Chapter 1
ONE
TWELVE YEARS LATER
The sound of a blaring car horn ripped me out of my dream. My eyes barely had time to open before I slammed into the dashboard of the moving truck, my hands hitting the hard plastic right before the rest of me.
“Oww…” I groaned as I pushed back into my seat, rubbing my probably-bruised skin.
“What the fuck?” Cole screamed from the driver’s side, rolling down the window to continue screaming at the passing cabs.
As my eyes adjusted to the brightness, it took me a minute to get my bearings. Just a moment ago, I was on the pier with my Poppy, replaying a forgotten memory. The next, I was in the middle of downtown Manhattan, the cacophony of traffic and congestion filling the world around me. I might have spent most of my childhood in New York, but after years upstate, the abrupt shift was jarring, to say the least.
“Are you okay?” Alex, my best friend, asked from the middle seat, as she checked me over .
I waved her off. “All good. Just trying to wake myself up.”
“I bet,” she chuckled. “You’ve been snoring since we hit the Thruway.”
That wasn’t surprising. Cole insisted we leave Saint Stephen’s Lake at a ridiculously early hour to get on the road before rush hour began. For the past four hours, the three of us had packed into the cab of a moving truck heading toward my new apartment in the city.
All my belongings were piled into boxes in the back, far fewer than I thought I’d have. Then again, most of my clothes were still hanging in my closet back at the Isadora, my family’s hotel in Saint Stephen’s Lake—the same hotel my mother had kicked me out of almost two months ago because I refused to go along with her plan for my life.
A decision I second-guessed more and more each day.
“This must be it.” Cole shifted the truck into park, and we stared through the windshield, taking in the large building in front of us. For a moment, I thought about telling him to turn around, to take me back to Saint Stephen’s Lake, that this city, no matter how wondrous it could be, would never be my home.
But as my hand reached toward the handle, I knew that wasn’t an option. Even if I wanted to go back, there was nothing waiting for me at the lake but now-painful memories. If I genuinely wanted a fresh start, it needed to be somewhere new, somewhere I wouldn’t always be Diane Winters’ daughter.
Alex nudged my side. “Are you ready?”
I nodded, forcing myself to exhale. “Yup, I think I am.”
As Alex and I climbed out with a couple of bags from the front seat, Cole called out from the driver’s side window. “I’m going to circle the block and find somewhere to park. Let me know if there’s a back alley or something we can use.”
We nodded before walking inside the lobby bathed in white marble, leather couches lining the floor-to-ceiling, tinted windows. A large chandelier adorned the center of the ceiling, making it appear as if a thousand crystals rained down from the sky. It was gorgeous, a far cry from the rustic charm I was used to.
“Can I help you?” a voice called out from the other side of the lobby. I turned to find an older gentleman smiling softly at me, his brown skin lined with age, but there was still a youthful humor in his expression.
“Oh, sorry!” I moved over to shake his hand. “I’m Calla Winters. I’m staying with my sister, Devyn, in apartment 8B. She was supposed to leave a key for me at the front desk?”
“Ahh,” he sighed, opening a drawer. “The younger Miss Winters. Your sister warned me you were trouble.”
I rolled my eyes. “Devyn’s one to talk.”
“That girl needs to experience some trouble. Works harder than anyone else I know.” He passed me the key across the counter. “Name’s Harold. If you need anything, I’m your man.” He winked at me. “Just don’t tell my wife I said that.”
I chuckled as Alex talked to Harold, asking about a place to park the moving van so Cole wouldn’t be driving around in circles for hours. He offered to lead her to the service entrance as I grabbed the bags and walked toward the elevators.
My fingers shook as I pressed the button for the eighth floor, and the metal doors reflected my uneasy expression. This is a good thing—it’s the fresh start you so desperately needed .
But now that I was here, it felt like the walls were closing in on me. This building reminded me too much of the apartment I’d escaped as soon as I could. All the cold, modern elements made me ache for the familiarity of the Isadora. Most people didn’t understand the appeal of living in a hotel, but to me, it would always be home. My favorite memories took place on the grounds of the resort. While we’d always listed Manhattan as our official address, the moment school let out, my sister and I were bound for my grandfather’s resort, spending every day at his side.
It was where I learned to swim and sail, spending as much time as possible in the water. It was where I had my first kiss and my only true heartbreak. It was where my family, the ones I’d chosen instead of the ones who shared my last name, resided.
Home would always be the Lake.
Maybe New York could be too. The city reminded me of bitter memories, of forced smiles and failed expectations. It might have been where I was born, where I’d grown up, but I’d left the moment I could. Perhaps now was my chance to experience the city on my own terms, to see if this place could help me carve out a future for myself. My best friends were all starting new chapters of their lives. Alex and Cole were getting serious, and Javi and his husband were trying to have a baby. Everyone was moving on, and yet, for the past four years, I’d been stuck. The lake was a haven, a place to hide away from pushing myself to try new things, to break out of my stagnant existence, but here? There was no safety net, no familial business to fall back on. I’d have to carve my own path. And even though it terrified me, it was also sort of exciting.
The elevator dinged, pulling me out of my haze. The doors opened, revealing a pristine, white marble hallway. Doors lined the halls, looking completely ordinary among the luxury of the building—like they knew what was hiding behind them.
As I shoved open the door to our apartment, I let out a little gasp. Pictures did not do this place justice. The entire back wall was made up of windows—the New York skyline was Devyn’s backyard. While I loved living upstate, there was magic in the city nowhere else in the world could replicate. Looking around Devyn’s home was almost eerie, a glimpse at what my life could have been if I had followed Winters family plan.
“Uggh.” A groan crashed through the front door a moment later. “How in the hell do you have this much clothing? There’s no way all of this was in the guest room closet.” Alex dropped the boxes in the entryway, joining me at the window. “Damn, Calla. This place is an upgrade .”
I elbowed her in the side. There was no comparing this apartment to her cozy cabin. It would be like comparing apples and a tsunami. While this place might look like it was plucked from the pages of a magazine, it held none of the comfort and warmth Alex’s place provided.
“Not an upgrade; just different,” I said. “Plus, we both know you’re going to need that guest room sooner rather than later.”
Alex blushed but didn’t refute my words. We both knew it was only a matter of time before Cole popped the question. He’d been dropping hints since the moment he moved to town to be with Alex permanently. He’d already promised I’d be the first one to know when it was time, wanting my help to make sure everything was perfect for Alex.
“You sure about this?” she asked, taking my hand in hers .
“Of course,” I lied, blinding her with my best smile. My emotions were bucking like a see-saw, rotating between excitement and fear. I really wished my sister was here to greet me. At least then, it wouldn’t feel like I was moving into a stranger’s place. However, with her being up for junior partner this year, Devyn was always at the office. She gave new meaning to the word workaholic. She claimed it would all be worth it soon, but that was yet to be seen.
I tried to imagine myself in her shoes, spending my entire day surrounded by paperwork, buried deep in the latest case files. I shuddered at the thought. I might not know what I wanted to do, but that was definitely not it.
As if she could read my apprehension, Alex linked her arms around my waist in a sideways hug. “Say the word, and I’ll be here.”
“Don’t you dare,” I chuckled, laying my head on top of hers. “You’ve got so many amazing things coming, Alex, and you deserve every one of them. I’m so proud of you.” I smirked down at her. “Plus, we both know you’re going to be too blissed out from all the orgasms to think about anything else.”
Alex rolled her eyes, but her cheeks heated at my words. I’d hate Alex if I didn’t love her so much. First, she got to date one of the hottest actors on the planet, even if it was all for show. Now, she was madly in love with a man obsessed with her.
I was happy for her. I really was.
But there was also a part of me that ached with jealousy. My entire life, I’d been obsessed with love stories, from the fictional to the real ones like my grandparents. The idea of being wholly loved by someone was all I wanted, but I had yet to find in real life. Instead, I buried myself in romance books, soaking up as many endorphins as I could get .
Don’t get me wrong—I wasn’t giving up, at least not yet. But I also refused to settle for anything less than the real thing. Unless it was that can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t live without them kind of love, it wouldn’t be worth it.
As if on cue, Cole walked through the front door, carrying all my heaviest boxes, the ones I’d marked pillows but filled with books just to mess with him. As he placed them next to the ones Alex dropped, he glared at me. “Not fucking cool, Winters. I’m sending you the bill for my chiropractor.”
“Hey, you owe me after last year.” I danced over toward the pile of boxes. “Who else could have pushed you to admit your feelings for Alex?”
Cole shook his head but didn’t argue. Last year, when Alex was fake dating his best friend, it was painfully apparent that Cole was falling for her. But being the most stubborn man on the planet, he refused to act upon it. After a disastrous double date between the four of us, I gave him a heavy dose of tough love, trying to make him see the error in his ways. He wised up shortly after that, and I took the credit for it.
Alex and I continued to move my things into the guest room over the next few hours, only taking breaks to explore the stark white apartment my sister called home. There were no pictures, no art, no sign of the Devyn I grew up with. She was always the loudest of our trio. Our eldest sister, Laurel, was the quiet and reserved one, Devyn was the outspoken wild-child, and I was the peacekeeper between the two. Growing up, Devyn was always covered in paint, chalk, or some other art medium. Now, her home was the place where color went to die.
I shouldn’t have been that surprised. Things had changed over time, especially when Devyn broke our pact and caved to our mother’s demands. She’d transformed, losing so much of that vibrancy I loved about her.
Once my room was almost unpacked and the flattened cardboard boxes lined the hallway, Alex chewed on her lower lip, staring at her phone before she glanced up at me. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay? I hate the idea of leaving you alone here.”
“I promise it’s okay. Devyn should be here any minute.” That probably wasn’t true, but I wasn’t going to tell Alex that. “Cole has to be exhausted, and I know you two want to make the most of your night away. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Easier said than done,” Alex mumbled, wrapping me in a tight hug. “I hate that you’re not going to be there when I get home.”
“Me too.” I held her a little longer “But it’s only temporary. I’ll be back in a couple of months to help with the soft opening. Cole promised he’d send updates and photos of the Lodge. I can’t wait to see it when it’s ready for guests.”
I linked my arm with Alex’s, leading her to the living room. We could hear Cole’s snores before we even got into the room. He was sitting on the white leather sofa, his head propped up on the back cushions, his mouth hanging open. He was clearly exhausted after spending the entire day hauling boxes.
“I can never repay you guys for this,” I said, dropping my head to her shoulder. “If you need a kidney, I’m your girl.”
“Don’t even joke about that!” Alex shifted to the front of the couch. She leaned forward on Cole’s slumped shoulders, pressing a soft kiss to his nose. He stirred, opening one eye before beaming up at her .
“That’s the best way to wake up, sweetheart,” he teased, pulling her hand so she landed in his lap.
“And here I thought it was my mouth on your?—-”
“Do not finish that sentence.” I placed my hands over my ears. “This place is so clean, you’ll sully it with your nasty words.”
“Sorry, Mom,” Cole joked, standing up with Alex still in his arms. Once his feet were on the ground, he placed her at his side, but not before dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “You sure you’ll be okay?”
“Yes, Dad , I’m a big girl. I can handle the big, bad city. I swear.”
“If you run into any trouble, give Adam a call.” Cole shifted to take out his phone. My phone chimed with a text, and I looked down to see that Cole sent me a contact.
“What’s he going to do from LA?” I asked, shoving my phone back into my pocket. There was no way I’d ever call him. Adam was the nicest person I’d ever met, but he was still a movie star. It was hard enough being in the same room as him without gawking. There was no way I’d work up the courage to ask him for a favor.
Cole shared a look with Alex. “He’s not in California right now.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “He’s taking a break from movies. Theo’s shitting a brick, but they’re both staying here for at least the next six months. Adam wanted to try something new.”
“Oh…” I say, curiosity piqued, but I shook it off before my mind could run away with any errant thoughts. With a glance up at the clock, I knew Devyn should be back soon, and I was looking forward to a few minutes to get my bearings on my own. “I’m not trying to kick you guys out…”
“But you’re kicking us out,” Alex chuckled, pulling me into one last hug. “Seriously, Calla. Any time you need me, I’m here. All you have to do is call.”
“I know,” I say, trying to keep my chin from trembling. “And same for you.”
She squeezed me a little tighter before backing away, letting Cole give me a one-armed hug. “Take care of our girl,” I whispered so only he could hear.
“With my life,” he swore.
After one last look, they were gone, the elevator taking them back down to the lobby. I shut the apartment door behind me, setting my hands on my hips in determination.
This was it.
Time to figure out my life.
How hard could that be?