Chapter 23 #3
“What's in that closet?” I managed to get out.
“Nothing you need to see.” His voice was firm, and he grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward the door. “Nothing important.”
No. This couldn't be it.
I pulled away from his grip.
“Where is it?”
“Where is what?”
I bit my tongue, hesitated.
“The gun…”
From The Lake To The Land
Foreign Fields
Davian stared at me as if I had slapped him.
“Quill, I...”
He pressed his lips together.
“Is that how you feel?” I lowered my voice and stepped closer. “Is it similar to the fear I’ve been feeling since yesterday? Did you want me to know what it feels like to be clueless about whether someone took their own life, when you could have prevented it?”
Davian held my gaze, even though his eyes were covered with a glassy film within seconds.
“Is this indirect revenge? Did you want us to be even?”
“Feather...”
The nickname made my heart skip a beat.
“Because I deserve it.” My voice trembled. “I deserve to understand how selfish I was that night. I didn't know it could trigger something in you.” Davian looked pale. “I'm sorry. And I can't undo it... but please...” Tears welled up in my eyes. “Please let's destroy this weapon.”
Davian's gaze filled with remorse, despair...
That hadn't been my intention.
He stepped closer and reached for my left hand. A shiver ran up the back of my arm.
“You're the last person who should feel sorry for anything... I should have thought about what I was giving you. In my pathetic desperation.”
He looked down at my hand. His jaw worked.
“No.” I shook my head hastily. “No, Davian. You have every right to show weakness in front of a friend.”
He looked up again, so close to tears that I wanted to take him in my arms, but the beeping of the microwave brought us both back to reality.
At least, that's what I thought, until the moment Davian's hand came to rest on my cheek and his thumb caught a tear I hadn't even noticed escaping my eye.
He looked at me intensely, almost desperately.
“As long as you have those bullets, nothing will happen to me.”
My concentration wavered under the warmth of his fingers.
He caught a second tear while gently stroking my hand with his other thumb.
Was that a quiet promise? Would that let me sleep at night?
God, what if he had seen in me a chance to protect himself and I had now unsettled him? The last thing I wanted was for him to question this friendship and the fact that he had opened up to me.
I nodded slowly, even though his words didn't convince me. I nodded for him. Because Davian seemed to need someone to take this burden off his shoulders. And if it came in the form of three pointed bullets that would accompany me in my pocket for the rest of my life, I would carry them. For him.
I Never Asked You
Atli ?rvarsson
“Dad?”
We both flinched, pulled our hands away from each other, and Davian immediately spun around and disappeared into the hallway.
Fuck.
I didn't even hear him on the stairs, as if he were sneaking through the house.
I waited a moment before going downstairs myself, wiping the tears from my face, and bumping into the puppy in the hallway, who greeted me joyfully.
“Dad?” I heard Lara from the kitchen. “Have you seen Quill?”
I hastily pulled my cell phone out, entered the kitchen, and they both turned to me, Davian in the process of filling the popcorn bowl.
“Sorry,” I raised my phone and looked at them apologetically. “My brother called.”
“Is everything okay?”
Lara's smile disappeared and Davian stared at me as if what had just happened upstairs hadn't happened and as if I had said something wrong.
Then I realized. But it was too late.
“Yes... well... Nothing bad. Just a stupid argument.”
God, now I was lying to both of them. How pathetic.
I should never have stayed up there near him, never looked for that gun in the first place.
Lara knew nothing. And I would never be able to explain to her that her dad and I were now friends.
“You have a brother?”
Davian looked at me as if he were ready to uncover every possible lie, but thankfully Lara was quicker.
“Yes.” She ran her fingers through her hair, as her dad always did, and started laughing. “An idiot who tries to use his little sister to fix a broken family.”
Now we both raised our eyebrows, but I couldn't stand the two of them lying to each other for my sake, so I snorted quietly.
“Yes, but it's not worth mentioning. We argue a lot.”
And now Anthony, who wasn't even here, had to take the blame for it.
They both stared at me, because Lara wasn't good at lying and Davian was probably worrying too much again, which was also overwhelming for me.
I took the popcorn from his hand and headed for the living room.
The two followed me and we watched the movie in silence until the end.
I had triggered something in both of their minds. And I didn’t like the extent to which my game of lies was growing. It was time to make it through the next two weeks and leave this place, never to return.
Do you know how close you came to opening a book
that must remain closed forever?
– Leaking Batteries Diary