Chapter 7
CHAPTER
He had devoured me.
He had seen every inch of my naked body.
So why, why did it feel embarrassingly intimate when he helped me get dressed? My cheeks burned, as he slid my foot into my boot.
He chuckled amused, and I bit my lower lip to withhold my defensive barking.
When he was done lacing it, he rose to his feet, his eyes landing on my abdomen, observing the bruise that still lingered after yesterday’s hit.
Something shimmered in his eyes and it made me snag my shirt and pull it over my head to hide it.
“We should get back,” I mumbled, fastening my harness on top of the shirt, before I began moving.
His hand gripped my wrist, pulling me back.
“What?” I asked, voice low, barely holding.
He turned my hand and placed something in my palm. “Take this.”
I looked down, and saw that small wooden carving of a cat. The very same that had saved his life from the deadly quartz bullet that hit him back at Rimefield. He had patched it up somehow, and given the figure tiny red eyes that… shimmered? Was it his magic?
“Are you sure?” I looked up at him again and he smiled, his eyes softening.
“It will protect you.”
I tightened my fingers around it and nodded, before slipping it into my pocket.
Malakai grabbed my chin and tilted it up towards him. “We should make time to train more.”
I furrowed my brows. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I’m saying, I can’t bear to live in a world that doesn’t have you in it… I don’t need saving, yet you keep putting yourself in danger for me. It drives me insane.”
“Well, too bad,” I said, slapping away his hand. “You’re stuck with me.”
A slow sneer spread across his lips. “That’s why we should train; to make sure we keep it that way.”
My heart fluttered and I cleared my throat in a sad attempt to gather enough time to calm it.
“Let’s head out, before I change my mind and keep you here all day,” Malakai said and turned to take the lead. I was relieved to see that the camp was still busy, not a soul near the tent we had spent… how long had we been in there? I wasn’t even sure.
“Hey,” I blurted and he turned his head slightly, enough to glance at me walking beside him.
“Does my magic… taste special?”
His eyes widened for a quick moment, before he burst into laughter.
Genuine, actual laughter, a smile so inviting I felt warm just looking at him.
“That… caught me off guard,” he confessed. “But yeah, it even smells different.”
I snorted. “So, you knew I was a mage the moment you saw me at Blackreach?”
“Obviously.”
“But if you knew…” I averted my eyes. “Why didn’t you simply use me as demon fodder?”
He curled his hand and knocked it gently against my head. It still hurt. “I told you, your blood is different, and I wanted to know why.”
“Different,” I echoed. “Like, finally getting carrot instead of potato different, forced to eat cat food kind of different, or…?”
He chuckled. “I guess it depends on the demon. For me, it was like a mortal being invited to feast with the Gods themselves. I’d rather starve to death than eat anything else.”
I swallowed hard, trying to remain neutral.
“Don’t worry,” he purred, suddenly closer. “You have many fine qualities besides that.”
“Stop it.”
“I’ve behaved long enough sweetie.” He placed his hands into his pockets. “It’s only fair to make you squirm in return.”
Well, I couldn’t argue with him, I had punished him for quite some time for the events at Rimefield, possibly even unfairly so.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Hmm?”
“I’m sorry that I was too scared to let you in completely. After Rimefield I feared that if I let you come close again… next time something happened, I would lose you forever. And that frightened me.”
He stopped, his eyes looking at me curiously, yet his face was blank. “What changed?”
I scoffed. “You. Your persistence, constant pushing and pulling… You’re always in my face.”
“Then,” he said, a smile spreading on his lips as he reached for my hand. “If something ever were to happen, I expect you to nag me, bother me and hunt me down the same way.”
“Sure,” I laughed.
“Promise?” he teased, smirking mischievously at me.
“What are you, like seven?” I rolled my eyes.
“A bit more, if we’re talking inches.”
I stumbled, my eyes widening at his implication and my cheeks flared, causing him to chuckle dark and amused by my reaction.
“I-I promise, okay?” I stuttered, flustered.
“There she is,” a familiar voice cut in.
Our heads turned and I saw Amestele’s scorching eyes meeting mine, before they inspected Malakai.
She had another beautiful dress, dark blue with silver embroidery across the bodice.
“This must be… your little pet.”
Malakai snorted.
“So, that’s how you keep him on a leash?” she asked, her eyes locking on my neck. Even though I had closed the wound with my flames, the marks still remained.
I clenched my teeth, a mixture of anger and fluster. “He’s a person you know,” I bit out.
“Adorable, he still bites like a demon, though,” she scoffed, clearly not buying my words.
“Don’t worry,” Malakai interrupted, voice sharp as his eyes lingered on Amestele. “I won’t bite you, even a creature like me has standards.”
Her eyes narrowed, clearly offended by his words and I had to press my lips together not to sneer. She slowly turned her attention back to me.
“A soldier debriefed me earlier—seems you failed to cross the border?”
“We didn’t fail, but once there we were ambushed by a score of demons,” I corrected her, fighting against the flames that hissed underneath my skin. “The rest of the squad is out scouting as we speak.”
“Oh?” Amestele tilted her head, a mocking smirk spreading on her lips. “Sending them out while you enjoy yourself with a demon?”
Malakai took a step forward and my hand lunged for his shirt to hold him back. His eyes began glowing and Amestele noticed as she became silent.
“I—”
“At least we have crossed the border, haven’t seen your ass out there yet,” Malakai growled low. “What’s your excuse? Couldn’t pick the right dress for the occasion?”
Amestele’s eyes flickered, rage coiling inside of them. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
Malakai chuckled dryly as he took another step forward, standing in front of her. “I’ll make sure you’ll be remembered for bravely watching over the camp, while we went through an army of demons to save all of you.”
Amestele glared at him, but no words left her.
Malakai shifted, grabbing my wrist and tugging me along with him, leaving her behind.
“I can’t believe you picked a fight with another leader,” I mumbled behind him. “Do you want the alliance to fall apart?”
“As if she can withdraw now,” he huffed. “They can’t back down before the Ashen Corps, or they’ll be branded as the weaker faction, doomed to face the demons all by themselves, a fight they wouldn’t survive.”
Not long ago, I would’ve hated this arrogance of his. Now? I was reassured by his words, because I knew he rarely said things without having thought through every possible outcome.
It didn’t stop me from questioning him from time to time though.
“You’re overthinking it,” I heard a new voice, and my eyes darted to a figure stomping through camp.
“Ashley!” I shot out, happy to see her alive and… completely combusting with rage?
“Oh really?” Nate snapped, chasing after her. “You were distracted by the dirt-guy molding stupid birds out of mud. MUD. What a lousy way to flirt.”
“It was not flirting,” Ashley hissed back, eyes shooting daggers at him.
Yikes.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Nate snorted. “What do you call it then? Playing with dirt together?”
“Gods, Nate!” Ashley barked, stopping in her tracks.
I saw how Nate took a heavy breath, his expression shifting. Suddenly all his anger was washed away. “I just… don’t want you to get distracted out there.” He cleared his throat, the following words seemed harder to push out. “I… I can’t lose you too, you know.”
Ashley stiffened, her fingers curling for a moment before her shoulders sagged.
“Then maybe,” she said quietly, “you should stop treating me like I’m already gone.”
With that, she continued walking.
Malakai let go of my wrist. “You go defuse the bomb; I’ll pick up the shattered glass.”
I glared at him for comparing them to objects, but still turned on my heel and went after Ashley.
“Ashley,” I shouted after her, but she kept storming away, towards the outskirts of camp, until finally going straight into the woods. “Hey, stop or I’ll shoot you in the foot!”
It had no effect at all.
Shit, she must be really pissed off.
“You stop right there, or I swear I’m going to rearrange your explosives and put the wrong tag on them,” I barked furiously.
She stopped almost immediately. “You’re a monster to even threaten me with such horrible things.” She sniffled between her words.
“Unbelievable,” I chuckled surprised. “You care more about the bombs than your own damned foot?”
She huffed. “My foot would heal. My grenades, I would have to remake them from scratch.”
“I’ll never question a craftswoman’s love for their work again.” I shook my head at her and a faint smile spread on her lips, as she wiped away a few escaping tears.
“So, talk to me, who do we hate?” I continued, giving her a firm look.
She chuckled low, bending her head slightly back. “Me.”
I snorted and crossed my arms, waiting for her to continue.
“I’m serious,” she said, her eyes finally reaching mine and I had to fight not to stagger from the intensity inside of them. She was clearly hurting, something gnawing at her from the inside.
“Nate’s right.”
“That’s… odd.” I tried joking to lighten the mood.
“I… I envy you.” Her voice came out quiet, shaky. “Letting yourself feel, get hurt, be loved.”
“Ashley, we lo—”
“That’s not it. I care about you guys too, you’re the closest thing I’ll ever get to a family again.” Her hand began fidgeting, eyes averting mine. “But I can’t love someone in that way.”
“Why not?” My arms slowly unfolded, suddenly unsettled by her words.
“You’re all strong, you break and still get back up,” her body began trembling, as another tear escaped her eye. “I can’t do that… Not again.”
“You’re blaming yourself, aren’t you…?” I took a step closer and her arms slithered around her own body, as if trying to hold herself together.
“You’re saying you can’t love because you fear breaking? Because you’re already at the bottom… Already broken?”
A sob escaped her and I went for it, quick steps before my arms swung around her and held her tightly against me. Her whole body quaked, slowly letting the pain out, showing her true broken side.
“How can I live happily, when really I should’ve been dead long ago?” Ashley whimpered, her head burrowed into my shoulder. “It should’ve been me Ethalyn… I stole her future. It should’ve been me!”
It felt as if I was holding glass, and suddenly it all broke in my arms, shattering into thousands of pieces, piercing me along with it. I wanted to cry, because she was hurting.
And I couldn’t do anything about it.
“Shh,” I murmured, patting her head as tears began pushing against the corners of my eyes. “You stole nothing, Mauria made that decision all on her own.”
Her twin sister, who decided to die in her stead when a group of thugs came for Ashley’s life. A selfless act in most eyes, but in Ashley’s, I could see how it seemed more like a curse rather than a blessing.
“I’m sorry,” Ashley sniveled, trying to collect her broken pieces once more. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Shut it, of course you can talk to me,” I snapped, striking the top of her head lightly with the side of my hand. “I’m your girl.”
She chuckled lightly, hugging me back. “Yeah, you’re my girl.”