Chapter 6 Julia
SIX
JULIA
Iwoke, feeling completely disoriented at first. I was startled to find myself on a narrow bed in a cabin with…
Jake Thorne. Right. The storm, the kissing, and then…
oh, my. The whole encounter had been a surprise—but so was waking up somewhere other than the sofa where I now recalled falling asleep.
He must have moved us to the bed at some point during the night and I slept through it.
I stretched cautiously, not wanting to wake him. I might not remember getting in bed, but what happened before I nodded off was crystal clear. We’d had mind-blowing sex, the kind that put a smile on my face just thinking about it.
As I stretched, I felt a delicious soreness in places that hadn’t been sore in way too long. I looked at Jake. In sleep, he was scruffy and sexy, but softened from how I usually saw him, maybe even a little vulnerable. Not his usual swaggering self. I liked him this way.
Still, I reminded myself that I shouldn’t get used to being this close to him.
Our heated interlude the previous day was probably a onetime thing.
For a second, I wondered if it had to be.
The thought that I could have sex with the guy next door whenever I wanted to made me feel absolutely lightheaded.
Of course, I’d have to relax my no-cocky-cowboys rule, but it didn’t really count as long as it was purely physical, right?
As long as he kept things loose and fun and didn’t think he had any say over how I led my life, I might be willing to make an exception for a whole series of nights like the one we just had. It almost seemed worth it.
I might even be ready for another round right now. I considered waking him with kisses to see if morning sex with him was as good as it had been the evening before. As I moved to kiss him, my stomach growled and I suddenly realized that I was starving.
The day before, I’d eaten only breakfast and a granola bar on the trail.
No wonder I was hungry. Hungry. I sat bolt upright, noticing how light it was outside the window.
It was full morning, and I hadn’t cared for my animals since the previous day.
I had to get back to my property as soon as possible.
“Wake up, Jake.” I shook his shoulder urgently. “We’ve got to get moving.”
“Huh…what’s the hurry?” he grumbled, opening one eye.
“I’ve got animals to care for and patients to see.
It’s Monday morning, sleepyhead.” Even as I spoke, I was already up and moving around the room, pulling on my clothes, which were stiff and cold, and gathering his.
When I was dressed, I took his things to him and sat down on the edge of the bed, knowing I had to say something about the night we’d spent together.
“Jake, last night was so much more than I expected.”
“Yeah? That good?” he teased, a slow grin on his lips. He really was too sexy for this time of morning. If ever there was a cowboy who was justified in acting cocky…
“That good,” I confirmed and kissed him before scooting away so he could get dressed as well. He stood up, and I didn’t at all mind watching him as he stepped into his boxers. He clearly knew I was enjoying the show, since he seemed in no hurry to cover himself.
“I reckon I’ll take the credit for starting it all by kissing you.” He leaned closer, his lips hovering just over mine. “If I hadn’t, you’d probably still be talking. Spending a night in conversation with you would have been a hell of a lot less fun.”
My happy mood faded instantly. I pulled away and stared at him, but in that moment, I wasn’t seeing Jake. It was my ex’s face before me. Rodney had been a bronc-riding bad boy, and I’d adored him at first. An infatuation I now chalked up to youth and inexperience.
I hadn’t been savvy enough to realize how controlling he was.
How he seemed to believe that he was the decision-maker for both of us and could run my life as he saw fit.
I learned a lot from my relationship with him.
The lessons were hard-earned and had guided me right when it came to men.
Now, I knew exactly what I was and wasn’t willing to put up with.
But I’d ignored those lessons last night with Jake, even though I knew better.
His comment about me talking too much was the slap in the face I needed.
Rodney used to say things like that. He’d tell me to stop thinking so hard and rambling on about my concerns.
He’d insist that I just let him take care of everything.
When we were first together, I’d been gullible enough to believe that meant Rodney cared about me.
Eventually, I’d started feeling it was his way to get me to shut up because he wasn’t actually interested in hearing my perspective.
He didn’t want a partner, he wanted an accessory to hang on his arm when we went out.
“Finish dressing,” I said, moving off the bed and away from him. “I want to get back to the trailhead.”
Seeming to pick up on my shift in mood, Jake reached for my hand. “I was only joking, Julia. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s fine.” I meant it—I wasn’t angry with him, just with myself for getting moony-eyed over a one-night stand.
I stepped farther from his reach. “I’m worried about my animals.
They haven’t been seen to since yesterday morning.
You have people on your ranch to fill in for you when you’re not there.
It’s just me at my place. I’ll wait for you outside. ”
Before he had a chance to speak, I left the cabin and stood on the porch, silently seething.
I forced myself to remember that it was Jake I was dealing with and not Rodney.
I wanted to continue to have an amicable working relationship with Jake, so I couldn’t let myself get caught up in old memories that might poison our interactions.
But damn it, even the excuses had sounded all too familiar.
Rodney used to claim to be joking when I objected to what he said to me.
It wasn’t an excuse I’d accept, not ever again.
Jake and Rodney weren’t the same person, and neither was I. Eight years had passed since I’d ended it with Rodney, but first loves leave a nasty mark when they go sour.
“I’m sorry,” Jake said as he came from the cabin, pulling his pack on.
I waved off his apology and started walking back to the main trail. We had to scramble up the muddy slope. More than once, he offered his hand to help me, but I ignored it. Once we reached the trail, I picked up the pace, not bothering to make conversation with Jake.
Inside, I was thinking of all the things I wouldn’t say. I wanted to point out that he’d talked as much as I had last night and throughout the previous day’s hike, but it wasn’t worth it to go there. I had nothing to prove to him, so I let it be.
Lesson learned. Again.
In my haste, I tripped over a root and went staggering forward several paces. Jake was right alongside me, and moved fast enough to grab my arm to steady me. I kept moving, pulling myself away with a mumbled thanks.
“Julia,” he said, but I didn’t pause.
I didn’t know if it was worry about my animals or my desire to get away from him that drove my feet forward.
I was relieved when the trailhead came into sight.
Once we reached the parking lot, I headed straight for my truck, unlocked it, and tossed my bag inside.
I was about to get in when Jake’s hand on my arm stayed me.
“It was a bad joke. I really didn’t mean it. I had fun with you,” he said, his expression unexpectedly serious. “Yesterday and last night. If you want a repeat, you know where to find me.”
I hesitated. I’d enjoyed myself, except for those moments in the cabin this morning.
I thought I’d moved past the old hurts, but his comment about talking too much stung.
Joking or not, it was hurtful. I couldn’t think what to say to him now.
The breeze caught a lock of my hair. Before I could reach for it, he tucked it behind my ear, his touch warm and gentle.
I didn’t see Rodney now, only Jake. The cowboy next door who could be a good guy when he wanted to be. My nights were usually lonely, but last night hadn’t been. I’d felt not just desired but appreciated and understood. It had felt good.
So I was a little tempted to take him up on his offer.
But only a very little when I remembered how easily his words had poked at old wounds.
Besides, there was no chance of our relationship developing into anything real.
And I wanted real. Despite not being able to have a baby, I wanted a man to love me, to see me as the sun and the moon.
For true love, I might have put up with a little hurt. Might have been willing to talk through it and try to come to a better understanding. But it wasn’t worth the effort for a fling. Flings were supposed to be fun, not remind me of the ways I’d been hurt before.
I got in my truck and closed the door, speaking to him through the open window. “Last night was…memorable, Jake, but not something we should repeat. That wouldn’t be smart for either of us.”
“No pressure,” he said, holding his hands up in the air. “Drive safe going home. I’ll see you, Julia.” He walked away, and I forced myself not to look after him.
I kept my gaze focused forward and my thoughts on the day ahead of me. My animals needed me, and I had work to do to build my practice. Having anything more than a one-night stand with Jake wasn’t in the cards. And it sure as hell wouldn’t be smart.