14. Kellan
Chapter Fourteen
Kellan
Idrove home from Layla’s place with the same sensation I’d had the night before: my heart heavy regarding what she was facing.
Fucking cancer.
Of all the guesses I could’ve thrown out there, that one hadn’t even crossed my mind.
When her brother had first revealed she was staying in town, I’d selfishly been thrilled.
But once I’d discovered the real reason she was still here, guilt had settled in.
I would rather she’d have left for a year than have to battle that disease.
It hadn’t been easy keeping my distance while she’d been in the hospital, but honestly, my doing so had probably been for the best. I didn’t want to take a chance she might see me waver or struggle with this new information.
I didn’t want her to pick up on how devastated I actually was.
This was obviously a disaster for her personally, but also for what I’d envisioned could potentially happen between us.
Remaining a part of her life wouldn’t be easy.
Dating while she went through this battle was going to be tough.
But since when had I taken the easy way out in anything?
The odds were stacked against us, but I’d always been a fighting-the-odds kind of guy.
In addition, I couldn’t fathom not having her in my life.
I found myself thinking about her constantly.
But it had been a shock to learn that she’d just ended a long-term relationship.
Literally a month ago, she’d been in love with another man.
This meant I’d been the rebound. Looking back, I could see all the signs.
She hadn’t wanted anything but sex. She’d left me after that first night.
She hadn’t said anything to indicate she desired something beyond the week we’d spent together.
That gave me enough pause to question whether this had a real chance. Halting at the red light, I scrubbed a hand over my face, indecisive about what to do.
I supposed the best thing to do was give her space to deal with her new reality.
Plus, she needed a chance to heal over the heartbreak caused by her jackass ex-boyfriend.
Now that she was out of the hospital and only miles from where I lived, I was having trouble keeping away from her.
Hadn’t I already found excuses to see her two nights in a row?
But that needed to change, otherwise, I’d completely overstep and crowd her.
Layla’s insecurity about regaining the sexual part of our relationship had taken me off guard.
Then again, the majority of our time together had been spent in bed.
But sex wasn’t all we’d had. At least not for me.
I hoped I’d responded the right way to her remark about the third week after chemo.
Her body needed to heal before we navigated that road.
Shit. Maybe I was crazy to believe this fledgling relationship had a chance.
But I couldn’t imagine backing out now. Not because of her cancer, but rather because I remembered what it had felt like last Friday when she’d left me.
I’d been devastated to think I wouldn’t see her for another year.
So, we’d take it slow and get to know one another better in the process.
Hopefully, her brother, Russ, would help me avoid saying the wrong thing. Since he’d texted me earlier to call him after I left, I did so now using the speed dial on my truck console.
“Hey, man,” he answered.
“Hey.”
“How is she?”
“Good. We ate chowder, and she appeared to have more energy than yesterday.”
He blew out an audible breath. “I’m glad you’re there. I realize you’re not checking on her for me, but I appreciate your updates since you’ve seen her in person.”
“I felt the same when it was you at the hospital who was keeping me posted.”
“I wish she’d let me go with her on Monday for chemo.”
There went the answer to that unasked question. “She’s determined to go alone?”
“It would seem so. But I also think if she has me there, she’d have to explain to my mom why she doesn’t want her there. Easier to say she doesn’t want anyone.”
Even given my limited time around her mother and the little I knew about their relationship, I wasn’t surprised. “Maybe I’ll convince her to take me.” So much for giving her space. I was already trying to find new ways to insert myself into her life.
“That would be good. You coming over on Saturday night for dinner?”
I’d need to work all day since I was behind from the time I’d taken off last week, but I was determined to make dinner. “I am.”
“Good.”
“You ever meet her ex?” I was curious.
“One time when I went down there to visit Layla. He was okay, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t see them in it for the long haul.” He sighed heavily. “Look, man, I need to get this off my chest because despite you being one of my best friends, I’m her brother.”
“What is it?”
“You’re a stand-up guy. One of the best I know.
But if your feelings have changed since learning about the cancer and finding out what’s in store for her, you should get out now.
I know it’s not fair to have to decide whether to be all-in this early, but the last thing she needs is someone who’ll leave her in the middle of this battle.
In the long run, it would hurt her less if you end things early rather than sometime down the road. ”
Because I knew he was acting in the best interest of someone he loved, I didn’t take offense. But I needed to dig deep to ask myself the question. My answer remained the same, however, as before I’d discovered she had cancer. “My feelings haven’t changed since I told you I believe she’s the one.”
My fantasy that we could continue the relationship on the high we’d started had altered into a new reality, but that wasn’t my biggest concern.
“If it’s my turn to be honest, finding out she just got out of a relationship a few weeks ago definitely makes me feel uneasy.
I don’t want to be the rebound.” The thought she might still be hurting over her ex soured my stomach.
He expelled a breath. “Do you know what my sister did after she found her ex cheating?”
“No. What?”
“She gave the girl he’d been cheating with a ride home.
Now, part of why she did that is because my sister is a badass with a heart of gold.
She felt sympathy for the poor girl who’d actually apologized—she hadn’t realized Chad was in a relationship with someone else.
But the other part of how Layla could have given the other woman a ride home is because I don’t think she was all that hurt by it.
Sure, her pride took a hit. And undoubtedly, she was angry.
But I think she was mostly upset that she’d trusted he could be there for her in her moment of crisis.
I believe she’d be the first to say that relationship wasn’t destined to last past the point where it got the least bit inconvenient for Chad. ”
I couldn’t fathom giving a ride home to the other party.
I’d been completely devastated when I’d walked in on my ex with Brandon.
To this day, anger remained when it came to my cousin.
He’d been the one person I’d trusted more than anyone else.
We’d had plans for our future together. But he’d chosen to throw them all away by betraying me with Carly.
So perhaps Layla wasn’t rebounding as hard as I’d first thought. “I appreciate you telling me that. We’re taking it slow. But believe that I’m invested.”
His tone was relieved. “Thanks for understanding why I had to put it out there. You know you’re both my two favorite people.”
“I get it; I really do.” I only hoped Russ was right about her being over her ex. “Anything I should know about Saturday night with your parents?”
“Other than the fact that at some point my mom will push Layla until she snaps, and then cry—? Nope.”
Family dynamics were a bitch. “So, I should bring beer is what you’re saying.”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”