Chapter 13 Ryder
Ryder
When Charlie leaves, I’m sick to my stomach.
I don’t know what the hell came over me.
I was such an ass to her. I have never been such a prick in my entire life.
I was so livid. My heart is hammering against my ribs, and it’s hard to breathe.
My phone is blowing up after my interview this morning.
I claw my hands through my hair, contemplating calling her back to apologize.
I am too upset. Instead, I jog the seawall with angry fury and slam my fists into the punching bag in my gym.
When my brother rings, I answer it. “What do you want?”
“I wanted to congratulate you on your interview. It went well. Charlie tells me the feedback we’re receiving is positive.”
“You spoke to Charlie?”
“Well, I wanted to know if it was true she was taking on the Lotus Club position. And you weren’t answering the phone.”
“Is she?”
“You don’t know? I thought since you announced it on public television, you’d at least have a contract in place.”
“Well, I’m sorry, big brother, if I didn’t live up to your professional expectations after I just found out Charlie has been hiding my son from me for almost eight years. I needed to make sure she doesn’t take him away from me again.”
“You have a son? With Charlie?” The shock in Mile’s voice matches the thud in my chest.
“I do.” My voice sinks because under the fury, just thinking of the little man’s voice on the phone makes my heart melt. I can’t believe it. Tears wet my eyes, and I’m not sure what comes over me because harsh sobs erupt from deep in my gut, and I can’t control it.
“I’ll come over,” Miles says.
“It’s okay. I’m okay,” I say, composing myself.
I know I’d freak my brother out because us Alexander men don’t cry, but honestly the emotion is like a rushing river toppling me over.
“I just wish I didn’t screw this up like everything else.
I was just so angry. I am so angry with everything.
I deserved to know my son.” And I deserved a shot at a life with her in it.
“Yeah… it’s shocking.” Miles sighs. “Though, I can understand why she wanted nothing to do with our family.”
“I felt so guilty and was so upset when Dad went ahead with that merger, knowing it would eat Charlie’s dad’s assets alive. I couldn’t even look at her. Maybe if I’d handled it better, things would be different.”
“I’m sure this hasn’t been easy on her, and you can’t blame yourself. But I suggest you take some time to work this out before she’s employed by the Lotus Club.”
“Maybe it’s best she doesn’t work for us. Charlie would never sacrifice the company. Clearly, it’s the only thing she cares about when it comes to us Alexanders. It’s why she helped me with this PR stunt in the first place.”
“And she did an incredible job. You should thank her.”
“Somehow, I doubt she’ll talk to me after I told her I’d sic every family lawyer on the West Coast on her.”
“Ryder, you didn’t.”
“I did. Go ahead and rub it in how much better you are than me.”
“That wasn’t my plan. For what it’s worth, I think you were an exceptional CEO and head of the family offices. I think you’ll be an outstanding head of the green initiative and an even better father.”
“You do?”
“Who would be a better father than you? You’re a fun, caring, intelligent, and you’re not a bad brother.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“I’m joking.”
“And you suck at it. Has anyone ever told you that?”
“Many times. You’re one of them. My advice is to put the anger behind you and be happy you have a child. There’s still time for you to teach him everything you know.”
“Maybe you’re right. At least, I hope so.” Though if I was so great, why wouldn’t Charlie have introduced us a long time ago?
When I get off the phone with Miles, my muscles are less tense.
But I’m nowhere near ready to confront Charlie.
I may have hurt her, but she hurt me profoundly, and I’m not sure if there’s a way around that.
Maybe when she moves to Vancouver and after I get to know my son, Charlie and I can make amends, if she’ll ever forgive me.
Right now, I just need to focus on the CEO transition, the family estate, and Father’s deteriorating health because I’m not sure if I can forgive her.
First things first, I text one of my assistants, who isn’t Lee, and tell him to find me some real estate outside the Vancouver core—a nice house with a large yard in the country.
There’s no way I’m living downtown if I have a kid.
There’s too much traffic, and it’s not safe.
Assuming Charlie will let me see Pettie after how I treated her.
Hopefully, she knows I’d never sic a lawyer on her, and that was anger speaking.
I wonder what she’s doing right now, if she’s left Vancouver, and I wish I’d handled the news better.
Then maybe I’d be meeting my kid instead of staring out the lonely window, sick to my stomach.
But my gut hurt too much to call her and apologize right now, and my emotions are confused.
I’m due to visit my father in the hospital. He can’t speak, and I’m too upset with him to get everything off my chest. I respect him and love him, but I still hold so much anger over his choices with the Gibbons.