the kitchen first, issuing a single bark as if requiring me to acknowledge his arrival.
“Traitor,” I told him as I grinned. He’d spent a second night with Mallory, using her pillow as his own. I’d known.
I’d checked on both.
More than once.
Mallory walked into the kitchen, immediately taking a deep breath. “Coffee. The liquid of the gods.”
Her exclamation made me chuckle. “How did you sleep?” It was a typical question you’d ask anyone who’d stayed in your house overnight. Polite. Non-intrusive. The decent thing to do.
Now most people honestly didn’t give a shit. At least not enough to spend more than a few seconds listening to a basic answer. Oddly enough, I did care.
“Like a rock,” Mallory said as she brushed hair behind her ear. The gesture was subtle, but drew my complete and rapt attention. She seemed embarrassed for some reason, the light flush on her face followed by two darts of her eyes in my direction.
She was wearing another tee shirt, this one long sleeved and so large on her, it almost reached her knees.
We hadn’t spent the night in bed talking until the wee hours of the morning. I hadn’t ravaged her several times like I’d initially thought about. I’d sensed space was needed.
For both of us.
Now I was certain I was right.
Mallory wasn’t a typical woman by any means. She was strong and independent in a way that left her craving spending time alone. That was another reason I’d been so drawn to her. There was nothing clingy about her.
“Good.” I grabbed the mug of coffee I’d prepared for her, adding something a little special. I don’t know why, but doing so had felt important to me. As I headed toward her, she seemed almost fidgety, shifting from foot to foot. She didn’t attempt to avoid our fingers touching as she had the morning before, but she was almost as uncomfortable as she’d been.
Being intimate didn’t necessarily break down barriers. There was too much baggage standing in our way of being completely honest with one another.
Or with ourselves.
She held the mug with both hands, immediately walking toward the window. Taking my eyes off her wasn’t an option. “The snow stopped.”
“Around three-thirty this morning.”
“Does that mean you were awake?”
“I was.” I headed to the Keurig machine. This morning called for another cup of java just to get going. My muscles ached, my back stiff. I wondered if my condition had anything to do with the evening of fulfilling my hunger.
She turned to face me, leaning against the counter. “Don’t you ever sleep?” I watched as she finally took a sip, her eyes lighting up. “Irish Cream!”
“Do you like it?”
“Are you kidding me?” Her voice sounded like a kitten’s purr.
“I thought you might enjoy it. As far as your question, I rarely sleep.”
“Because you’re always on duty.”
She made the comment into a statement. “I gave up serving my country a long time ago.”
“But you were in the armed forces.”
There was no reason not to tell her the truth. She’d never learn my true identity. Confessing all my sins would completely place her life in a path of danger. “The Marines.”
“Admirable.”
“Necessary. Jail time or enter the military. Those were my options.” How ironic the offer had been made, but he’d all but forced me to work with a criminal years later. The irony wasn’t lost on me and had never been.
“Ouch,” she said. “By the court system?”
“By my father. Tough old bird.” I laughed as memories of my mom and dad entered my mind. There was also anger there, enough that I fisted my hand. I wouldn’t be in this shitty place if he hadn’t been such a deadbeat.
“Like father, like son. Right?”
“Something like that.”
“But you entered a life of crime anyway.”
After the cup brewed, I took my time adding cream and sugar. “We do what we need to do in life to make it more palatable.”
“Why did you feel the need to leave?”
I turned to face her and shook my head.
“You’re not going to be honest with me. Are you?” she asked.
“It’s better you don’t know about me or my past.”
“In case some thugs use me against you?”
Seeing the way her eyes filled with defiance was a clear indication of how strong she believed herself to be. Yet she had no idea what she could be facing if anyone ever learned just how close we’d become even for a short period in our lives. “Why do you feel the need to know, Mallory?”
She thought about my question. “Let’s face the truth here. What we’re sharing here is nothing but a mirage. Once life returns to normal, we’ll never see each other again. Maybe that’s the only thing that can occur after what we’ve shared and what knowledge I do have, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be curious as to what happened in a life that I think you believed was the one you wanted. Something happened that challenged everything you believed in and the real man inside was forced to make a choice.”
“You’re a little too smart for your own good, Doc. I always knew what I’d gotten myself involved in, but maybe I was stupid enough to buy the thought there was a level of decency that would be maintained. That wasn’t the case.”
“A woman you cared about?”
She was going to keep fishing. “A woman I’d never met before. And her son. That’s all you need to know.”
Very slowly her eyes opened wide. “You became their hero.”
“I did what I felt was right.” For a goddamn change.
She cocked her head, narrowing her eyes. “You’re still doing the right thing. Aren’t you? That’s what you meant by responsibilities.”
“As I said, you’re too smart for your own good. That’s where the questions end, Mallory. It’s too dangerous.”
“For being a good person, you’ll be forced to look over your shoulder for the rest of your life.”
She had a way of unnerving the hell out of me. “Well worth it, Doc. But it’s a good reason for you to stay away from me.”
“What if I don’t necessarily want to?”
“You suddenly trust me?” I half laughed, but I sensed that’s exactly what she was telling me without doing so in so many words.
“People rarely surprise me any longer, Beckett. You see and hear a lot of horrifying aspects of human nature while helping animals. Before I left Richmond, nothing fazed me any longer. It was like I was immune to both the good and bad in people. I think that’s really what drew me into returning home. Being here has changed you. You might not believe it, but I know I’m right.”
“If only things in life were that easy.”
“I know I have no say and no right to challenge you on any aspect of your life. You’re going to do what you feel is right for you. That doesn’t mean I’ll like the decisions you make. You’re a good man, Beckett, and I know that’s not your real name. You need to remember that. I’ll never learn your given name, but it doesn’t matter what you’re called or where you live, at least I was given a gift of knowing the real man. If only for a little while. We were both wrong before. I do like you.”
“I don’t see you for a fool, Doc. You’re far too intelligent and savvy for that. Trust your first instincts.” I felt her heated glare as if she was holding a firecracker.
“Fine. I’ll choose to hate you then. Why not? I’m going to shower and change. The coffee is wonderful. Thank you.” She didn’t budge for a few seconds and during the moment we shared, it was as if time had ceased to exist.
Jax nuzzled against her leg and she automatically stroked the top of his head.
“I need you to look at something.” I’d debated having her glance at the photo the first assassin had on his phone. Maybe I was hoping seeing the picture would jog her memory.
“Okay.” She narrowed her eyes as I brought out the phone, shifting to the camera roll.
“Who is this man?”
She stared at it for a few seconds and exhaled. “He was flirting with Marjorie, my best friend. Maybe he was flirting with me too. He insisted on taking the picture. I’m surprised you didn’t see him. Maybe you’d left by that point. The brunch?”
I’d briefly noticed a man had walked to their table, but red flags hadn’t been raised because it seemed as if at least one of the women knew him. I’d left shortly after that.
“What can you tell me about him?”
Exhaling, she nibbled on her lower lip. “He seemed nice enough, but pushy, you know? I think he said his name was Zane, but I was barely paying any attention. I was making lists in my mind of everything I needed to accomplish at the clinic.” She lifted her head. “You still don’t trust me.”
“I do trust you, but I was hopeful you’d remember something useful.” Goddamn it. The fucker had been brazen.
“I guess I didn’t catch the clues he was casing me. Or you. It’s not like I’ve been involved in criminal activities before.”
“You mean other than breaking into my office.” Her face immediately turned bright red.
“You’re going to continue reminding me of that. Aren’t you?”
“Yep,” I growled. “Let the lady shower and change, buddy. I’ll get you breakfast.”
He huffed and snorted as if his majesty approved. His actions rewarded me with a bright smile and her lilting laugh even though it broke the spell. She headed toward the door, stopping as soon as she was about to walk into the living room.
“When do you think the roads will be safe enough to return home?”
I took a deep breath. “At least a day or two. Depends on how warm it gets and if we have any sun.”
Her sigh seemed exaggerated. “Well, at least we have a couple days before the real world crowds everything else out. That makes me happy.”
With that, she walked out and I was left to wonder how the fuck karma had swept me straight into hell.
“You play beautifully, Michaelangelo.”
I immediately stopped, lifting my head as my body stiffened. “You shouldn’t be in here, Ava.”
“Why? Because I’m a prisoner?”
“Because Gio wouldn’t like it.”
“Fuck Gio. You know how much I hate him.”
This was as bold as I’d seen her even though her voice was still laced with terror of what Gio would do. The man might have once been my friend, but he was a savage asshole. He kept his bride to be in line using violence and threats of slaughtering her family. While part of my job was to protect her from enemy soldiers, I could do nothing to protect her from him.
“Go back to your room, Ava. It’s safer there.”
“Safe. There’s nowhere in this house, on the grounds or in this world where I’ll be safe. You should know that almost as well as anyone. Quite frankly, I don’t care if I die.”
“You play beautifully, Beckett.”
Hearing Mallory’s comment didn’t immediately drag me from the memory. It was as if the lovely veterinarian had been pulled into my past if for only a few seconds. I lifted my head up from the guitar, strumming another chord as Mallory sat down on the couch in front of me.
“I don’t play often enough.” It brought back too many memories.
“Don’t worry. I won’t ask you why. I’m finished with attempting to learn more about you.” There was no anger in her tone and barely a hint of resignation.
“I rarely play any longer because doing so is a reminder of all the things I lost.” I strummed a few additional chords and could sense I had her rapt attention. I hadn’t finished playing a song in so long I wasn’t certain of the month. Now, with her watching, I wanted to enjoy the moment.
That’s what she did to me.
It felt good to release in a way that very little else could accomplish. Violence had once soothed the nerves and anger before either became intolerable, but over the years, breaking bones and shedding blood had become just a matter of course. A means to an end.
But music had kept me feeling alive, provoking deep feelings and allowing me to think difficult situations all the way through. As I strummed the guitar, I became lost not only in the music itself, but in the story behind the haunting piece.
I felt every note, every C sharp and adagio furrowing through my core to my bones.
When I was finished, I took a deep breath, finally raising my head.
“Incredible,” she said. “My mother once told me that any time I was having a bad day I should turn on some music and everything would appear brighter. She was right.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Thank you for sharing the song with me.”
Nodding, I sniffed, seeing Jax and how comfortable he was being at her feet. When I stood, he didn’t move. As I walked toward the guitar stand, he opened a single eye. Mallory was different, never blinking as she studied me. How many times had we done the exact same thing to each other? She finally turned her attention to the back door.
“You shoveled another path in the snow.”
“I did.” I walked closer yet kept a good distance between us. “It’s pretty packed so Jax shouldn’t have any difficulties.”
“Does that mean I can go outside?”
“Why would you want to?”
Very slowly a smile drifted from one side of her face to the other. “You don’t have much fun in your life. Do you?”
Snorting, I immediately tried to counter her accusation with a quick and quippy comeback, but she’d caught me. “It depends on your definition of the word fun.”
“You know. Entertainment that allows you to laugh, cry, swoon, or feel invincible? Even intense and very raw fear after watching a horror movie. Emotions so strong you burn to feel them again. Fun. A walk on the beach. Playing Frisbee with Jax. Racecar driving.”
I was staring at her.
“Mountain climbing? You know. Rappelling? I know. Surfing. You look like you could be a surfer. You’re not a yachting kind of guy.”
I took a step closer.
“Amusement parks? Rollercoasters? A haunted mansion?” She sighed when I remained silent.
I took another step closer. “You’re trying too hard, Doc.”
“Maybe you’re right. When you’re not chasing bad guys, what do you do?”
She could make me laugh and feel foolish like no one else. “I’m not bad using a hammer and a miter box.”
“Hmm… Maybe I’ll get you to fix up my dad’s place. My father wasn’t good at repairs.”
“I’d be happy to.” If only we could engage in normal activity.
Mallory nodded, but I could tell by the sadness on her face she certainly didn’t anticipate that happening. When her eyes flickered, I was instantly tense. She had a way of getting out of control. She jerked up, tapping her foot. I could swear she was communicating with my pup through their eyes only.
Suddenly, Jax jumped up as well, woofing and racing toward the door.
She tossed back her head, moving toward the front door. When she threw open the closet, I became more intrigued.
“What are you doing?”
“You were right. I was trying way too hard.” She pulled out her jacket, hurriedly tugging it on. “For someone who doesn’t understand the concept of fun, you can’t start with the bar set too high. That will lead to a catastrophic failure. If that would happen, I doubt you’d ever bother again, ending your life old, lonely, and bored.”
“You have it all figured out. Don’t you?”
She tossed a jacket toward me, winking after doing so. “What if I do? Put that on. Don’t forget your gloves. Do you want a scarf?”
“What are we doing?”
“What does it look like, big man? We’re going outside. If the snow is packed, we shouldn’t have any issues. Right?”
“That depends.” I debated allowing her to walk out the door. While I’d seen no sign of trouble, my hackles would be raised for the time being until I made a few inquiries. That would take breaking the protocol I’d put into place the day I’d left New York. It needed to be done, but very carefully.
And not now.
“Goddamn it. Live a little, Beckett. What’s it going to hurt you? We have time. We need to burn off energy.”
I snagged the coat from the floor, shaking it a few times. “Fine, but you wait right here. I’ll be right back.”
“Come on.”
“Right there. You move, I’ll punish you.” I was teasing her, but I gathered a sense she was aroused.
She frowned and cocked her head to the side. “Two minutes and all bets are off. Do you hear that, buster?”
Yeah, I heard it. She had no understanding that all I wanted for her was for her to return to her life where she could remain that way in one piece.
I’d come to a solid conclusion and the only one that would allow her to enjoy the town and the friends she’d come to rely on.
As soon as I ensured she was safely tucked away, I’d follow protocol.
Within twenty-four hours, I’d be gone.
And she’d never hear from me again.