Chapter 17
Tucker
Ruth is nervous. It’s there in the stiff set of her spine and the way she’s about to chew off her poor lower lip as we make our way in through the back door of my parents’ house, Birdie squirming in her arms.
I was hoping meeting most of my family beforehand would make tonight a little less stressful. And maybe it has. I would hate to see what she’d have been like if we’d gone into this cold turkey. I’d probably have to carry her out and then Trevor would have had a whole heart attack over it.
I gotta admit, I don’t hate the idea.
“I think I’m going to throw up.” Ruth's grip on my hand is tight as we walk down the hall. “Where’s the closest bathroom?”
“You’re not going to throw up. You’re going to be amazing.” Reassuring her is easy, because I believe it with the entirety of my being. Ruth is awesome, and there is not a doubt in my mind my mother is going to love her. Who wouldn’t?
I’m still gonna show her where the bathroom is. Just to put her mind at ease.
We take a quick detour, turning down the hall leading to the nearest location she can escape to if the need does arise. It’s also probably the place she’ll be most comfortable taking Birdie if her toddler decides to destroy a diaper.
I don’t foresee that happening though. In the two days that she’s been staying with me, the only time Birdie seems to take a shit is when she can get inside my room.
At this point, I’m starting to get a little concerned the smell is going to become a permanent fixture.
Even the scented candles and odor eliminating spray I bought don’t always take the edge off the noxious fumes.
I never would have guessed something so cute could smell so bad.
Flipping on the bathroom light, I lead Ruth inside, closing the door as she sets Birdie onto the floor. I give her a minute to pull in some deep breaths before asking, “Ready?”
Ruth shakes her head. “Absolutely not.” She gives me a weak smile. “But I’m going to do it anyway.”
“That’s good to hear, because we’ve come a little too far to back out now.” I start to laugh thinking about what would unfold if we ducked out. “And my mom will absolutely lose her shit if she doesn’t get to meet Birdie tonight, because I’m sure she’s already heard all about her.”
It’s actually a little strange my mother hasn’t shown up on my doorstep, hoping to get her hands on Ruth’s daughter. Maybe she’s been busy. Distracted with the twins and simply didn’t have enough time to make it to my square of the property.
Or, maybe she’s already figured out I’m full of shit and decided not to get attached because she’s planning on calling my bluff tonight.
Asking me outright what’s really going on with me and Ruth.
If she does, I’m going to have to figure out how to become one hell of a good liar, because I won’t have Ruth feeling like she’s screwed this up.
“We need to get out there.” Ruth smooths down the waves she curled into her dark hair just for tonight. “I’m pretty sure someone heard us come in, and they’re going to start wondering why we’ve been in the bathroom for so long.”
“Only because Birdie’s in here with us.” I smirk, thinking about the night Titus and Mariah were in this very same room. “If it was just you and me, they’d have a pretty good idea why we’ve been in the bathroom for so long.”
A look of horror crosses Ruth’s face. “Ew. No.” She shakes her head aggressively. “No way would I even pretend we would do that in your parents' bathroom during family dinner.” Her chin tucks, eyes widening as she looks me up and down. “Please tell me that’s not something you would ever do either.”
Any hope I have that I’ve become better at lying flies right out the window when Ruth’s mouth drops open at the look on my face.
“Gross.” She wrinkles her nose. “I hope your mother grounded you.”
“My mother stopped grounding me when I moved out.” I don’t realize how wrong that answer is until Ruth gasps.
“You did it as an adult?”
“It wasn’t at family dinner night. It was during a very large party with lots of noise. No one even noticed I was gone.”
I don’t normally feel inclined to defend the social life I’ve chosen. What goes on between two consenting adults is no one else’s business. But I don’t like the way Ruth is looking at me right now. Like I’m an asshole. Like learning this information is changing what she thinks of me.
And I don’t have the opportunity to do any more damage control, because a heavy hand bangs on the door.
“You know Mom saw you come in, right?” Walker’s voice carries through the wood between us. “If you want her to believe this bullshit you’ve got going on, you better get your asses out here real fucking quick or she’s going to start questioning things before you even get started.”
Ruth pales. “Who is that?” Her voice is barely a whisper. “And why does he think this is bullshit?”
“Because it is.” Walker answers her. “But I’m not going to rat you out, because I’m pretty sure this is all gonna work out in my favor.”
His steps are heavy as he walks away, leaving me with a very freaked out woman pacing from one end of the bathroom to the other.
There may be almost a decade between us, but Walker and I have always gotten along well. Now it seems like I might have to kick his ass for upsetting Ruth. I don’t want to, but it has to be done.
Probably not at dinner though. That certainly won't do me any favors regarding my mother.
“Come on, Ruthless.” I grab her by the hand when she comes close enough to reach. Then I scoop Birdie up off the floor, holding her in the crook of one arm as I tug Ruth out into the hall. “The longer we put this off, the harder it’s going to be.”
I’m essentially dragging my partner in crime through the house. But, as I’m a little concerned she’s not going to come willingly, I keep my grip tight and lead Ruth into the kitchen, a smile I hope will make it seem like everything’s fine plastered on my face.
My mother focuses on us immediately, dropping whatever she’s been working on to the counter before wiping her hands as she comes toward us. “There they are.” She gives Ruth a warm smile. “My kids always picked the worst possible times to need a diaper change, too.”
Ruth manages what could be considered a smile if you don’t know her. The expression tightens more and more as my mother closes in on us, until it looks almost painful stretched across her pretty features.
“You must be Ruth.” My mother stops right in front of her and I hold my breath, uncertain what she’s going to say or do next.
Ruth is the first woman to come to family dinner night who my mother doesn’t already know in some way. She hired Mariah to work for Titus, and had a decade-long friendship with Brooke. Pulling them into our fold was easy and natural because they were already technically in it.
But Ruth is different. In so many ways.
My mother lifts one hand, like she’s going to reach for her, but quickly clenches her fingers into a fist, letting it drop back by her side. Her smile stays warm and genuine when she says, “I’m so very glad you were able to join us tonight.”
There is no hint of suspicion in her tone. Just pure honesty.
Ruth seems to sense it too, because the tension tightening her body seems to ease a little, and her smile becomes more genuine as she says, “Thank you. So am I.”
My mom gazes at her for a second longer before turning to the little girl in my arms. Her expression changes in a flash, brightening with excitement. “And you must be the famous Birdie.”
Birdie grins widely, putting all her perfect little baby teeth on display. One hand stretches in the direction of my mother’s face, and I quickly take a step back, warning, “Watch her finger.”
But my mother is oblivious to anything I’m saying or doing. All her attention is on who she likely sees as her newest grandbaby. Again, her hands are up, but she hesitates, turning to Ruth to ask, “Is it okay if I hold her?”
I love how careful my family is being with these two.
The respect they’re showing Ruth as a mother and the autonomy they're so careful to give Birdie. I wish I could tell them how grateful I am, but that would step dangerously close to putting myself in a position where I might spill more than I should. So all I can do is watch and appreciate the people I was lucky enough to be given on this earth as they dote on the little girl I’m trying—and failing—to not grow attached to.
My mother scoops her from my arms, happiness written all over her face as she tells the toddler how happy she is to meet her and that she has a special place to sit at the table and new toys to play with after we eat.
She goes to the island where Trevor is stealing veggies from a tray, and I have to think she chooses him on purpose.
Like maybe she wants to gauge his reaction to a kid.
Trevor’s been around the babies plenty, but they’re different from a walking, somewhat talking, little human.
Like me, Ruth is watching the whole interaction, but her expression is unreadable.
Mostly.
Reaching out, I hook an arm around her waist, bringing her body to mine as I lean close. “Does all this feel weird?”
“Very.” Her eyes swing to my face before going back to where Birdie is babbling at my mom and brother. “I don’t really have any family, so I’ve never seen her in a situation like this before.” She swallows, the line of her throat flexing as she sniffs. “It makes me a little sad.”
I don’t expect Ruth to tell me all her deepest darkest secrets, but I wish she would.
If for no other reason than so I could better understand what she’s gone through.
I know there’s no way for me to fix it—I learned long ago pain and sadness aren’t emotions that can be repaired—I just hate that she’s feeling alone.
Since I have no right to ask the questions I’m desperate to have answered, I circle my other arm around her and bring her in for a hug, pressing my face into the sweetly scented fall of her dark hair. “I’m sorry you’re sad.”
I don’t know if my words will help anything—don’t know if they would have ever helped me—but they’re the best I have to offer. I wish there was more I could do or say, but there’s not.
Nothing fixes the sort of ache she carries. That I carry. The only thing you can do is ensure it never gets worse.
Ruth goes still against me for a second, but then she must remember where we are and what we’re supposed to be doing. Her arms come around me, circling my waist in a surprisingly tight grip as she presses her face into my chest, pulling in a deep breath. “Thank you.”
I run a hand up and down her back, trying to offer what little comfort I can as she stays tucked close.
It’s the sort of embrace I’ve never experienced with a woman who wasn’t my mother.
One built out of comfort and connection.
Care and concern. Even then, I was the one on the receiving end.
And I have to say, it feels just as good where I’m standing now.
But it’s over before I can fully enjoy it, because Ruth gasps, her head tipping back so suddenly the top of her skull bumps my chin, slamming my teeth together.
She winces as her eyes land on my face. “Sorry.” Her fingers come up to press against my chin like she’s checking for injury.
“I just remembered we forgot your dessert in the side-by-side.”
Before I can tell her I’ll take care of it, Ruth has turned away, pulling out of my grip to dart for the back door.
Realistically, I know the chances of her crossing paths with one of the many creatures of the night is slim to none, but I’m still a little edgy after Matt showed up here looking for Brooke.
If that dumbass can find our home, who’s to say the one harassing Ruth can’t?
So I trail behind her, catching up as she ducks out the door.
Ruth jumps when she sees me. “You didn’t have to come. I’m just gonna grab it real quick.”
“I’ll feel better coming with you.” I close the door behind us and stay beside her as we go down the steps and follow the path to the spot next to the garage where we parked. “I’m pretty sure you could handle a mountain lion on your own, but I’d rather not find out.”
Ruth spins to face me as we reach the UTV, wide eyes scanning the darkened night around us. “Are there really mountain lions out here?”
I move closer, because there are, and I don’t want her to be afraid. “Yes, but they’re more scared of you than you are of them.” I smirk. “At least they should be.”
Ruth is one of the most capable women I’ve ever met. She’s brave and strong and determined. I’m pretty sure a big cat wouldn’t know what hit them if it tried to tangle with her.
It sure as hell wouldn’t know what hit it when I came after it next, because there’s no way I’m letting anything hurt her. Not a wild animal, and sure as hell not the man terrorizing her.
Ruth rolls her eyes at my teasing. She usually does, but there’s also a smile on her face this time. “Whatever.”
“I mean it.” All joking seems to flee my body, replaced by a seriousness I don’t usually feel. “You’re not someone to be fucked with, Ruthless.”
Ruth’s big eyes blink up at me. “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She pushes up on her toes, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. “Thank you.”
I don’t know why, but I’m grinning. “You’re welcome.”
For good measure, I lean in and kiss her back. It’s just a quick peck. No tongue involved. Just a simple press of my lips to hers.
Except when it’s over, I don’t fully pull away. I can’t. It’s like I’m stuck. Unable to put distance back between us.
Ruth doesn’t move away either. Her lips stay less than an inch from mine as her eyes move over my face.
I don’t know who moves next. It could be me. It could be her.
It could be both of us.
All I know is in the blink of an eye, Ruth is in my arms, pulled tight against me, sliding her tongue against mine as I press her back against the door of my side-by-side.
She’s quite a bit shorter than me, and it’s not long before I get tired of hunching over.
Gripping her ass cheeks tight, I heft her up until we’re face to face.
Ruth yelps a little, the sound traveling from her mouth to mine as the sudden change in elevation sends her scrambling to hold onto me.
But when her legs lock at my hips and I press her tighter to the vehicle, I’m swallowing a moan instead of a yelp.
The sound is like a drug, and I only want more of it.
More of her.
Using my hips to keep her where she is, I run a hand over the generous curve of her hip, giving the softness there a squeeze on my way up her body. My palm is just curving around one supple breast when a loud voice pierces the night.
“Tuck. You better get your ass in here before your mother comes looking for you.”
Fucking Walker. Twice tonight he’s interrupted me.
And this one is absolutely going to result in an ass kicking.