21. Halle
HALLE
The late morning sun filters through the kitchen window of my house as I stand at the counter, stirring sugar into my second cup of coffee, the spoon clinking against the ceramic.
Since family dinner, Cash and I haven’t spoken, texted, or even acknowledged each other. I shouldn’t be mad, or upset; it was never supposed to get serious anyway.
I just wish I could believe that.
There’s a knock at the front door, which pulls me back to earth. I glance at the clock—it’s barely ten. It wouldn’t be Cash, or my brother—
A rush of fear comes over me. What if it’s Zach? No, he wouldn’t do that. We have court in a month. He will just wait for that.
I set the mug down and walk through the living room, still in my soft gray sweatpants and an old tee.
When I open the door, I find Rhett Thornwood standing on the porch, his broad shoulders filling the frame.
He’s not much older than Cash, but he carries himself with more maturity.
Unlike Cash’s red hair, he has sandy blond hair that matches his youngest brother and the rest of the Thornwood men.
“Hey, Hal,” he says, voice low. “Got a minute?”
I nod and step aside. “Come in. Coffee’s fresh if you want some.”
“Nah, I’m good. Colt thinks I need a break from the caffeine.”
I laugh. “I need to warn you, that advice comes from someone who chugs energy drinks on repeat during finals week.”
He chuckles and follows me into the kitchen where I grab my mug and take a sip.
“Well, why are you here, Rhett?”
“Um …” He stammers, “C-can we sit?”
I nod toward the kitchen table and we settle down in seats across from each other. Then, he reaches into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulls out a sealed, cream-colored envelope and slides it across the table. I look down and see the unmistakable handwriting of Grandpa Ben.
My stomach tightens.
“Found a stack of envelopes while going through his belongings. He wrote one to everyone. This one was for you.”
I stare at the envelope but don’t reach for it. My fingers stay wrapped around my mug, the warmth grounding me. “Thank you for bringing it. I … I ‘m not ready to read it yet. I’m sorry.”
Rhett studies me for a long moment. “Understandable. Take your time. I’m sure Grandpa wanted you to have it whenever you were ready, so it’s no rush.”
Silence stretches between us, comfortable in the way only families who have known each other for a long time can manage. Outside, the occasional car passes by.
I sip my coffee, letting the bitterness steady me. “You didn’t come here just for the letter,” I say after a few minutes watching him anxiously fidget with his fingers.
He shakes his head. “No, ma’am.”
“Then what is it?”
He clears his throat. “I wanted to ask about my brother.”
“What about him?” I ask.
“Were you two dating?”
I scoff. “Not exactly.” I set my mug down and meet his gaze. His eyes are just like Cash’s. My stomach twists. “I can’t be with someone like Cash,” I say with a chuckle.
“Most people can’t be with Cash longer than a night. Usually because of his own choices … Look, he’s my brother; I know him better than anyone else on this planet. Which is how I know he isn’t taking your rejection lightly.”
“Who said I rejected him?”
“He did. Multiple times. Usually only while drunk.”
My voice stays even, but my hands tighten around the mug. “Grief makes people do things they don’t normally do. He’s not acting any different on my account.”
Rhett nods slowly, processing. His hands rest flat on the table. “Halle, my mom told me everything, and maybe this is overstepping, but why did you reject Cash?”
“Your brother is young. He has years before he even has to think about a wife and kids and his legacy. Sure, I’m having a fun time now, but one day, when he’s ready, I won’t be able to give him those things.”
“I know. My mom told me what happened between Zach and you,” he says, beating around the bush of the actual truth.
“Then you know there will come a day where Cash will resent me for being unable to give him what he may want one day.”
Rhett leans back slightly. “Does Cash even know any of it?”
The words hang in the quiet kitchen.
I glance toward the envelope on the table but don’t touch it. Grandpa Ben’s handwriting stares back at me, and I shift in my seat.
“Have you even given him a chance to decide?” he asks, his voice rising.
I shake my head. “No. Because what we had was fun. Simple. Rebound fun.”
Rhett scoffs. “For you. But I’ve seen my brother when he’s having fun, and I’ve seen him when he looks at you. Those are two completely different people, Halle. To completely take his choice away when he doesn’t even know it … is wrong.”
I swallow, throat tight. “Cash comes from a large family—you have a large family. I’m not going to take that away from him.”
Rhett rubs a hand over his jaw, the stubble there from skipping a shave this morning. “I get it. But Cash isn’t Zach; you have no idea what the man wants. Hell, I don’t even know what he wants. He refuses to talk to any of us after Grandpa. How are you so sure that he would be so judgmental?”
“Because he’s a man.”
Rhett presses his lips together. He knows he’s not going to win right now, but because it’s his brother, he’s trying.
“Being with me means accepting a different kind of future,” I say. “I cannot ask Cash to love me for me if I don’t even love myself right now.”
Rhett nods again, but he doesn’t say anything.
“How can I be enough for someone else to love, when I’m not for me? All I’ve wanted was kids. I don’t know who I am without that.” Tears burn my eyes.
“Halle … You are a strong, brilliant, and beautiful woman. You will get through this. You will survive this. But Cash … you are an anchor for him in ways I didn’t know could be possible. Don’t write my brother off so soon. Give him a chance to prove you wrong.”
A single tear leaks from my eyes and runs down my face. “I don’t know how to be something for someone else. Cash and I would just be using each other.”
Rhett stands, but his voice is gentle. “Fair enough. Just know we’re all here.
Even Cash, when he stops acting like a wounded bull.
” He pauses at the door, turning back. “Grandpa used to say that the ranch teaches you that life doesn’t always go according to plan.
You adapt. You build something new with what you have left.
That’s how you heal. Cash knows that lesson too. So … give him a chance to show you.”
I nod, arms crossed against the breeze. “Drive safe, Rhett.”
When he shuts the door, I walk over to it and lock it, watching Rhett as he heads to his truck and pulls away, dust trailing behind.
Grandpa Ben’s letter is still in my hands.
I may read it. Just not today. Maybe tomorrow.
My phone buzzes on the counter.
Lawyer:
Court is in 3 weeks on Monday, Sept 19 at 9 AM. Courtroom B. Meet me 30 minutes before that in the lobby to talk before we go in.