22. Sam
Sam
I kissed a woman.
I kissed a woman and I really fucking loved it.
My heart flutters at the memory of her kissing me back, when she pushed me against the wall and made me feel like I was falling from the stars.
That’s something I’ve never experienced before.
Too many things need to be done to me to make me feel…
lust. But all it took from Kioni was her lips on mine, and I was a goner.
Did she kiss me back because she wanted to, or so I wouldn’t be embarrassed?
I so don’t need another mind-fuck right now.
What is happening to me lately? I go from being dissatisfied sexually and working two jobs, to gaining a stalker who gives orgasms a plenty, a third job, and now I apparently like kissing girls.
Too much chaos. I grab my weighted blanket from my closet, turn on the same calming sounds I use at the spa, and climb into bed, snuggle under the artificial hug, and pull a sleeping mask over my eyes.
It’s comforting to be back in my little bubble.
World—off.
* * *
My face scrunches when the first taste of my coffee hits my tongue.
I made it stronger this morning, but this may have me going for a morning run with Cole.
I add some milk and honey to calm it down.
Honey in coffee is so underrated. Instead of silence when I open my door to step outside, I hear footsteps trotting up my steps.
My heart leaps into my throat, but Cole’s figure comes into view and I release a breath.
You’d think I’d be used to the scares by now.
“Care if I join you this morning?” he asks, holding his mug up.
Oh, what the hell. This isn’t the weirdest thing that’s happened to me lately. “Sure,” I reply. What’s the worst that can happen?
He sits next to me on my swing and smiles at my disheveled appearance.
“Don’t you dare call me beautiful. I’m not blind and I dislike liars very much.”
He chuckles. “Sam, I’m not sure if there is anything you could do to yourself to make you appear anything less than beautiful.”
I scoff and sip my coffee, staring over the trees for my sunrise to signal a fresh start. Again.
“Can I ask you something?” he asks cautiously.
“After I’ve had my coffee.”
Although I’m looking straight ahead, I can see him in my peripheral vision, smiling and mirroring my gaze.
The warm caress of the sun on my skin has my mind swimming back to the warmth of Ki’s hands.
Would Shadow’s touch give me the same sensation?
I’ve never felt his skin on mine and not sure I ever will.
“Why do you love sunrises so much? They’re pretty and all, but I have a hunch there’s more to it than that,” Cole asks the second he knows my cup is empty.
“Whenever I was having a terrible day, my grandma would always tell me, ‘Just because your problems today make it seem as if the world is ending, the sun will still rise tomorrow and show you just how insignificant they truly were.’”
“She sounds like a smart woman.”
“She was.”
That wasn’t even my favorite one of her pep talks.
“Stop dragging around yesterday’s baggage like it’s not a garbage bag full of shit.
” Was probably the one that stuck with me the most. Every time I dwelled on something as a child, I imagined a trash bag overflowing with flies and maggots following me around, and that cured it.
“That wasn’t what you were going to ask me though,” I state.
He rests his elbows on his knees and looks down at the wooden planks below his feet. “What did I do?”
He doesn’t elaborate because he doesn’t need to. “It’s nothing you did, Cole. It’s what you didn’t do. And that isn’t even your fault either. There wasn’t a spark between us. I’m sorry if you felt one, but I didn’t.”
If his kiss felt anything like Ki’s, or if his touch felt like Shadow’s, I’d be on my knees for him right now for all to see.
He exhales through his mouth before leaning back. “You’re a hard one to get over, but I guess the sun will rise tomorrow, right?”
We literally had sex one time. This poor man is vagina-tized. I feel a little bad, but it’s not like I did it on purpose.
A window opens, and I jump out of my skin when a masculine, robotic voice yells, “Come back to bed,” from my bedroom window.
My eyes go wide, and Cole looks at me with even more sorrow in his. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had someone over,” he mutters.
“I don’t…I didn’t…I…hmm…” I stutter, just as surprised as he is by my guest.
“It’s okay, Sam. You don’t owe me an explanation. This is your house and you’re single. You are free to do whatever and whoever you want. I’ll leave you two be.”
He rises so fast the swing…swings…and I knock into him, causing him to lose his balance and his arms dart out to catch himself from falling completely on top of me. His body this close to mine feels weird. I don’t like it.
“Sorry. Again,” he rushes out, straightening himself and walking rather quickly off my porch.
How did Shadow manage to get inside my house without me hearing him?
Unless he was already here before I woke up.
Cameras would be useless. Even if I went to the store to purchase them and installed them myself, I’m almost positive he would just remove them.
It seems he’s in my house more than I am sometimes.
I could get a dog. Even if it would just alert me that someone was in my home or in the process of climbing through a window or something, would be nice.
As much as it startles me though, I love the unknown just as much. Why am I so unbelievably fucked up?
“Sam!” Shadow shouts out the window when I remain sitting on the swing in thought. “Get the fuck inside.”
I must enjoy hell because my voice works before my brain does and “Make me,” escapes my lips.
The window slams shut, and I jump to my feet, the swing hitting the back of my legs.
I discard my coffee cup on the small table and bolt towards the steps, unsure where I’m going but knowing I need to run.
The front door slams shut, and in my haste, I almost miss the last step and stumble forward, causing the tie on my robe to come loose and my tit to pop out of my barely there pajama top.
The neighborhood is about to wake up and come alive, and I just had to poke the devil.
Now they’re all going to witness me running…
with a boob out in all its glory, a pink fluffy robe flying behind me like a cape, rainbow slippers, and a masked stalker that is probably already catching up to me.
I wonder which one he has on this time. It gives me the same excitement as opening a gift.
Unable to help myself, I glance over my shoulder.
He’s only a few steps behind me and wearing a black gas mask with his hood up.
I run around the back of my house, attempting to keep our escapade out of sight as much as possible, or I’m sure someone will call the police.
There’s enough distance between houses on this street, nobody would be able to make out our faces, so that’s on our side.
When we reach the shadows, my Shadow tackles me to the ground. Not easily either, I might add.
“Ouch!” I grumble, turning my head sideways away from the ground.
My knees burn like they just got carpet burn, and the grass is cold against my skin, especially my bare breast. My slippers are somewhere behind us.
I struggle beneath him, elbowing him in the ribs when I manage to slip my arm free.
He grunts and grips my wrist, tugging it backwards and wrapping the tie from my robe around my wrists, securing them together.
“You are the prettiest prey I’ve ever caught.
But you didn’t truly want to get away, did you?
” he taunts in my ear. “You’ve been a naughty girl, Sam.
When you belong to me, you don’t have coffee with someone who wants to fuck you.
If you wanted someone to sit with you while you watched your sunrise, you should have messaged me. ”
“Yeah, that wouldn’t have been suspicious in the least. Me sitting next to someone on my swing, decked out in all black tactical clothing, wearing whatever mask you chose that day. Yep. Totally normal.”
He wraps the excess fuzzy rope around my throat and knots it behind my neck. “Shadow,” I croak out, tilting my head back and straining my shoulders and arms to lessen the tension. “You’re an asshole.” My insult is hoarse.
“Mmm. An asshole that will make you come all over yourself like my pretty little whore.” I moan, and he chuckles darkly. “Time to get fucked.” I struggle to breathe as he lifts me off the ground and tosses me over his shoulder.
I may not have the defined abs Kioni has, but they are fully capable of keeping my upper body raised to save me from strangulation.
Great. Now my other boob joined its bigger twin.
Please, please, please don’t let any of my neighbors see me like this.
I’ll never look at my robes the same way again.
No longer are they just comfortable and cute.
They are a torture device waiting to be used.
If I were to explain to someone what my type is, how would I even attempt to describe this situation to a normal person?