CHAPTER 26
Icouldn’t take much more of this, the not knowing, the paranoia sitting behind my eyes.
I needed it to stop. I needed out of my own fucking skin.
The walls of the flat felt too tight. Every surface reminded me of her and the way she looked at me when she lied through her teeth like it cost her nothing.
That calm, blank face, while the truth that I knew was there, bled underneath.
The voice returned, harshly rattling around my brain, repeating the same words.
His tone was getting deeper with each passing hour as I attempted to ignore him.
“She's a liar!”
I needed it to stop, I needed him to stop. I left the flat, walking straight past the car towards somewhere I didn’t think I ever wanted to set foot inside again—Danny’s.
I knew he wouldn’t be home. Thursday night meant pub and poker with that scumbag lot he ran with.
He wouldn’t be back until late, if at all.
I didn’t knock, just used the key he didn’t know I still had.
The door clicked open as I barged into it with my shoulder.
The place hadn’t changed one bit; it was dark and stale, with the scent of old weed and leftover Chinese food.
The moment I stepped in, it was like I was breathing easier already. This was the kind of poison I understood, the kind of poison which oddly grounded me.
No surprise that mum was out, and Squeeks too. The place was mine for the taking. I moved, heading straight into his bedroom. Third drawer down on his bedside table, taped under the base. He always thought he was clever hiding it there, his own personal stash.
The small metal tin felt cool against my fingertips.
I let out a satisfied snicker as I pried it loose, flipping the lid open and staring at the contents for a moment.
Two neat baggies. One with white powder.
The other with little blue pills that looked deceptively innocent.
A smirk appeared on my lips as I didn’t hesitate to help myself.
I crushed a line on the cracked glass of Danny’s bedside table, using the back of my bank card to shape it.
Rolled a note within my fingers and sniffed, hard.
The hit came sharp and hot, tearing through my skull like a bullet dipped in fire, and I gasped as my vision pixelated for a second. The world swam, tilted, and then, silence. Fucking finally.
My limbs went loose, my jaw unclenched, and the racing thoughts in my head just fizzled out. All that weight Misfit had left behind, the questions, the dread, the feeling of being ten steps behind something monstrous. It all went underwater.
I sat back on Danny’s bed, head tipped against the wall, watching the shadows stretch along the ceiling like ink bleeding through paper.
I didn’t care that this wasn’t mine. Didn’t care that I’d probably catch shit for it later.
Right now, my body didn’t ache. My chest didn’t squeeze every time I thought of her.
My mind wasn’t chewing itself to pieces.
I was, weightless.
I sat there for a moment longer, eyes unfocused, the dull hum of bliss washing over my limbs.
But then my gaze slid back to the tin in my hand.
I wasn’t done. I stuffed the rest of it into my pocket.
The pills, the powder, all of it. Slammed the drawer shut and staggered up, light-headed.
The room pulsed with each heartbeat, like the walls were breathing.
I didn’t lock the door on the way out. Didn’t give a shit.
As I made my way down the street, everything started to spin.
The night air hit me, the chemical fog swimming through my blood.
That’s when my phone rang, Misfit. Of course. I hadn’t heard a single word from her since that meeting, and the moment I drowned her out, she rose from the shadows. I scoffed, the bitter edge of it catching in my throat. Perfect fucking timing.
“You're unbelievable. What, lost control of your pet monster and need someone to pet-sit?” She paused until her voice came through, faltering just enough to betray the concern buried under it.
“Where are you?” I chuckled.
“Someone's spicy, you miss me already?”
Her voice changed when she spoke again—no more silk in her tone, just steel. “You’re high.”
I grinned at nothing, eyes wide and glassy. “Ten points to Ravenclaw.”
She exhaled sharply, “Screech, listen to me—”
“I’m not doing this,” the laughter dropping from my voice like dead weight. “Not tonight. I just got that demon out of my head, so don’t bother playing the saviour card.”
“You don’t get to pull this shit,” she snapped. “I will come find you. Don’t think I won’t.”
“You’re not my fucking keeper.” My voice rose with it, too loud in the empty street. “You want control? Wrangle your blood-eyed freak show. I’m out.”
“I’m serious, Screech.”
“Yeah?” I turned a corner, boots scraping on the pavement, as my head tilted toward the sky. The stars looked fake, warping against the endless night.
“Then seriously. Don’t. Fucking. Bother.
” I ended the call before she could respond.
Stood there for a second, my back hitting the wall of the alley, the cold creeping in around the warmth spreading through my veins.
My jaw clenched, but I wasn’t sure if I was angry, high, or just cracked down the middle.
Maybe all three at this point. The phone buzzed again in my hand, a fresh wave of guilt itching in my chest. A frustrated groan left me as I could feel her fingers starting to slither around me once again.
I shoved it into my pocket and kept walking.
Falling into the nearest bar, hands slamming against the counter.
Tonight wasn’t going to be about her—my want for numbness outweighing every rational decision.
The girl had a face I wouldn’t remember come morning.
She was draped against me, as if she belonged there, wandering hands and exchanged whispers.
My brain felt like warm fog, my limbs loose, everything pleasantly distant.
The world around me had dulled to a low hum, just like I wanted.
My eyes drifted across the crowd as a familiar glare stared back at me.
How the fuck did this bitch find me? Had she planted some tracking device on me that I didn’t know about? I could have been anywhere.
Forcing her way through the crowd, heading straight towards me. Ugh, she’s fucking relentless.
Before I knew it, she was gripping my face in her hand. Forcing me to look into her dark eyes as she scanned me, looking for any sign of rationality. My skin rippling against her touch.
“Look at me!” she snapped. “Look at me, Screech.”
I tried. I really did. But everything in my vision was floating sideways, and her face was warping. Still, I locked eyes with hers the best I could, pupils like saucepans. I could feel her figuring it out.
“You’re off your fucking face! What have you taken?” she breathed, anger bleeding into her voice. I yanked my head away with a snarl, stumbling a step back.
“Look who showed up,” My mouth twisting into a cocky smirk, pulling the girl in my arms closer towards me. Misfit’s eyes drifted over to her, looking her up and down with a disgusted expression.
“Classy, Screech.”
I scoffed, “You don’t get to disappear without a trace, then turn up judging me and who I spend my time with.”
“And you don’t get to throw yourself into some junky spiral because you didn’t get the answers you were looking for,” she retorted.
A small disbelieving chuckle left me as I shook my head.
“I just…I needed the noise to stop, alright? Now, if you’ll excuse me.
You’re interfering with my night.” She stared at me for a time.
There was something there, hurt maybe, but worse than that was the flicker of understanding.
I didn’t want saving tonight. Finally, she exhaled, taking a step back.
“Fine,” she said, “Enjoy this.” Her hand gesturing over the girl at my side.
“I plan to.” She turned then, walking out into the street, and I watched her go, felt every step like a hammer to my chest, but I stayed rooted. My attention returned to the girl at my side.
Her laugh echoed down the street. High and sweet and drunk off the kind of attention I knew how to give when I didn’t want to feel anything else.
We burst through the flat door, all hands and lips, her clutch falling to the floor with a soft thud as she pulled me in harder.
I kicked the door shut behind us before shoving her against the wall, my teeth scraping her jaw, my hand sliding down the front of her jeans, instantly feeling her reacting to my touch.
She took in a sharp breath as my finger brushed over her, one leg already hitching around my hip, her fingers making their way to my belt.
Clothes were half-peeled off, heat simmering between us, fogging up what was left of my mind.
“Ahem…” The sound cut through the room like a gunshot. We both froze. The girl pulled back, blinking fast and dazed. And there, in the dark across the living room, a figure sat slouched on my old armchair, legs crossed, shadows framing a sharp silhouette.
“You’ve got to be fucking joking,” I breathed, voice low and venomous. Lolling my head forward, I pulled back from the girl.
“What the fuck?” The girl gasped, grabbing at her top, her voice shrill and immediate.
“Who the hell are you?”
Misfit didn’t move. Just tilted her head slightly. “Oh, don’t mind me,” she said, voice cool. “I’m just the one who actually gives a shit about him.”
The girl spun on me, outrage in her face. “Is this your girlfriend?! Are you kidding me?”
“No,” I growled, jaw clenched. “She’s not!”
“Then what the fuck is this?” she snapped, waving between us. “You have some psycho stalker ex just sitting in your apartment?”
Misfit chuckled as she stood closing the space between us, “Call me a psycho again, and I’m gonna show you what that means, real fucking quick.” Her eyes widened at the girl.