Chapter 12
CHAPTER
Night bled across the camp, unnaturally dark, and the small flickers of flames were the only remains of the campfire.
Most had settled down hours ago. Even Caleb and Faelin were curled up in their respective bedrolls, a bit away from us, but still close enough to hear us breathe.
I had my bedroll between Malakai’s and Ashley’s. I was facing away from the fire, and away from the two figures keeping watch beside it.
Malakai and Lionel.
My bedroll was warm, but my chest was not. Sleep hovered, coy and distant, the earlier confrontation replaying in my head, each echo sharp.
Our team was divided, and I didn’t know how to unite us. The only way I knew was the one we had created ourselves; fighting together until we trusted our lives with our squadmates once again.
Lionel’s voice broke my thoughts and the low crackle of fire.
“I lost her to you.”
My fingers curled around my blanket as I froze.
What?
Malakai didn’t respond, not immediately. I imagined him looking at Lionel with that infuriating calm of his, waiting for him.
Lionel continued, voice quiet but steady.
“I used to think I’d be the one by her side, that I should be. I knew her first, grew up with her.” A soft laugh, but not one of amusement. “I thought that meant something.”
Malakai still said nothing and I felt an unease growing inside of me at the growing tension. Was Lionel picking a fight with Malakai, too?
“I thought I could protect her better than anyone,” Lionel went on. “But when I saw her fires… I hesitated. Recoiled from it, from her.” He drew a breath. “And I knew then, I’d already lost.”
My throat tightened.
He wasn’t picking a fight; he was opening up about his feelings… to Malakai, nonetheless.
“You’re a bit late to the realization.” Malakai finally spoke, voice low but there was no taunt.
Lionel huffed. “I know, I’m not asking for comfort.”
Silence again.
Then Malakai’s tone softened, not warm, but acknowledging. “Takes strength to admit defeat.”
“It’s not defeat,” Lionel corrected. “It’s trust… I trust her choice, and… I trust that you’ll protect her, even from herself, if needed.”
The flames from the campfire crackled and my eyes widened. There was no way I could fall asleep now. Lionel was putting his guard down, showing a side he had let no one else but me see.
I could almost feel Malakai turn towards him.
“I don’t protect her because she needs it,” Malakai said. “I protect her because I want to be the one standing next to her when she incinerates the world or saves it, whichever comes first.”
“Incinerates the world?” Lionel echoed, confusion in his voice.
I bit my lower lip, cursing him for even mentioning it to Lionel, who took everything literally.
A slow dry chuckle left Malakai. “I don’t care if she chooses to save the world or destroy it really, as long as she’s choosing to stay alive in it. I’ll fight for whatever side that keeps her breathing.”
My heart stuttered.
Lionel was quiet for a moment.
“Yeah,” he murmured, sounding more at ease again. “That’s why I can live with losing.”
Something in my chest ached and healed all at once.
I pressed my face further into the pillow, eyes burning.
They thought I was asleep, but how could I be when they were talking about me like this?
For a while, it seemed as if they were done and my heart calmed somewhat.
“I thought I lost her, too…” Malakai continued suddenly, unexpectedly low.
Lionel shifted, perhaps turning to study him.
I tried staying still as best I could to avoid getting caught being awake, my fingers frozen around the blanket.
Malakai continued, voice barely louder than the whisper of the desperate dying flames. “In the battle at Rimefield, when I… pretended to turn on her.” His jaw must have tightened—I could hear it in his tone. “I told myself she would understand it was a ruse, that she would see through it.”
A pause, long and heavy, loaded with feelings that slammed against me.
“She didn’t,” he finished quietly and my heart ached.
I had never thought about it like that. I had hurt him by not seeing through his facade, yet he had never mentioned it nor acted differently towards me, while I handled it like a child.
The fire seemed to dim, as if it was hurting too.
Lionel drew another slow breath.
“She hesitated,” he acknowledged.
Malakai gave a low hum. “She doubted me.”
Silence stretched heavily, this was getting even more awkward.
Stupid. Why couldn’t I fall asleep and avoid this? I didn’t want to eavesdrop on them, instead I pressed my eyes tighter together.
Then, Lionel spoke, more measured than before.
“I saw it. That’s when I thought… maybe I could get her back.”
My eyes slowly opened, even if I stared at a peacefully sleeping Ashley, I could almost imagine Lionel’s face along the words.
Malakai didn’t react, at least not audibly. No shift, no growl and no mockery. He simply waited patiently for him to continue.
Lionel exhaled hard. “I tried to use that hesitation. I thought if I could be steady when you faltered… if I could be what you weren’t… she’d look at me again.”
“Why didn’t it work?” Malakai asked, flat and controlled. Anyone who didn’t know him might’ve thought it a mocking question, but it was simply curiosity, wanting to know why it failed despite the hard work.
Lionel’s answer came without hesitation.
“Because I realised that she didn’t look at you like she was betrayed,” he said softly. “She looked at you like she was hurt.”
My breath hitched.
Lionel continued, voice raw and unguarded.
“That’s when I knew, she would never look at me like that again.
Not after how I reacted to her abilities, how I turned away from her.
Not after I—” He broke off, clearing his throat.
Then steadier, he continued, “The way she looks at you… that is how she used to look at me, back when we were kids. Back before I made her feel ashamed of herself.”
The fire had almost died by now.
Malakai didn’t speak, and neither did Lionel.
I exhaled slowly, trying to steady myself to avoid letting my feelings get me caught.
But my heart, traitorous and loud, drummed against the earth, and I thanked the Gods they couldn’t hear it.
Lionel’s words hung in the air, and no one moved.
Then, Malakai exhaled, not quite a sigh. More like something he’d been holding onto finally leaving him.
“Is that so?” he said at last, voice unreadable.
“Promise me, you won’t hurt her,” Lionel said quietly.
“I’d rather die than hurt her,” Malakai said sharply, before his voice softened slightly. “You’re a good man, Lionel.”
Lionel let out a low, almost humorless breath that could’ve been a laugh, or a release of tension.
“Don’t go getting sentimental on me,” he muttered.
“Wasn’t planning to.”
There was a beat of stiff silence before Lionel stood, quickly, like remaining seated would anchor him to the vulnerability he’d just spilled. “Thanks for… you know.”
He strode a few paces away. I wondered what he looked like, if he felt relief or tension. But I didn’t dare to turn around to peek at them.
Malakai didn’t move.
Neither of them spoke again.
Morning came slowly, not with birdsong or golden light, but with the weight of limbs.
I woke to find myself suffocating underneath the heavy burden of affection.
Ashley had plastered herself against my back like a girl clinging to her doll, one leg slung over my hip and her nose buried in my hair. She was drooling. On me.
On my other side, Malakai had apparently decided that sleep was an excellent time to make declarations of ownership. One arm was wrapped firmly around my waist, the other tucked under my neck like a pillow he had no intention of sharing.
I was pinned, thoroughly.
A human-demon burrito, unable to move.
I cracked one eye open.
Across the embers of a new campfire, Eve was already awake, arms crossed, leaned back against a log with the kind of unimpressed stare usually reserved for burning buildings.
She raised a brow the moment our eyes met.
“Well,” she drawled, “looks like someone had an eventful night.”
I mouthed ‘help me’.
She sipped slowly from her tin cup, savoring her superiority.
“No,” she said. “I’m enjoying this.”
I tried wiggling.
Ashley only nuzzled closer with a content hum.
Malakai’s grip tightened like a warning to stay put.
Eve snorted. “Careful, move too much and they’ll start growling over you.”
I whispered back, voice strained against the weight of both of them. “This is not consensual snuggling.”
“Sure it isn’t,” Eve replied dryly. “You look devastated.”
I glared, but she only smirked.
“Want me to wake them?” she asked.
My gaze darted between the sleeping chaos enveloping me.
Ashley drooled again, while Malakai made a possessive rumble.
“No,” I sighed. “They look peaceful.”
Eve grinned like a wolf.
“Thought so.”
Ashley shifted behind me, blinking awake with a groggy hum.
“Mmm, morning, sunshine,” she mumbled into my hair. “You’re so warm.”
Before I could answer, Malakai’s arm tightened from the other side, not awake yet, but instinctively responding like an animal guarding its territory.
Ashley paused and I felt her stiffen as she peered over me and scowled.
“Oi, demon.” She poked Malakai’s bicep like it offended her existence. “Hands off. She’s my best friend, not your personal hugging bag.”
Malakai’s eyes opened slowly, no alarm, no startle. Just lazy scarlet focus sliding first to Ashley, then down to me in his grasp. His lips curled, unhurried, unbothered.
“Incorrect,” he rumbled, voice thick with sleep. “She’s mine, first and always.”
Ashley gasped dramatically. “Excuse you? I found her first. Ashen-Corps-Trials-best-friends rule. You’re the intruder in this cuddle pile.”
Malakai tilted his head, lips quirking in a smug smile. “She sleeps quieter with me. Plus, you drool.”
Ashley clutched her chest. “Slander.”
“I am lying right here,” I hissed, or tried to. It came out more like a strangled wheeze under the combined weight of ego and limbs.
Eve sighed like she was being personally harassed by our very survival.