42. Kioni
Kioni
She’s still in my arms when we walk through the hospital doors, and I have to force myself to let her go when the nurses meet us to retrieve her.
“I love you,” I whisper, kissing her forehead and brushing my thumb across her cheek.
“To the moon,” she replies, reaching for me but pausing with a wince.
“To the moon, around every single star.”
She gives me a soft smile before the nurses take her away. Now that she’s safe, anger bubbles beneath the surface. Making a fist, I turn and swing, but instead of a hard wall, my fist hits flesh.
“Hey,” Ryker says, his voice calm despite holding my fist midair.
“This should never have happened,” I snap.
“No, it shouldn’t have. But the only person at fault is the corpse about to be rotting or turned to ash.
” He tugs, motioning for me to sit with him.
My back slides down the wall, and I drop my head, closing my eyes.
“Ki, you knew something was wrong within minutes. Because of your quick reactions and decisions, we got her back faster than probably any other abductee. Nyx led us to her, but you led us to Nyx. You did good, friend. Very fucking good.”
I hear his words, and I know they are true, but the guilt remains heavy in the pit of my stomach.
Something cold touches my cheek, and I look up to find Nyx.
She presses her face into mine, and for once, she allows me to hug her.
“Thank you,” I breathe. The longer I stroke my fingers through her fur, the more she grounds me. “Thank you,” I whisper again quietly.
She flops down in front of us, resting her chin on top of my boots.
Now we wait. After a few minutes, Ryker meets another officer outside and comes back in with a K9 unit vest for Nyx.
He kneels next to the black beast, who looks up at him with her eyes, not even attempting to move.
She leans away from him until my legs block her from moving any further when he attempts to pet her.
He forces the vest on despite her groans of annoyance and protest.
“She looks even more terrifying now,” he states, studying her in uniform. Ryker has his arms crossed over his chest with the floral leash in his hand, staring at her. I hurry and grab my phone for a picture before he moves.
“What do you say, Nyxie, baby? Want to be an officer, too?” I ask the black beast and hold up my phone for Ryker to look at the picture I took.
He chuckles and tugs on the leash until she reluctantly follows.
I don’t move from my spot until a nurse in tie-dye scrubs is walking down the hall pushing Sam in a wheelchair.
My heart races when I see her, as it always does.
I jump up and jog to them. The nurse hands me her discharge papers, goes over her aftercare and prescriptions.
I’m listening, but I need her in my arms now.
Finally, she locks the wheelchair, and I help Sam up, careful not to touch her wrapped hands.
A full breath of air enters my lungs when she’s pressed against me.
“I can walk,” she assures me.
“I know you can walk, Sam. I’m the one that needs you close.”
“Baby,” she coos, and I look back to see Ryker and Nyx walking our way. Watching Sam awkwardly pet her with her bandaged hands makes my jaw clench. I want to kill him all over again. I stoop and wrap my arm behind her knees and lift her into my arms. She squeals, wrapping her arms around my neck.
“I know you’re strong enough to walk out of here on your own, but I’m too weak to let you. I need you in my arms to hold myself together.”
She presses her lips to my cheek and rests her head on my shoulder as we walk out of the hospital.
She’s safe. I have her.
When we get home, I make sure she’s comfortable in the recliner with a drink and a blanket before I get started on dinner.
A shower will have to wait. I need to make sure she eats something before she falls asleep.
I can bathe her while she’s passed out, but I cannot feed her.
My eyes continuously dart to where she’s sitting. I can’t help it.
She’s home and she’s safe.
I know better than most that this night could have ended in tragedy.
Even though it didn’t, it’s still a nightmare that is going to taunt me.
That life is fleeting and can change in the blink of an eye.
We haven’t had enough time together yet.
Although forever together still wouldn’t be enough.
I need her for this life and for all eternity.
And the thought of even having to survive one moment without her is terrifying.
Ryker assembles the baked potatoes, and I plate a large T-bone steak beside each one.
“I need another plate,” I tell him, and he looks at me funny when he sees the fourth steak, but hands me one anyway.
I cut up Sam’s steak for her, and when she see’s me doing the same to the extra one she chuckles, “What are you doing?”
“Cutting Nyx’s steak up for her.”
“You cooked one just for her,” she gushes.
“She deserves far more than a steak, but it’s the least I can do.”
I don’t even scrape it into her bowl. Instead, I place the plate on the ground next to the dinner table so she can eat with us.
My food is cold by the time I finish cutting both of their steaks into small pieces, but it’s okay.
My girls needed to eat first. Before I can put my fork down to help Sam when she struggles, Ryker beats me to it, scraping her potato into a pile to make it easier for her to scoop it.
If she had let me, I would have fed her.
She grumbles, but he threatens to feed her himself, so she relents.
“The captain is stopping by in a few minutes to get her statement,” Ryker announces after his phone rings and my stomach churns.
We haven’t discussed everything yet. I was waiting until I had her fed and bathed and snuggled up next to me before she told me.
So I could hold her. But he needs to get information while it’s all still fresh in her mind.
Nyx alerts us of his presence before he knocks on the door.
“Be nice to this one,” I warn her.
My hand rests on Sam’s thigh as I sit next to her on the couch, letting her know I’m here.
She recounts the entire night, starting from the moment he ambushed her in the parking lot until Nyx pulled him away from her.
It’s incredible how well she’s holding it together while it feels like there’s a violent storm thrashing inside of me.
She confirms what Chloe suspected. He was responsible for the missing women.
Now it’s just locating the bodies. I never imagined such a vicious monster lived within him, or I would have ended his existence the moment I had him within my grasp.
Pike and the other officers he brought with him stay in the living room with Ryker talking while I take Sam to the bathroom. Once the door clicks shut behind us, I wrap my arms around her. Burying my face into the crook of her neck, I breathe her in. Not her scent, but her strength.
“Come on, fierce little wolf, let’s get you cleaned up.”
I make sure the water is warm before helping her undress and then myself.
“Hold your arms up out of the water and I’ll wash you.” She can’t get her bandages wet, so this shower is all on me.
“I didn’t tell Pike everything.”
My body stills at her confession, the sudsy washcloth hovering over her stomach. Swallowing hard, I continue washing her, dreading what is about to come out of her mouth.
“He found me because of the 911 call I made when I found his finger.”
Fuck, this is all my fault.
“He was there in the woods when you took your mask off for the first time and said he got it on video. I was his ultimate endgame, but he wanted to make you suffer too. He said if I stayed quiet, he wouldn’t show the police the video and pin the murder on you. It was all for entertainment.”
“I’m so fucking sorry, pup. I should never have gone after him just to keep up my ruse with you.
My selfishness got you hurt and almost killed.
There’s no way I could ever make it up to you, but I’m going to try.
” I kneel, sliding the washcloth up and down her legs and in between her thighs.
“Spread your legs a little more.” I keep the touch innocent. Cleaning every inch of her body.
“If this never happened, he would still be out there on a raping, murdering spree. We saved more lives tonight that what we know.”
“Don’t try turning this night into something good.”
“Ki—”
“Don’t.”
I’d sacrifice every person on the planet to keep her safe. And that’s the difference between us. She would give up herself to save another. And I wouldn’t let that happen. Let the world parish. I just need her.
“My hands will heal. I will heal. The other girls didn’t have you to save them.
I did. We stopped him, Kioni. That is something I can live with.
This night wasn’t for nothing. What happened to me was not in vain.
Let me have this because I feel disgusting for ever letting that man touch me.
I willingly laid in a monster’s lair,” her voice breaks, and I drop the cloth to the floor, cupping her jaw gently and tilting her head back to meet my gaze.
“Your desires are not to blame for his actions. You were unaware of who he truly was. That’s the thing with evil, love. It disguises itself too well.”
She takes a shaky breath and leans up to kiss me.
“Spin so I can rinse you.” She rotates slowly, the suds sliding down her body until she’s clean. “Close your eyes so I can wash your face, and then I’ll wash your hair.”
“I feel disabled,” she complains.
“It’s only for a little while, and I enjoy taking care of you.”
It takes so long in the shower to bathe us both that by the time we finish, the water is no longer hot.
My hair will have to wait until tomorrow.
While she brushes her teeth, I towel-dry her hair, squeezing the water out until my fingers hurt, then brush through her tangles.
I open the drawer to grab the hairdryer, but she darts out her arm, stopping me. “I just want to lie down.”
“Do you need help getting dressed?”
“I think I can manage to put on a shirt and a pair of shorts.” She grins and drops her towel to the floor before walking out. I’m helpless in keeping my eyes to myself, but she needs rest tonight, so my eyes are the only thing that is able to devour her tonight.
When I slide into bed next to her, Nyx joins, and this time I don’t protest.
“She’s extraordinary, isn’t she?” she asks, kissing the top of her head and then weaving her limbs around mine.
“Yeah. Yeah she is,” I agree, wrapping my arm around her back and carefully covering her bandaged hand with mine. “I love you, Sam.”
“I love you too, Kioni. Thank you for being my shadow.”
“Always.”