Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Oliver
I don’t think I’ve ever been more furious in my life. I’m livid, fuming.
One of my ministers obviously walked straight out of the cabinet meeting to leak news of the referendum to the press. But it’s not just an ordinary type of leak. This has unleashed floodwaters threatening to obliterate everything in its path.
Of course, whichever minister is responsible had no way of knowing the extra reason it was so important to me to give the palace a fair warning.
I wanted to tell Callum myself. I wanted a chance to explain.
Instead, I’ve been summoned to Buckingham Palace for an audience with the Queen.
And when I dash up to my flat to check my personal phone, I already have a message waiting for me from Callum.
How could you do this?
Fuck.
It’s not just the Queen I need to see when I go to Buckingham Palace.
My driver pulls through the gates of Buckingham Palace. The usual protesters and paparazzi scream at my car as it drives through the checkpoint.
It’s not what my thumping headache needs.
The car pulls around and parks in the quadrangle.
As I step out of the car, I’m greeted by Clive.
“Prime Minister.” There’s not a hint of a smile on his face. In fact, everything about his body language radiates hostility.
I am now the enemy.
I’m ushered through the corridors, where the portraits of ancient nobility glare down at me.
When I arrive in the usual room where I have my weekly visits with Queen Katharine, I give a slightly more extended version than my usual bow, this one laced with contrition.
“Your Majesty.”
“Oliver.” The smile she usually gives me is noticeably missing.
I decide to front-foot the issue.
“I want to apologize, Your Majesty. We just decided about the referendum in the cabinet meeting this morning. It was not supposed to be released to the public yet. I wanted to tell you personally before we announced it. There will be severe consequences when I find the minister who leaked the information.”
Her lips purse. “I see. And would you like to explain why you concluded that a referendum was the best way forward?”
I straighten my shoulders. “I’m sure you are aware of the public upswell against the monarchy, and the petition for a referendum is nearing one hundred thousand signatures. I can’t ignore the will of the British people, ma’am.”
“I am aware that the actions of some of my family members have put the royal family in a vulnerable position. I am also aware that you must have personally been in a difficult position when it came to calling a referendum.”
“It is difficult knowing you,” I say. “I’ve seen firsthand how hard you work to serve our country.”
Her expression remains cool. “I was actually referring to your relationship with my grandson,” she says.
Fuck. My stomach hollows.
I should have realized that revelation would come out in the wake of this.
I take a deep breath to collect myself.
“My relationship with Callum has nothing to do with this decision,” I manage to say calmly.
“So, are you planning to quit politics?”
I snap my head up. “What? No.”
“I’m sure you understand how untenable it is for the Prince of Wales to have an intimate relationship with a politician. So, what is your plan going forward with Prince Callum?”
I answer honestly. “I don’t have a plan.”
She fixes me with a hard look, her blue eyes piercing me to the depths of my soul.
“Are you hoping the British public will now decide for you?”
It turns out that telling the Queen I’m going to introduce legislation that might take away her family’s thousand-year right to rule is not the most difficult conversation I’m going to have today.
Next up is Callum.
I step into his flat, and I instantly flinch.
I’ve never seen Callum angry before, the features I love contorted in an expression I don’t recognize. Bright spots on his cheeks, his eyes narrowed, jaw tight.
“What the hell, Oliver?” are his first words.
“Someone leaked it. I was going to talk to you, talk to the Queen, do this properly.” I rub a spot between my eyebrows.
“Yeah, it’s not just the fact you didn’t forewarn me that’s upset me. It’s the fact you’re doing it at all.”
I feel my anger flare to match his. How has he not realized what an impossible situation I’m in?
“I called it because that’s my job! It’s my job to represent the British people! And if the public sentiment is for a referendum on the monarchy, it’s my job to deliver that! It has nothing to do with things between you and me.”
“So, what, you just end a thousand years of my family history and expect me to sail off happily into the sunset with you?”
“It’s not personal, Callum. It has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”
“Well, that’s where we have to agree to disagree.
Because this feels extremely personal to me.
” He blows out a deep breath, and for a second, he looks so defeated that I want to close the gap between us and wrap my arms around him.
I take a step towards him, but when he raises his gaze, the unflinching conviction in them stops me in my tracks.
“I am good at my job. What I do matters. It matters to the public.” His voice is low but gets stronger as he speaks. “Sometimes, people just need something they believe is larger than themselves. Can’t you see that? Something collective that bonds people together as a nation. And I can do that.
“And do you know what the most ridiculous thing is? You’re the one who helped me realize I could do it! How crazy is it that the man who helped me realize my purpose is now snatching it all away?”
“I’m not snatching it away. I’m giving the people of the UK a chance to decide the future they want.”
Callum’s forehead crumbles. “Did you think about what this does to my grandmother? She’s given her whole life to the crown, to preserving the legacy of the monarchy. You are undermining her entire life’s work.”
“I made the decision I had to, Callum. I made the decision I would have made if we weren’t together. I couldn’t take my boyfriend’s grandmother’s feelings into consideration when making a decision that affects the whole country.”
Callum absorbs my words before turning those big green eyes on me.
“What does this do to us?” he asks quietly.
“I want you, Callum. Not your title.”
He raises an eyebrow. “In fact, it’ll be easier for you if I don’t have a title, right?”
I owe him honesty. “Yes. It would be easier.”
I simply want to be with Callum. And I can’t deny that Callum not being the heir to the throne would make that a whole lot simpler.
He continues to stare at me.
“Would it really be so bad if you weren’t heir to the throne anymore?” I make my voice soft. “We could be together with no issues.”
A flurry of emotions runs across his face. “Would it really be so bad if you weren’t the prime minister anymore? Because we could be together with no issues then, right?”
I flinch. Callum’s gaze is unyielding on mine.
“You were right that hard conversations have to happen sometime. So let’s have a hard conversation now.
“What happens if the British public decides they do still want a monarchy, and you are reelected at the next election. What happens then? Would you want me to give up my place in succession?”
“I’d never ask you to do that,” I say.
“But we can’t be together if I’m the Prince of Wales and you’re the prime minister, can we?
Unless we continue to hide year after year.
And it will get out, Oliver. We can’t pretend something like this won’t be leaked.
Look at what just happened with the referendum.
So we either can’t be together anymore, or if the referendum comes out in favor of the monarchy, you’ll need to give up your job or I’ll have to give up my right to the throne. ”
“Don’t you think I know all this?”
The agony in my voice seems to deflate Callum’s anger.
For a few moments, we just stand there, our gazes locked together.
“Have you decided how you plan to vote in the referendum?” he asks.
His question knocks the wind out of me.
Philosophically, I’ve been an unapologetic Republican my entire life, although my stance has softened after interacting with the Queen and also in the last few months after witnessing up close the good Callum has done, the people he’s helped, what the monarchy means to so many everyday people of the UK.
From a personal point of view, it gets even more complicated.
Voting for the monarchy to end is voting for something that will hurt the man I love. But voting to keep the monarchy will mean Callum and I can never be together while I’m in politics.
And my true answer slips out of me before I can think of any way to polish it.
“I don’t know.”
Callum’s face closes down. He turns and walks out of the room.
My stomach falls away, and I screw my hands into tight balls.
Fuck.
I knew that there was no future for Callum and me.
I knew it from the start.
But it turns out that knowing and believing are two different things.
I am now a believer.