Seventeen
SEVENTEEN
Holland
N oble had called a few times as I cleaned out a room Aunt Goldie had turned into a closet. I wasn’t ready to speak to him.
I knew people had casual sex all the time, but I’d never slept with a man after only knowing him for a week before in my life. I wasn’t that casual about sex. Amy would be surprised. Patience would be proud. And dammit, I felt elated but still embarrassed.
Sex with Noble was crazy good. He made me feel like anything I’d done before him was purely child’s play. Noble stroked me into a stupor, making me come so deliciously and thoroughly and hard that I thought my back would crack in two. Once I came to my senses, I was embarrassed by the way I’d trembled and screamed. The way I cursed over and over when the fiercest orgasm I’d ever felt shook me, seizing my muscles and sensibilities. Cushioning me in his arms, Noble had absorbed the aftershocks rippling through my body until the quaking and whimpering subsided.
What the hell. There had to be something in the water in New York.
What if any of the neighbors heard us? I reminded myself that I was a grown woman, had consented, and wanted to feel the high of him in me again.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid him for too long. Our brownstones shared walls. And I had questions. Plenty of questions. After our shopping spree and the awards gala, my curiosity skyrocketed.
Noble wasn’t working, but he could afford to spend almost four thousand dollars on an outfit for a woman he’d known less than a month. I knew nothing about that kind of life. And the way people doted on him at the gala, full of admiration and respect, made me want to know everything about this gorgeous man. I knew I was out of his league. As amazing as last night was, I’d already credited it as an anomaly. Noble and I were from two different worlds.
Noble called again while I rummaged through enough clothes, shoes, and costumes to fill a consignment shop. It had been a while since his last call. I stared at the phone and finally answered just before it went to voicemail.
Taking a deep breath, I flattened my tone to sound casual and unbothered. My “Hi” was too high-pitched. Cursing, I squeezed my eyes shut. Why couldn’t I be normal when it came to Noble?
“Hey. How are you?”
“Okay.” The squeak was gone.
“Cool. I just got a call from St. Paul’s to confirm the pickup today. They’ll be here by two. I can come over now to help get ready for them.”
The clock said it was just past noon. I needed help, but my body was still emitting random aftershocks from last night. Having him around was too tempting.
“Okay.” Single-word answers were all I could manage.
I’d forgotten that Noble had taken care of that for me. St. Paul’s took donations of furniture, clothing, and household items and sold them at their thrift store. They used the money to help families in need. He said it would save me a ton of time.
“Good. You eat yet?”
“No.” I had been gorging myself on flashbacks of us in bed. Food was the last thing on my mind. Down, girl.
“I was just about to go to the bodega and grab a bacon-egg-and-cheese sandwich. Want one?” The way my stomach growled at the mention of those ingredients was obnoxious.
“Um, sure,” I said, unable to deny that I was starving.
“Roll or bagel?”
“Huh?”
“You want it on a roll or bagel?” he repeated.
“Roll. With salt and pepper.” I felt like a New Yorker saying that.
“Okay. See you soon.”
Noble ended the call. I put the phone in front of me on the round wood table and stared at it. Noble sounded the same as he did before we had voracious sex. I debated whether I would tell Amy about this, and quickly admitted that I would. The timing just had to be right.
I’d barely packed another box when Noble arrived with the sandwiches and two bottles of orange juice, looking sexier than ever, and a tiny explosion went off in my core. After closing the door, I followed him to the kitchen, admiring his wide shoulders, strong gait, and tight ass. We sat across from each other at the round oak table.
My mouth watered for both him and the sandwich when he sat down and opened the foil and wax paper. The smell of the bacon wafted into my nose and was met with a hefty growl. Shame widened my eyes. I slapped my hand over my stomach and looked at Noble. His smirk unraveled me. Chuckling, I looked away.
I’d had my share of bacon, eggs, and bread for breakfast, but there was something about that combination in New York that made it extra tasty.
“Good, right?” Noble nodded, smiling.
“Mm-hmm,” I mumbled, covering my chewing with my free hand.
He pointed at the sandwich. “There’s a joke about how we New Yorkers say it. We smash it into one long word, making it sound more like ‘baconeggandcheese’ and then we add ‘on a roll or bagel.’”
“That’s exactly how you said it on the phone!” I laughed. “Well, I love this New York staple. This and the pizza both get a thumbs-up from me.”
“Can’t wait to show you more. There’s a lot to see here.”
For some reason, that made me blush. It didn’t seem like he thought any less of me after our night together. I felt a layer of anxiety melt away.
“I look forward to seeing more of the city before I go. And thanks for helping me out with the donations. That’s going to free up so much time. It’s been hard trying to do all of this myself. Aunt Goldie had so much stuff.”
“Of course. Right now, I have the time. I’m happy to help.”
We gnawed on our sandwiches and drank our orange juice.
I hesitated before speaking again. “Noble.”
“Holland,” he teased, saying my name in the same nervous tone.
I swatted his shoulder playfully.
“Can I ask you a question? Actually, I want to ask a few questions.”
“Sure,” he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “What’s up?”
Why I felt so timid after laying all my goods in front of him less that twenty-four hours ago, I’ll never know. “Have you always lived in your house alone?” I pushed the question past my lips. Suddenly I was concerned about the other people in his life. Namely the other women. “It’s a lot of house for a single person.”
He dragged in a breath. “I’ve been there about five years. I had hoped to have a family one day.” Noble looked directly into my eyes when he spoke.
Me too , I thought. I averted my eyes. Noble’s gaze was a stun gun, intense and electrifying.
“Oh. Okay.” I paused a few moments to gather myself. My mind and lips fought to push out all the tumbling thoughts roaming around inside my head. “About last night…” There. I’d said it.
“What about last night?” Noble’s wicked smile made my cheeks flush.
“Noble!” I dropped my hands to my lap and shook my head. His playfulness helped me shed another layer of anxiety.
“What?” He held his hands up. “Last night was amazing. I mean…” Noble’s eyes fell from my eyes to my lips, finally landing on my breasts. Each place he examined sizzled. “I could have performed a little better, you know…” The smile spread across his face again.
Better? He was capable of better? My stomach wrenched, but I was far from sick.
“No need to be so hard on yourself.” I laughed nervously. “But that’s not what I meant.” I paused. “I don’t want you to think I make a habit of sleeping with men I’ve only known for several days. That’s all.”
“Pfft! You’re a grown woman, Holland. Who you sleep with and when you sleep with them is your business. I don’t think any less of you. In fact, I consider myself lucky.” Noble sat back confidently in his chair. Every move he made was draped in sexiness.
“Lucky?”
Noble leaned toward me and took my hand in his. Every cell in my hand was alive and aware of his touch. “Yes. Lucky .”
I watched the words fall from his gorgeous lips and pondered them for a moment. I felt lucky.
“Tell me more about you and your company.”
Noble gently let my hand go, sat back, and tilted his head pensively.
“Coffee never kept me awake,” he said, crumpling his napkin and balling it in the foil from his sandwich. “I could drink a cup and go right to sleep. In grad school, I worked two jobs and went to school full-time. I needed something for those all-night study sessions, so I’d mix up these different juice concoctions to give me energy. I’d add things like green tea, ginseng, and other secret ingredients.” Noble grinned and winked. “If I told you I’d—”
“Have to kill me,” we said together. Chuckling, I rolled my eyes. That would have been corny coming from any other man. Noble was incapable of being corny.
“My boy Ty asked to taste some and loved it. He told a few others about it and the next thing I knew, I was making batches, selling small containers to students. I called it The Notion.” Chest lifted, Noble waved his hand like he was presenting the brand to me.
“The Notion?” I felt my face scrunch. Covering my mouth didn’t stop the laughter from spilling through my fingers. “Seriously?”
“Yep.” Noble’s deep laugh wrapped around his words. “The n for Noble and it was my Potion.”
“Cool story, but I don’t know about that name.” We both laughed. “Who came up with Push ?”
Noble wagged a finger at me. “Everybody wanted The Notion. The name was changed to Push when we officially launched the company. Ty’s uncle tried it and said we had a marketable product. Got some investors involved, and the rest is history. I never imagined myself owning a beverage company. I went to school for finance, so that helped with some of the business part.”
“That’s really cool. How did you come up with the recipes?”
“My mother was a great cook—always mixing ingredients and creating dishes. Made me her sous-chef. I’d get in the kitchen and create stuff with her all the time, so that part came naturally.” Noble looked beyond me, suspended in nostalgia. “Yeah,” he said after a while. “Cooking brings me comfort.” Falling quiet again, his body was in the room, but his mind seemed far away. I let the silence settle between us.
“That’s amazing,” I said. And a little sad .
“Yeah. Push became my life.” Noble’s voice was low and serious. “When I saw that the company could take off, I put everything I had into building it. Did it for my mom. I wanted to make her proud, even though she wasn’t here to see it. Felt like I owed this to her for all she sacrificed. Did it because I never wanted to struggle the way we had back then.”
Not wanting to disturb the moment, I remained quiet. Several beats ticked by before Noble turned to me with a small smile.
I took his hand in mine. “I’m sure she’s smiling right now.”
Noble nodded and cleared his throat. “I wanted a degree in finance so I could understand money, because being poor sucked. I knew there had to be a better way. When I realized I could build an empire, I knew that could save me from my past struggles…” Noble lifted his chin. “Sometimes I wonder if I did too much. Other times I wonder if I didn’t do enough.” His laugh was low and skeptical. “Your mind ends up all over the place when you’re unemployed. Too much time to think.” Sitting back, Noble took a deep breath. “Not to mention, being unemployed is boring.”
My laugh mixed with his, piercing the once-solemn moment unexpectedly. “Noble!” I chided.
“I’m bored as hell.” He sat back and shook his head. “I haven’t had this much free time on my hands since high school,” he said, lifting the heaviness that settled around us. “And you?” Noble asked, peering at me with those knowing eyes. “What’s your story?”
“Nothing as interesting as yours.” I stood to clear the table. “I could sum it up in one sentence. I’m a typical small-town Southern girl who became a social worker so I could be there for young people feeling alone in the world.” I’d said too much but continued anyway. Noble made me feel comfortable like that. “A girl who desperately needed a change and then unexpectedly ended up here.” I waved around the room. “Hence, my first trip to New York as an adult. My life is a world away from yours.”
“How so?”
“Well, first of all, I couldn’t spend thousands of dollars in a few hours without wiping out the possibility of my eventual retirement.” The hyperbole was fitting. I could only imagine how rich Noble was. I’d seen his home, got several glimpses of his lifestyle, and watched him spend more money in a half hour than I spent in months. “The cost of that dress could pay my rent in Charleston twice and leave enough to fill my fridge with groceries.”
“We never had much,” he said, “but after my dad left, life got harder all the way around. I used to tell my mother I was going to be rich so we would never have to worry about anything again. She always said that money didn’t solve your problems. She called that one.” He chuckled. “Now I have money, but there are things I wish I had that money can’t buy.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you or imply—”
“You didn’t,” Noble interrupted. “And you don’t seem typical to me.” His eyes bore into me.
Had I imagined his voice being husky?
“Anyone special in your life?” I pushed the words out, nervous about asking, but still wanting so badly to know.
“Nope.” Noble shrugged. He seemed…indifferent. Did he not want someone in his life?
As gorgeous as this man was, why weren’t women knocking down his door? “Ever?”
“There were a few. None that worked out for the long haul.” Noble paused. “Because of work, mostly. I spent a lot of time growing my company. Didn’t leave a lot of time for dating or anything else, for that matter. At least that’s what Ty says.” He chuckled again. “And you? Anyone special?”
“No,” I said, crumpling the empty foil from my unfinished sandwich.
“So we’re both single,” Noble said. “Interesting.” His smirk was sexy.
We let that notion linger between us.
If circumstances were different…
I let that thought linger too. Who knew if I’d ever see Noble again after this trip was over?
I felt Noble’s eyes on me, and after a few agonizing moments of silent scrutiny, I looked around at the work that awaited me to avoid his gaze.
“There’s so much to do,” I thought aloud and stood up, needing to break the hold he had over me.
“Then let’s get to work.” There was nothing sensual about Noble’s words, but the way they dripped from his plump lips made me feel like he’d said “Make love to me.”
I wasn’t sure if the sweat pooling in the creases under my breasts was caused by the oppressive August temperature or the heat that emanated from my core with Noble so close to me—especially now that I knew what he was capable of in bed.
“Yep. Time to get to work,” I said, pushing my chair in.
“Got a good playlist we could work to?” he asked.
“Of course. Need you ask?” I opened my music app and selected an R I enjoyed just sharing space with Noble. He made me feel comfortable, like I was used to being around him. Now and then, I’d steal glances or find him looking at me. He’d wink and I’d wink back or smile. Watching his mouth move as he ate reminded me of how he’d savored me in his bed. I wanted to feel him on me and in me again.
Sitting back, Noble, pushed his empty plate aside and patted his stomach. “That was delicious.”
“It was.”
“I guess I’ll get going,” Noble said, gathering up his trash.
I yawned. “Whew! Sorry.” It wasn’t even close to bedtime and I was exhausted. I didn’t want him to think I was trying to get rid of him. If it weren’t for the fact that the only beds that remained in the house were my twin bed and my aunt’s queen bed, I would want him to stay. “I’m pooped,” I admitted.
“Yeah. Me too.”
When I stood, we faced each other but didn’t move. I felt his eyes rove my body just as mine did his. These moments were the hardest to get through around him. Knowing what he could do to my body didn’t make it any better. If Noble swept me off my feet and carried me up to my twin bed, I wouldn’t protest. Instead, we politely danced around the desire bouncing between us like static. I couldn’t help but see the longing in his deep brown eyes or notice the strong jut of his chin.
“See you later,” Noble said, still not moving. Huskiness drew his voice down several octaves.
“Yeah.” That came out breathlessly. I cleared my throat. “Good night.”
Noble stepped closer to me, eliminating any space between our torsos. My chin lifted on its own volition. Defying my will, I stood before him, eyes closed, lips parted, desperately wanting to taste him again. Noble’s masculine fingers found my chin, shocking my skin with his personal brand of electricity. His lips covered mine and fireworks exploded in my brain again. Flames radiated to the edges of my skin. We kissed and kissed. And then kissed some more. Cupping the side of my face, Noble pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. Our tongues danced as we took each other’s breath away.
Noble looked at the ceiling and groaned. Resting his forehead on mine, we panted synchronously.
“You have no idea how…”
“I think I do,” I whispered. But tonight, I refused to ask him to invite me to his bed. I was still reconciling that I’d completely given myself to him the night before. My head wasn’t on right when Noble was around. I had thinking to do and a life to figure out.
“I’d better go.” Noble stepped away.
Reluctantly, I agreed. “Yeah.” I watched Noble walk out my front door.
Once he was on the other side, I leaned my back against it and stayed there for a clarifying moment.
After a cool shower, I filled my water bottle with ice water, climbed in bed, and grabbed my aunt’s journal, picking up where I’d left off the other day.
March 17, 1997
After a whole week, Calvin and I came up with nothing. We visited hospitals, checked with authorities, knocked on doors, and combed every corner of Aiken and all the bordering towns. There was no Patricia or Holland to be found anywhere. Her neighbor said that one morning Patty was just up and gone. She hadn’t seen her since. And the authorities weren’t helpful at all. They never took our missing kids seriously. Hopefully, the investigator I hired will find them. Right now, I can’t even cry anymore.
They didn’t just disappear. They couldn’t have. I know it in my soul.
Calvin may have been done, but I will never stop looking for Holland.
I didn’t realize I was crying until fat teardrops plopped onto the page, darkening the script. The journal shook in my hands. I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs, no matter how many shaky breaths I drew in. I tossed the covers off, jumped to my feet, and paced with a thousand questions stampeding through my mind.
“No. No. No. No. No.” Aunt Goldie couldn’t be right. I marched in circles.
I grabbed my cell phone, jabbing at icons and names with blurred vision and quivering fingers.
Ma picked up after the first ring.
Knots formed in my chest. Dragging in more gulps of air, I tried to unclog the path from my chest to my mouth, but couldn’t get any words through my lips. I grunted, mad that I couldn’t coherently translate my frenzied thoughts into words.
“Holly?” I heard Ma through the phone.
My mind spun.
“Holly? Say something.”
The pain in my heart was physical, banging violently against the walls of my chest, snatching my breath away. I grasped at my shirt, gathering handfuls. There had to be a logical explanation.
“Are you there? Can you hear me?”
Tears stung my eyes and somehow, I found words.
“Did you kidnap me?” I shrieked. Ma’s only response was a silence that lengthened and deepened into a quiet so loud it screamed in my head. I squeezed my eyes shut. “Answer me!”
“It’s not what you think, baby girl.” Her voice shook. “Please, j-just let me explain.” I tossed the phone across the room and crumpled to the floor.