Chapter 39 Sawyer
THIRTY-NINE
Sawyer
The cool night air hit us as we stepped into the parking garage, Ellie stumbling beside me.
“I’m fine, you know.” She swatted at my arm when I reached for her. “You don’t have to baby me.”
“I’m not,” I muttered, steadying her anyway. I couldn’t help but touch her. “Just making sure you don’t crack your skull open.”
She glared at me, wobbling in heels that had no business being worn outside of a photo shoot. “You walk like you’re trying to leave me behind.”
“Maybe I should, with all that fucking attitude.”
“Asshole,” she grumbled, but her voice was soft around the edges. “Ugh, I don’t even know why I’m following you.”
Because I’d burn down the world before I let anyone else have you tonight. Because I couldn’t fucking help myself.
“Because I’m taking you home.”
She stopped walking, planting her feet, stubborn as hell. “Where’s Ben? He was supposed to take me.”
I kept walking. Looking at her too long was dangerous. “You were right there when I told him I’ve got you.”
She narrowed her eyes, her stare sharp enough to cut. “You can’t tell him what to do. You’re not his boss.”
“No,” I said quietly, “but you’re mine.” Her lips parted, and I raised a brow. “I don’t think either of us wants you navigating downtown in those heels with half a bottle of vodka in your system.”
“You’re not my dad.”
“Thank God for that,” I muttered.
“You’re the worst.”
“So you’ve said.”
She took a step and tripped again, and that was it. I did what I’d done back at the club, scooping her up and tossing her over my shoulder.
“Oh my God,” she shrieked, pounding weakly at my back. “Are you serious? Again?”
“Can’t have my fake girlfriend breaking her ankle mid-tour, can I?”
“I don’t need saving,” she groaned, still kicking.
“Didn’t say you did. I’m just making sure you don’t face-plant on the concrete before I get to see you perform live again.”
I reached the car, juggled my keys out with one hand, and unlocked it. Once I set her down gently on her feet, I opened the door for her. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes blazing like she was ready to start another fight. She slid into the passenger seat with a dramatic huff and crossed her arms.
I rounded the hood and climbed in, but I didn’t start the car. I stared straight ahead, jaw clenched, trying to breathe past the storm inside me.
But the words broke loose anyway.
“What the hell are we doing, El?”
She blinked, mascara smudged under her eyes, looking like sin and softness all at once. “What?”
“This.” I gestured between us, trying to keep my voice steady. “You texted me to come save you. You flirt. You kiss me then avoid me. Then, you act like none of it means anything.” My voice cracked on the last words.
She looked away.
I kept going, because now that I’d started, I couldn’t stop. “I’m not mad,” I whispered. “I’m confused. I like you, Ellie. That’s not new information, but I can’t keep getting yanked back and forth. I’m not built like that.”
Silence.
Then, slowly, she reached across the console and laced her fingers through mine. Her touch burned.
“I know.” Her thumb brushed over my knuckles.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I just…” She swallowed, her voice small.
“I’m scared, Sawyer. I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time.
But when I’m around you, I want…more. I just don’t know if I’m ready for more or if I even know how without being too much. ”
I let her words sink in—let myself feel every damn inch of them. I squeezed her hand.
“I’m not asking for everything,” I said, my voice rough from the pure fucking weight of wanting her. “I just need to know if this,” I lifted her hand, pressing it to my chest, right over the thundering heart, “is real, or if I’m a fool for thinking it could be.”
Her fingers curled against me.
“It’s real,” she breathed—and then she climbed into my lap.
“Ellie.”
Her finger pressed to my mouth, silencing me. “Shh.”
“You’re drunk,” I rasped.
“I know exactly what I’m doing.”
“You don’t,” I bit out, fighting every instinct inside me. “You think you do, but you don’t.”
“Tell me what I know again.” She leaned in, kissing a line along my jaw—soft, sweet, devastating.
“Ellie,” I warned, my voice shaking.
“No.” She smiled against my skin. “Say it. Ellie baby. Call me Ellie baby.”
I gritted my teeth, hating how fast I caved.
“Ellie baby,” I groaned.
She moaned softly, a sound that damn near broke me, and I leaned in to capture her mouth. My eyes rolled back in my head at the feel of her lips against mine again, and fuck, I wanted more.
But I pulled back.
“I’m not touching you,” I said through clenched teeth.
She pouted. “Why not?”
“Because you told me twice this couldn’t happen again.” My hands fisted against the seat beneath her, desperate to hold on. “And I’m not stupid enough to fall for it a third time.”
Her eyes gleamed, lips hovering near mine. “So what happens now?”
My chest burned. My body screamed for her.
“If you need something tonight?” My voice was strained. “Fine. Use me. Ride me. Do whatever it takes to forget the world for a few hours. But I’m not laying a single hand on you until you’re sober, looking me in the eye, and asking for it.”
She trembled in my lap. “And your words?” she asked. “Can I still have those?”
Fuck. I nodded once.
“You sure you can handle that?” I rasped.
“Try me.”
Her hips rolled once, slow and devastating. A taunt. A threat. A fucking promise. I groaned; the sound ripped straight from my chest.
“Tell me what you’d be doing to me if your hands weren’t staying put,” she said.
I closed my eyes for a beat, forcing every muscle in my body not to betray me.
“You sure you want that?”
She leaned in, lips brushing mine without kissing. “Yes.”
Her breath hitched, hips rocking harder. My exhale came rough, ragged. I clenched my jaw, trying to hold on.
Then, I gave in. I leaned up and put my mouth right at her ear.
“You want me to be your boyfriend tonight?” My voice was rough. “Want me whispering every filthy thing I’ve dreamed of while you ride me like you already fucking belong to me?”
Her breath hitched. “God, yes.”
She rocked down on me again. The heat of her pressed right against my cock, searing through every damn layer like it wasn’t even there.
She bucked forward again, slow, dragging herself over me with just enough pressure to make me hiss through my teeth.
“You feel that?” My voice broke apart, low and raw. “Feel how fucking hard I am for you? God, Ellie—please—don’t stop. Don’t fucking stop.”
She whimpered, grinding harder, rubbing herself over me with a need that shattered something inside me. My hands dug into the seat, desperate not to grab her. If I did, I wouldn’t let go.
“Fuck, Ellie.” My head tipped back, breath totally gone. “You’re making me lose my goddamn mind.”
She leaned in, her nails scraping along the back of my neck, dragging tiny shocks across my skin. Her touch was barely there, but it lit me up like a fuse.
“More,” she whispered shakily, voice shaky. “I need your words.”
I almost groaned from how much I needed her to fucking need them.
“Keep grinding like that,” I rasped. “Rub that sweet, soaking cunt all over me. Ruin my fucking jeans. Let me feel how wet you are. Please, baby, give it to me. Give it all to me.”
Her moan punched straight through my chest. She rolled her hips harder. The heat between us was brutal, pure torture, and I wanted every second of it.
“That’s it,” I growled, breathless. “Just like that, baby. Get it. Take what you need.”
Her breath stuttered as her hips jerked. “God, Sawyer—”
“Yeah, that’s it.” My voice darkened. “You’re so fucking wet for me, aren’t you? Couldn’t even wait. Had to crawl into my lap and use me. That what you’re doing, Ellie baby? Using me to get off?”
She whimpered, and her forehead dropped to mine.
“Fuck,” I groaned, dizzy from her. “I want to bend you over this seat, push that little dress up, and rip your panties off.”
Her breath caught, her hips grinding faster, reckless now.
“More,” she gasped, her voice breaking apart. “Tell me what you’d do.”
“I’d tease you with just the tip. Just enough to make you beg. Then, I’d push in so goddamn slow, El. So slow, you’d feel every inch of me stretching you.”
She let out a strangled sound as her hips moved faster, chasing it.
“You’d beg me to go deeper.” I kept going, the words half a snarl. “Beg me to fill you up until you couldn’t think. And I’d give it to you. Right here. In this car. I’d fuck you so hard, you wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow. You want that, baby?”
“Yes—fuck, yes—please,” she gasped, all wild and desperate.
I was shaking, fucked up from the sight of her head thrown back, body grinding in my lap, falling apart because of me.
“I wouldn’t stop.” I groaned. “Not until my cum dripped down your thighs. Until you were crying my name loud enough to wake the whole goddamn city.”
“Yes,” she sobbed. “Yes. Please, please—”
“Don’t stop,” I begged. “Please, baby. Make yourself come. Be my good girl and take what you need. Show me what I do to you.”
She rocked harder, shameless. I could feel her unraveling, the tension building with her movements growing erratic.
“Come on, baby,” I murmured, my lips brushing her ear. “Let go. Show me how beautiful you are when you fall apart.”
And boy, did she. She let out a broken cry, biting her lip as her body shuddered against me. She kept moving, riding it out, trembling with every wave crashing through her with breathless whimpers and desperate little gasps.
I didn’t move, even when every part of me begged to.
Her forehead dropped to my shoulder, her breath hot and uneven, chest heaving against mine.
God, I wanted to hold her and never let her go.
But I kept my promise. I only brought my mouth to her ear again.
“You’re fucking perfect when you fall apart for me, Ellie baby.”
She whimpered something between my name and a prayer.
And I stayed right there, letting her come down, still aching for her.