29. Sam
Sam
Nyx whines, and I stop my pacing to look at her.
“Mommy is a little flustered right now, baby.” I bounce when I plop my ass on the edge of my bed.
“What am I going to do?” I ask myself aloud, burying my face in my hands.
I’m so confused, and it isn’t even about the fact that I’m apparently bisexual (or am I just Kisexual?).
It’s that I also have feelings for my stalker.
My masked lover/orgasm supplier. But I don’t need one of those if the mere sight of Kioni’s face between my legs was enough to crumble me into a million pieces of ecstasy.
If I somehow get rid of Shadow, could I even be satisfied with just Kioni?
Without the random drop-ins, kidnappings, and bondage sessions he provides?
But what if I don’t need all of that with her?
She didn’t do any of those things and got me off before I even realized I was already there.
Kioni: Made it home safe. Now crawl under your comforter and go to sleep.
I smile at my phone and reply, good night.
I contemplate messaging Shadow goodbye, but I can’t bring myself to do it, and I’m not sure what that says about me. I know I have feelings for him, but there must be a reason he won’t show me who he is. A reason I would walk away. But he has me in a green chokehold, and I’m not sure I can escape.
Kioni and I aren’t even dating yet, and she already deserves better.
When I wake up in the morning, I decide I need some time away from my life and decision-making.
And by time away, I don’t mean my stalker calling me off work without my permission and trapping me inside a cabin sort of against my will.
Had I not had that shock collar around my neck that tried to kill me every time I attempted to escape, I would have left.
But once I felt how amazing it was to be trapped there, though…
I had no will left. So…sort of against my will.
“Hey, sis,” I exclaim when my sister answers the phone.
“Samster!” she squeals my horrible nickname.
“I need a girls’ day,” I tell her, and my mind immediately goes to Kioni. Would our relationship always be filled with girls’ days? Oh, that would be so much more fun than dating a man.
“Calling off work now,” she states, and I chuckle.
“Same. I’m leaving now.”
“Love you!” we say in unison, ending the call.
There’s no need to choose a meeting spot.
We will meet at the same place we do every time for a day out.
The Blackwater Club. Do I tell Shadow and Kioni where I’m going?
I don’t owe either of them an explanation, but to be kind in case they drop by unannounced, I message them both the same thing-I’ll be out-of-order today.
I pack a quick overnight bag in case my sister gets us both shitfaced again and we have to stay the night.
Nyx is going to have to stay at my parents’ house.
I grab everything she would need in case she would also have to spend the night.
Anxiety makes my stomach churn. I shouldn’t be leaving her yet, but I’m sure she’ll adore my parents.
“Am I already failing at being a dog mom?” I ask Nyx, and she cocks her head.
I scratch her between the ears and give her a big smooch.
“Let’s go, baby.” She runs to the front door, eager for me to open it.
I don’t need to use a leash on her here.
She doesn’t venture far away from me. I always wanted unconditional love that was felt on both sides.
I guess I never specified it wasn’t supposed to be with a furry four-legged creature.
When we get to my parents’ house, she curls up in her dog bed after sniffing around and meeting mom and dad as if telling me she’ll be okay.
“Shoo,” my mom insists, waving me out of the house. “She may be a little spoiled when you pick her up, but she’ll be fine. Go have fun.”
“Love you, Mom.” I hug her and yell, “Bye, Dad.” To wherever he had disappeared.
“Bye, sweetie,” he yells from down the hall.
The club is only twenty minutes away from their house. I’m tempted to check my phone, but I can’t have me time if I’m talking to the people I need time away from. They will still be there when I get back. Along with the choice, I am hoping is easier once I clear my mind.
My sister is waiting for me in front of the building and starts jumping up and down when she spots me walking towards her. My built-in best friend. When her arms wrap around me, all my problems seem to melt away.
“I missed you, Tay.” I squeeze her back with just as much force.
Taylor is only a year and a half older than me.
Her hair is lighter than mine, more of a strawberry blonde, and her curves are more defined than mine.
She loves to be in the spotlight and never needs calm days.
She can go, go, go. Mom and Dad still haven’t discovered she was a stripper for a couple of years.
I waste no time stripping down to my swimsuit and putting my hair up.
She lathers my back with sunscreen, and I do the same to hers.
Taylor grabs the drinks while I secure us two inflatable pool chairs.
I don’t drink often, but today is an exception.
As long as I just drink one, I’ll be able to drive home in a few hours.
She comes back with floppy sun hats and fishbowl-sized margaritas for our one drink. Yep, we are spending the night here.
The water is cool, but the sun beating down on us makes it refreshing. “These are amazing,” I tell her, sipping my drink under the shade of the enormous hat.
“I know! It’s like an umbrella we don’t have to hold. So tell me, Sam. What did you need to escape from?”
I know I can talk to her about this, but telling my sister that I have been letting a stranger fuck me for weeks without knowing their identity might finally cross the TMI threshold.
“I’m seeing two people, and it makes me feel like a horrible person.”
“Two?” she shrieks. “You barely keep one relationship going. How did you find two men capable of keeping you interested?”
“Well,” I start, taking a long drink of my margarita. “One of them is a woman.”
She spits out her mouth full of frozen fruitiness all over me. “Taylor!” I shriek, splashing water on myself to wash it off.
“Tell me everything. NOW,” she demands, staring at me like she’s watching an interesting documentary and drinking her margarita like she would scarf down popcorn.
I explain how I met one person on a dating app and we’ve been hooking up since. I recount how I met Kioni and every moment after.
“So, dating app guy has never taken you on an actual date?”
I can’t explain why he hasn’t. Walking around wearing a mask would be a little odd and draw too much attention. “Right.”
“Then the choice is obvious. Ki.”
“But the sex with the dating app guy is…there are no words to describe it.”
“Pshh,” she says dramatically. “You’ve never felt as good as you did with Ki. I bet sex with her would top anything the other one has done. Plus, she’s a police officer. I bet her restraining and chase game is on point, too.”
“You are definitely onto something there.”
Now all I want is Kioni. Great. “Don’t let me have my phone,” I tell Taylor, knowing already I’ll be drunk-calling her later asking if she can handcuff me because my buzzed brain is aligning with my hellcat.
She giggles and splashes me. “As long as you don’t let me fuck anyone tonight.”
“Are you dating someone?” I ask her.
“No,” she drags out. “I’m the opposite of you, Samster. My problem is that I fall too easily. I’m doing my best to hold out until someone comes along that is worthy of my crazy, obsessed ass.”
After I finish my fishbowl margarita, I answer my phone without thinking.
“Ki,” I gush.
“I’m on my way.”
“No hi, how are you?”
“Hi, love. You’ve been drinking. I’m coming to get you.”
“Mmm. That wouldn’t be a good idea. I would kiss you, and I need to choose first.”
“Choose what, Sam?”
“I have to go.”
“Looks like you need another drink, beautiful,” some random man says after stepping in front of me. I scrunch my nose, and he gives me a dirty look before continuing on. I have what I want, thank you very much.
“Who the fuck was that?” Ki snaps, reminding me I’m still on the phone.
“Mmm. Jealous are we?” Her protective tone sends shivers to all the right, but wrong at the moment, places.
“Sam,” she growls.
“Ki,” I growl back, giggling. “I’m breathing. Let me breathe,” I tell her, hanging up.
I might as well reply to Shadow’s million missed messages too.
Here I was thinking I had a stalker, and you have yet to find me.
“Gave in already, huh?” Taylor pokes fun at me when she comes back with regular-sized margaritas this time, which are pink on the bottom and purple on top. It’s so pretty I almost don’t want to drink it…almost.
I shrug. “It rang, I saw her name appear on my screen, and I got excited. My buzzed brain forgot I wasn’t supposed to answer,” I explain my poor excuse.
“Hey ladies,” a cute man our age says as he approaches us. What is it with women in bikinis that screams hit on me?
Taylor puts her hand up, signaling for him to stop. “My vagina is currently in nun training and she’s got a girlfriend…and maybe a boyfriend.”
He tilts his head back and downs his shot before jumping into the pool, splashing us.
“I don’t know about a boyfriend, but she definitely has a girlfriend,” Kioni’s voice comes from behind us, startling me.
My margarita slips from my hand, and Ki is quick to catch it, only allowing a few sips to spill out.
My entire body buzzes from more than just tequila when her hand touches the small of my back.
“Ki?” I whisper, and she pulls me closer, handing me back my glass and kissing my temple.
How did she find me? I was just talking to her.
“You can still breathe. Just do it where I can watch over you.”
Taylor whimpers as if she has a hidden vibrator in her swimsuit when her eyes land on Ryker.
“Oh, no,” she mutters to herself and then points aggressively at him.
“No, no, no! I’ve been working so hard and you are not going to ruin it,” she yells at him, and he furrows his eyebrows.
“Just…no!” she hooks her elbow around mine and tugs me back towards our inflatable chairs.
I glance back and Kioni is watching me with an intensity that makes me want to crawl back to her.
Meanwhile, Ryker has his head cocked, and a puzzled expression written all over his face, staring at my sister.