Chapter 32
HAZEL
Thunder roared in my ears, and all I could see through the burning in my eyes was endless blue as water splashed in my face.
I was submerged in the Atlantic, floating aimlessly as violent currents swirled around my body, tossing me in every which direction.
Shapes of dark blue and black formed in the water around me, menacing and cruel, refusing to show themselves fully.
Saltwater stung my nose and throat, and my limbs thrashed as I tried to right myself, begging the spirits of the water to spare me.
But the ocean wouldn’t listen to my pleas.
She didn’t care how badly I wanted to be free, she just kept tossing me in circles.
I wondered if I was finally dead, if I’d finally reached the state I’d longed to be in for so, so long. Please, I thought, please, just let this be it.
To my dismay, my visions and nightmares of the deep abyss were interrupted by the sound of someone calling my name in the distance.
“Hazel, Hazel,” the voice whispered, and I covered my ears, trying to ignore the sound.
Let me go, I responded, content with my decision to sink to the bottom of the sea and rot with the sediment. Please, just let me go.
The voice didn’t obey. With each passing second, the whispers grew louder and more frantic, and the dark water around me began to swirl. My body twisted in every direction, and the current seemed angry as I fought against it, trying to gain a semblance of control.
“Hazel!” The voice grew even louder, booming through the water tightening around my throat.
My vision went black, and I sucked in a painful breath, only to cough it out violently as I gasped for air, though there was none to be found this far under the sea.
Faced with the option of rescue or death, at first I thought I wanted the blissful escape that death would provide.
But as saltwater burned in my throat and my lungs, and my limbs grew heavy under the weight of the water, I realized that was not a decision I was ready to make.
Against my better judgement, against everything I’d thought I wanted over the last few wretched, horrible years, I reached out towards the voice cutting through the storm.
I tried and failed to yell back, but I held fast to that familiar, strange sound calling my name. I’d heard it before, in many different ways, and in the madness surrounding me I recognized the feeling blooming in my soul. The sound of that voice was home.
I’m here, I responded in my mind, trying my best to calm the waters around me. Surprisingly it worked, and after some time the ocean slowly ceased to churn, the darkness fading.
A moment later, my eyes shot open, and I was greeted by a piercing pale blue light.
“Hazel, please,” that voice called, laced with frantic worry. The way they said my name felt like warm tea on a cold winter day, wrapping me up in a soft blanket.
Air finally rushed into my lungs as my senses returned, and as my vision cleared, I stared up into emerald green eyes I’d recognize anywhere.
Those same eyes that had pulled me out of countless nightmares, the eyes that had saved me from my demise not once but twice.
The lovely face of a predator who had haunted my thoughts and dreams for years, yet been the only tether I had to a world and life I so desperately longed for.
“Draya!” I gasped, throwing my hands up and clawing at his face, praying that he was real. I couldn’t take any more mental games, couldn’t be made to believe I was mad for one more second.
This had to be real. This couldn’t be yet another dream. If it was, I’d simply pass away.
Strong hands gently engulfed my wrists, guiding my claws away from his cheeks. “Wake up, Hazel,” Draya pleaded, his glassy eyes searching my face for any sign of recognition.
“I’m here,” I tried to say, croaking out the words as water burned in my throat. He heard my strangled voice and immediately wrapped me into the tightest, most protective embrace I’d ever felt in my twenty-five years of life.
“Fuck,” he whispered against my shoulder, stroking his hand over the back of my head. His body trembled beneath me, and it took a moment for my mind to comprehend what was happening.
We were in the pool in my washroom. Draya was fully shifted in his Talassi form, while I must have shifted as much as I could in my panicked state. My hands and feet were webbed, spikes protruded from my shoulders and hips, and my gills were out, beckoning for the water.
“Draya,” I rasped again, my voice and mind much clearer this time.
“Good lord, Hazel,” he said, pushing me away for a moment to examine my face. “You terrified me.”
“I’m here,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m here. I just… had a nightmare.”
“That much is clear,” he muttered, heartache pouring out with his words as he pulled me back against him.
I thought I noticed silvery tears glistening beneath his eyes, but he nestled his face in the crook of my neck before I could be sure.
There was no way a Talassi warrior was shedding tears for me.
“Tell me,” I whispered, clutching his body, digging my nails into his skin.
“I can’t take any more hallucinations and games.
I don’t know what is real, what is a dream.
But I know what I want to be real, and that’s you.
If this turns out to be another hallucination, I don’t think I can live another day. ”
“It's real,” he whispered, tightening his embrace, dusting a kiss over my shoulder. “I’m real. I’m here, and I’m heartbroken that you’re questioning it.
Years ago, I never would have guessed that finding your floating corpse could change me so deeply, that you'd claw your way into my soul in such an intoxicating manner. Hazel, I’m infatuated with you.
I’m in love with you, and I want to spend the rest of my days giving you the life you deserve. ”
His words pierced deep into my soul, pushing through barriers I wasn’t even aware I’d built. Without a doubt, I knew that I felt the same for him.
“I woke up in my room at Akala,” I said, tears welling behind my eyes as I let my hands roam over the planes of his body.
“I woke in my room, alone and miserable, as if everything between us had all been a dream. My body was so frail, and that horrible nurse I hated was stationed outside. They brought me to another session of hydrotherapy, but when I entered the water, everything went black.”
He palmed the side of my face, emotions brimming in his eyes as his face fell. I knew he wasn’t sure what to say. How could he? I was a madwoman. There was no other explanation for any of this. And if I were a woman gone mad, what could he do? What could he say to console me?
“I promise you,” he began, once again pulling me from my tempest of thoughts.
“I’m as real as the ocean you desperately long to sink into.
As real as the sand you walk on, the moon and her hold on the tides, and the lungs you use to breathe air in your frail, pathetic human form.
And just as real as that is the love and devotion I feel for you.
I don’t know what’s plaguing the inner parts of your mind, but I want to shield you from it.
I’m tired of your fears forcing you to believe you’re incapable.
You’re so much more than your past, Hazel, and I long to see you embody the strong, powerful woman that I know you are.
And I promise to never leave your side as you bring her to life. ”
He paused for a moment, searching my face as I took in his words.
“What happened?” I asked, desperate for some type of explanation.
“We fell asleep after…” he trailed off with a smirk, and I smiled grimly at the memory.
“We fell asleep, and I woke to find your body in utter distress. Your eyes were closed, but you were thrashing in every which way. I couldn’t wake you, no matter how hard I tried, and your hands and feet started to shift as you became more unsettled. ”
“I don’t think I’ve shifted in my sleep before,” I mused.
“I figured as much, which is why I moved you to the pool. I’m sorry if that made things worse.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I think you did the right thing. I had a nightmare. You know I frequently worry about getting dragged back to that awful place, and I just can’t seem to grasp that it’s all in my head. I’m no longer physically trapped there, but sometimes my mind seems to forget that.”
“You’ve been through far too much,” he replied, his voice gentle as he stroked the wet strands of hair from my face.
I nodded, closing my eyes and sinking into the water. He must have heated it at some point, and the soft caresses of the tiny waves seemed to soothe a deep ache within my soul.
“I don’t know what to think,” I said, folding back into his embrace.
“I think you’re terrified,” he replied, holding me tight. “We’re going back to the island to potentially expose your father for far more horrendous things than you ever believed were possible. It’s only fair that you are reliving some of those fears.”
“You’re right,” I said, resting my head on his shoulder.
“You don’t have to come with us,” he said, readjusting so I could see his face. “You can stay here, safe and protected within the walls of the Capital.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I need to go. I need to see with my own eyes what is happening. Lord Emerson is my father, and his business is mine, no matter what he or any others may think.”
“I understand,” Draya replied, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head as he cradled me against his chest.
We stayed in the pool until I calmed, and he eventually lifted me from the water and dried my body.
By that point, I was exhausted, still wondering what part of my brain I should listen to, but something in my soul let me know that this was true.
Akala was a distant memory, and though I’d face it again in a matter of hours, its hold on me was weakening.
I was free. I could make my own choices, and I had an army of Talassian warriors willing to ensure my safety.
Well, I had one Talassian warrior willing to ensure my safety. I wasn’t entirely sure his comrades would oblige.
We made our way back to the bedroom, and Draya wrapped me in quilts until I wasn’t sure I’d be able to breathe. He stayed with me again, engulfing me in his arms until I was fast asleep.