Chapter 13 Dolly
DOLLY
Agentle rocking motion rouses me. I’m still half asleep, but I don’t want to leave the dream.
Imaginary Sam is playing with his rope and tying knots over and over.
It’s an odd setting because I’m somehow watching him from the claw-foot bathtub in my room.
He doesn’t know I’m watching. My fingers slip underneath the water between my legs to touch myself while my eyes focus on the movement of his fingers.
It’s an unusual thing to find arousing, but a man with rough hands who can effortlessly tie knots makes my skin heat. I sigh, my nipples puckering as they lift above the water.
Suddenly, his T-shirt disappears, and sweat drips down the center of his bare, muscled chest. I’m on the verge of coming to a conjuring of my subconscious, which might be more embarrassing than coming on his lap on a rocking boat.
“Sam …” I groan, wishing he’d come toward me and use the ropes on me.
A noise startles me awake with a jolt. I blink in the darkness, gasping when I see a big shadow of a man looming in the doorway. Sam turns, and I sigh in relief.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” he says, his voice an octave lower than usual.
I nod, licking my suddenly dry lips. “I was … dreaming. Did you just … did you carry me to bed?”
He nods, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. The jolt into reality from a dirty dream is making my head swim.
His hand moves up to press against the doorjamb, highlighting his shoulder muscle in the light from the hallway. “You were talking in your sleep.”
My face drains of color. “Oh.”
I can still feel the damp spot of arousal between my legs. The painfully obvious reality that he knows how badly I want him makes me want to crawl under the covers and never come back out. He looks over my frame once more with a dark expression before turning to leave without another word.
As his footsteps retreat down the hall, a choked sob tears out of the back of my throat. I have to stop this. I can’t keep fantasizing about Sam, wishing he’d finally return my ridiculous crush and make a move on me.
We don’t get a happily ever after. He’s not the one for me.
I have such raging trust issues with men after what happened with Cain that I’ve been terrified to really put myself out there to meet guys, but enough is enough.
In a perfect world, my brother’s best friend would fall for me, and I’d know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was reliable and safe and good.
But maybe that’s not what I need. Maybe I need to push my own boundaries and start getting serious about dating. I can’t read romantasy werewolf novels and use my vibrator forever.
Well, I could, but I want more than that. I want a warm body to snuggle with. I want someone who buys me flowers, takes me on date nights, loves to eat my cooking and kiss me, even when I have morning breath.
I grab my phone from where I left it charging on the nightstand and pull up the dating app, Soulties. My heart rate increases when I see that I’ve received five new messages.
Most of them are pretty run-of-the-mill hellos, but one of them stands out. The username is intriguing, especially after my sex dream. A guy who knows how to use a rope is exactly what I need.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Let’s skip this part and just get married.
I snort at the cheesy line, typing out a response.
@redreads
That would be quite the jump from anonymous texting, but let’s see how the week goes.
I hit Send before tapping on his profile to read the basic information the app shows when you match. If we send twenty-five messages in a day, it will unlock new information about us to share with the other person. To my surprise, he starts typing out a response right away.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
My friend wrote out that message and made me this profile. He thinks I need a relationship.
@redreads
Do you? Does that mean ropes and chains don’t excite you?
@ropesandchainsexciteme
I’m trying to get over someone. Oh, no, ropes definitely excite me. I’m open to chains, but I don’t think they’d be needed unless the ropes break.
I bite my lip, loving the way he’s so up front and honest immediately.
@redreads
I have a thing for ropes.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
I’ve got a lot of experience with ropes. What’s your thing?
@redreads
I want to get tied up. Well, I should probably have regular vanilla sex first. But then I want to get tied up.
Telling Ropes I’m a virgin so soon is probably not a great idea, but I feel like being recklessly honest.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
How old are you?
@redreads
Twenty-three.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Damn. And you’re still a virgin?
@redreads
Long story, but yes. Is that a problem for you?
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Not as long as it’s not a problem for you that I’m not.
@redreads
It’s not. How old are you?
I don’t know when the app releases our ages to each other, but I set my preferences to only go from twenty-two to thirty.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Twenty-five. I’ve had one long-term relationship.
That must be the girl he’s trying to get over.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
I’d be happy to tie you up.
@redreads
I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’m ready for a relationship now though. I’m also trying to get over someone.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Guy must have really fucked up if he hurt you like that, but you never dated him.
@redreads:
You have no idea. He’s a jerk with a capital J.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Maybe I should beat him up.
The image makes me snort.
@redreads
Not gonna lie, I’d pay to see that. Have you ever been in a fight?
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Quite a few. If I knock him out, can I get a kiss?
@redreads
On the cheek. But just a warning, he’s a big guy. And I know he does some kind of underground fighting ring with my brother. Are you sure you can take him on?
The chat goes silent for a few minutes. My eyelids grow heavy while I wait for him to respond. Finally, the chat lights up again.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
I can take him. You should get some sleep, Red. I’ll text you tomorrow.
@redreads
Good night, Ropes.
I slowly drift off to sleep, a soft smile on my lips.
I wake up happy the next morning with a text from Ben and one from Ropes lighting up my screen. I’m more excited about Ropes, but finally hearing from Ben again is nice. He wants to meet up for another date and asks me if everything is okay after what happened with my brother and Sam.
The text from Ropes stupidly makes me smile.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Good morning, Red. How’d you sleep?
It’s ridiculous how easily I get butterflies from a guy who I’ve never met and I don’t even know what he looks like. There’s something about the confidence, interest, and just how easy he is to talk to.
And I’m trying to get over someone who very confidently ignores and rejects me on a daily basis.
Speak of the devil, Sam walks into the kitchen as I’m making myself a taco bowl for lunch. I just finished baking all the goodies Rosie and I are selling at the farmers market in the morning, and the entire house smells like cinnamon and vanilla.
My yellow cotton sundress is cut in a baby-doll style with spaghetti straps, hanging loosely down to my mid-thigh. I tied Sam’s grandmother’s apron over it and pulled my hair back into a high, messy bun with a few loose strands in the front.
He stops and stares at me for a few long moments.
I raise a brow, and he blinks before shaking his head and walks over to the fridge.
He reaches in and grabs the leftovers that Lolita prepared and left here three days ago.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to offer to make him a taco bowl, but I resist the urge.
I’m getting over him. Doing wifely things like making lunch for him is not the way to go about it.
I sit down at the round table in the breakfast nook that overlooks the backyard. It has cute, frilly little café curtains over the bay windows that I love. Sam’s grandmother had almost my exact decor style. It’s girlie and country, warm whites, scalloped edges and wood tones.
When I was growing up, she called me her little princess. Losing her only two years after my own mother’s passing put a dent in my heart that I don’t think will ever fully heal.
I pull out my phone and type out a text to Ben.
Ben
How’s next weekend for a date night? Can you sneak away?
Dolly
I probably can. What do you want to go do?
Then I switch over to the Soulties app.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
I wanna know what you look like. Red hair?
@redreads
No, actually, but I didn’t even think about that when I made the name, ha-ha. I have black hair.
He starts typing right away. I glance up to see Sam on his phone, eating the cold chicken enchiladas as he stands at the kitchen counter.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
I have a thing for dark hair.
I nibble on my food, smiling down at my phone as I type out a response.
@redreads
Don’t tell me that. I’m already incredibly vain about my hair.
@ropesandchainsexciteme
Hmm, does that mean you’re opposed to me pulling it?
Heat crawls up my spine. I sneak a look at Sam and see that he’s still on his phone. A sudden, gripping fear spikes in my veins that he could be Ropes.
I clear my throat. “Um, who are you texting?”
He doesn’t look at me. “Duke. He’s coming over to help me brand the steers.”
A sigh escapes my lips. Silly thought.
“Who are you texting?” he asks.
I lift my chin. “Ben. He’s taking me out again this week, and you are not to interfere.”
He chuckles. “Is that right?”
A spark of anger ignites in my chest. I stab at my food. “I’ve been trapped in this house with you all week long. Whoever wrote the letter isn’t going to do anything to me in broad daylight.”
He grabs my half-full glass of water that’s sitting on the counter, lifts it to his lips, and gulps it down. I watch his Adam’s apple bob until he finishes it and places it back on the counter.
Drinking my water shouldn’t be that hot. I need help.