25. Sam
Sam
“Are you here for a particular dog that you saw on our page?” the volunteer asks, opening the door that leads to the kennels. The air reeks of wet dog and piss.
“No,” I yell so she can hear me over the barking. “I’m just looking today.”
“Let me know if there is one you would like to get out. You can take them for a walk in the park out back.”
“Thanks!”
I walk down the aisles and wish I didn’t, because I want to take them all home with me, and now I’m sad I can’t.
This is probably a mistake, anyway. I’ll end up choosing one that destroys my house while I’m at work.
Or I’ll take the one that falls for my stalker and lets him inside without so much as a whimper.
I reach through the bars and pet every single dog I pass, except the one that growled at me.
I like and need my hands and fingers. The next one I come to appears to be empty until a head pops up to look at me from underneath a large blanket.
“Hi, baby,” I call sweetly, and the lady I was talking to earlier appears behind me.
“Nyx has been here for a while. Won’t warm up to anyone and barely tolerates us,” she explains sadly.
“Can I walk her?”
“Umm. Sure.” She shrugs. “If we can get her to come out of her kennel.”
She grabs the leash and opens the door, but the dog doesn’t move. I kneel and say, “Come out, pretty girl. If you promise to protect me from my shadow, I’ll take you home with me.”
She rises, and when the blanket falls off her, my eyes widen. Holy hell, she is massive, and a crazed low laugh rumbles in my throat. Little wolf just got a bigger one. The solid black German Shepherd strolls toward me.
“Ma’am, you should stand up,” the lady rushes out, grabbing my arm, but I shrug her off.
“She’s not going to hurt me. Look at her eyes.”
“She looks like she’s going to eat you,” she whisper-shouts. “Get out!”
“Good girl,” I coo, slowly lifting my hand to run my fingers through her thick fur.
“Huh,” the lady huffs, handing me the leash. I hook it on her orange reflective collar, and the sweet girl steps into me. I wrap my arms around her, and she nuzzles into my neck as if she’s hugging me back.
She’s mine.
“Come on, Nyxie baby, let’s go home.”
“You don’t want to take her for a walk first? To make sure you are compatible and she isn’t going to…bite you?”
“Nope. She’s mine, now.”
The staff are ecstatic that Nyx finally got adopted. They all attempt to pet her goodbye, and she growls quietly at each one. Not in an “I’m going to bite you” way, but in a “get out of my bubble and don’t touch me” way. When I reach for her, though, she leans into my touch.
“Come on, baby, let’s go scare the shit out of my stalker,” I tell her excitedly as she hops into the backseat of my car.
I have nothing for her at my house. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to leave here with a dog today.
Conveniently, there’s a pet store just down the road.
When I walk her inside, all the customers give me several feet of distance to shop.
I stroke the top of her head while I skim through the collars and leashes, choosing a colorful floral pattern to replace the raggedy ones the shelter let me borrow.
Overwhelmed by the variety of dog food, I make a small hole in each bag, take a few pieces out, hold them to her until she accepts one, then put the bag she chose into the cart.
I wouldn’t want to be forced to eat something gross, so why should she?
The cart is overflowing by the time we reach the checkout. A gigantic dog needs a big ass dog bed. The alarm on my phone blares while I’m paying, reminding me I’m supposed to be leaving for work right now. Crap.
“Will you be a good girl while Mommy is working?” She blinks at me. “I take that as a yes.”
She holds still while I replace her collar with the new one. Her black fur and the white background make the tiny flowers pop. I grab the dog bed and lead her inside the studio.
“Sam! You can’t bring that thing in here!” Jade shrieks when she sees Nyx.
“It’s not a thing,” I scold, covering Nyx’s ears. “It’s a she, and her name is Nyx…or baby.”
I place her dog bed in the far corner with a bowl of water next to it, and she makes herself comfortable.
“See, she’ll be fine,” I tell her…and myself, because I really didn’t know if she would cooperate with this or not.
Nyx never takes her eyes off me. I guess I have two shadows now. She was the perfect girl and remained in her bed and just watched, not getting up until I tell her it’s time to go potty. Since there isn’t a grassy area near the studio, she has to go behind the building between classes.
When we finally get home, I walk her around my yard, to the woods in the back, and onto my porch to show her around her new home.
She sniffs every inch of the house while I get her supplies put where they need to be.
Her bed goes right next to mine, of course.
I leave the bathroom door open while I shower, and she stays in the doorway gnawing on her chew toy.
She has done a wonderful job of keeping my mind occupied today.
It’s stressful battling invisible forces in there.
But when I lie down in my bed and she crawls into hers, I can’t help but rummage through those thoughts.
At what point do I stop seeing my stalker and focus on a genuine relationship?
Could Kioni and I work? I’ve never been with a woman before.
To be honest, I’ve never thought of a woman the way I do her.
Maybe it’s like Nyx and I. Nyx didn’t want anyone but me.
Maybe Ki is to me the way I am to Nyx. That one person who makes all your pieces fall into place.
Isn’t that what Shadow does to me too, though?
“Ugh,” I groan and flip over onto my stomach.
Someone will eventually get hurt, or there will be a lot of regret if the right person slips away before I’m able to fully grasp them.
Nyx climbs into bed and snuggles up against me.
“Am I thinking too loudly?” I wrap my arms around her and thread my fingers through her thick fur.
If Shadow refuses to let the mask fall, I’ll have no choice but to let him go.
“Good night, baby. Don’t kill my stalker tonight. Just scare him a little.”