CHAPTER 22
Neither of us said anything on the way back. The rain had softened to a mist, clinging to our clothes and hair with the weight of everything we had just said, or couldn’t in my case. I paused with my hand on the door, turning to her under the flickering outside light.
“Before we go in…” I said, “Squeeks is here.”
Misfit’s eyes flicked up to mine, “Why?” Her voice quizzical.
“She showed up after a blow-up with Danny. She needed a place to stay, and well, I couldn’t exactly say no.” Misfit nodded slowly.
I pushed the door open. The soft hum of the fridge and the faint scent of bleach lingered in the air.
That was Squeeks. When everything cracked, she got to work glueing the pieces back together.
The place looked spotless. Even better than when Chester lived here, but that just filled me with heavy guilt.
I completely trashed this place and then fucked off at a time she needed someone.
Too wrapped up in my own shit yet again to notice my sister wanted her big brother.
As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I spotted her curled up on the sofa.
One arm tucked under her head, the blanket from the bedroom draped over her slight figure.
I held the door open as Misfit crept inside, closing it carefully to avoid waking Squeeks.
I gently caught her arm and nodded towards the bedroom with a tilt of my chin before leading the way.
We moved silently past Squeeks, her breathing soft and steady.
Inside the bedroom, I closed the door behind us, leaning my forehead against it as my shoulders dropped.
Misfit had already crossed the room, stripping off her soaked jacket and kicking off her boots.
I peeled off my drenched shirt, dropping it to the floor as I searched for a towel.
Goose bumps rippled over my skin as water dripped from my hair down my body.
I glanced at Misfit holding her arms out slightly from her damp clothes, with an evident discomfort on her face.
I smirked at her as I dried my hair, “They're where you left them.” She looked to me confused. My hand gesturing to the door, “My clothes, the ones you wore last time you were here. They’re still in the bathroom.” She nodded quickly, heading for the door.
A flash of a cocky comment entered my mind, but luckily for me, my brain-to-mouth filter was very much working. Surprising even to me.
After she left the room, I got to removing the rest of my soaked clothes, my jeans sticking to my skin.
A pair of loose-fitting joggers was a welcome feeling after the wet night we had endured.
My body shuddered as I searched the floor for my favourite black hoodie.
I glanced up as Misfit re-entered, closing the door behind her.
Holding her arms tightly around her visibly cold body, her damp hair now loosely tied back, with a few tendrils dropping on either side of her face.
Her skin looked paler somehow. I figured it was the cold getting to her, as the heating in this place was non-existent.
I offered her a half smile as I shifted a pile of clothes with my foot, revealing my hoodie.
I picked it up, hesitating with it in my hand before throwing it in Misfits' direction. “Put it on, it will keep you warm.”
She caught it, looking to me with questioning eyes. I raised my eyebrows to her, “If you don’t want it, I’ll take it back.” Reaching out towards her, she shifted back slightly, gripping it tighter to her chest.
“I didn’t say that.” I scoffed as I turned, looking for something else to wear. She shifted herself over to the bed, tucking her legs up towards her chest as I pulled a t-shirt over my head.
“Screech…Who’s Selene?” I froze in place.
Fuck! This chick doesn’t miss anything, regret flaring inside me at my earlier episode of trauma dumping.
I didn’t turn around; she would spot my shifty expression straight away.
But I needed to answer quickly, no hesitation.
I ran a hand through my hair, buying seconds.
I shouldn’t have said her fucking name. I forced a short breath through my nose, “Selene? Just someone I used to know. Old shit.” I kept my voice light and casual, like the name hadn’t just triggered a minefield in my head.
“She was part of a crew I ran with. Nothing serious.”
I heard the faint creak of the mattress as she moved, still watching me. I raised the towel and wiped the back of my neck, trying to keep moving so she wouldn’t see the deception on my face.
“You talk like it was more than that,” she said quietly. I smiled or tried to.
“Yeah, well. I talk a lotta shit when I’m pissed off and soaking wet. Don’t read into it.” Delivering it as smoothly as I could manage. I turned, finally meeting her eyes, throwing on a tight grin.
Hers narrowed as she studied my face, “You’re a terrible liar.”
I scoffed, “I’m not lying,” retaining my best fake upbeat tone.
“You said something else,” she continued, pressing me further. “Out there. When you were…unravelling.” I raised an eyebrow, feigning ignorance.
“I said a lot of things.”
“No.” Her eyes pinned me in place. “You said you were bought. That someone bought you. What did you mean by that?” My jaw tensed before I could stop it. Another fucking slip.
I looked away, “Does it matter?” I said, “Half the shit I said was just adrenaline and alcohol. Don’t go digging into it.” I could feel her annoyance starting to radiate at my uncooperative answers.
“You're hiding shit again, Screech.” I forced out a long sigh.
“It meant I made some deals I shouldn’t have. Took offers when I didn’t have a lot of options. We all do it.” I offered a crooked smile, one that felt more like a grimace.
“That’s not what it sounded like. Was it with Selene?” she asked.
“Look,” I said, my voice quieter but firmer. “You’ve got your past, I’ve got mine. Mine’s not clean. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Worked for people I shouldn’t have. Let myself become someone else’s to survive. That’s what I meant by bought.”
She didn’t respond at first, and for a second, I thought maybe she’d let it go. Then she sat up straighter on the bed, her voice a little colder now.
“Did she hurt you?” At this point, I questioned if she was looking for any similarity in our pasts. But I wasn’t ready. I don’t think I will ever be ready to expose that part of myself.
“No.” Another blatant lie.
Thoughts flashed in my mind of when I first met Selene.
I was fourteen, dumped on her doorstep with nothing but a “Do as you're told” by Danny. When I stepped into her place the first time, it wasn’t like I imagined.
It almost had a sterile feel, like emotions didn’t belong there.
She was sitting perfectly still in a chair too large for her frame, legs crossed, chin tilted like she’d been expecting me long before I ever arrived.
Eyes the colour of storm-wrecked skies. Calm and patient, with an odd warmth to her mannerisms. Every time I saw her after that, she peeled something off me.
A layer of innocence.
A piece of doubt.
A truth I thought I still had the right to hold onto.
It wasn’t always pain. Sometimes it was worse than that.
She’d touch my cheek like I was her favourite and whisper in my ear like a mother consoling a child.
And then she’d remind me what she could take from me if I ever forgot who I belonged to.
By the time I was fifteen, I didn’t know who I was when I wasn’t in her presence.
Or what parts of me were mine anymore. Until Juvie, that is.
I thought I’d broken the chains that I could somehow return the favour with interest. Didn’t take her long to turn the tables back again.
That fucking car, her perfume permanently soaked into my senses. It made me sick.
I shook my head, walking over to the bed as Misfit's eyes followed me.
I clutched the bottle of vodka from the nightstand and slumped my body down next to her.
My head leaned back against the wall. I could see the cogs turning in her mind as she watched me take a long draw from the bottle, baring teeth at the burn.
I wanted us to move from the subject; my walls were up on the topic. Tall and unshifting.
“So, got your music with you?” My lips pressed together as she stayed quiet. “Hello, earth to misfit?” I waved my hand in front of her face.
“Your nose flares when you lie by the way,” I couldn’t help the chuckle that came from me at her statement.
“Noted.”
Her fingers toyed with the edge of my hoodie; the sleeves swallowed halfway over her hands.
She looked like she was trying to make herself smaller, disappear into the fabric.
She shifted to her jacket, pulling out her earbuds from her soaked pocket, a heavy thud as it fell back to the floor.
She reached across, handing one to me and placing the other in her ear, the tiny plastic shape glinting in the low light.
“Didn’t think you’d want to listen to my sad girl playlist,” she said.
“Sounds like exactly the vibe we’ve got going on right now.”
She gave me a look, that signature Misfit deadpan glance with just a hint of mockery under it.
“You don’t get to call it sad when you’ve just trauma-dumped and slammed vodka like it’s holy water.” I tilted my head, smiling.
“Fair.”
I stood up briefly, walked over to the switch, and clicked off the light. Darkness wrapped around the room like a blanket. The kind that left just the outline of things, soft breaths, and the faint city hum beyond the windows.
I slipped back into bed beside her, careful not to brush too close.
The mattress dipped under my weight as I leaned back against the wall again, stretching my legs out in front of me.
She turned onto her side, back to me. I stayed still, watching the way the fabric of the hoodie shifted with her movements, the way her shoulders slowly eased into the mattress.