Chapter 84
Davian
Monica
Atrianima had found a door that Quill had secretly opened for him, and overnight he had taken control of my life.
I hadn’t slept. I had been writing. All night long.
I didn’t know if I had already had three or five cups of coffee, or if it was the adrenaline in my system that was keeping my eyes open.
Overnight, the forum had blown up, filled with readers who were downright obsessed with my book, to the point where I was grateful to be anonymous.
I had received thousands of private messages, but hadn’t opened a single one.
The main chat, which kept crashing every now and then because so many people were arguing about who I might be, whether it was actually me, why I was talking to them, or what the second book might be about, was madness enough.
I looked down at my notes for the chapters, which I had tried to plan chronologically, just as Quill was so good at doing, when someone pushed open the door to my study and smiled at me with a broad grin.
Where’s My Love
SYML
Quill was already dressed for university, and I was supposed to check the time so I wouldn’t be late, but her smile held me in its spell.
That was her. The woman for whom I did all of this. The gasoline to my fire. And at the same time, the cool water on my body overheated by life.
She rushed toward me, and before I even had a chance to realize what was happening, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders from behind, leaned over me, and planted countless kisses in my hair.
Streusel came bounding into the room, bouncing around her as if he could sense her joy.
“Oh my God, Quill…,” I whispered, laughing, as she wouldn’t stop. “Lara could…”
But she kissed all my worries away, pressing more and more kisses into my hair, on my neck, and on my cheeks with a grin, so that I tilted my head back.
Her lips, which felt like rays of sunshine on my skin, made me smile, and warmth rushed to my face, just like butterflies to my stomach.
“Quill,” I laughed softly, and she came to my side, knelt down next to me beside my desk chair, and beamed at me like a child who had just been given a gift.
“You did it, Davian!”
She grabbed my arm, shook it until her eyes sparkled, and I was sure I was watching the most beautiful soul in this world trying to burst out of her body from joy.
She shook my arm again until I grinned and she jumped up.
“You did it, Davian! Oh my God!”
She hopped up and down in front of the chair, grabbed my face, and pulled me into a kiss, making my heart skip a beat and my arms wrap around her, pulling her onto my lap.
This time she looked alarmed toward the door, but I turned her chin toward me and whispered, “Without you, I never would have done it.”
Her smile returned and her eyes wandered to my lips, just as mine did to hers, before I pulled her toward me and closed the gap between us.
My ink. The reason I was still able to write.
I let my hands wander into her hair, trying to savor every bit of this kiss.
“You really did it…” she whispered into the kiss. “I’m proud of you.”
I sucked on her lower lip, which tasted faintly of toothpaste and coffee, and my heart skipped another beat until I smiled against her lips.
“Quill, we have to go! Where the hell are you?”
Quill pulled away from me, scrambled off me, and I couldn’t help but grin as she stormed out of my study.
Her hurried footsteps faded down the stairs.
She was proud of me.
And in that moment, I knew that was all that mattered. And that nothing else would ever matter again. Because I chose it.
First Day At School
Carlos Rafael Rivera
The campus was filled with groups of students chatting eagerly, just as my inbox was filled with emails from my publisher. And it left a grin plastered across my face, one I had to stifle if I didn’t want to draw attention to myself.
No one would have expected me to post on this forum, let alone publish a second book.
I couldn’t believe it myself, should have cursed myself, but all that drifted through my head was Quill’s smile.
She was proud of me.
And that was just the beginning. I would continue to surprise her, would do my best to be the man she wanted, until she no longer wanted me. But I wouldn’t think about that last part.
I was ready to give up everything for this woman, ready to pay whatever price it took to keep her in my life, even though it gave me a knot in my stomach and I had to plan my next steps carefully.
With a light step, I entered the philosophy department building and made my way toward Monica’s office to drop off the papers she had asked me to look over for her.
However, angry voices coming through the narrow opening of the ajar door made me stop in my tracks.
The Green Pills
Carlos Rafael Rivera
“You won’t even tell me what happened between you two,” Monica blurted out.
I was just about to turn around and bring her the folder later when I heard who she was talking to.
“Because it’s none of your damn business, Monica!”
Joseph’s voice made the blood in my veins run cold, chasing away any good mood I had.
As quietly as possible, I stepped back to the crack in the door, from where I could see Monica sorting her things at her desk while Joseph paced back and forth like a caged tiger.
“Talk to him, for God’s sake! What’s so hard about that?!”
He gestured wildly.
“Are you serious, Joseph? Are you seriously asking me to manipulate Davian just because you can’t manage to communicate with him?”
A furrow formed between my brows.
“You know he needs me,” Joseph said, sounding almost melodramatic, and I suppressed a snort.
The days when I had needed him were over. Once and for all.
I would help Quill get him out of Maplecrest. However she planned to do that.
“Maybe not anymore. Davian is an adult. God, he’s forty-two.”
Monica made me feel old.
“He has no control over his life! Do you want to know what he’s doing? What he’s doing with…”
Monica raised her hand and closed her eyes in resignation for a moment before she began hurriedly sorting through her things again.
“Whatever it is, he can tell me himself. He knows I’m here if he needs help.”
Joseph laughed.
“It took you quite a while, don’t you think?” His hand landed on his chest as he leaned over the desk toward her. “Without me, you’d never have gotten this far in life. And this is how you thank me?”
What on earth was he talking about? Monica had worked her way up the steep career ladder as a woman in this system. All on her own.
“I’m trying to make up for what I’ve missed.” She didn’t look at him, flipping hastily through a folder as if searching for something. “And I thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”
Their eyes met, even though I could only see Joseph’s back.
“But what’s going on between you two is none of my business.
And to be honest, I’m glad if he’s getting some distance from you and Arnold.
” She shoved the folder into her briefcase and kept rummaging without looking at him.
“I’ve always known what’s best for him and let myself be intimidated by you and Arnold for far too long. ”
I didn’t like the way the two of them were talking about me.
They had only met me after I had already become an adult. Neither Monica nor Joseph – and certainly not Arnold – had had a hand in anything.
Joseph seemed to feel offended, because he stormed around the desk, causing Monica to flinch, and I was on the verge of interrupting this ridiculous conversation when he stopped in front of her.
“You should never have come back to Maplecrest!”
Anger flashed in his eyes.
“Ever since you decided to play mother, he’s gone soft. I showed him how life works and was more of a father to this boy than you ever were a mother to him!”
He raised his finger.
“You led him astray, so you’d better set him straight!”
He was about to turn away from her.
“No”
As he turned, he paused, turned back to her, and stared at her.
Nervousness began to well up inside me.
What the hell was going on here? Did he always talk to her like that? Was that the reason she had more or less cut off contact with him?
“Careful”
He stepped too close to her for my liking, and I clenched my hands into fists.
“Don’t forget your place.”
Suddenly, the corners of his mouth lifted, and a flicker of madness flashed in his eyes.
“Or do you want your golden boy to find out that the woman who plays the angel in his life is the reason he grew up in an orphanage, just because she couldn’t be his mother at the right moment?”
Paper Clippings
Paul Leonard-Morgan
My fists froze.
“And this, after his ex-wife did the same to him?”
He shook his head, but I could no longer focus on Joseph.
There was only Monica. Monica, staring past him. At me. Her face pale.
Joseph chuckled quietly.
“Just as I thought.”
He followed her gaze, and his smile vanished.
Never had a standstill in time been more uncomfortable than this one. Filled with confusion and a new kind of pain from betrayal that I couldn’t quite place.
“Oh,” Joseph laughed, glancing briefly at Monica, then at me, and eventually at the floor before shoving both hands into his pants pockets. “Looks like that’s finally been settled now.”
He raised both hands toward Monica.
“May I introduce, Davian, your neglectful mother.”
He grabbed his briefcase and turned to leave, pushed the door wide open, and patted me on the shoulder.
My body couldn’t even react.
“Just so you know. I’m the only one who’s been there for you from the very beginning.”
He disappeared. And with every step he took away from me, clarity returned to my mind.
Breaking Point
Ahmet Kenan Bilgic, Turgut Mavuk
Until now, I was holding Monica’s gaze.
Her lips parted slightly, but no sound came out.
My mother.
Any sense of stability I had felt under my feet this morning threatened to crumble away.
“All these years…”
I trailed off.
…she had been lying to me.
What was happening here? Was this real? Or was I part of some dramatic soap opera since August, with no hope of returning to normalcy?
And then it hit me.
“Davian, I…”
“You were never better than Lily.”
Monica swallowed. Tears filled her eyes.
Overwhelm took hold of my already overloaded brain.
“Davian. I can explain everything. Please.”
“You had twenty years to explain something to me.”
I didn’t sound like myself. Because I didn’t even know who I was anymore.
Monica’s son?
“Please, give me a chance.”
I raised a hand.
She fell silent.
Whatever was happening here, I had to get out of here.
With all my effort, I tore myself away from her desperate gaze, set the folder down on the cabinet, and left her office.
I wasn’t quite sure where I was going. I just walked until I arrived at a bench in one of the campus parks and had to sit down.
My thoughts drifting away, I ran my fingers through my hair.
What had just happened?
When I’m a skeleton, stripped down to the bone.
When all that remains of me is carved in stone.
When all my ink veins have run dry.
Then in my deepest core, who am I?
– Leaking Batteries Diary