Chapter 7
MALIK
M y emotions are dull, almost numb, as Circe walks down the hallway, a hunter joining her to escort her out.
I’m still trying to process the fact that the woman who was just here eating in Leonora’s solarium was the Circe.
I had no idea the sorceress of legend was actually real, but to be fair, I didn’t know witches existed until this year, so …
And now that sorceress is going after the Silver Thread, an entire coven of witches targeted because I couldn’t be content with the life dealt to me. I had to rebel. I had to fight back.
Leonora smirks at the untouched steak on Circe’s plate. She grabs it, her nails sinking into the red meat. Blood drips, leaving a brilliant splatter trail from the table to Leonora’s mouth. As she chews, she waves at the piece of raw steak still sitting on the floor. “Don’t be wasteful, pet.”
Obediently, I crouch and swallow the filet in one bite. It’s delicious, but I wish it was Leonora’s flesh I was tearing into, the blood of her no-longer beating heart gushing down my throat. But I know better. I tried to kill her once, and here I am .
Her melodic voice grates on my ears as she says, “Good boy.”
With a screech of metal against brick, she shoves her chair out of the way, leading me by my leash.
As I follow, she says, “I only pulled you from your cage to seal that deal. I knew once Circe saw you with her own eyes, she’d agree to almost anything to have you.
So, be sure to thank her properly, yes pet? ”
I dip my head in acquiescence, though the thought of another woman using me …
My anger seethes, mixing with a healthy dash of dread.
It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. Though … My brothers’ will never want to see me again, not once they know I was the price paid for the death of everyone in their mates’ coven.
Not even they will be able to forgive that.
I don’t want to think about that. It hurts too much to contemplate the possibility of losing them forever. I curl up inside my beast’s mind, retreating, yearning to disappear inside my beast, to let go of my humanity.
My beast rumbles in my mind, keeping me present, keeping me from running away.
His voice—offering a much-needed distraction—is so much louder since he’s in control right now.
“I hope Amri got out. What the fuck was she thinking coming to the palace, spying, showing herself to Askari? She’s going to get herself killed.
She’s being too reckless. I’d like to thrash that wolverine, that’s for sure. ”
I can’t help the small smile that lifts my mood ever so slightly. But yes, I agree. I would love to punish Amri … in the most delicious of ways.
Magic, soft and warm, curls around me, and an involuntary yawn escapes, my jaws opening wide.
I wobble, my legs shaky, and I blink. We are in Leonora’s main study, and the door is closed.
The scent of paper, leather, and dust hangs heavy in the air, and Leonora’s desk sits just to my left, spotless as ever.
I was so lost within my thoughts, I wasn’t paying attention to where my goddess was leading me.
Not that it matters. She could have led me anywhere in her vast palace; this punishment was always coming—and that is what this is, despite the gentle touch of her power.
Leonora crouches, her blood-stained clothing at odds with the peaceful set to her face.
Her nails scrape across the top of my head, scratching between my ears, dragging a purr from my belly.
I close my eyes, and my breathing slows down as her fingers trail down my snout, and then she taps my nose. “Boop.”
My eyes fly open, and my muzzle pulls back on a snarl as my anger slips out, but I’m quick to smooth my features.
Leonora just laughs, which has my alpha nature rearing its head, ready to bite her fingers off if she moves to touch me again, but she doesn’t.
Leonora hugs her shins, tilting her head at me like a sadistic child about to burn ants with a magnifying glass.
“Malik, pet. Where are your brothers?” Her magic seeps into my bones as she scratches her nails under my chin.
My eyes slide closed once more, and my haunches hit the wood planks of the floor as I sit.
Her hand moves down, petting my broad chest. “Tell me where they are so I can bring them home. Isn’t that what you want, Malik?
All of us back together? A family once more? ”
My muscles quiver as I fight to resist Leonora’s magic, and I manage to meet her gaze. I growl at her, low and fierce. The floor shakes with the vibrations coming from my very core, my very soul. She can’t have them.
Leonora tsks as she stands and says, “Still so defiant. All I want is their safety, here with me, with us.” Her hand trails back up over my neck, fingers tracing my collar before skimming up my face and then my ear.
It feels so good. Her touch is so gentle, caring, loving.
No, not loving … possessive. But being wanted, craved; it feels good.
My beast shoves me further back in his mind, growling, “Useless.” That growl gets louder, manifesting a threat that vibrates his entire body. His lips peel back with his snarl, exposing his sharp teeth.
With a sigh, Leonora drops her hand and wraps it back around her shins.
“You need to stop, Malik. Please. I love you. After everything, I still love you. I’m just trying to protect you and your brothers.
I’ve poured so much of myself into caring for you, loving you.
I … What is it going to take for you to love me back? ”
Her eyes shimmer, turning them a brighter gold. Her tears are just another weapon, but her question does give me pause.
I pull myself closer to the edge of my beast and slip into her mind, “Leave them alone. Let my brothers live with their mates in peace. You have all the other Leos, and” —I swallow the bile that shoots up my throat— “and me.”
Leonora wipes her eyes and goes still for a long moment before she responds out loud, “If I free your brothers, you will stop rebelling? You will stay? You will love me?”
A piece of my soul dies … maybe the last piece of my soul that was still mine as I say, “Yes.”
Her teeth tug at her bottom lip. Her eyes focus on my face, trying to find the lie. The bloodstains on her expensive pants blot and crinkle as her fingers curl into the fabric. I need her to say yes. I need her to agree, then I might be able to breathe again, knowing my brothers are finally safe.
My beast rumbles, “It won’t matter. They won’t stop trying to free us.”
I raise a brow at him. “Won’t they? If it was just them, I’d agree, but they have their mates now. If Leonora truly sets them free, they will stay away to protect their mates.”
My beast rolls his eyes, not convinced, and I want to be wrong, but …
As Leonora’s gaze bores into mine, hopefully considering my offer, I think about how … shallow her gaze feels.
I recall Amri’s eyes on me, and the odd sensation I couldn’t put a name to at the time.
That’s because I don’t think anyone has looked at me quite like she did.
There wasn’t any pity, and certainly no hate in her blue eyes like I so often see in other shifters in the palace.
Her gaze held none of the shared trauma that is often in the glances between my brothers and me.
And there wasn’t a lick of the fear that I so often catch Askari trying to hide in his expression.
I know my beta isn’t so much afraid for himself as he is for me, but it still clouds his kind brown eyes.
So, what was so different about the way Amri looked at me?
I focus on Leonora as she continues to stare, and I’m struck breathless as realization washes over me.
My goddess has never, not once in my entire life, looked at me and actually seen me.
That was the strange sensation I felt the first time I locked eyes with Amri.
She looked right into my eyes but didn’t stop there.
She peered into my soul and saw … me. She saw me so thoroughly, she knew what I needed and let go of our fate threads.
Even now, thinking back on the way she looked at me, I want to fidget, uncomfortable with someone so easily seeing to the dark heart of who I am.
Now that I’ve noticed it, Leonora’s shallow stare grates on my nerves, fanning my ever-present anger.
Finally, Leonora shakes her head. “No.”
I blink at her, for some reason shocked that she turned down my offer of loyalty in return for my brothers’ freedom. Of course she’s not going to give up on them. She’s so greedy, so narcissistic, that she won’t give up an inch. Not even for me.
Why does that hurt?
My beast grumbles in my head. “Because our mother died and left us. Because the Leos continue to turn a blind eye after all these years, and worse, some even hate us for being Leonora’s favorite, as if we asked for it.
Because we can’t save our brothers. Because we can’t be the alpha Askari needs us to be.
Because we can’t be a good mate to Amri.
And because Leonora loves us in her own toxic way, yet we are not enough for her. She needs more. We are never enough.”
I hate that my beast feels this way. I hate that I feel this way, but it’s true.