Chapter 12 Audrey
Chapter twelve
Audrey
My body is buzzing as we push our way through the crowd, and I’ve only had two sips of vodka. I follow Penny to a high-top table tucked against the wall on the opposite side of the bar from Rhett and his friends. My mind reels, unable to believe he’s here again.
“Okay, you have about thirty seconds to tell me how you know that cowboy Casanova?”
I shake my head, sucking down my vodka soda in an ungodly short amount of time, buying a moment to find the right words.
“Like he said…we met last weekend on the rooftop of my building.”
“I’m going to need a little more to go on,” she demands, leaning over the table. We have to talk loudly to hear each other, so I quickly look over my shoulder, praying he’s not right there.
“After the phone call, I went up to the roof, the bottle Jackson got me in tow, and low and behold, Rhett was up there. He does some type of work, I’m not sure what, but he was working on the apartment below mine.
You know the rude, older woman Mrs. Lawson?
” Penny nods, her eyes wide as she leans in intently, chewing her lip.
“Anyway…I was crying, and I drunkenly told him my sob story.” I bite the grin trying to spread on my lips, because something about that night, standing up there, sharing a moment like that, a cigarette between us.
..it felt more intimate than I'd been willing to admit to myself this past week.
“And then he walked with me back to my apartment. That’s it. Tonight is just a wild coincidence. I mean, there’s probably only one decent bar this side of town, and so of course, a guy like him would be here.”
“A guy like what?” Penny pushes.
“A guy not like Jackson. I don’t know, Pen!” I begin to feel flustered and look away from my best friend who is nonetheless trying to peer into my soul. She won’t find anything there to uncover, other than a very lost person whose boots were not properly worn in.
We agree we need refills, and Penny needs to reapply lip gloss, so she goes to the bathroom, and I stand up to get drinks.
As I weave back towards the bar, I find myself scanning the crowd. My pulse quickened as I quickly clocked faces. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to find those blue eyes or hoping to avoid them. Nothing was clear right now to me.
But one thing made my shoulders relax—I could almost guarantee not a single person in this establishment was friends with Jackson Tippins.
And not a single guy in here looked like him.
This crowd couldn’t be more different; a stark, deliberate escape.
I’d said I wanted to be anyone but myself tonight, and for the first time, it almost felt possible, wrapped in the smoky haze of the Bourbon Barrel.
I find an empty spot near the end of the long bar; the smell of liquor, leather, and cologne filling my senses. An enormous pair of bull horns hang above me on the wall, and I silently pray they don’t fall on me as the live music nearly rattles everything in here.
After I order drinks, I shift my gaze cautiously down the bar, taking in my surroundings.
I haven’t stood at a bar like this in a long time—and most certainly never in an outfit that sat on my body like paint.
Jackson had a shortlist of exclusive bars and speakeasies he liked to frequent when we went out, the kind you had to be a member of or know someone to get into.
And you never waited at a bar, the drinks were brought to you.
This was kind of freeing and as the thought crosses my mind, a small smile pulls on my lips. Just as the bartender hands me two drinks, she gazes flirtatiously at whoever is standing behind me.
“You here with Kylan?” she asked the person I couldn’t see, and I grabbed my drinks, turning to leave.
“It’s his birthday. The big three-oh, so we had to get him properly obliterated.” The same gravelly voice that seemed to follow me everywhere wrapped around me, freezing me in my spot with my back against the bar, chest against him.
Rhett’s chest is nearly eye level, and I can’t help but notice the way his short sleeve shirt is unbuttoned halfway down.
It’s not like the two-hundred dollar ones Jackson wears.
It looks like something a mechanic would wear and just enough chest is showing so that I have to pull my gaze purposely away.
But not before I got a peek of a tattoo that stretches across his impressively thick chest. My neck grew hot, and I exhaled slowly.
For five very long years, I had trained myself to not look at anyone but Jackson.
And it wasn’t very hard. I was loyal to the man I loved.
Something that I now realize was pointless.
It was easy to feel proud to be Jackson’s other half.
..back then at least. The cloak of naivety was lifted from me, and nothing made me squirm quite like being attached to that man in any capacity.
Even the label of ‘ex-fiancé’ felt like a heavy burden to bear.
“You should try the snake eyes next time.” Rhett’s blue eyes were solely focused on me, and I grasped the drinks harder.
“I don’t know what that even means…” I let out a breathy chuckle as he moved to lean on the bar next to me.
I could move now but I don’t. His forearms flex, his legs nearly touching mine, and I can see down his loose shirt.
Unspeakable thoughts about the contents under that shirt enter my mind, but I quickly snap my eyes back to his, thankful for the loud music or else he might hear the thumping of my heart.
“Snake eyes—it’s a signature drink here.
” He winks at the bartender who was only half paying attention to Rhett as she fills a beer.
“It’s a mix of tequila and…” He snaps his fingers and shrugs playfully.
“You know, I won’t even pretend to know what else.
It’s good. It will put you on your ass if you’re not careful, though. ”
I crinkle my eyebrows at him.
“And you think I’d enjoy something like that?”
Rhett pauses as he traces the outline of my mouth with his eyes. “I won’t pretend to know a thing about what you’d enjoy.”
I swallow hard, my brain going fuzzy, my naval growing hot.
“I need to get back to my friend.” Penny was probably already being swept off her feet by someone.
Rhett bows his at me, and I push the butterflies circling my stomach out of mind as I cross the bar, searching for a blonde. I sip my drink, relishing in the bitter taste of the vodka tonic on my tongue.
Penny and I sip our drinks, liquid courage lacing our veins. Once they’re gone, along with half my nerves, she reaches for me, pulling me towards the dance floor.
“I don’t dance, you know that!” I yell as the lights dim, and the stage lights start to flash.
“Come on! One song, for me?” Penny beams at me and my sigh is drowned out as the song picks up in volume. I’ll dance. For her.
I did the bare minimum, shuffling in the crowd to the music I didn’t normally listen to but by the second song I’d loosened up a bit, and Penny convinced me to stay out there.
Penny, unfortunately, was one of those people who could get a whole crowd going.
She was contagiously fun, her laugh and smile eating away at my resolve.
“Don’t look now, but you have an audience,” Penny whispers into my ear. I didn't listen, my self-control was gone with the second drink. I meet his gaze across the floor.
“He could be looking at anyone. I don’t even really know him!” I yell back, but my heart starts beating irregularly.
“Well, he seems hell bent on changing that.”
“Do I need to remind you I just got out of a relationship?” I yell back and she nods enthusiastically.
“Exactly, you’re out of the relationship. Time to have some fun.”
I wouldn’t even know where to begin.
My thoughts are interrupted by the song ending as we exit the dance floor and make our way to the bar to order our final drink. My ears are ringing, but I'll give it to my best friend…it was nice to let loose and not care what everyone around me thought.
“What will it be?” the bartender asks.
“Two snake eyes, please.”
Penny raises her eyebrows at me.
“What? I heard it’s their signature drink here.” I shrug. “I figure we will never be coming back, so we may as well try it.”
We get our drinks and assess the place. For such a large venue, it was beginning to feel incredibly small. Penny pulls her phone out, recording something for her social media, and I wave at the phone, flashing a smile, but Rhett catches my attention over her shoulder.
He’s leaning against the metal bar table, one large hand wrapped around a sweating bottle of a beer, and I’m drawn in as he laughs.
His jaw is chiseled and square, and his dark blond five o'clock shadow is begging me to drag my lips down it.
His hands are large and rough looking, and I want to feel them on my skin.
A sharp pang of guilt hits me, and my eyes drop instinctively to my bare ring finger. The absence feels louder than the music pounding around me. I wonder when it will finally sink in— when I’ll truly accept that I’m no longer tethered to someone, no longer part of a pair.
“You okay?”
“I should be driving home with Jackson right now.” My throat is tight as I reply.
“We had a whole day planned tomorrow for brunch with my parents at the country club, and then we were meeting with the baker for cake tasting. I really wanted that lemon cake.” It sounded so trivial and stupid even as I say it, but tears form in my eyes, and I swallow a large gulp of the snake eyes drink, letting it burn my throat.
“No, no, no.” Penny takes my face between her hands.
“You have to let go of what could’ve been.
If you don’t, you’ll never open yourself up to what could be.
You have a whole life ahead of you, and you don’t want to miss out on it by looking in the rearview mirror. Got it?” She forces me to nod my head.
“Wow…that was really profound for you being several drinks in.”