CHAPTER
I couldn’t remember anything.
When was our last kiss?
When was his last smile?
What were his last words again?
The memory of him was the only thing that kept me going, but it was slowly fading, replaced by a motionless replica of him that dangled from Nate’s back.
I heard nothing.
Their mouths kept moving, our legs kept walking, yet I felt nothing.
“Ethalyn,” I heard his voice in my head, caressing. My body reacted, eyes searching for him, pulse quickening.
Where? Where was he?
Whenever I closed my eyes I saw those scarlet red globes looking at me, softening just for me.
The twitch at the corner of his lips, when we fought.
I didn’t want to open my eyes again; I didn’t want to continue walking.
The only way to escape reality was to close my eyes and find him there, waiting.
The sun rose, but no light was found in my eyes. Dusk came, yet somehow death never wanted to claim me, no matter how I begged it to.
Ashley had a meltdown, she looked upset, she was probably screaming, her eyes burning and cheeks covered in a blush.
For a moment it looked like she was about to strike me, her arm lifted, hand wide open, eyes glaring at me.
But then she broke down and cried, recognizing her own pain in my empty eyes.
She of all people knew.
I had no tears left, I merely stared into nothingness, not even realizing whether anyone was standing in front of me or not.
I was neither living nor dying, in this cruel place he had left me. The world could’ve ended and I wouldn’t have noticed. Honestly, I would’ve welcomed it. Lionel cleaned my hands and face, the cloth red with all the dried blood.
My blood.
His blood.
Our blood.
Lionel’s eyes were soft, yet pain lingered in them every time he looked at me. I was a shell of the girl he once knew. What broke him the most? Seeing me like this or not being able to do anything about it?
One day they wrapped a large piece of cloth around Malakai’s body, obscuring his face. I went feral, the first emotion I felt in what seemed like forever. They froze in place as they watched me claw at the cloth while screaming. Lionel’s arms held tightly around me, like a cage, holding me back.
Forcing me to stay in this world.
My flames erupted then, forcing them back as I fought my way to Malakai, ripping the cloth away.
His face was pale, cold and stiff to the touch, killing my flames instantly. I curled up next to him, placing his limp arm around me, trembling.
I wondered if he was able to see me still, what damage he had caused, what mess he had made me into.
Most of all, I wanted to know if he regretted it all, seeing me cast my life away when he could’ve lived instead.
We reached the camp beyond the Demon Land’s borders. Lionel met with the soldiers, Ashley stayed glued to my side, while Jaden and Nate carried Malakai.
My eyes were locked on him; I couldn’t look away. I feared that the moment I did, he’d disappear forever, that I’d never see him again.
That this nightmare indeed was my reality.
Everything besides him was a blur. I only noticed other things moving inches from my eyes. I saw a figure emerging from my periphery, waving a hand in front of me, yet I never tore my gaze away.
“What’s wrong with her?” I heard a familiar voice… Was it Amestele, the leader of the Aetherions?
“We… Lost many along the way,” Lionel said, his voice all warped. “We haven’t been able to come to terms with it yet…”
“The Demon?” Amestele snorted dismissively.
My eyes flared, fire igniting my entire body as they flinched around me. Her careless voice, her unbothered stance—we had gone through hell and she wondered why we were damaged?
“I wouldn’t provoke her in her current state,” Ashley threatened beside me. “No matter what she decides, we’re on her side. If you taunt her into mass slaughter, that’s on you.”
“What? She simply broke down?” Amestele asked uninterested, not taking Ashley’s warning to heart.
“She’s… processing,” Nate chimed in, his voice concerned.
“We’ll take it from here,” Amestele waved off. “With the Demon King gone, the demons will be confused, we should strike now.”
“Agreed,” another voice added.
Izera, the leader of the Ashen Corps. She stepped up towards Jaden and Nate, her gaze on Malakai. “I guess he deserves a proper funeral at least…”
“What?” I stammered and everyone froze.
Izera and Amestele turned to me, the others barely breathed as they watched me. Fire licked my skin, light pulsating from my very skin. Red thin threads swirled around my wrist, growing weaker by the moment. “A what?”
“What is that?” Amestele asked, her eyes narrowing on the blood magic swirling around me.
“A funeral,” Izera repeated, ignoring the Aetherion leader. “He was a First Lieutenant, and he helped slay the Demon King. That calls for a well-deserved send-off, does it not?”
My eyes finally slid to Izera’s and she flinched when mine met hers.
“He’s just resting.”
Her face turned pale, as my flames climbed higher in the air, threatening.
“We’ll continue this later, for now it would be better if you gave us some quiet,” Lionel commanded and Izera took a faltering step back.
Amestele stared amazed at me. “Why don’t we send her? She looks like she’d be able to tear the whole world down right now. She even has his power.”
“Because if we do, she wouldn’t stop with the demons,” Nate snapped, earning himself a couple of glares. “Do you even care for what she’s going through?”
Amestele’s jaw tensed for a brief second. “We’ve all lost loved ones, this is no different.”
“And yet,” I said, digging my glare into her. “You stayed here, like a coward, sending both your men and the Ashen Corps to do the fighting.”
“You were supposed to join along with your troops with only a day’s delay…” Eve reminded her. “They arrived three days later, almost too late and you weren’t there.”
“They stumbled upon trouble that delayed them, how am I supposed to foresee that?” Amestele asked accusingly. “Besides, we can’t send all leaders at once, there would’ve been none left to manage things if the mission went south.”
There it was.
The raw lust for power yet again. Had we learned nothing in all these years?
There would always be people like her, with greed for more, and the question was, how long before she leaned into dabbling with demons to claim that power?
How long before a new powerful force would tear its way into our realm?
They all would’ve dismissed it now, denied it, but I saw it, clearer than ever before.
It was only a matter of desperation and greed before the kind of being that lurked on the other side of that call answered.
My heart stuttered. ‘You reached out for my magic; I don’t miss when you call for me’.
Ah… I was just as corrupted as she was, wasn’t I?
“Careful,” I sneered. “That sounded an awful lot like you wanted to throw everyone away so you could claim the throne all to yourself. Greed is a dangerous thing, you know, especially in a land full of demons.”
“Ethalyn,” Lionel barked, trying to keep things from escalating.
I was done being nice.
“We lost thousands throughout the years, and you lost three on this mission,” Amestele said through her teeth.
“I’m sorry for your loss, but don’t pretend that we haven’t suffered.
You mistake my care for greed; I’ll look the other way considering your current state…
But I warn you, your carelessness could cost you this whole alliance, and Michlael is not here to save you any longer. ”
With that she strode off. Izera sighed, crossing her arms as she tried to figure out where she was standing.
“You all did great out there… I understand your grief, but lashing out against everyone else won’t heal those wounds.
” Her eyes landed on me, cold and firm. “We’ll head out in the morning. Keep the demons at bay.”
“Now the demons are important enough?” I scoffed.
Her eyes flared, but Lionel stepped in.
“Stop this,” he snapped at both of us. “Give us a moment to breathe, to feel safe and catch up to everything we went through. Give us a fucking break.” His voice rang out and Izera bit her lower lip to not bark back.
“Fine,” she muttered. “We’ll discuss this in the morning.” Izera sent one last glance towards me, before she took off.
“Well, that wasn’t awkward at all,” Nate murmured.
“No, it was fantastic!” Ashley sighed. “Why Lionel, why did you stop them? Ethalyn was finally giving them some well-deserved bark!”
Lionel slid his cold eyes towards Ashley.
“I don’t think Ethalyn’s the only one losing her mind here,” Jaden said scratching his neck while averting his gaze.
“He’s simply trying to defuse the bomb that’s about to obliterate everything we’ve worked for,” Eve said, side-eyeing me.
“Oh, did you just use bombs as a metaphor? Damn, I’m flattered, but I’m not interested in you,” Ashley snickered but Eve only glared at her.
Ashley sighed, placing herself in front of me and staring me down. My eyes slid to him again.
She grabbed my chin, yanking my attention back to her. “Listen here, you—” She stopped herself, searching for the right words.
As I stared at her, her eyes widened for a brief second and I wondered if she was about to break down again, but she slammed her teeth into her lower lip, refusing.
“He’s gone.”
My flames flared and my teeth clenched, the pain consumed me as if she had stabbed me with a dagger through my heart.
“Ash!” Nate snapped.
“What are you doing?” Lionel joined in, grabbing Ashley’s shoulder but she shrugged him off.
“She needs the truth!” She snapped at them, sounding more annoyed than ever. “He is gone, and I’m so sorry, but you can’t turn into a nasty little Eve.”
“Hey!” Eve clenched her teeth angrily.
I stared at her, waiting for whatever point she was trying to make, but Lionel interrupted.
“Don’t,” he said, grabbing a hold of Ashley. She looked more confused than anything by his sudden need to act. “Don’t push her, give her some time.”
“It wasn’t a push, it’s tough love,” Ashley defended.
“I’d say it was a slap in the face, but yeah,” Nate shrugged.
The campfire fluttered in the wind.
I looked down at my hands in my lap, sparks dancing between my fingers like fireflies.
Nate had dragged Ashley away to eat, before she went feral on me. It was nothing personal, only her way of showing her concerns, I knew that…
Lionel sat on the log across the fire, eyes never leaving me, waiting, either for me to break completely or do something incredibly dumb.
Eve came to check up on him, pacing, not sure what to do with herself. We weren’t close enough to check in with each other, but we weren’t distant enough to not worry.
I heard a grunt next to me and tried to ignore it, but when I saw something white in the corner of my eyes, I couldn’t hold back.
Jaden carried Malakai over, placing him next to me, before releasing an exhausted pant.
“There, happy?” he asked, looking at me.
The question itself burned deep.
Happy?
Would I ever be again?
Lionel noticed, nothing went past him. “Maybe rephrase that?”
Jaden cleared his throat. “Sorry, didn’t mean it like… Shit.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, his black hair dancing over his eyes.
A single tear slid down my cheek.
Why?
Why did he look so damned peaceful, even in death?
Jaden placed himself on my other side, releasing a sigh. “Go eat, Lionel. I’ll keep watch in the meantime.”
Lionel’s jaw tensed. “Don’t make her cry… I won’t forgive you if you do.”
Jaden huffed quietly.
A few seconds passed, hesitation lingering in the air, before Lionel rose and went to eat with the others.
Jaden leaned in on his knees, watching me.
“What?” I asked low, feeling how his stare was burning at my skin as if waiting for me to ask.
“I was just thinking how lucky he is.”
My brow twitched, half-confused, half-irritated.
“What?”
“Having someone mourn him that deeply, having someone who love him despite his nature… I can almost see his arrogant satisfaction.”
I turned, staring at him. His face was blank, his eyes now on Malakai… The look in his eyes… He looked like he was envious of him.
“Look, Ethalyn…” Jaden’s eyes swept around, making sure no one eavesdropped. “Are you… going to get him back?”
My eyes widened, breath caught in my throat. “What?”
“Really? You haven’t even thought of it?” He looked annoyed now. His hand rose, before he flicked my forehead. “Dumbass. Where do demons go?”
My eyes narrowed on him. “What are you—”
“There was no quartz in his body when he died,” he cut through my voice.
“Where is he?” I whispered, broken.
“Demons go back to their realm once they die, which means—” Jaden began, eyes locking with mine.
“He’s still alive,” I breathed out, my heart stuttering.
Jaden nodded slowly. “Well, the demon side of him at least, I don’t really know how it works for… half-breeds.”
My pulse was quickening. Was it possible? Could we get him back? How did one even get to their realm?
“So… you’re going?” Jaden asked again, seeking confirmation.
My eyes focused on him, a new unease spreading inside of me. “Why are you so keen on me going?”
His jaw ticked as he looked into the fire for a brief moment.
“Do you even know if it’s possible for humans to get there, or are you trying to give me false hope?” I muttered bitterly.
When his eyes turned back to me, my breath caught.
His blue eyes were glowing.
“Yes… Yes, I do know how to get there.”