Girl Gang Group Chat
Ruth
How are things going, Maren? Do you need help moving a body?
Brooke
I really freaking hope not. I just put on my pajamas.
Mariah
I could use a night out. I’m not saying go out of your way to commit a crime, but I’m also not saying I wouldn’t be down to help cover it up.
As long as I don’t have to change a diaper, I’m in.
Maren
Everyone knows the first rule of committing a crime is that you can’t tell anyone you committed a crime.
Brooke
That sounds a lot like I have one less brother-in-law.
Maren
He’s not dead.
Yet.
Ruth
Don’t kill him. If you kill him, Tucker will think I should come work in his department. And I’m not sure I can handle that.
Brooke
You’d rather work for Trevor than Tucker??????
Ruth
If you tell him that I’ll deny it until I die.
Brooke
Your secret is safe with me.
Mariah
So what I’m hearing is I’m not getting a night out.
Maren
No night out. I’m already in bed. It’s been a long fucking day and I just want to go to sleep.
Ruth
Quick question--just so I know what to expect tomorrow. Are you the only one in the bed?
Maren
Of course I’m the only one in the bed! My sister is here.
Ruth
Oh no! I’ve been sleeping in bed with Tucker for months now with Birdie right down the hall. I didn’t realize there was a law against finally finding some freaking happiness for ourselves.
Maren
Wow. That was unnecessarily aggressive.
Ruth
Seems like it was pretty necessary to me.