CHAPTER 31 JARED #2
Alex and I are left alone. My cousin stares at me, a thoughtful look in his eyes. I can almost see the gears turning in his head, probably searching for something sensible that could be a magical solution to this mess.
But I turn my head away and glance at Tommy, feeling a kind of sweet awe and love in my heart that’s difficult to describe. His cute cheeks are slightly smeared with peach juice.
Alex finally asks, "I only want to know one thing. What’s Mauro like… is he a good person?"
I keep hugging Tommy tightly, kissing the top of his head, wondering how to put it.
"Well, I can’t say I know him very well. He’s definitely very hot… And, you know, there’s this chemistry between us."
"Of that, I’m sure. That’s how it works with all True Mates…" Alex says in a slightly amused tone, but he still looks at me expectantly, and I sigh.
"I can’t tell you much about him because he’s mute. We communicated sporadically whenever he typed things into a voice-synthesizing app."
Alex furrows his brow slightly.
"I don’t understand. You’re True Mates, so?"
I raise my eyebrows. "So…what?"
Alex lets out a soft chuckle.
"Well, I’m guessing you did more than just talk." And he winks.
"Oh, hell yeah," I say, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks.
"Then whatever caused him to be mute should disappear. True Mates heal each other, and not just physically. Emotional wounds and past traumas are eased too… That obviously takes a little more time, but the physical cause of his inability to speak should certainly have been removed by now."
I blink for a moment, then remember that I have a scar along the edge of my left heel from childhood, one I got while riding my bike.
I quickly bend, set Tommy down, and pull off my shoe.
"Oh, shit. There’s no trace of my scar. It was pretty big, and it always annoyed me that in every photo I had to cover it with foundation."
Alex nods with a faint I-told-you-so look.
"So why doesn’t Mauro speak? Shouldn’t he be able to do it by now?"
I hesitate. "Maybe he just doesn’t know about it, so he hasn’t tried. Possibly it never occurred to him?"
Alex tilts his head.
"Perhaps it takes openness from both sides, you have to be open to talking to him too?" He crosses his arms over his chest. "Because I have this strange feeling that you’re a little angry with him… You came here alone, after all."
"You bet I am!" I snort. "It’s complicated to explain, but he kept a lot of things from me. He put me through some really serious emotional turmoil."
"I’m sorry to hear that." Alex closes his eyes for a moment. "But you know, I didn’t know everything about Bay either, about the things that had happened in his life, and you see, I knew he wasn’t telling me everything for very important reasons…
he was afraid that if I knew the truth, I would reject him. "
I swallow because that hits something inside me.
"Um, to be honest, those were exactly Mauro’s reasons too. And I guess that’s more or less what happened. After I found out about them, I kind of… pushed him away. You could say that. I ran."
"Ahhh…" Alex mutters with an understanding hum.
I blink for a moment, feeling like shit.
Tommy tips his curly head back, grabs my knees with his hands, and tries to pull himself up as if he can sense that something is wrong with me.
He’s been sensitive from the very beginning, even as a baby of just a few months, as if he could somehow sense my moods, so I scoop him up again and hold him against me.
For a moment, I just stand there with my son, looking at his little face, his adorable chubby cheeks and big eyes with their long lashes.
Tommy is an omega. Even though it’s officially illegal to perform genetic tests on children to determine their subgender, Mark wanted one done.
I’ll admit I felt relieved when I found out, because somewhere deep down I was afraid that if I had an alpha son, Mark would take him firmly under his wing, separate him from me, and raise him according to his own ideas, pushing him toward a brutal political career.
Of course, it wasn’t impossible that he would have pushed Tommy in that direction too, but I believed I would have been able to influence him more strongly. Young alphas are heavily shaped energetically by their fathers during adolescence, while young omegas are influenced to a lesser degree.
"My main concern is Tommy," I blurt out. "I have to make his safety my priority. I don’t want to be like my dad. He hurt me, and I don’t want to create that same wound in Tommy."
"I understand that perfectly. Family is the most important thing," Alex says quietly. "Speaking of which, I have a meeting with my own father in half an hour. I’ll have to go. I was going to leave Tommy with Bay, but now that you’re here…?"
I nod quickly. "Of course. Don’t change your plans."
Alex walks over to Tommy and kisses the top of his head. Tommy turns around and blows him several adorable little kisses with his chubby hand.
The sight melts my heart and calms me down a little at the same time, because I can see that Alex and Tommy have a really good relationship, so I’m hoping my absence didn’t become such a huge trauma for my child.
"I’m going to get ready to leave," Alex says with a smile.
He disappears into the bathroom, and in the meantime Bay comes back from his room and says, "Eric and the people from my band will be here soon. We have an unexpected online session with the fans, one of our sponsors’ ideas, so we’ll be in the studio, but I have good soundproofing, so Tommy’s room will be quiet. "
I nod and sit down at the table with Tommy, picking up the spoonful of leftover peach puree that’s sitting there.
"So? A little more peach?" I smile, looking at him with an innocent expression, and sweet little Tommy opens his mouth and eats a heaping spoonful.
Dear Fate, I feel it again, that love, that happiness that he’s here, that I have him, a kind of feeling nothing can take away from me.
I’m going to make sure of that.
◆◆◆
An hour after Alex leaves, and I manage to get Tommy to fall asleep in the small room in Bay’s apartment.
Bay shuts himself away in the studio, in the most distant part of his apartment, which has been converted into a music studio.
From there, I can hear very muffled, quiet sounds of music, guitar playing, and other instruments.
His manager and the rest of his band haven’t arrived yet, but they’re supposed to be here soon.
Bay is apparently rehearsing.
I know quite a few of Bay’s hits, and I sometimes listen to some of them on loop because he has exceptionally gloomy, sad songs that have always resonated with me.
Eventually, Bay comes out of the studio. He takes a shower, then pulls a few eggs out of the refrigerator and fries himself some scrambled eggs.
What’s astonishing is that he doesn’t show the slightest interest in me.
He doesn’t look at me, not even one glance, and I sense absolutely nothing from him that comes close to any form of attraction.
And even men who aren't sexually interested in me often glance my way, politely complimenting my looks, but this is different.
Obviously, that’s very positive, and I’m glad for Alex’s sake, but there’s also something very strange about it, almost icy, almost inhuman. Even though he’s an artist, something in this man reminds me of a soldier.
Eventually, I work up the nerve to say it.
"Listen, could I stay here at your place for a few more days? Until things with Mauro become clearer? Of course, I’ll cover whatever costs you incur for rent—"
Bay shoots me an almost angry look.
"Don’t even talk about any costs. I spend a big part of my time traveling anyway, and I also often stay in my tiny house next to my parents’ place. I have no problem with you staying here."
"I obviously won’t stay here for long… I just need a little more time to make some kind of decision."
"I bet Mauro is waiting very impatiently for it," Bay throws in with a somewhat bitter tone, almost irritated, and I start to feel uncomfortable because I don’t know exactly what he means.
"Well, everything’s come crashing down on me. I need to think things through." I keep my response vague.
Bay glares at me with his brows furrowed.
"Mauro’s a good guy. Don’t keep him at a distance for too long, because you’ll hurt him badly. The longer you wait, the more it will become a True Mate Rejection case, and that wound between you won’t be something you can heal in a few days," he adds as he cracks the eggs into the pan.
I blink, wondering why the hell he’s suddenly giving me this whole speech, and purse my lips. We’re not close enough for him to have any right to tell me what I should do with my love life.
"Then maybe you can explain how you know Mauro, and the Ferro family in general? They’re fucking mafia. You don’t just casually become friends with people like them."
Bay is still busy making his food, his back turned to me.
"The guy I trained with for a long time and still go to for training is also the Ferro brothers’ trainer. I sparred with them often, sometimes a few times a week. It’s been twelve years now."
I’m stunned because I never expected that information. For one, I had no idea Bay knew anything about martial arts. He’s the artsy type, but on the other hand, it also weirdly fits his stern energy.
And then there’s his body. He tends to wear loose, artsy clothes: black silk jackets with unusual details, loose T-shirts deliberately frayed at the edges, or mid-length tank tops layered over long-sleeve shirts.
They tend to hide his build, but I have a good eye for these things.
I’d say he really does have the physique of a wrestler, though he seems to go out of his way to disguise it with the way he dresses.
"Twelve years? That’s a hell of a long time! I mean, you must know him pretty damn well!"
Bay doesn’t look up. He takes his plate and starts eating, and for a moment there’s silence.
It’s obvious that he’s reluctant to talk about this, but eventually he admits,