Chapter Thirty-Six
MARLEY
AS SOON as he says he could be gone for up to two weeks, my heart sinks and every muscle in my body pulls tight. Two weeks? I try to pull away, but he holds me tighter. Taking a deep breath, I settle against him and ask, “When?”
“Today. In about three and a half hours.”
This time I do pull away, tipping my head back to look up at him. “Today? So soon?”
A slight panic is wrapped around my chest, squeezing my lungs, and I’m trying not to make him feel bad. I don’t want him to be afraid to tell me things because I might break down or throw myself on the floor like a toddler.
“It may not be a whole two weeks, but we prepare for that just in case there are any issues.”
I’ve always known that what Mason does is dangerous, but I’ve got used to that. He’s always done stuff like that. Maybe I’ve just got complacent, assuming he will always be okay. But now my emotions are invested in a totally different way.
I’m trying to tell my mind that Jax going is no different from Mason going. But my heart wants to throw itself on the floor like a toddler.
While my head is starting to spin in every direction while I pretend like it’s not, his hands slide across my cheeks, pushing my hair back and cupping my face.
“Hey.” His deep voice is soft, moving over me like a caress.
My eyes snap back to his, giving him my attention.
He kisses my forehead. “I may not be here physically.” He leans in and kisses my cheek. “But I’m with you no matter what.” He kisses my other cheek. “You know how to get ahold of Callum if you need to.” His lips brush against mine. “I’ll call you if you need me. Okay?”
I take a breath through my nose and let it out. I know the rules keep them from calling home for safety reasons, and I’m trying so hard not to cry right now.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, lepa.”
My eyes are filling with tears, and his face is getting blurry, no matter how hard I try to fight it, and I roll my eyes while huffing out a fake laugh.
“I’m trying not to cry because I don’t want you to feel bad.
” A tear slips and he swipes it with his thumb.
“But I’m just going to miss you so much. ”
His lips tip up and his eyes volley between mine. “Don’t take this the wrong way, ljubavi moja [my love], but you don’t know how happy it makes me to hear that.”
Trying to smile and be strong even though that’s not what I feel right now, I sniff. “I promise I’m not trying to be clingy, and I know the rules, but is it okay if you text me once or twice to let me know you’re okay? At least until I get used to this.”
He pulls me to him again, his big arms wrapping around me, and sets his chin on my head. “I want you to cling to me, lepa, and yes, Callum will let me send a text or two.”
“What’s going on?” Kinley walks into the kitchen yawning, her long blond hair just as wild and tangled as mine. Her short robe is hanging open over her little silk shorts and tank top. She continues her beeline to the coffeepot, her feet sliding lazily across the hardwood.
I sniff again and talk into Jax’s shirt. “They have to go out on a job.”
She leans against the counter and blows her coffee once before tipping it for a sip. “So? They do that all the time.”
She’s right and I huff against his t-shirt as his hand rubs up and down my back. “I know that, I’m just being whiny.”
With another sip, she pushes off the counter and starts to walk out of the kitchen. “Must be that time of the month.”
My body goes stiff as I think of what day it is. I’m late. Then I tally in my head when Jax and I started having sex. But since I’m on the pill, I’m probably just late from the stress of everything that has happened.
“What? What’s wrong?” He asks and pulls back to look down at me.
I shake my head and smile. “Nothing. I need coffee.”
He studies my face for a moment before he brushes his lips against mine and says, “I’m going to go up and start packing my bag. Come up after you get your coffee?”
“Mm-Hm.” I watch him walk out of the kitchen and lean against the island.
It’s been almost three weeks since we first had sex, but only for a few days before everything blew up.
I smile to myself, we did it a lot for those few days.
I shake my head and stop myself from drifting into thoughts of how good he feels.
But I’ve been on the pill since I was sixteen because I cramp so bad.
It’s just because of the stress. I’ll probably start within a day or two.
The little guest room Jax has been using since he’s been coming here is around the hall from my, Kinley, and Breanna’s rooms. Even though in the past few weeks, he’s spent more time in my room. I pad down the hall with my coffee and lean on the doorframe.
He’s still in his gray sweatpants that hug his perfect butt and strong thighs, and the green shirt that reminds me of the olive drab shirts Mason used to wear.
Except that there’s nothing drab about it, it stretches across his muscles that roll and flex each time he moves.
I’m pretty sure that’s what he slept in last night.
He turns his head and winks at me as he lays clothes, guns, knives, and toiletries on the bed.
Thinking about being without him through the night is causing anxiety in my chest and I need to stop it. He’s not going to be gone long. I just feel safer when I’m with him and the past couple of weeks don’t feel as gripping when he’s next to me.
Damn it, I don’t know how Sloane does this.
I watch him move around the room while sipping my hazelnut coffee, well, it’s mostly creamer, but it still has the caffeine kick I need to get me through the morning.
He stops and reaches for something on the bed, and his t-shirt sleeve moves up over the muscles around his upper arm and I watch them move with each small movement he makes.
Watching him is making my whole center tingle, the flex of his back and the way his sweats shift on his ass as he moves is making everything warm and wet.
The little muscle on the back of his arm flexes when he puts a gun in the side of his bag and a flood of heat washes through me as I tilt my head to watch.
Setting my coffee on the dresser, I walk up behind him and slide my hands around his waist to his hard chest and set my lips against his back, inhaling leather and soap. He drops what he’s doing and grasps my hands, pulling one up to kiss the center of my palm.
“You’ll need to leave me a couple of your shirts so I can sleep in them.” I say into the fabric on his back.
He turns in my arms and looks down at me. “I’ll leave you all my shirts, lepa. What’s mine is yours.”
Setting my chin against his chest, I’m working up the courage to say something. Sliding my hands under his shirt so I can feel his skin, I drag my fingertips over the sharp definition in his abs and up his sides. What I’m doing to him is pressed against my belly.
Clearing my throat, I say, “I want to try something I’ve never done before.”
He pulls my shirt away from my back to tuck his hands under the fabric and his rough, warm palms glide over my skin. “Yeah?What’s that?”
Stepping away from him, I turn and move across the room to close the door.
My heart is beating so hard at what I’m about to do and I turn to face him, my back against the door.
When I click the lock, one side of his lips twitch, but when I move toward him, desire heating my eyes, pulling my shirt over my head, his smile drops.
“Christ.” His eyes move down to my chest and his sweats tent even higher.
I’m so hot, I’d rub against a stripper pole to see the look he is giving me right now. He’s turned on, but he doesn’t move.
Stopping in front of him, I hook my thumbs in the waist of my shorts and push them down over my hips to let them fall to the floor. His gaze drops to the bare skin at my apex.
“Fuck me.” He whispers low before he drags his gaze back up to my face.
“I was feeling… different… last night.” I can feel my cheeks heat and I shrug a shoulder.
Keeping my eyes locked on his, I push his shirt up his body, he grasps the material between his shoulder blades and rips it over his head.
My eyes finally drop to his torso, and I trace some of the heavier lines of his tattoos with my fingers.
Goose pimples raise on his skin, and I look up at him through my lashes with a grin.
His eyes are hooded and he looks like he is about to pounce and eat me for dinner.
Trying not to let my nervousness ruin it, I softly press my mouth to his chest and slowly pepper kisses from one side to the other.
When I hook my thumbs in the waist of his sweats, I slide my tongue down his abs as I push them down and lower myself in front of him.
“Lepa…” It sounds like a warning and a plea at the same time.
Sliding my hands up his thighs, I stop him from saying anything else. “I want to.”
He’s hard and heavy in front of me, a little drop of liquid shines on the rounded tip. Wrapping my hand around his length, he hisses when I put the head in my mouth and swirl my tongue over the top. He’s salty, but not in a bad way, it’s almost a pleasant taste.
“Fuuuck.” He whisper-moans and slides his fingertips along my forehead down the side of my face.
Lifting my eyes to look at him, I take a little more. The smoothness glides right over my lips and I close my lips around his shaft and let him slowly slide out of my mouth before I swirl my tongue over the top again.
Letting him pop out of my mouth, I look at the hard, silky skin wet with my saliva and smile before I suck him back in, he slides even easier now since he’s wet and each time I lower my mouth over him, I let him go a little farther back in my throat.
Suddenly, he pulls out of my mouth and drops to his knees in front of me, grabbing my nape and crashing his lips to mine. His tongue spears into my mouth and he pulls my body to his.
Leaning my head away from him in confusion, I look into his eyes. “Was I doing it wrong?”
He shakes his head to the side once with a huff. “Fuck no, you were about to make me come and I don’t want to come in your mouth. I want to come in that pretty pussy.”
My smile is triumphant. “So, you liked it?”
He smiles back. “Baby, I’m about to show you just how much I liked it.”
Dropping his lips to my neck, he sucks and nibbles on the skin and I let my head fall back as he lowers me to the floor. His lips are everywhere, his teeth pinch my hard nipples and then lick and suck the pain away.
The wet kisses move down my stomach, his tongue dips into my belly button, and his big hands push my thighs apart. A small gasp escapes my lips when his mouth seals over my slit and his tongue slides over my clit, my fingers tangle in his hair. He looks up at me, his icy orbs locked on my eyes.
But when he sucks my clit into his mouth - hard - my head falls back. “Oh, God.”
My hips are grinding against his mouth, the pressure in my core climbing higher and higher. “Brana,” I whisper, but just as I am about to come, one of his hands pushes my thigh up to my chest and he lifts himself to plunge into me in one thrust.
Holding himself up with one arm, his palm splayed on the floor next to my head, his other arm wraps around my leg, holding it up and out to the side. He feels deeper than he ever has. I’m so deliciously and completely full.
Without waiting for me to adjust, he starts moving in me, slowly at first, until he is seated all the way in. “Touch yourself, lepa.”
I’ve touched myself lots of time by myself, but I’ve never done it in front of anyone, so my entire head flushes crimson.
He pushes in and stops, his gaze hard and soft at the same time while holding mine.
“Do you know what you do to me? You’ve woken up a part of me I thought was dead, lepa.
” He lowers his head and kisses me long and hard.
“Only you can do that. You. I’m so fucking in love with you.
I don’t want to live another day without you.
” His nose is just inches from me, his deep voice is low.
“Now, fucking rub your clit so we can come together.”
His words crash over the wick of every self-deprecating reservation living in my brain like a tidal wave, snuffing them out, cementing the tether between us. Every nerve in my body just sparked and reached for him at the same time, lighting my body on fire.
Hooking my hand around his neck, I half lift myself and half pull him to me as I drag my fingers down my stomach to rub my clit. Our tongues are sliding and dancing together as I tighten around him, my hips rolling into him, thrust for thrust.
When the tsunami in my core clenches on him, I gasp, “Brana.” But I refuse to close my eyes.
I press my forehead to his and hold his eyes captive as he watches me come undone around him.
I pull his release from him with my own, and a low growl rattles in his chest, his eyes never breaking our connection.
Letting go of my leg, he wraps his fingers around my nape and lowers me back to the floor as he puts his weight on his forearm. His kisses are soft and warm as he cups my face in his hand. “Marry me, Marley.”
I can’t tell if my heart is beating so hard because of the orgasm I just had or because he’s fulfilling the dream I’ve had since I was a girl.
My smile spreads across my face as I look up at him.
He touches his forehead to mine. “You are my everything, lepa. I want you by my side for the rest of my life. Please be my wife.”
I nod against his forehead. “Yes. I’ll marry you.”