6. Taking the Lead
Taking the Lead
SUNANDA
It had been days since the fight. Days of silence.
Days of not knowing what to feel, or even what to think.
I’d thrown myself into work—teaching my students, making sure they didn’t see the way my world had fallen apart.
After finding my hearing aids back in the woods, I had to keep it together for them.
I had to. They needed me, even if I wasn’t sure who I was anymore.
But at night, when the world was quiet and I was alone with my thoughts, I felt the weight of everything pressing down on me. Mateo’s words, his confession, still echoed in my mind.
“I’m a werewolf. You’re my mate.”
That moment had been a jagged cut in the fabric of my reality.
I couldn’t stop hearing them. I couldn’t stop feeling them.
He hadn’t lied, really. I knew he hadn’t.
But the idea of Mateo, the man I’d finally allowed myself to care about—being something other than human, being a creature of the night…
It was too much. It felt like a betrayal, but at the same time, it felt like something I should have known.
Deep down, I had always felt it. The way he looked at me.
The way we’d always gravitated toward each other quietly.
But knowing the truth, seeing it for what it was, was different. And it terrified me.
I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t pretend like nothing had happened. The hurt, the confusion—it was too big to ignore. But despite how angry I was, I couldn’t get rid of the small, painful part of me that missed him. That wanted him with me.
I had spent days avoiding him, trying to convince myself that I was better off without him, that we were both better off apart. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t true. I had tried to push him out of my heart, but I couldn’t. Was this the bond he spoke of? The strange invisible magnetic pull.
When I woke up this morning, I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t stay in this limbo forever. I needed to confront him.
It was time to stop running from the truth and face whatever it was between us, no matter how dark or terrifying. Because running away had never worked for me before. And apparently it didn’t work for that lanky boy who sat behind me in chemistry class either.
I grabbed my jacket, a mix of dread and resolve gnawing at my insides. The wind was crisp, a reminder, once again, that the seasons were rapidly changing. I had no idea if Mateo was still in the woods, haunting the very place his wolf attacked me.
But I had to go.
The streets were still empty in the early hours of the day. It was the perfect time—no distractions, no prying eyes. I made my way down the familiar path that led into the woods.
Every rustle of a leaf, every crack of a twig beneath my feet felt amplified in the stillness, as though the forest itself was holding its breath. I felt like I was being watched.
I couldn’t help but feel like it was Mateo.
The deeper I walked, the more I felt like I was making my way toward a decision—a conclusion that I wasn’t sure I was ready for.
I didn’t know what I was going to say when I found him. I didn’t know how I was going to be with him. All I knew was that I had to see him. I had to understand him, even if it meant facing the very thing that terrified me.
And then, as if the woods themselves had heard my thoughts, I saw him. There, just ahead, through the trees.
He stood still, his back to me, his posture rigid, as though he had been waiting for me all along.
He didn’t turn around. Didn’t make a sound. But I could feel the tension between us. The invisible thread that had always connected us, even when we tried to pull away from each other.
I took a hesitant step forward, and then another.
The moment I closed the distance, he turned, his eyes locking onto mine.
And for a brief second, everything around us disappeared.
It was just us, standing in the middle of the woods, two people caught in something we didn’t fully understand, something neither of us could escape.
He looked more wild, more untamed. His face was shadowed by something darker than just the trees. His eyes—those eyes—glowed faintly in the dim light.
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my voice steady. “Mateo…”
His name felt foreign on my lips, like I had to relearn it all over again.
“Sunanda,” he replied softly, his voice a little rough, like he hadn’t spoken in days. “I knew you’d come back to me.”
I didn’t know if that made me angry or sad, but I kept moving toward him, my heart pounding in my chest.
“I don’t know what to do with you,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper. “I don’t know what to feel anymore.”
He took a small step toward me, but stopped short. He was giving me space—letting me take the lead. His face was torn between the man I had known briefly upon my return and the beast he had become.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now,” he said, his voice quiet, almost pleading while his hands moved. “I know I’ve hurt you, but I can’t change what I am. All I can do is be here. For you. If you’ll let me.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, the words crashing into me like a wave. There was so much hurt, so much confusion, and yet… I felt that pull.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I asked, my voice thick with emotion. “Why didn’t you tell me while we were still kids? Why did you keep this from me?”
Mateo sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair, clearly struggling.
“I was scared of what it would do to you. Scared of what it would mean for us. I was born into this, but you? You didn’t ask for this.
I—” He stopped himself, and for a moment, I thought he was going to say more.
But instead, he looked at me with something softer than I’d seen before.
“It’s always been you, Sunanda. Even if you never returned, dooming me to an existence without a mate.
I would have accepted it. But now that you’re here...
I don’t want to lose you again. I can’t. ”
His words hung in the air, and for a long time, neither of us moved.
I think, in the quiet of that moment, once I truly let his words sink in…
I finally understood. He wasn’t asking me to accept his world, his beast. He was asking me to decide if I could be a part of it, if I could live with it, with him.
And as the wind rustled through the trees, I felt the weight of the decision fall onto my shoulders.
I didn’t know if I could ever fully accept this new reality I had been thrust into. But I knew that I wasn’t ready to walk away from him yet, not without giving him the chance he deserved. The boy who’s always quietly been beside me without me realizing it.
With a deep breath, I stepped closer, closing the gap between us.
“I don’t know what this means, Mateo,” I said quietly. “But I’m not ready to give up on you. After all, you never gave up on me.”
He nodded slowly, a mix of relief and sorrow in his eyes.
“Then we’ll figure it out together,” he whispered, gently caressing my cheek with the back of his knuckle.
For the first time in days, I allowed myself to believe that maybe there was still a way forward for us. Even if it meant walking through the darkness side by side.