Chapter 5
Chapter five
Audrey
Two hours later, Penny hugged me goodbye outside of our favorite brunch spot, making me promise if I felt overwhelmed today, I'd give her a ring. She embodied older sister syndrome to her core, but I loved her dearly for it right now.
On my walk home, all ten blocks, I mentally prepared myself for the call with my parents. Penny and I already talked it through at brunch, but she could never truly understand what it meant to be the only daughter of Evelyn and Samuel Elson.
At brunch, with the liquid courage of a mimosa or two, I had also sent a text to Jackson letting him know I'd be breaking the news to my family. Which meant by five o’clock today, everyone would be made aware that the nuptials were off. His response came as I was walking into the Brecken Building.
Jackson: People call off weddings for many reasons, it’s no one's business what transpired between us. No need to air dirty laundry. I’ll be telling people we had a mutual agreement to end things civilly. I trust you won’t do anything to tarnish our family names.
God forbid, I let the world know the real Jackson Tippins.
I let out a laugh that ricocheted off the marble walls of the lobby. Laughter was the only response I could summon up—it was the only one that made sense in this absurdity. I was past crying; it only made my head hurt and my eyes red.
I’d never air our dirty laundry because the backlash from his family wouldn’t be worth the three minutes of joy. He knew that, too—he knew I only had one choice. To let it go. Because Jackson Tippins always wins. Men like him always do.
But there’s two people who would get the truth, and they were a phone call away.
I prepared myself by filling a glass with sparkling water and propped my phone on a stand on the dining table, sitting up straight in my chair.
I run my fingers through my long, chocolate brown hair in a poor attempt to look put together and straighten my plaid headband.
I don’t need any additional reason for them to criticize me.
I’ve become quite good at playing the part of a successful, sophisticated, and dignified daughter the few times of year I'm forced to speak with my family. Lately, with my mother’s talons in wedding planning, it’s been more like a few times a month but that will all be over soon. Very soon.
I hit ‘Evelyn Elson’ in my contact list and wait while my heart hammers in my chest. She picks up the video call on the third ring and dread fills my veins.
“Audrey, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you.” My mother looks at me but is quickly distracted by whatever is in front of her. It appears she is sitting in a golf cart, a visor on her head, and a wall of evergreen trees paint the horizon behind her.
“I didn’t realize you were busy. I can call back later, Mom.” I’m ready to hang up, when she vigorously shakes her head, bringing her focus back to me.
“No, your father is finishing up now.” She waves her hand at my father, beckoning him over. Samuel Elson appears on the screen, both of them looking tan even though summer only just began in Connecticut.
“Audrey,” my father addresses me unenthusiastically, visibly irritated that I’ve interrupted his Sunday game, but before I can answer, he continues talking. “Is Jackson there? He hasn’t been returning my calls this weekend, which isn’t like him, nor professional and—”
I cut him off with a polite smile and wave. They both freeze on the phone and my mother’s tiny grin falls.
“That’s why I'm calling, actually. I need to speak with both of you.” My stomach dips as my father’s peppered eyebrows knit together.
“Oh? Is he okay?” My mom feigns concern as her fingers touch her dainty gold necklace.
“I am not sure, he isn’t with me either...but if this isn’t a good time to talk, I can call back later.” I rush as cold sweat pricks my neck.
“You have your mother worked up and we have already paused our round so come out with it, Audrey.” Samuel Elson uses the same voice for me as he uses in the boardroom, and even five hundred miles away his iron grip had me in a chokehold.
“The engagement party is off,” I begin as my mother's lips fall open, and I squeeze my eyes shut for the next bit just to get through it. “Because the engagement is off.” My mother gasps on the other end of the call.
Deep breath. I peel my eyes open, only to momentarily wonder if the call is frozen as they gawk like a deer in the headlights. The sound of golf carts puttering by, and murmurs of other golfers play in the background until my mother’s face crumbles.
“I don’t understand Audrey, what did you do?”
Of course, by default, it’s my fault.
I quickly rehash the events. Not the part about the sex phone call of course, that would be too humiliating.
I tell them all they need to know. That Jackson was an unfaithful man, and he admitted it, and there were no intentions to rectify the relationship.
I made it clear it was unforgivable in my book, and my mother nodded, swallowing hard.
My father on the other hand is stoic. For a moment, I wasn’t even sure he was still listening.
“This puts me in a very uncomfortable situation. You know how involved Elson Enterprises is with The Tippins Group and—”
I bite my tongue, fighting the tears back, fighting the sob violently rippling through my body. My father learned I was betrayed, and I’m clearly shaken; and all he can think about is the business implications.
I compose my face, nonetheless, swallowing hard several times. “Dad…Jackson made it very clear this would stay under wraps. You now see what kind of man Jackson really is…it’s up to your discretion if you want to do business with someone like him,” I add harshly, angry it has to be said at all.
My father bobs his head, though his face stays strained. Anyone else would be shocked that this is how my parents would handle a broken engagement, but I was numb to it. After all, this was the Elson way.
Everything was transactional, everything was business.
If Jackson didn’t come from a family like mine, I would’ve questioned his intentions with me, but when we met five years ago, I already knew who he was, and he already knew of me.
Beyond the surface level, I believed he was the kind of man I was supposed to end up with.
Marrying him would ensure I kept the deep-seated legacy going.
He came from great wealth and power; he understood business and built an ego long before he was old enough to understand what that even meant.
Marrying him meant things wouldn’t change for me.
I’d live a life just like my mother had and her mother.
Jackson was the perfect match. It didn’t matter if I never had butterflies with him or if we rarely spent more than a few days together in a row; he checked the boxes on paper.
That’s what mattered to my parents. Love was not mandatory for a successful marriage to them.
“This is very unfortunate, and I know you must be devastated right now,” my mother adds, almost as an afterthought. “I will work on the correspondence to the guests. In your condition, you will be too emotional. This needs to be concise and—”
“Handled with utmost privacy and care,” I finished my mother’s sentence. “Thanks,” I add through gritted teeth, but they don’t notice.
“Have you seen a write up on assets?” my father asked, and my lips parted, eyes furrowed, unsure what he even meant. Annoyed, he continued, leaning closer to the iPhone screen. “The house, Audrey. Who will get the house in Forest Hills?”
Burn it down. I don’t care. That’s what I wanted to say.
“I don’t know Dad, we haven’t discussed it. It’s in his name, so I’m assuming him.”
My mother clucks her tongue like it’s despicable for me to not have an answer.
But that was the last thing I wanted to think about.
How could I live in a house where we had planned a future together?
What would I do in an eight-thousand square foot home by myself?
Was I supposed to just walk through the kitchen and pretend I hadn’t thought about Christmas parties with Jackson or which rooms would make the perfect nursery?
Now, it all seems like a silly dream. Like I was just daydreaming to escape the truth in front of me.
Deep down, I think I knew Jackson was never the man I thought he was.
He just knew how to play the part long enough to keep feeding me slivers of hope.
“I believe this week also marks five years at work, correct?” my father asks, jarringly changing the subject like this was another run of the mill conversation for us. All I can do is bobble my head, while chewing my lip.
“It’s time for a promotion, then. You’re nearly twenty-seven, you don’t want to be mid-level forever. Ed’s a smart guy, but you need to assert yourself and take what you deserve. Elson’s are not doormats. Remember that.”
My boss and father were old friends, fraternity brothers from Brown.
The only thing more disappointing to my father than this marriage not happening was that I hadn’t followed in his footsteps and attended his Ivy League alma mater.
My brother, Andrew, had of course. We were four years past that now, but it’s hard to not see all the disappointments add up like tallies on my skin.
We end the call moments later. While logistically it appears everything will be taken care of, everything will be okay, and I will keep going on the path I have been set on from birth; a deeply unsettled feeling falls over me.
Because this life I’ve been conditioned to live no longer feels like a good plan.
Or maybe it never really had.