Chapter 31 Jake
THIRTY-ONE
JAKE
Afew days later, I stood with my hands on my hips watching one of my ranch hands exercising two colts. I wished I was pleased with what I was seeing, but the colts wouldn’t make anything more than decent rodeo horses or show horses. They could be ridden, but they were a long way from special.
“Hey.” Brian came up next to me and leaned on the corral fence to watch the horses. The family was all gathered on the ranch for a meal that our mom had set up. “Pretty pair.”
“Looks are about all they’ve got going for them,” I said. The colts were bays, but not matched well enough to sell as carriage horses.
“They…” Brian began. “I got nothing.”
“Even you can’t put a positive spin on their future. I’m thinking about checking with Josh Cafferty about buying them for his trail riding program,” I said, knowing my annoyance was obvious. “They’re not suitable for what I breed horses for.”
“How are your plans to make improvements going?”
“Slowly,” I said. I’d made a deal of sorts with Julia for Twister, but it wasn’t what I wanted.
“I did get an email today about a stallion for sale. He’s not as good as Twister, but better than what I’ve got.
Belongs to one of Dad’s old buddies down in the panhandle.
The stallion fits with what Dad and Luke would have purchased.
I’m tempted, but I’m stalling.” Partly because I was second guessing some of Luke’s plans, which six months ago, I never would’ve done.
“What for?” Brian asked.
“I’m waiting to see how things work out with Julia.” I was being dogged, stubborn, but I just couldn’t let it go.
“Seemed like the two of you were good when we were at the Squeaky Wheel. Something change?”
“Nothing’s changed,” I bit out. “That’s the problem. I thought I was making progress, but then I went over to her place the next evening and she was painting the damn nursery. I want her and the baby to live here. She doesn’t need a nursery at her house.”
“And you said that?”
“Yeah, but since she refused to back down and I didn’t want her to do all the work herself, I grabbed the roller to help her.
You know what she did? She told me to leave and that she needed to paint the room herself.
What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, but Brian held his hands up in an I-don’t-know gesture.
“She’s stopped calling me, too, when she wants something. I’ve made a few late-night food runs for her when cravings hit over the past couple of weeks. Nothing lately.” I should be happy for the extra time, but what I felt was frustration. I enjoyed helping her out. It felt right to do so.
“You’ll get more sleep.” Brian, of course, would look at the positive. A quality that I usually admired in my brother. Right then, it made me want to punch him. I didn’t need optimism, I needed a solution.
“Yeah, I know, and I’ve got more time to focus on the ranch, but it feels like she’s pulling away.
Hell, I’m surprised she agreed to come to dinner tonight,” I said.
“I’m trying to do whatever I can to show her that I’m in this for the long run, but it’s starting to feel hopeless.
Nothing I do seems to make any difference.
” I’d felt so good that night at the bar, but it was all lost now.
“Jake—” Brian tried to interrupt me.
“Maybe it’s time I accept reality and give up on having Julia here.
And that means I might as well buy Harvey’s stallion and be done with it since Twister will never live on my ranch.
What?” I barked when I finished talking, trying to figure out why Brian was gesturing frantically behind us.
I spun around and came face to face with Julia.
She was no more than three feet away, plenty close to hear what I’d just said. The look on her face was hurt and horrified.
“Is that true?” her voice shook when she spoke.
“Have you really been trying to get Twister by convincing me to make my home here? Oh, God, I’d thought you’d given in because you’d seen my point of view.
I thought you’d changed your mind about what the ranch needed, but that was all a lie. You aren’t capable of change.”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “You were just biding your time and using me to get to my stallion. Why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free, right, Jake?”
I considered lying to her, then I thought about apologizing and trying to make it better.
But dammit, I wasn’t sorry. “Not using you, just considering what would be best for both of us. I thought it was a reasonable expectation that we’d be together here—since the house is bigger and I have the larger operation—so, yes, Twister would live on my ranch. ”
“And you’d have free access to him?”
“Right. Because you’d be my wife,” I said emphatically. That was what I’d wanted for weeks now, what I’d hoped I could convince her to accept. But she took a step back from me, almost stumbling. I reached for her, but she jerked away from me and held her hands up to ward me off.
“I’m sorry to upset you, but I won’t apologize for believing that we could have a good future together. Here.” I didn’t bring up potentially combining both properties instead of selling her place. I heard my mother ring the dinner bell. “Let’s go eat, and we can talk afterward.”
“No!” she said sharply. “I can’t sit down at the table and pretend in front of your family. I’m leaving.” She turned on her heel and headed for her truck.
I glanced at Brian, who jerked his thumb in her direction.
Yeah, I had every intention of going after her, but I wasn’t sure she’d listen to anything I had to say.
Inside it felt as though my world was crumbling around me.
I wasn’t going to let it fall apart without a fight.
Assuming she’d actually hold still long enough for me to talk to her.