Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
In the morning, I woke up with a delicious ache all through my body. Last night felt like the best dream. Even after weeks of pining for Theo, he exceeded all my expectations. A shiver rolled down my spine as I thought of how easily he switched from domineering to gentle, checking in with me every step of the way.
It was hardly my first time, but it almost felt like it. In the past, being with someone new filled me with anxiety and nerves. It took me a few times to fully let go, to let myself be completely vulnerable. But with Theo, it was almost innate. Before our lips even touched, I trusted him, wanted him to have every part of me. He’d made me feel beautiful- cherished . All I wanted was him, unable to have enough of his body moving against mine. Even though we’d only been apart for a couple of hours, I was already counting down the minutes until I could be with Theo again.
I reluctantly climbed out of my bed, hating that I had to wash Theo’s scent off my skin. But trying to pretend it was a typical workday was already going to be difficult. I didn’t need a constant reminder of last night surrounding me all day.
Stepping into my bathroom, I turned on the shower, shifting to study my reflection while the water warmed up. There was a flush to my cheeks and a slight stubble burn on the curve of my neck. My lip tucked between my teeth as my fingers ran over it, loving that Theo had left marks on my skin. It’d take a lot of concealer to cover it up, but I’d know it was there. Normally, I’d wear his marks like a brand, proudly declaring I was his. Now, though, there was no way that was possible. Not when it could jeopardize both of our jobs.
While my job wasn’t my dream career, it was working out better than I ever could have expected. All my bills were paid, I was able to contribute to Devyn’s rent, and I could put a good amount in my savings. Not to mention, I really enjoyed working with Theo. Even before things shifted between us, I admired him, loving watching how he commanded rooms and drew others to his presence. I didn’t have much work experience, only working for my family, but I could see that Theo’s management style was different. My stepfather watched over his company from afar, barely bothering to interact with his subordinates unless they made him look bad.
My mother, on the other hand, ruled her domain with an iron fist, refusing to let anyone question her ways. She preferred fear over any sort of loyalty. While Theo had his moments, it was clear that his employees respected him.
I knew I did.
My hands scrubbed through my hair, trying to plan out how I would act when I got to the office. It would probably depend on Theo. My stomach lurched a little; it was going to sting when he acted like nothing happened. Even though we said it wasn’t a one-night stand, a part of me feared that Theo could have changed his mind. A lot could have happened since we parted earlier this morning.
When we first met, Theo was adamant he didn’t want to be in a relationship, that all he was looking for was a hook-up. And while I was confident in our connection, it wasn’t enough to convince me that I was enough to change his mind.
You weren’t even enough for your mother, who is supposed to love you unconditionally.
I groaned, hating that this was the moment my brain decided to remind me of that fact. In the months since I left home, I tried to keep thoughts of my mother to a minimum. It was too painful otherwise. Honestly, there was a large part of me that thought she would have cracked by now, calling me or doing something to show that she missed me.
But there had been nothing—no calls, emails, or even messages passed to me through Devyn.
Climbing out of the shower, I stared at the mirror again, but the reflection wasn’t the same. Gone was the blissed-out woman, replaced with the sour expression of a girl who’d never been enough—one whose worth was determined by how she could complete a pretty, perfect picture.
My hands wanted to reach out and smash the mirror so I wouldn’t have to see the words written on my skin. Worthless. Unwanted. How long would it be until Theo saw the same things?
I pulled my shoulders back, refusing to let my thoughts go down that road. For today, I’d have to do my best to keep those thoughts at bay. Instead, I’d focus on tonight and the man who made me feel like I was everything.
“Miss Winters?”
Theo’s voice cut through the fog, my brain almost numb after staring at scheduling documents for nearly an hour. With the partners coming in a few weeks to check out how the office was functioning, all hands were on deck to make sure they went home with a favorable report. For me, it meant coordinating their schedules and making sure I accounted for every minute. Sure, it was necessary—at least it was to Theo. This visit should tip the scales in his favor, the final success he needed to become a named partner, but holy hell, was it boring.
I glanced up at him, trying not to smile too wide. “Yes, Mr. Ayad?” I turned back to my computer screen. “I’ve coordinated almost all of the flights and drivers.”
“That sounds great,” Theo said absent-mindedly as he scrolled through his phone. “I need to speak with you in my office.”
“Now?” I shifted toward him. “I was just about to finish–”
“Yes, now, Miss Winters. It’s time for your thirty-day evaluation.”
I arched a brow, unsure where he was going with this. Not to sound too cocky, but I was pretty sure I was killing it at this job. That, coupled with last night, made it a little surprising that Theo would be pulling me in for a meeting right now.
But I followed him, not bothering to ask any questions. The furrow between his brow told me I wouldn’t get any answers. I plopped down in my usual spot on his couch, waiting as Theo sat across from me, lifting a pad of paper from the coffee table. He tapped a pen against it, not bothering to look up at me. “I have to say, Miss Winters, I am very unsatisfied. ”
“Excuse me?” I squealed as I sat up, looking at him dumbfounded. Unsatisfied? My mind raced, picturing ever moment he’d threatened to fire me over. They never felt sincere, like they were a private joke between us two. Maybe I’d mistaken him. My teeth bit into my lower lip, forcing it not to wobble. This was precisely what I’d feared. The moment we crossed that line, Theo would realize he wanted more than me, and I’d be heartbroken.
“Yes.” Theo smirked. “I haven’t tasted you on my tongue in hours. It’s deeply troubling.”
“You’re the worst!” I gasped, tossing one of the throw pillows at him. “I thought you were talking about my work performance!”
Theo smiled as he leaned toward me. God, that look could make me melt. His smiles were so rare. It felt like I won the lottery every time it appeared. My fingers ached to touch him, but the hum of people outside his office reminded me we weren’t alone.
“In case it wasn’t obvious, Calla, I think you’re amazing. You are everything I needed in an assistant and so much more.” My cheeks filled with color, unable to hide my blush. To hear that I was doing a good job was rare, something I never knew I needed. “I don’t think I could do this job without you.”
My heart sank at his words. While I loved hearing his praise, it also nudged that insecurity in my mind, wondering if he had only cared about me because of how I made him look, because I was there to help him.
Theo must have sensed my mood change, because he stood up and moved to the spot next to me. “What did I say?”
“Nothing,” I answered quickly, shaking my head. “I’m fine. Thank you, Theo. That means a lot to me.”
“Calla,” Theo whispered, placing his hand next to mine. His pinkie traced mine, the contact too little and just enough at the same time. “This can’t work if we don’t talk. If I said something to upset you, I need to know.” He leaned closer. “Please, beautiful, talk to me.”
I exhaled slowly, staring up at the ceiling. “I don’t know how much you’ve heard about my family, but our relationship is…complicated. It shifted after my mother married my stepfather when I was a teenager. Our lives changed a lot. Our family became more about appearance than anything else. I’ve always felt like their love was conditional, like I needed to meet their expectations to matter.” I let out a sardonic chuckle. “Which was cemented when I got cut off for refusing to go along with my mother’s demands. My value to my family has always been about how I can make them look better.” I glanced up at him. “So I can’t help but wonder if you really like me, or if you like a certain version of me. If you wouldn’t be interested in me if I wasn’t your assistant.”
Theo’s eyes blazed into mine, almost knocking the air from my lungs. I waited for him to say something, but his jaw just ticked—as if he was weighing every single one of my words. All of a sudden, he stood, motioning to the door. “Come with me.”
“What?” I asked, shifting further back on the couch. “Why?”
“Trust me, Calla.” Theo held out his hand. “There’s somewhere I need to take you.”
Maybe others would have paused, would have questioned their blind faith in a man they’d only known for a month, but not me. Without a second thought, I placed my hand in Theo’s, knowing I would follow this man wherever he led.