Chapter 4
Raven tapped her foot as she waited, her mind racing with questions. Had he liked any of the women she’d introduced him to? Would he…?
“Sorry I’m late,” Tim said as he walked up to the table.
Raven stiffened, shocked to find herself staring at his broad shoulders. And her eyes watched as he held his tie in place as he sat down. That drew her eyes to his flat stomach. Were there muscles there as well as the ones packed onto his arms? Were his legs as strong as those arms?
Despite all of her admonishments that Tim Armstrong wasn’t the one for her, Raven wanted to know more about this enigmatic man. She craved details more than she’d ever wanted chocolate.
“Not a problem,” she replied, needlessly adjusting the perfectly aligned knives and forks beside her plate. “I only arrived a moment ago.”
“Good.” He lifted the menu and flipped to the other side. He was going for a steak, she thought, watching Tim’s facial features. His eyes skimmed down over the menu too fast to actually read anything. And yet, Raven had the impression that he’d absorbed every detail on the menu.
The waitress arrived and, with a smile, greeted both of them. “Hello, my name is Mindy. What can I get you to drink?”
“I’ll have an iced tea,” Raven decided.
“Water is fine with me,” Tim said. He looked at Raven. “I know what I want to eat. Are you ready to order?”
For some reason, she wanted to snap at him. It was a reasonable question though, so she suppressed her irritation and nodded her head. “I’ll have the cheeseburger with pepperjack cheese, please.”
The waitress grinned, nodding her head and then turned to Tim. “And for you sir?”
Tim handed her the menu. “I’ll have the salmon salad, with no dressing. Just oil and vinegar on the side, please.”
The waitress’ smile dimmed somewhat, but she nodded and took both menus. “I’ll get those out to you as quickly as possible.”
And then she was gone. Raven realized that she needed the waitress as a buffer against Tim’s potent masculinity. What was it about him that both lured her to him and made her want to slap his face?
“So, the women were all duds,” he announced abruptly.
Raven blinked at him, confused. It took her several moments to realize that he was talking about the women she’d set him up with. The five women she’d carefully curated from a long list of beautiful, intelligent, eligible women.
“All five of them are…duds?” she echoed, needing clarification.
“All of them,” he confirmed, leaning back in his chair as he gazed across the table at her.
Stiffening, she tried to calm her rising temper. And was that…relief? No! Impossible! She was a professional and her reputation was on the line. She’d completely failed Tim during the first round of dates. That had never happened before. Her clients always liked at least one of the candidates, usually more. After that, it was more about whittling down one’s preferences.
Lifting her chin, she swallowed her pride. “I’m so sorry that I completely missed the mark on what you are looking for. What was wrong with the women?” she asked, pulling her notebook out and grabbing a pen.
The man shrugged. “Nothing was wrong with them. They were all lovely.” He leaned back when the waitress came back with Raven’s iced tea, then leaned forward when they were alone again. “I just…there were no sparks with any of them.”
“Nothing at all?” she queried. “But the women were all along the same lines as the women you’ve dated in the past.”
“Indra Clementi was the only woman that really piqued my interest, but,” Raven held her breath, “I hired her on as Larmpo’s legal representative. She’s very sharp. I think she’ll be an excellent legal mind for us.”
Raven relaxed and prayed that Tim didn’t notice her previous tension. “Okay, so at least she’s a good hire. What was wrong with Lavinda?”
“Too stiff and formal.”
“But…!” she shook her head. “Lavinda is a chemist. What was wrong with her?”
“She was boring,” he replied.
Raven tried not to blink in surprise at that response. But she wrote it down and continued through the other candidates. “And Marsha?”
“Mean. And she had five cats.”
“Five?” she asked, then laughed, quickly covering her mouth with her hand. “Sorry. That was unprofessional.” She wrote that down, shaking her head. “She told me that she was allergic to animals.”
“She lied,” Tim replied, leaning back in his chair and she noticed that his mouth curled up on the corners slightly.
“Okay, well, I’m sorry about the last batch of ladies. Obviously, I didn’t do a good enough job on finding someone to meet your criteria.”
“You didn’t do a bad job,” he replied, leaning forward. “Actually, all of them, other than Marsha and her cats, met every one of my criteria.” He shrugged. “I think that my criteria were off. I guess I don’t really know what I want from a woman,” he continued. “Bailey and Matteo sprung this whole…gift of your services on me one morning and I met with you only hours after they told me what they’d done. I hadn’t had a chance to really process the idea of…well, of being partnered up with someone. That wasn’t fair to you, Raven.”
She sighed with relief at his understanding. “Okay, fair enough. I didn’t give you enough time to–,” she paused when the waitress arrived with their food. “I’m starving!” she whispered, smiling at the waitress as she set the large plate in front of her. “This looks wonderful!” Raven told the woman. “Thank you!”
The plate was filled with a large burger and a huge mound of fries. There was no way Raven could eat all of the fries, but she was going to make a pretty good dent in them!
After she’d taken a bite, Raven set her burger down, and carefully selected a fry, dipping it in a combination of ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard. Before taking a bite, she looked over at him, the fry hovering in the air. “Okay, so tell me what you learned while taking each of the ladies out for dinner. What new insights did you gain?”
He eyed her plate of fries, then at his own healthy, vegetable salad with a serving of broiled salmon on top. For a moment, he hesitated, but then determinedly dug into his salad.
“I don’t know if I came to any bright revelations,” he said, watching as she cut her burger in half, then took another big bite. “Although, now that you, Bailey and Matteo put the idea into my head, I’m on board with finding a significant other.”
She hesitated, then started chewing again. Carefully, she wiped her mouth before saying, “You’re looking for a wife, correct? You want a commitment to one woman to go along with raising children?”
“Of course.” He cut another bite of his salmon and added several vegetables and a bit of lettuce onto his fork, stared at it for a long moment, then glanced at Raven’s fries again. With a small shake of his head, he explained, “The term ‘significant other’ is simply a benign way to refer to someone more significant than a mere sexual partner. I wasn’t trying to escape from the idea of a long term relationship. You and my friends have convinced me that I’m ready for a committed relationship. Therefore, if you find a woman that I find attractive in ways that entice me more than just in a sexual way, then I am prepared to marry.” He pointed his fork at her, “With a prenup.”
She lifted one finger while the others wrapped hungrily around her burger. “Don’t get too romantic on me, Tim,” she joked. “However, I’m pleased that you’ve gotten on board.” Her sarcastic tone made him chuckle. “As for a prenup, that goes without saying. Every candidate I present to you is interviewed prior to meeting you. By the time I present any candidate to you, she has already agreed to sign a prenup.”
“Good.” He stabbed another bite of salmon, adding more veggies. He glanced at her fries again, then dunked his salmon in the red wine vinegar. “I want someone softer,” he blurted out. “The women you sent me were exactly what I asked for, but after talking with them, I realized something important.”
“What’s that?” she asked, dumping several fries on the side of his plate.
Startled, Tim stared at the fries for a long moment, then looked up at her. “I don’t need the fries,” he told her.
She smiled at him, then bit off the end of a fry that was covered in her three-condiment mix. “I know you don’t need the fries.” She paused, lowering her voice. “But you want them.” Her grin was mischievous now. “Don’tcha?”
He rolled his eyes and took another bite of his salmon, ignoring the fries. “The women you sent were exactly what I previously would have thought I’d want in a wife, until I started to seriously think about marrying.” He stabbed a broccoli floret, then glanced at the fries. Ignoring the temptation, he waved the fork with the stabbed broccoli towards her to make his point. “I was wrong and I apologize. Once I met the women you interviewed for me, I quickly grasped that they were well educated in a variety of subjects, but…,” he paused now, thinking about how to explain. Finally, he shook his head. “It was like talking to a co-worker. There was zero chemistry.”
“That happens,” Raven nodded, accepting his answer as well as his apology for the incorrect direction of his preferences. “But don’t become discouraged after the first round. Sometimes, it takes a bit of back and forth to narrow down exactly what you’re looking for. As you talk to the women I introduce to you, you’ll start to know what you don’t want. Which is just as important as knowing what you do wantin a partner.” Then she lifted her burger, examining it to determine which area would give her the next perfect bite.
He waved his fork in the air. “It’s not as if the relationship would be permanent.”
She stopped mid-bite, staring at him. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged and stabbed a fry, dipping it in the glob of ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise she’d mixed up on her plate. “I mean, a relationship only needs to last as long as the children are in the home, doesn’t it?”
“No,” she snapped, and slapped his hand when he started to steal another fry – one that was perfectly crispy – from her plate instead of taking the fries she’d given him. The slap didn’t discourage him. In fact, he used his fork to hold her at bay so that he could dunk his fry. “Relationships last as long as there are feelings between the participants of the relationship.”
He held his pilfered fry in the air as he gazed back at her with confusion. “Why would you stay with someone once the primary reason for the marriage is over?”
She glared at him and took another bite of her burger. After chewing and swallowing, she asked, “You mean the love and companionship of the two people involved?”
He lifted his hand and the waitress immediately came over. “Can we get another basket of fries with more condiments, please?”
The waitress grinned and nodded. “Absolutely, sir. I’ll get that right out for you.”
Tim pushed the remnants of his salad out of the way and focused on stealing her fries. “Why do you continue to focus on the emotional side of a marriage? A relationship based on mutual respect and a desire to provide a solid, safe home for offspring sounds like a much more rational basis for a marriage.”
She rolled her eyes. “That ‘emotional side’ is what keeps women from stabbing men in the back when they steal too many fries!” she grumbled. But she didn’t stop him when he took yet another fry. She started to mix up more of the condiments since he was stealing that too. “It’s also the reason we put up with all of men’s stupidity.”
“What stupidity do men bring to the table that isn’t mirrored in women’s actions?”
She pointed a fry at him, pausing when the waitress brought an obscenely large basket of seasoned fries. “Have you heard about weaponized incompetence?”
He took one of the new batch of fries, but at her words, paused and looked at her. “No. what’s that?”
“He-peating?” she queried.
He blinked, frozen for a long moment. Then he shook his head dismissively. “You made that one up,” Tim accused.
Raven chuckled at his derisive tone. “Nope.” She watched as the waitress walked by with a giant piece of chocolate cake dripping with chocolate syrup and chocolate whipped cream. “Oh my!” she whispered, reverence in her tone.
Tim snapped his fingers, bringing her attention back to him. “What’s weaponized incompetence?”
Raven licked her lips, then stared down at her half-eaten burger. Another snapping sound and she looked up, glaring at him. “Do that again and I’ll break your fingers.”
He chuckled and stole another fry. “You might have scared me more if you’d threatened my fries.”
The waitress walked by and he lifted his hand. “Is everything okay?”
Tim nodded and nearly laughed out loud when Raven, the adorable vixen, angled her head to gaze at the enormous slab of chocolate cake that a family of four was now devouring. She was going to ignore her desire, he thought. And that would be a shame. “We’re going to need a piece of whatever that is,” he said, jabbing his thumb behind him.
The waitress turned her head, then smiled. “That’s the chocolate decadence dessert.” She stuffed her hands into her apron and nodded. “I’ll get that right out for you.”
Raven lifted her hand, prepared to stop the waitress, but the woman was already gone, heading towards the kitchen. It was a half-hearted effort anyway. She wanted that chocolate cake! She didn’t delve into the reason for her food obsession today. If she were to consider the reasons, it might have something to do with the man sitting across from her and his drool-worthy shoulders.
However, today was not a day to understand one’s motives. Today was a day to be decadent.
“Oh my!” she whispered when the waitress brought the towering chocolate cake to their table with two spoons.
She glanced at the second spoon, her eyes wide. “I thought you were trying to be healthy?”
He rolled his eyes and took the spoon, diving into the mousse-like cake. “Eating dinner with you is not conducive to restraint.”
She grinned and took the cherry on top. “Not today!” she exclaimed, then closed her eyes as she savored the sweet cherry.
“So, what’s weaponized incompetence?” he demanded, pushing her spoon out of the way when she tried to hog the chocolate whipped cream.
“It’s when a man asks his spouse how to do something, such as the laundry, and pretends that he can’t figure it out. He asks so many questions that she just gives up and does it herself. Or he does the task so badly that she just does it herself because it’s too frustrating to ask him to help. It’s manipulative and hurtful to the relationship.”
“You don’t think women do that as well?”
She nodded. “Of course women do it. I hated mowing the grass as a kid. So, if I ever get married…”
“If?” he interrupted. “You don’t plan on getting married?”
She shrugged and took another bite of the chocolate cake. “I guess I will. But right now, my career is more important than finding someone to share my life with. I believe that a person needs to be a whole person before they can invite someone else into their lives.”
He grunted in response, then took another bite of the chocolate cake, adding chocolate syrup. “Fine. Finish your explanation about mowing the grass. What does that have to do with weaponized incompetence.”
She grinned and shrugged one shoulder. “As a kid, I had to mow the grass during the summer months. I hate the heat and the mosquitoes and all the bugs.” She stole his scoop of chocolate syrup because he was hogging it. He merely stole it back and held her hand down, causing her to laugh.
“Keep explaining, woman,” he ordered, releasing her hand and taking another bite.
“Well, my father wanted me and my brother to mow the grass with clean, straight lines. But since I hated mowing, I’d zigzag across my portion of the yard, making the lines look blurred and messy.”
He stopped eating the chocolate cake, staring at her in horror. “That should be considered one of the original sins, Raven,” he told her with a manly, serious expression.
She laughed, mostly because he was absolutely serious. “I take it that you prefer neat, clean lines in your lawn as well?’
“Absolutely! It’s in the man code. And if any of the male neighbors spotted a messy lawn…,” he stopped, unable to speak of such insanity. “Just…!” Again, he shook his head. “You are a menace!”
A shrug was her only response. “You’re making my point. I did such a horrible job that my father stopped making me mow the grass. He gave me other chores to do, which were fine with me. But that’s weaponized incompetence. I was perfectly capable of mowing the grass. Just as men are perfectly capable of doing laundry, vacuuming the carpets, fixing dinners, and all the other stuff that mothers typically take charge of. But men let the women do it, and the women can’t release the task, because their husbands, some husbands, purposely try to mess it up, either consciously or unconsciously. It becomes easier just to do it themselves.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever done that to a woman,” Tim asserted, then pushed the last bite of the chocolate cake towards her.
Raven scooped up the bite with a happy sigh. But before she put it into her mouth, she pointed the spoon towards him. “That’s probably because you’ve never been in a serious relationship.”
Tim leaned forward and stole the last bite from the offending spoon, a smug expression on his face. “It’s probably because I hire someone to do all of the tasks that might fit into that category.”
Raven tried to be offended by his theft, but she was too full as well as too buzzed on chocolate and carbs. So instead of being upset, she leaned back in her chair. At this point, after half a burger, an impressive number of fries and the massive piece of chocolate cake, she couldn’t even cross her arms over her chest for fear of putting too much pressure on her over-stuffed stomach.
“That’s another possible reason. So, you’re an untried man in relationships.” She nodded as if assessing that piece of information. “I’ll add that to my list.”
“Can I see your list?”
“Why?” she asked, pulling out her wallet to pay for the meal. It was a business expense and… She stopped when he dropped cash on the table. It was more than enough to cover their meal and a large tip for the waitress.
Raven stared at the money, stunned by his generosity. And her heart pounded against her ribs. A test she had for the goodness of humanity is how they treated retail and restaurant workers. A dollar or two wouldn’t hurt most people, but it could make a huge difference in another person’s life.
Tim was overly generous. “That’s nearly a fifty percent tip, Tim,” she cautioned, staring up at him, unaware of the awe in her expression.
He shrugged and put a hand to her arm. “I have a ridiculous amount of wealth at my disposal.” He nodded towards the waitress who was helping customers at a nearby table. “Our waitress is probably working two jobs and going to college. I won’t even miss the extra ten dollars, but it might give her a bit of breathing room for a day or two.”
Raven felt as if her mouth was hanging open at his words. She was so stunned, she actually let him guide her out of the restaurant. That was wonderful insight and such a generous response to a stranger.
“This is my car,” she told him when they started to walk by her conservative sedan.
He glanced at the car, then at her, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “So, what’s next?” he asked.
She looked up at him, trying to concentrate on something other than his mouth. Raven definitely wanted to know what it would be like to kiss this man.
But he was her client! And good grief, what in the world was she thinking?!
“Um…,” she blinked, trying to remember the next steps.
Before she could react, a car turned and its tires squealed on the concrete floor of the parking garage. The sound was so abrupt, it startled Raven and she jumped.
Right into Tim’s arms.
Raven wasn’t sure if she moved forward or he did, but as the offending car drove past, she slowly looked up, staring at the man with arms that were even more muscular than she’d suspected. Her fingers gripped his biceps, feeling the muscles rippling underneath his suit jacket.
And why hadn’t she noticed those flecks of gold in his blue eyes before now?
Suddenly, his head was lowering and Raven knew in that instant that he was going to kiss her. And it was going to be…!
She gasped when his lips touched hers. The unexpected heat and the spark of electricity that burned through her, coiling low in her belly, was shocking! Instead of pulling away, Raven leaned in closer, pressing herself against his hard, powerful body. She felt light-headed and on fire. Those sensations should cancel each other out, but instead, they enflamed her desire for this man.
Tim’s lips moved over hers, lightly at first, testing her reaction. When she didn’t pull away, didn’t back up and slap him, he deepened the kiss, pulling her more perfectly against him. She was so damn soft! Tim felt as if every curve of her body fit against his perfectly. He wanted to run his hands down those soft curves, to explore and learn every inch of her. Her lips were intoxicating. She was like a drug and he couldn’t seem to stop!
Someone moaned and he wasn’t sure which of them had made the sound, nor did he care. Pulling her in closer, he shifted his lips, wanting more of her. Needing to imprint himself on this woman and ensure that she never…never…! He couldn’t think of what he didn’t want her to do. All he knew was that he wanted more.
A group of women came around the corner of the parking garage, laughing loudly, which broke through to their desire-muddled minds.
Still, he kept her in his arms, staring down at her, both of them breathing heavily. The sound of her gasp was like a dash of cold water, immediately cooling his raging libido.
“That was…,” he paused, trying to come up with the words to describe what had just happened.
“Chocolate and carbs,” she blurted.
For a long moment, he didn’t understand what the hell Raven was talking about. What the hell did chocolate and carbs have to do with that shockingly enticing kiss? A kiss that he wanted to do again! Hell, he wanted to pull her closer and show her exactly what that kiss had done to him! He didn’t bother looking down, didn’t need to in order to know that his body had reacted as expected to such a heady embrace.
Instead, he stepped back, forcing his body back under his mind’s control. “Of course. That was just the chocolate. And the carbs.” He said the words as if they both needed to justify what had happened. And yet, he didn’t understand what had happened. He didn’t like Raven in that way.
Did he?
No, they were opposites in every way. Her psychology based career wasn’t based in logic. It was too soft and gushy for real science. While his world revolved around logic and repeatable experiments to test out the accuracy of any hypothesis, ensuring that the exact same result was achieved every time.
So, what had just happened? An experiment?
Yes, that probably made sense.
“Right. Too many carbs and too much sugar, not to mention, the chocolate, was the result of…that…what just happened.” She spoke and stepped back at the same time.
Tim heard her words and his anger increased. Why was she stammering? Why couldn’t she get the words out? And what the hell was she saying? Chocolate didn’t make one kiss someone! The very thought was insane!
Stepping back, Tim shoved his hands into his pockets and stared at her, trying to contain his frustration. It was just a damn kiss!
“Exactly,” he lied. “We can pretend that was an experiment.”
She blinked up at him and…was that a flash of pain? Had he hurt her? But why? Wasn’t he simply agreeing with her comment?
“I should get back to work,” Raven mumbled and turned, fumbling with her keys. Thankfully, the lock popped and her car door opened quickly and she was able to slide inside. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to take a breath because Tim-the-Emotionless-Ogre stood there, watching her as if he had to ensure she drove away safely.