Chapter 11
MALIK
F reshly showered, I fasten my pants as I leave the old bedroom suite I used to share with my brothers. Rian’s scent still lingered, stabbing at my heart with missing him, even as Leonora stroked me off once before shoving me onto the large bed. I barely remember anything after that.
What I do remember is trying to disassociate into the agony and pleasure but unable to until I allowed myself to think about Amri.
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t find release until the memory of Amri replaced Leonora’s body, voice, and scent.
I was so lost in the fantasy, I didn’t realize Leonora was done with me until the pressure of her spell faded, and my cock finally went flaccid.
I’d watched, still slightly disconnected from myself as Leonora stretched out on my old bed, rubbing her scent all over it.
I’m not sure if she was trying to prove some point, but I couldn’t care less.
At least she hasn’t started cutting off my body parts to send to my brothers … yet.
I brush my hair over my shoulder as I stride down the wide steps of the palace, heading towards the barracks.
Even when my brothers and I were Leonora’s hunters, we didn’t live in these quarters.
Leonora gave us our own room in her palace, which she knew caused animosity between us and her other hunters, but she didn’t care.
In fact, I think she enjoyed separating us from all her other shifters.
She put us on a pedestal, claimed us as her favorites, and in doing so, set us apart from the rest of the clan.
I didn’t see it back then, but I do now. It was all deliberate.
But why? Why us?
Amri’s question pokes my brain like an embedded thorn. Who was my sire and is there a link to all this? Or are my brothers and I just that unlucky to have caught the unwavering narcissistic eye of our goddess?
My shifter sight quickly adjusts as I step out of the bright sunlight and into the stone and wood building.
A few shifters pause as I enter, but others move about, ignoring me so completely, it’s obviously on purpose.
I only take a few steps inside before stopping.
I clasp my hands behind my back and clear my throat. A few heads turn my way, but not all.
Annoying.
A deep growl rumbles from my chest, ending with a sharp, predatory bark. Now all eyes are on me, but I can’t help but notice there aren’t as many hunters here as I expected.
I let my gaze settle on the middle distance, not making eye contact with anyone as I ask, “Any progress on the hunt for my brothers?”
Leonora sent me here to ask this specific question. Could she find out through the Zodiac mind-speak? Of course. Could she have summoned any of these hunters and asked them herself? Yes. But she enjoys putting me in my place, so here I am.
A hunter to my right opens his mouth, but another directly in front of me cuts him off and says, “There is a team out right now. We haven’t heard back from them, but they haven’t been gone long.
” They sweep their hand to their left, indicating a group of six hunters, all masked, in different states of dress as if they were in the middle of gearing up when I came in. “They are heading out now.”
Bran and Liam are in the group, both shifters who have aided me in the past, but so is Wynn.
I know she hates me; I can feel her glare through her tiger mask.
And Ethan is in the group too. He lost his partner, Asha, who was one of the three who tried to kill Rian when he didn’t have his magic or his beast to defend himself.
Leonora killed Asha for daring to harm one of her favorite pets, and I know Ethan will carry the scar of Asha’s death for a long time, if not forever.
I often wondered if they were mates, unable to claim each other under the watchful eye of our goddess.
Liam pulls up his pants, fastening them, and as Bran slides his mask over his face, Liam says, “We’re headed to Indonesia.”
Ethan scowls at Liam, but Liam ignores him as he tugs his tight-fitting shirt over his head.
I appreciate the slip of information. Now I know Leonora is already sending out raids to our houses.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask where the other team currently is, but I don’t.
I just hope that Askari is able to get to my family before the hunters do.
But hope is a dangerous thing.
Ethan grins, realizing he has the chance to strike at me. He sneers as he says, “And a third party is leaving right after us. We all have orders to do whatever is necessary to find Rian and Bodi.”
Another shifter in the group, Veronica, comes to Ethan’s side, her mask already in place, but I hear her smile in her voice as she says, “Our exact orders were, ‘as long as you don’t get caught by the Council, do whatever it takes.’”
A few hunters around the room chuckle, but I ignore them, focusing instead on those who remain silent, going about their tasks.
Some say silence sides with the oppressor, and yes, that’s true.
But right now, I don’t care. I’m encouraged by those who don’t join in—their silence quietly letting me know they are not okay with the status quo.
Will they be able to call up the courage to stand up and act one day?
I don’t know. But right now, they are doing enough.
I don’t need or even want them to rally at every slight thrown against me.
I don’t need more blood on my hands. What I do need, and hope for, is that if they do find my brothers and their mates, the silent ones will do what they can to help in that moment.
Keeping my face blank, I nod at Ethan, holding his gaze as I say, “Well then, happy hunting.” Ethan tsks , obviously annoyed that I didn’t rise to his barb. As I turn to leave, I call over my shoulder, “I’ll let our goddess know, and I’m sure she’ll want an update as the teams return.”
Veronica snides, “Yeah, we’ll do that.”
As soon as I step back into the sunlight, I lift my head, soaking in the warmth.
I slow my pace, wasting as much time as I dare before returning to Leonora’s side.
Like any self-respecting feline, I love a good nap in the sun, but I honestly can’t remember the last time I had the chance to indulge myself like that.
My beast yawns at the idea of a nap. “Napping in a sun puddle with Amri would be nice.”
I smile at him, liking that idea, but saying, “How do you know? Maybe she’s a kicker in her sleep. Or a talker.”
“Meh. I think it would still be nice.”
I give him a playful mental nudge as I say, “How can you be so smitten with her? We’ve only talked to her twice; a mere handful of minutes.”
“True, but so far, we like what we’ve seen.
She’s an enforcer, so she’s strong, smart, and trustworthy.
We know she has a kind heart under that sass because she’s been keeping an eye on our brothers.
Annnd, she didn’t try to hold on to the fate bond.
She let us go. And I agree with your suspicion …
that she let go of the threads because she knew that’s what we needed.
Yet, even after our rejection, she stuck around. That says a lot about who she is.”
“Yeah. That she’s insane.”
My beast huffs, “Well, she’d have to be crazy to love us.”
I stop in my tracks, the palace windows gleaming to my left, a long stretch of grass to my right. A warm breeze flutters my hair across my back.
Love? In all the chaos of the fate threads appearing, and me rejecting the bond, it never crossed my mind that I was rejecting …
love. What I felt for Amri in that moment when our threads first touched was lust. Strong and insistent, but just lust. I’ve experienced that emotion often enough to know exactly what I was feeling.
But love?
Could Amri have grown to love me? Like real, true love? And could I have …?
My beast shakes his head at me. “Idiot. Didn’t you see the love between your brothers and their mates? Of course, that is where the bond could have led us.”
I shake off the shiver of hope that steals down my spine as I say, “Leonora would never have allowed it. She would have sensed the bond, discovered Amri, giving her the grounds to kill her for spying in her palace.”
“So, you rejected her to protect her?”
I pick back up my slow strides leading me around the back of the palace, taking the longest route I can back to Leonora. “Partially, I suppose. But you know the real reason I let her go.”
My panther sits, curling his tail around his front paws, hanging his head with the truth. “Our heart couldn’t take it if we opened ourselves to love and then lost it. If we fell in love with Amri and Leonora killed her, we wouldn’t survive that.”
I nearly rip the heavy metal and glass door off its hinges as I step into the palace. My voice is hoarse with emotion as I acknowledge that truth. “No, we wouldn’t.”
I keep my pace slow but steady as I pass the empty kitchen. As I approach a T-junction in the hallway, the scent of smoke overpowers my senses. I move faster as I turn the corner …
“Askari!”
I grab his shoulders to keep him from toppling as I nearly run him over. He’s covered in soot, and part of his shirt is scorched, exposing blistered skin over his side. Leonora’s still not letting him heal. Fuck!
I dip my head to look him in the eyes, relieved when I see they are clear, no unfocused daze or blown pupils. I don’t let him go though as I ask, “What happened?”
He begins to speak, but doubles over with a coughing fit.
I rub his back, keeping hold of one shoulder.
When he finally stands back up, he swallows and says, “They’re fine.
Rian’s place was already ablaze, but I slipped in without the hunters seeing me.
The witches had an air bubble around everyone inside, and Alexandros was working on a portal spell as your brothers held up a barrier spell to keep the hunters out.
” He coughs again before continuing. “There wasn’t much time for chitchat before they portaled out and the roof collapsed, so I don’t know where they went, but—” Another round of hacking coughs doubles him over before he catches his breath and says, “The protection spell is obviously broken, and the alignment of the stars necessary to cast it again won’t happen for a while.
It won’t be too difficult for anyone to find and track them. Fuck! I’m sorry, Alpha.”
I yank him into a hug, holding him a bit too tightly. “Damn it, Kar. I’m sorry.”
His touch feels hesitant as he wraps his arms around me, but after a second, he sinks into the hug and purrs. I return his purr with a stronger one of my own, wishing I could heal him.
“Alpha?” I don’t pull away at his question, but I realize I’m crying into his smoke-drenched hair.
I speak against the top of his head. “The thought of losing you is terrifying. I …”
My panther nudges, whispering to me, “Be brave. Be honest.”
I take a deep breath and slip into Askari’s mind. “I cherish your loyalty, but it’s brought you into danger time and time again. And it’s only getting worse … it will get worse. I ? —”
Askari nuzzles my chest with a soft chuckle that turns into a wheezing cough before he says, “You’re going to have to get used to it, Alpha. That is what a beta does. It’s what I do. I’m happiest when I can take care of you.”
My purr deepens, and I run my fingers through his hair. “But I’m not able to do what an alpha is supposed to do for their beta. I can’t protect you. I can’t claim you. Why do you bother with me, Askari?”
Defeat tries to smother the ember of anger inside me, but I hold onto it. I can’t let my anger snuff out. I can’t let the despair win, but … I’m just so tired.
Askari steps out of our hug, but clasps my shoulders, looking up at me with an intensity that makes me think his lion is very close to the surface. “I bother because you’re my alpha.”
“It’s not that simple, Askari.”
“It really is, Alpha.”
My panther butts his head against my sternum. “He’s right.”
I press a hand to my heart and the other to his chest as I hold eye contact with my beta.
“You are the only reason I’ve had the strength to …
go on.” He starts to shake his head, but I cut him off with a sharp bark.
“No. I’m serious. You are my light in this dark place.
You’ve never left me, Askari, and I can’t express how much that has meant to me. ”
Askari frowns. “Your brothers didn’t have a choice. I’m sure they would have?—”
“Yes, I sent them away. I’ll always do what I can to protect them, but … having you by my side saved my life.”
What I don’t admit is how disappointed I was at being left behind, then I was miserable, then resentful, and now … I don’t want to hate my brothers, but … that’s the ugly truth of who I’ve become.
“Alpha. This entire situation is shit. Please allow yourself some grace. You’re a good male.” He winks, trying to bring some levity to our heavy conversation. “I wouldn’t have chosen you otherwise.”
His words echo Amri’s, and for a moment, I’m humbled by the strength of those who haven’t given up on me.
My fingers curl into his scorched and soot-stained shirt, right over his heart as I say, “I promise you, Askari, I will claim you one day. I’d be more than honored to have you as my beta.
And I pray to the stars that I’ll be a good alpha to you. ”
His eyes shimmer as tears pool in their depths, and his hand covers mine, holding me against his chest.
“I look forward to it, Alpha.”