Chapter 33 Sawyer
THIRTY-THREE
Sawyer
After the gala, Ben drove us back in silence—eyes forward, hands on the wheel, pretending he didn't know what had happened.
But he knew. It was his job to know everything. Why else would we be leaving a New Year's gala before midnight?
I kept my hand on her leg during the drive, drawing slow circles over her dress, letting my fingers climb higher each time. She shifted, squeezing her thighs together. I gripped tighter—just enough to let her know I noticed.
By the time we pulled up to my place, I was hanging on by a thread.
I unlocked the front door and held it open. Ellie walked in slowly and stopped just inside, arms crossed, mouth pulled into a frown. I could practically hear her freaking out.
I slipped off my jacket, tossed it on the counter, and turned to face her.
“Ellie.”
“Yeah?”
I leaned against the island. “Get out of your head.”
“I’m not in my head.”
“Yes, you are.”
She rubbed her temples. “Alright, genius. What am I thinking?”
“You're panicking, convincing yourself you didn't mean to kiss me like that. That you don't want to do it again. You think crossing this line is going to screw everything up.”
Her jaw tightened. “I don't know what this is anymore.”
I laced my hands behind my head. “Neither do I. But I like you. Not pretend, not for show, not for a single fucking headline. I like you. And I really like kissing you.”
“Sawyer…” Her voice cracked on my name, and that tiny fracture hit me square in the chest. She looked down. “You can't say things like that.”
“Too late.”
Her eyes fluttered shut. “I don't know if I can do anything real right now.”
There it was.
I could've pushed, could've told her how badly I wanted her to feel something real. But I didn't.
I sat down on the barstool. “That's fine.” I nodded for her to join me, hoping she would. “You set the pace.”
She hesitated. Then, she moved—slow, unsure—but she came to me.
When she stopped in front of me, I slid my hands to her hips.
“Is this fake?” she asked.
I pulled her to me until her stomach pressed against my dick. “Does this feel fake to you?”
She shook her head.
I caught her chin, forced her to look at me. “Good. Because we don't have to be real for you to use me.”
Her lips parted. “What?”
“Use me.” I pushed my knee between her legs and felt her breath catch. “Take whatever you want. Real or not. Pretend or don’t.”
Her hands found my neck, pulling us closer.
“I don't care.” I tilted her chin up, our mouths inches apart. “Use me however you'll have me.”
She was breathing harder, eyes darting between my mouth and my eyes. “And then what? When this ends, we just stop? That simple?”
I leaned in, my mouth brushing her cheek. “It ends when you want it to.” I let my lips trail past her jaw.
Her breath caught. “One night. Just one. We get it out of our system then go back to normal.”
“Whatever you say, baby.”
My hand slid up her spine. Not rushed, not gentle. Just enough to make her inhale sharply and sway into me.
“Tell me what you want, Ellie.”
She didn't respond, so I let my hand drop, giving her space even though every part of me was screaming for more.
“We don't have to do anything,” I said. “I can drive you home.”
She stayed there, motionless.
Then, her hands moved to my shoulders and pushed me back. “No.”
I lifted my eyebrows. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
“We stop the second you say. No questions, no pressure. You're in control here.” I leaned back so I could look her straight on. “So, tell me, Ellie. What do you want?”
She didn't answer with words. She climbed into my lap instead, straddling me on the stool.
“Say it, El.”
“You already know,” she breathed.
I shook my head. “Not touching you again until you say it.”
On the outside, I could tell she was still holding back, but her pupils were blown wide, giving her away.
“I want you to touch me.” The words came out so quietly, I almost missed them.
“Yeah?” I muttered, dragging my hands up her sides because I couldn’t fucking help it.
She nodded, lip between her teeth.
I ran one hand along the back of her thigh and the other up the back of her neck, tugging slightly at the roots of her hair until her face tilted up. Her mouth parted on a breath I wanted to swallow.
“You want my hands on you, baby?”
A soft sound escaped her throat. “Yes.”
“Where?”
She went still.
I leaned in, my lips brushing her ear. “Come on. Use me, remember? Be greedy. Be fucking selfish with me. Where do you want me to touch you?”
Her hands slid up my chest, tentative at first, then with purpose. “Everywhere.”
Fuck. That did it. That single word burned. I took a breath and stood with her legs wrapping around my waist.
“I need this fucking dress off you,” I said, striding toward my bedroom.
Once inside, I set her down on her feet beside the bed. We stayed close, eyes locked, breathing the same air. Then, fireworks covered the room in bright colors.
Midnight.
I didn’t wait. My mouth crashed to hers with everything I had—no softness, no hesitation. Her hands wrapped around my waist, and her lips gave way beneath mine.
I gripped her chin, needing proof she wasn’t a figment of my screwed-up imagination. She moved one hand up to my neck while the other trailed down to grip my shirt.
The kiss broke, just enough to catch our breath, before I dipped my head, trailing kisses along her jawline and back up to her ear.
“Turn around,” I whispered.
I gripped her waist as she spun around so her back pressed against me.
“May I?” My fingers brushed the spot I’d zipped up just hours ago.
“Please,” she breathed.
I slid two fingers beneath the fabric and eased it down, one hand trailing her spine, slow enough to watch the goosebumps rise.
She turned to face me, and those fucking pretty hooded blues locked on mine. I exhaled a curse and let my mouth drag down her throat.
“You’ve been driving me fucking insane since the second you walked into my house tonight,” I said, my lips brushing her skin. “Looking like a fucking angel I’m not supposed to touch.”
“You did, though,” she whispered, extending her neck toward me.
I straightened, breathing hard, eyes dragging over her, desperate to memorize every inch of her. “Not nearly enough.”
She whimpered when my hands found the edge of her dress. I pushed it down slowly, savoring the moment. And then, she was there, standing in front of me in black lace so delicate, it looked painted on.
Holy. Fucking. Hell.
Lace across her chest, thin straps biting into her shoulders, tiny bows I wanted to sink my teeth into. The panties matched—barely there, all tease and sin.
“Baby.”
Her eyes lifted to mine. “Mmm?”
“You’re mine tonight. Every gasp, every moan—I want to be the reason for all of them.”
I moved to the floor without thinking, my knees hitting the carpet. She stood there, watching me like she owned me—and fuck, maybe she did.
“Step out,” I said.
She did, one foot at a time, getting rid of her dress. Then, she backed up and sat on the edge of my bed like it was her throne.
She lifted one foot, resting it against my chest. The heel was thin and strappy, making her legs look miles long. I met her gaze.
“Take it off for me?” She cocked her head.
My hands curled around her ankle, and my thumb dragged along her skin. “Anything for you.”
I unclasped the tiny strap and slid the heel off slowly, pressing a kiss to her bare ankle.
Then, I reached for the other. Starting at her knee, my hand glided down to her shin, all the way to her ankle.
“Fuck, El. You’re sitting there like you were made to be worshipped, and I’m about to prove my devotion. ”
I set her foot down and lifted onto my knees.
Her hands landed on my chest, that lace bra doing absolutely nothing to hide how hard her nipples were.
My mouth brushed the edge of one before trailing down the line of her ribs.
My palms slid up her thighs, under her ass, lifting her just enough to scoot her back on the bed.
I followed, bracing a knee on the mattress as she leaned onto her elbows, watching me, hair wild and cheeks flushed.
“You said everywhere.” My fingers ghosting along her waistband. “So, you tell me—what’s first?”
“I want your mouth.”
“On your lips or between your legs?”
Her breath stuttered, and she shrugged.
I was going to fucking lose it. “Say it.”
“Put your damn mouth on me, Sawyer.”
I grinned against the inside of her thigh. “That’s my girl, telling me what you want and how you want to use me.”
My hands slid up her thighs slowly until I reached the edge of her underwear.
With one knuckle, I traced along the lace seam, back and forth, teasing her until she was trembling.
Then, I bent forward and dragged them down with my teeth, letting them fall to the floor before I tucked them in my pocket.
“Fuck.” Her head fell back.
“Don’t look away, Ellie,” I murmured, lips brushing her skin. “Eyes on me. I want you to watch exactly how I make you come.”
I licked up her center slowly, just to hear that breathy little moan again. When she tried to squirm away, I pressed a hand to her stomach and held her down. I dragged my tongue through her, rougher this time, until she gave me that sound—all needy and undone.
My cock was impossibly hard, straining against my pants as I noted every little reaction.
I slid one finger inside her and had to bite back a curse at how she felt around me.
She rocked her hips against my mouth, chasing it, and I gave her what she wanted.
No teasing. No games. Just the steady rhythm of my mouth and the curl of my finger inside her.
Every flick of my tongue, every pass over her clit, every moan she tried and failed to hold in just pushed me closer to the edge. I was barely hanging on. I pressed my hips into the mattress, grinding down like I could feed off the pressure building in me.
“Fuck, baby—Sawyer.” She panted. “Don’t stop. Please, please don’t stop.”
She was falling apart. I felt it in her thighs, the way they tensed against my shoulders, the way her fingers twisted in the sheets. Getting her off like this—watching her unravel because of me—was pushing me closer to the edge.
“Come for me,” I said, my voice low and urgent. “Now. Give it to me, Ellie baby.”
Her body shattered beneath me. Moans spilled freely from her lips, and her hands tangled in my hair, pulling me closer and arching hard into me.
That sound, her surrender, destroyed what was left of my control.
Every shudder, every desperate whimper, pushed me straight into oblivion.
I came in my fucking pants from the sounds of her alone.
My hips jerked uncontrollably, heat crashing through my body all at once.
My forehead dropped to her thigh, breath ragged.
“Fuck,” I whispered, trembling.
Her laugh was soft, warm, still tangled in the aftershocks. “Wait, did you just…”
“Yup. Couldn’t help it. Came just from the taste of you,” I growled, my teeth dragging along her thigh.