Chapter 33
THIRTY-THREE
“This is a huge mistake.”
Calla glared at her reflection in the mirror, staring at her half-made-up face. The mascara wand was still in her hand as she stormed back into her bedroom, rooting through her closet for the tenth time this evening.
I laid back on her bed, watching as she ripped dress after dress off the hangers. I’d tried to intervene earlier, and all it earned me was a scowl. I quickly learned that my role tonight was a supporting one, only muttering compliments when she asked me what I thought of her new outfit. That was easy, because she always looked gorgeous to me.
Calla sighed, placing her hands on her hips. I slipped off her bed, twisting her so that she’d face me instead of the offending mirror. She sighed as she relaxed against my chest. “I know I’m being ridiculous, but this feels like one of those scenes in a horror movie when the whole audience is screaming, ‘ don’t go in there ’, and the dumb character does it anyway.” She pointed to herself. “Dumb idiot screaming ‘who’s there?’ in the pitch-black basement.” She groaned as she dropped her forehead to my chest. “Why did I think this was a good idea?”
In truth, I had no idea. When Calla told me earlier in the week that she’d decided to attend dinner with her family, I immediately wanted to tell her no—to keep her away from their hurtful words and judgments a little longer. But the more she talked about it, the more it made sense. It wasn’t for her mother or stepfather; it was for her—a final chance to see if she wanted them in our lives moving forward.
As much as I hated it, I respected her choice. I was just pissed I couldn’t go with her.
Today marked day three of the partners’ visit, and everything had been going smoothly so far. Everyone, even the founding partners, seemed impressed by how much we’d accomplished in such a short amount of time. There was even chatter that they’d be naming a new partner before they left in two days. The general assumption was that it was going to me, but I refused to believe anything until it was definite.
Unfortunately, tonight, I was expected to play host at a dinner and a play, which so happened to collide with Calla’s family gathering.
I sighed, holding her tight and inhaling her sweet scent. “I hate that you’re doing this alone.”
“I won’t be.” She smiled up at me, but it lacked its usual sparkle. “Devyn will be there. Laurel made some excuse, probably not wanting to be in the room when my mother and I come face to face again.” She kissed my chest and then returned to the closet to grab a black dress. “Probably for the best. She’s basically an extension of my mother. At least without her there, Diane won’t have any backup. Lord knows David doesn’t care enough to get involved. ”
“And you’re sure you don’t need me there?” I asked, trying to soothe the nagging feeling in my chest. Over the years, I’d missed hundreds of things due to a work event. Guilt and shame were familiar companions, but I’d push through every time. Tonight, though, I couldn’t help but feel like I was making the wrong choice.
Calla came out of the bedroom clad in a dress that was so unlike her, I almost had to do a double take. It was stuffy, buttoned up to the neckline. No color, no embellishments, nothing that usually suited her. She stepped in front of me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “I’m sure, Theo. Yes, I would love to have you there with me, but tonight is important for you. Honestly, I’m tempted to blow off my mom and join you instead.” She kissed me softly. “I promise, if anything happens, you’ll be my first call.”
“I better be.” I placed my hands on the back of her thighs. “Text me anytime you need me. Even if it’s that the food sucks, I want to know about it.”
“No,” Calla chuckled. “You need to focus on the partners. That’s what’s important tonight.”
I gripped her a little tighter. “Beautiful, you need to get it through your head that you are the most important thing in my life. Tonight, tomorrow, it doesn’t matter. If you needed me, I’d gladly tell them all to fuck off.”
She stared at me, her eyes bouncing back and forth between mine. If she was looking for a lie, she’d never find one. I meant every word. It’d taken me a long time and one pain in the ass assistant to get here, but I was finally living again, and she was the only person I wanted to spend my life with.
I loved her. The words hit me like a lead balloon, desperately wanting to escape my mouth. I wanted to scream it out, to make her understand how deep my feelings for her ran. But with our limited time tonight, I held them back. She deserved a grand admission, something she could look back on years from now and know that she would always be loved that fiercely, not some rushed declaration before we both had to deal with different obligations. So I settled for the next best thing. “I’m yours, Calla. Nothing is going to change that.”
She smiled so brightly that the rest of the city looked dim in comparison. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that.”
“Get used to it, beautiful.” I chuckled and brought her knuckles to my mouth. “Because you’re going to be hearing it for a long time.”
“I’m yours just as much as you’re mine, Theo.” She reached up to kiss me softly. Holding this woman in my arms, I knew then that she loved me just as much as I loved her. There were no doubts, no fears that we weren’t in the same place. Even without saying the words, I knew I held her heart, and I’d guard it more fiercely than anything else in this world.
Now, I just had to make it through an excruciating dinner before I could officially tell her.
My leg bounced against the tiled floor, trying to keep my focus on the conversation around me. But after sitting at this table for hours, my give-a-shit meter was running low. I’d barely heard from Calla all night, unsure if that was a good or bad sign. She had less than thirty minutes to text me back, or I’d hunt her down and make sure she was still in one piece.
Needing a break from the non-stop chatter, I excused myself to the bar, finding Jack already waiting there with a drink in hand. He smiled as I approached, passing me a second scotch I didn’t see when I arrived. Taking a long sip, I sighed. “Thanks for that.”
“No problem.” Jack nodded to his side. He turned around from the bar, plastering on a false smile as he looked out to the crowd. “Down that fast, because Allen’s coming over, and from the look of it, he’s heading right for us.”
Fuck. I inhaled the rest of my scotch in one sip, turning to give Allen the same phony smile as Jack. As the CEO and founding partner, he was one who decided the fate of our office. Based on past meetings, he was a challenging read, not someone open to a lot of change. I’d known he would be the hardest to impress, so I couldn’t let my demeanor slip just yet.
“So, Theo,” Allen said as he slipped onto a bar stool at my side, “how are you liking New York so far?”
“It’s fine.”
“Tell me how you really feel, son,” he chuckled. “Regardless, things seem to be going well for you here.”
I paused, placing my phone on the bar to stare at the man. Yes, he held my future in the palm of his hands, but I was getting tired of these little games. My work should speak for itself. Why the hell did I need to kiss their asses when I’d brought more revenue to our agency than most of them combined? “Allen, why don’t you ask me your real question so we can get down to what tonight is really about?”
“Theo…” Jack warned from my side.
Allen laughed, unfazed by my comment. “You know, I was originally against this expansion. Thought it was a gigantic waste of time. But now, being here, I can admit I was wrong.” He nodded to the rest of the partners back at the table. “We’ve been talking about continuing to grow, possibly looking into international options. If we decide to go that route, we want you on the ground, replicating what you’ve done here. Of course, it would come with a title change and salary increase, maybe even a named partnership, but we’d discuss that when the time was right.” He stared at me. “Is that something you’d be open to?”
“Holy shit,” Jack whispered under his breath. “What the fuck are you waiting for, Theo? Say yes.”
But I couldn’t. The word refused to leave my mouth. The job might be the opportunity of a lifetime, but the idea of leaving New York made my stomach twist into a gigantic knot. This was supposed to be my chance with Calla, a chance to start our lives together. Hell, her resignation letter was sitting on my desk, just waiting until the partners left to make it official.
She could always come with you , the voice in my head called out, but I quickly pushed that thought away. She’d been clear; she didn’t want to have to start over again, not when she was just getting settled in New York. How could I ask her to follow me to another city, possibly another country? And what if this kept happening? What kind of man would I be if I asked her to pack up and move every few months? She wanted the fairytale, the home with the picket fence and the partner by her side, not a man who was always flying off somewhere, too preoccupied with work to make her happy.
I started to say no, but that word also died on my tongue. As much as I wanted to refuse, to turn it down in favor of a life with Calla, there was a small part in the back of my mind that wondered if I was acting too impulsively. Was I ready to throw away a decade of hard work with one simple word? Even if I decided to take the job, it didn’t mean I couldn’t make things work with Calla. She was my person, my constant in this world. There was no other option but for it to work between us. But this was the selfish route, the one that put my career over her needs. The man I was before would jump at this opportunity, would have said yes before even consulting her. However, I’d promised to change, and the least I could do was give her a choice, to seek out her input on this potentially life-altering decision.
“I–” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I need to think about it.”
I didn’t miss the look between Allen and Jack, both as shocked at my answer as I was. However, I didn’t care about that too much, not when my phone suddenly rang out, Calla’s name on the display. “Excuse me,” I muttered as I walked away from the table. Pressing the screen, I brought my phone to my ear, “Hey, beautiful, you okay?”
“Eh,” she grumbled. “About as good as I can be. Luckily, a couple of David’s co-workers are here, so they’re acting as a buffer. But I wanted to call and check in.”
“Your mother isn’t being too hard on you?”
“Nope.” A loud bark of laughter came through the other side of the line. Calla sighed. “I have to get going. If I’m late to dinner, my mother will have a fit.”
“Yeah, I should get back to it too.”
“You’re right,” Calla said but didn’t hang up the phone. She sighed into the receiver. “Only a few more days, right?”
“Only a few more days,” I repeated, hating the weight that fell on my chest at her statement. Only a few hours ago, I was floating, on the top of the world, elated that I got to call this woman mine. But now, all my fears had suddenly grown teeth, making me nervous that a lifetime with Calla wasn’t as promised as I thought.