22. Kate
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kate
I stood at the kettle, staring at it like it might have all the answers. My stomach was a mess. Coffee was probably a terrible idea, but doing nothing felt worse. I’d barely slept. There were too many thoughts looping and crashing like waves. About Jordan. About the final. About Monday.
I couldn’t believe I’d said it out loud last night. What if I came with you? And he’d looked at me like I’d handed him the whole bloody world. Thank Christ.
Now I was here, back in Gwen’s kitchen, trying to breathe through the panic.
The what ifs. The voice in my head that kept whispering, are you actually going to do this?
I’d left early this morning to get ready for the final.
Jordan had gone ahead to the club to prep.
But not before I kissed him like it was the last day on Earth.
One of those slow, devastating kisses, the kind you give when you don’t know what’s coming next, but you need them to know you’ll be there either way.
“You look like you’re waiting for a firing squad,” Gwen said, wandering in with damp hair and a toothbrush hanging out of her mouth. I didn’t even try to smile. She spat into the sink and turned, one brow already halfway up her forehead.
“All right, spit it out.”
I swallowed. “I think I’m going to go with him.”
She blinked. “What, like…go, go? With Jordan?”
I nodded. “Probably Washington first. Maybe more. If it works. I don’t know, I haven’t really thought it through yet.”
“Well, obviously. You look like you’ve been staring into the void for three hours.”
“I just…” I glanced down at the gel nail polish my anxiety had begun picking at. “Am I mad?”
She didn’t answer right away. Just stepped over, gently took the mug out of my hand, and set it down. Then she folded her arms and gave me The Gwen Look?, the one that usually preceded a pep talk or a slap.
“Do you want an honest answer?” she asked.
“Always.” I sighed, bracing myself.
“You’ve spent your whole adult life doing what made sense.
You stayed in a marriage long past its expiry date because you didn’t want to disappoint your parents.
You built a career in a place that never gave anything back to you.
You got up every morning and smiled through shit most people would’ve crumbled under. ”
I blinked fast. She wasn’t done.
“And now, finally, you’ve met someone who sees you. Who doesn’t just want you in his life, he’s practically begging you to be in it. And you’re still standing here, worrying if you’re insane.”
I opened my mouth to reply. She shut it down with a look.
“You’re not insane, Katie. You’re just scared. And fair enough. It’s big. It’s messy. But you know what’s worse than taking a risk?”
“What?”
“Living the rest of your life wondering what would’ve happened if you hadn’t.” Her words landed like a soft punch to the chest.
I let out a shaky breath. “What if it all goes tits up?”
She smiled then. “Then you come home. You cry on my couch, we drink prosecco, call him every name under the sun, and watch the worst rom-coms we can find.”
I laughed, properly laughed, for the first time all morning. “But at least you’ll know. You’ll have tried. For once, you’ll have done something for you. Not for your parents. Not for work. Not for him. Not because it was the responsible thing, but because you bloody wanted to.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You’re going to make me cry before I even get dressed.”
“Well, go put your dress on. I want your eyeliner done before you start getting all weepy.”
I smiled, tears pricking anyway. She stepped forward and pulled me into a hug; tight, warm, and exactly what I needed.
“I’m proud of you,” she whispered. “You’ve got guts, Katie. More than you think.”
“I’m still terrified.”
She pulled back and met my eyes. “Good. That means you’re pursuing something worth doing.”
By the time I pulled away from her, I knew. I was going. Not halfway, not hedging my bets. I was stepping into whatever this was with Jordan, heart-first, consequences later.
Minutes later, eyeliner sharp, dress zipped, I was out the door. The streets hummed with the electric thrum of Wimbledon Sunday, and for once, instead of feeling like an outsider walking into someone else’s world, I felt…ready.