9. Mimi
Mimi
Watching Evan play was electric. My gaze settled on him the moment he stepped onto the ice.
I much preferred watching him and his little idiosyncrasies, from skating around the team logo to fist-bumping each of his teammates before the national anthem to tapping his right glove with his left three times to help up any player on the ice—his teammate or the opposition—to touching the top of the goal before each possession.
Each action taught me something about Ev, and I thrilled at each nuance. The more I watched him interact with his teammates, showing them the same care he showed me, the less I was able to stop my runaway feelings.
But I had to. It was the right thing to do.
Evan and I weren’t a couple; circumstances had tossed us together.
He was making the best of the situation for his career.
Still, I was thrilled when I received a message from my building’s manager stating the air conditioning unit for my building was back-ordered. That meant more days with Evan.
Except Naomi was feeling better and wanted me to stay with her and Adam. “You’re at the game?” she said right after her “Hi, honey.”
“Yeah. I’m in the box. It’s swanky.”
“It is. You never go to the game. I can barely get you to watch them at my house, and I have a margarita machine.”
“I know. It’s just Hugh said it was good for optics.”
“Who the hell is Hugh?”
“He’s the crisis consultant the Wildcatters brought in. He’s the one working with the museum to make sure the tapestry gets fixed—”
“The tapestry, huh. Funny about that. I had a call from the hotel asking for a hundred bucks for the dry-cleaning bill for that thing.”
“No way! Hugh said it’s priceless. He said—”
“He’s full of shit, and if Gunnar didn’t have one of the worst cases of food poisoning in the history of the world, he’d be all over this. But now that Gunnar’s going to be moved out of ICU, I’ll call him.”
My world shifted. “No…that can’t be right. Hugh…he said…” My mind blanked. My foundational reason for being with Evan had just evaporated.
“So you can come to our place. No need to do what that con artist tells you. Adam will bring you after the game.”
“I need to talk to Evan about this,” I said, my tone subdued. “He deserves to know.”
Naomi was quiet. “I know I failed you the past few days. I should have insisted you come here then. I’m worried now that this Hugh fucker took advantage of you, of Evan. He’s been good to you?”
“Oh, he’s the best. We get along great.” I smiled.
“How great?”
I sobered. “We’re friends, Naomi.” That response tasted like ash on my tongue. We were more than friends, becoming much more. I just wasn’t ready to tell my sister yet; I wasn’t ready to think about why I wasn’t ready to tell my sister.
“The game’s starting again. I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.” I clicked off and chewed my lip, even more unsure about the world after talking to Naomi. I stayed in the box and texted Adam to let him know I’d head home with Evan. Then, I waited, my thoughts more twisted than ever.
Evan showed up much later as I was stress-eating from the buffet. His beaming smile lightened my mood, and I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arm around his waist while I brought the other to his mouth. “Try this.”
“What is it?”
“Delicious.”
Staring into my eyes, he opened his mouth. I popped the salmon nigiri in. I made sure it was cooked so Evan wouldn’t get sick. Immediately, his eyes popped wide, and he chewed with increased vigor.
“That’s good,” he breathed.
Somehow, that wide-eyed response was even more of a turn-on than the banana incident earlier.
I licked my lower lip, and his expression morphed from surprise to hunger.
He lowered his head an inch, then waited.
I rose on my toes and kissed him. He moved his hand from my waist down to my lower back and hauled me tighter against his hard body.
I shuddered as I opened my mouth, loving the feel of his tongue gliding against my own.
He pulled back a moment later and peered around. “I didn’t even look to see if anyone else was here.” He offered that lopsided smile I craved. “Glad they weren’t. But still. I need to have more awareness. I don’t want to embarrass you.”
And that was the moment I tumbled from infatuation into love. Everything clicked into place. A moment later, terror clawed at my throat. I was too young; I wasn’t ready…I’d never wanted to open myself like this, be this vulnerable with anyone.
“Want another nigiri?” I stepped away. Confusion flitted across his face, but he cleared it.
“Uh. Sure.”
I busied myself making him a plate, then prattled on about the game, my phone call with my sister, anything I could think of to fill the silence and slow the worries in my mind. I kept up my chatter all the way back to his condo. He kept shooting me looks.
Once we entered his place, I yawned. While unintentional, it was real because of the late hour.
“You’re tired.” Disappointment slithered into his eyes, but he offered a smile. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
After a brief hesitation, I rose on my toes and swiped my lips across his cheek. “Good night.”
He froze, no doubt hearing the catch in my voice, but he nodded. I turned on my heel and headed to my room.
The next morning, I woke early, my mind already abuzz with what I needed to do. I had to leave Ev’s place and let the sweet man get back to his life. Dejected but resolved, I packed my bag and made the bed. I tiptoed to the kitchen and made myself a coffee. His journal was on the counter.
I warred with myself, but it was open, so it wasn’t like I was snooping. Not really. I had an addiction to the thing, and I hated the compulsion, but I still couldn’t stop, especially not now that I saw my name. Last night’s entry stated:
· Did not Google my save percentage
· Let Emmy reorganize the pantry, even though the labels made sense before
· Tried sushi (regret it, not as good as pad Thai, but I’d do it again for Emmy)
· Did not freak out when she touched my stick tape
· Only re-taped it once after she went to bed
At the bottom, smaller:
· I think she makes things quieter in my head
I rubbed a hand over my chest as the ache I both loved and feared blossomed, just as it did the last time I read his words.
“I can’t be in love with Evan.”