Chapter 7
MAUVE
Mauve pressed the last of her water bottle to her forehead as the final notes of “Last Christmas” faded from the speakers.
Her hair was stuck to the back of her neck, and she was breathing hard, thanks to her best friend’s vigorous adult dance class.
Mauve was here twice a week for the exercise and, although she lacked talent, she found dancing to be one of the most joyful things she did in her life.
In addition to dancing, she attended Reese’s Pilates class three days a week.
Taking class had become a nice routine and a great way to stay in shape.
It also gave her an excuse to have coffee with Reese twice a week.
They always went for coffee at Bean Counters after dance class.
Mauve cherished the time with her busy friend.
She missed when they were both single with plenty of empty hours on their hands.
Now Reese was the mother to two teenage boys, a wife, and a business owner.
There wasn’t a lot of time left after that.
Twelve other women were scattered around the studio in various states of sweatiness, laughing and gabbing as they gathered their things.
Mauve took a generous swig of water before pulling her sweatshirt over her damp sports bra. Reese was still up at the front talking with a few of her students, so Mauve hung back to wait for her friend.
Reese looked odd this morning. Almost wrung out, which was impossible because she took impeccable care of herself. But she had a waxy pallor under her foundation and a slight sheen on her temples that alarmed her. Reese never sweated. She was too fit.
“You okay?” Mauve asked when Reese joined her by the door, tote bag in hand.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired. Must be the time of year. It’s so dark in the mornings.”
“And the late afternoon,” Mauve said.
“You have time for coffee?”
“For sure,” Mauve said. “And maybe a blueberry muffin too.”
Reese often teased her about her sweet tooth and was endlessly giving her a hard time about her muffin habit. Fortunately, Mauve was tall and naturally slender, so she could get away with it. And as long as that was the case, she was going to keep eating muffins.
Tara was behind the counter when they arrived at Bean Counters. She gave them a friendly wave and told them she’d be right there. The place was always busy this time of morning, but they found a small table by the window.
When Tara came by, they ordered lattes and a muffin for Mauve. Reese ordered scrambled eggs and fruit. While they waited, they chatted about events coming up, including the tree lighting and Max’s ugly sweater contest.
“And you’ll join us for Christmas morning, right?” Reese asked. “And stay the day? We can maybe try a few new recipes. The boys keep talking about a Christmas goose, which I have no intention of cooking. But maybe roast beef?”
“I thought you guys might go to Grace’s,” Mauve said. She’d already reconciled herself to it. Everything would be different now that Reese was a Hayes.
“No, we’ll be there for Christmas Eve. I wanted Christmas Day just for us. It’ll be our first official Christmas as a family and I want you there.”
“Where will Jason be?”
Reese raised an eyebrow. “He’ll be with us. Is that okay?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
Tara came by with their lattes and Mauve’s muffin. “Eggs will be up in a few.”
They thanked her and waited until she was out of earshot before continuing their talk.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Reese asked gently. “About him? I’m assuming that’s what’s giving you the morose eyes?”
Mauve wrapped her hands around her latte.
“There’s not much to say, really. I’m crazy about him, and he’s leaving after the holidays.
And I don’t want him to. I told myself the week in L.A.
was just a lark, you know. I’d get to hang out on set and see how the whole thing worked.
See him doing his thing. Enjoy a nice hotel room.
But it was that and so much more. He made such an effort to show me a good time.
We were out to dinner every night. Went to the beach one afternoon for a picnic. It was the best week of my life.”
“That’s saying a lot.”
“I know. And it wasn’t any of the things we did.
It was just being with him. He makes me feel interesting and beautiful, which is weird because he’s literally surrounded by beautiful women all day long.
Everyone out there’s so gorgeous and rich.
I thought I’d feel insecure, but he was so attentive I didn’t have a chance to.
As you know, we’ve been texting and talking on the phone every night.
I’m not sure how it happened, but he’s suddenly a huge part of my life. ”
“And that’s a problem?” Reese asked. “Because he seems pretty smitten with you too.”
Mauve split off a piece of the muffin but didn’t bring it to her mouth, just stared at the oozing blueberries. “There’s no way this can work. Not with our lifestyles and our work. I know that, yet I can’t stop daydreaming of what it would be like if he could stay.”
“Or you could go?”
Mauve took another sip of her latte. “I don’t know if that’s what he wants. We agreed to just thirty days of fun. After that, we return to our real lives.”
“Do you know what you want?”
“Yes, I’m quite clear on that. I want to get married and have a baby.” To her dismay, tears pricked at her eyelids.
“Oh, okay. I didn’t know that. You always said you were unsure. Given your family stuff.”
“I know. But I’m not unsure any longer. Maybe it’s the time clock ticking away. I’ll be thirty-five next month. If I want a baby, I have to do it now. Or freeze my eggs.” She grimaced. “I really didn’t want to be the person who had to freeze their eggs because no man wants me.”
“That’s not true.”
“My husband didn’t want me.”
“He was a toad. Still is, I’m sure. I’m just thankful he’s not your toad any longer.”
“I am too, actually.” She broke another piece of muffin off and this time popped it in her mouth, chewing as she thought about how much to admit to her friend or to herself.
“It’s funny because I never thought I’d love anyone like I loved Chris.
But now that I’ve met Jason, I see how wrong I was.
Chris never got me like Jason does. You should have seen him yesterday with Ollie.
If I wasn’t in love with him before, yesterday sealed the deal.
” She described how Jason had jumped right in with Ollie, teaching him the song in sign language and explaining everything so well.
“It touched my heart in a way nothing ever has before.”
“I know that feeling. That’s how I felt when Roan and the kids did their dance last year. I was a puddle.”
“I remember.” Mauve smiled at the memory of Roan and the four teens dancing to “All I Want For Christmas” on the stage at La Danza.
“Have you told Jason how you feel?”
“Kind of. I told him the other night that I didn’t want him to go. That he was the type of man I wanted, if only he lived here.”
“What did he say to that?”
“He launched into this whole thing about how he wasn’t husband/father material and that his work was super important to him. I mean, what else would I expect him to say? Still, it stung. But he has a life. A real life to go back to. And I’ll just be the girl he enjoys seeing when he comes to town.”
“I think it’s more than that for him too,” Reese said. “Bottom line—you need to decide how much you’re willing to give up to be with him.”
“What if I gave up everything to be with him, and then he leaves me? I don’t think I can start over again. My divorce almost killed me. To have the man I love betray me or abandon me again? It might really finish me off this time.”
“You’re strong. You would be fine. But I understand. I also know how it feels to love a Hayes twin. Once you do, it’s impossible not to.”
“What do I do?” Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, but she didn’t bother to wipe them away. She was too sad to care if anyone saw her crying.
Reese reached across the table to squeeze her wrist. “Listen to me. You’re a catch.
Any man who meets you knows that. And if Jason doesn’t see how perfect you are together, then he isn’t for you.
However, I don’t think you’re giving him or yourself enough credit.
Marriage is about compromise. I certainly didn’t think I’d be raising two teenage boys.
But it’s what Roan wanted, and so I wanted it too.
I have no regrets by the way. Those boys have made my life so much richer. ”
“You’re a good mother to them.”
“I try. But my point is—where you live isn’t as important as who you live with.”
“Do you really think I should go with him? If he asks, that is.”
“I think you two should make a compromise. If you really want to be together, you’ll figure out a way.
Your job right now is to keep your heart open.
Don’t doom this before it even has a chance to blossom.
Jason and Roan went through a lot when they lost their mother.
Neither was ever the same after that. It’s made them reluctant to love someone as much as they loved their mom.
He may not even know that’s true, but I can see it.
All this stuff about not being husband and father material is simply fear.
Nothing real. Just be patient. I’ve known Jason and Roan a long time, and I’ve never seen him like he is with you.
Jason, that is.” She chuckled. “Roan’s all mine. ”
A text buzzed from Mauve’s phone. She dug it out of her purse.
Jason
Day three of Christmas magic is on! I have a special plan for us tonight. Be ready at six and dress warmly. #ThirtyDaysOfChristmasMagic
She couldn’t help but smile.
Mauve
I’ll be ready.
She slid her phone across the table. “How can I resist this guy?”