Chapter 13
Idon’t know how long I sit there, but it’s long enough for the day to turn to night, and for the flash of headlights to alert me that I’m still on the ground, and I’m still alone. It only takes a minute for the front door to open, and for the three people I do love the most to walk in.
Mera, Nia, and Sable.
They have arms full of snacks, blankets, pillows, and expressions that tell me they know what happened but they’re here for me.
They’re here for me. Not him. Me. That warms my heart and the tears start again.
Mera drops the blankets in her hands and rushes over, dropping to her knees and pulling me into her arms like she knows just how to glue the sharp pieces back together and hide all the bloody cracks.
I let her, because the ache in my chest is an open wound and I need someone, anyone, to keep me from slipping under. Sable comes and sits cross-legged beside us, and Nia peels open a king-size bag of peanut M&Ms like this is her primary medical intervention.
I take a handful, but I don’t taste them.
I just chew emptily.
Sable and Nia move, cleaning up the glass around me while Mera sits beside me, just holding my hand wordlessly, letting me know she’s there and that feels really nice. My family. The one I made, not the one I was given.
I eventually find my voice. “He lied,” I whisper, voice raw. “He fucking lied to me this whole time.”
Nia flings the empty chocolate wrapper at my leg and says, “I could make a voodoo doll, we could all do wicked things to it. Just say the word and I’m there.”
I almost laugh.
Almost.
Sable stops, bag in hand, her eyes meeting mine, “I have seen a man have his kneecaps broken before, very painful. I could do it if you need.”
Oh, I’m quite certain she would.
Then Mera, voice barely a whisper, says, “He looked really fucked up, Callie. Not like normal sad, like...fucked up. He smashed up Wolfe’s desk and then just got on his bike and left. Not even Wolfe’s threats could stop him.”
I want to say I don’t care. I want it so much, but my throat is glass and I can’t even get the words out.
Mera sighs. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but you know we are here.”
But I do. I have to.
If I don’t get the words out, I’ll drown under the weight of them. So I tell them about the audio file, and the way he said it wasn’t about me, and how he was doing it to protect Harper and Ruger.
“He still lied, though,” Nia says, when I’m done. “He could have told you he was the reason that Ruger had been put away.”
“All this time,” I croak. “He knew how much it hurt me, he knew I was trying to clear Ruger’s name, he knew all of it and he lied. He just straight out acted like he didn’t know a single thing when all along he had the answers.”
“Do you think it’s because maybe he didn’t think he would actually care for you?” Mera suggests, carefully.
“Maybe, but either way, I can’t know if he was ever going to tell me. It’s too late now, anyway. Ruger is in prison and Harper is dead. Maybe that could have been avoided, all of it.”
“Did you know Ruger was helping Harper?” Sable asks.
I shake my head. “No.”
There is so much I don’t know.
Everyone falls silent.
What more is there to say?
After a while, Mera says, “Want to watch a movie?”
“Only if it’s about women setting men on fire,” I mumble.
Nia grins. “You’re speaking my language, girl.”
We set up in the living area using my laptop to watch the movie. Blankets, pillows, popcorn, and chocolate surrounding us, we all snuggle in. Every few minutes, Mera reaches over and squeezes my hand like she’s making sure I’m still alive.
I am.
Not really okay, but alive.
We watch the credits together, and Nia throws popcorn at the screen every time a man appears. I don’t laugh, but I smile, and that surprises me more than anything. I still ache. I still want to punch a hole in the universe.
Yet weirdly, there is nowhere else I would rather be right now. I don’t wish I was someone else.
I just wish things had been different.
But for tonight, I am just going to try and forget about it, and enjoy the family I have created, all on my own.
TWO DAYS.
Two days I avoid Knox.
Two days I ignore his fists pounding on my door, roaring at me to let him in.
Two days I cry myself to sleep.
By the third day, I know I can’t keep doing this.
I need a plan.
I need to finish this so I can get the hell out of here and never have to see Knox or the club again.
But to finish it, I have no choice but to involve them.
I want Ralston gone, and I want my brother free.
I don’t know how they’ll get my brother out, but I know damn well they have contacts in high places and can make a deal.
That is their problem.
Ralston is mine.
I need this explosion to go ahead, and I need it done sooner rather than later. Unfortunately for me, I don’t know how to blow a fucking meth lab so I am going to need them to finish what they started. I can’t hide anymore. It’s time to face them and sort this out.
The sun is already high and relentless when I pull into the lot.
I’ve barely slept, but adrenaline is curling in my veins and it’s the only thing keeping me in forward motion.
The lot is full—every damn bike lined up, all chrome and attitude and black paint.
I almost leave, but I remind myself I am not here for them. I am here for me.
I go inside, avoiding any type of eye contact, and make my way straight to Wolfe’s office.
When I step in, unfortunately, it isn’t just him in there.
He is in his usual spot, sitting at the desk, a stern look on his face like they’re discussing something serious.
Zane is beside him, along with Knox, Talon, and Kael.
Shit.
All their eyes turn in my direction, and I meet every single one...except Knox.
I can’t look at him.
If I do, I’ll break.
Wolfe gives me a half grin. “Callie, to what do we owe the pleasure?”
I toss my bag on an empty chair and cross my arms, taking a deep breath. My voice is hoarse, like maybe a part of me didn’t really mean to use it. “We need to finish this.”
Wolfe leans back, folding his hands behind his head. “What’s the rush?”
Oh. He knows what the rush is.
I press my lips together. “I want to get the hell out of this town, and never look back. That’s the rush.”
The room goes silent, and Wolfe looks in Knox’s direction. I don’t know what the expression is, I refuse to look.
“Can look at me, you know,” Knox finally growls, his voice low but careful.
“I’m not here to look at you,” I say, and my voice stammers. Dammit. “I am here to finish this. Are you all going to help me, or should I do this on my own? Either way, it will get done.”
Wolfe puts his hands up. “All good, darlin’. We’re goin’ to help you. Never leave one of our own in the cold.”
One of their own.
I fight back my tears.
“I want Ralston gone, and I want my brother out. I don’t give a shit how you do it, but there’s a way and you know it. You finish what he started,” I jerk a finger in Knox’s direction.
Knox’s jaw tics. “We’ll finish it. Said we would, and we fuckin’ will.”
“He’s right,” Wolfe says quietly, “We owe you and we owe Ruger.” There’s finality in his voice, the same tone I’ve heard before every bad idea in history and every impossible plan. He glances at everyone else in the room. They all nod.
“I’ll make a call, get Ruger a deal,” Wolfe says to me. “Got a big-time man who owes me a favor. I have someone he wants more than he wants your brother. Was holdin’ onto my cards, but I will use them because we owe you that. I’ll get your brother out.”
It’s so matter-of-fact, like he’s buying a loaf of bread and not bargaining away my brother’s life. I feel a little sick, but knot my arms tighter and nod. “Thank you.”
“We’ll finish prepping the lab this week,” Talon grunts, his voice always low and gravelly. “Everything will be ready. All we need is to get Ralston and his crew inside. No one leaves.”
“We’re moving the whole operation into the main barn,” Zane adds, glancing at me for approval like we’re partners in crime.
“New ventilation, reinforced doors. No one’ll see it or hear jack shit.
By the time the smoke clears, there won’t be enough left to sweep up.
Basement ain’t big enough and if we want it done right, we need to make sure it’s epic. ”
I nod, and then ask Zane. “How will you get it to blow?”
He grins. “That’s my job. We can’t have many men around, and I am the one who handles this stuff. Don’t worry, I got it sorted. If anyone else is down there, I’ll move ‘em out. The rest is remote. Safer that way. Least for us.”
“We’ll clear the house, too,” Wolfe says, “and have eyes on the exits. No slip-ups.” He’s looking at me, but I know he’s referring to everyone.
It’s almost a comfort to have everything reduced to logistics, schedules, the practical mechanics of destruction. I can hold onto that, at least, until this is over. I pick at a stray thread on my jacket, and ask, “And after?”
Wolfe tilts his head. “After, you do whatever you want. Ralston’s gone, your brother’s free, and you can make your own choices. We take care of the rest.”
I nod, fighting back tears.
“Thank you. Let me know how and when, and I’ll make sure he’s there,” I say, and I grab my bag. I don’t want to be in this room one more second, but I barely make it three steps before Knox speaks, finally, voice a rough whisper. “Callie, wait.”
I can’t.
I rush out the door.
He follows, my name on his lips as I hurry out the front door, praying he just stops and turns away. His fingers curl around my arm just as I clear the bottom step and I spin, jerking myself out of his grip. “No. Please. Don’t.”
He steps forward anyway, his face stern. “Just give me two fuckin’ minutes.”
I open my mouth to argue, but he talks before I get the chance.
“You ended up meanin’ something to me,” he says. “I didn’t know that was goin’ to happen and I was goin’ to tell you. I don’t want this to be how it ends.”
I am fighting a war in myself I am scared I won’t win. “You let me fall so hard for you, knowing all along I would find out. You should have told me.”
“I fucked up,” he murmurs, his voice low. “I know I did. It wasn’t about you, at first. But it is, now. Everything’s about you. I never wanted to hurt you.”
A stupid, bitter laugh leaves my mouth. “Well, you did.”
His mouth tightens.
He steps forward.
“Please don’t touch me,” I whisper. “If you touch me, I will crumble and I can’t crumble. I just want my brother free and this to be over. Please, just let me have that.”
I turn before I can see the expression on his face.
If I do, I’ll fall into his arms.
I drive home with my eyes so blurred that I can barely see the road.
I have a plan.
And this time, nobody’s going to fuck it up.
I need this to be done.