Chapter 25
Tucker
Apart of me was hoping Ruth had fallen asleep so I’d be able to assemble Birdie’s bed tonight without her knowing and I could show them both the finished product in the morning. But I’m not mad at how things actually worked out.
Especially not since it’s resulted in Ruth’s body pressed tight to mine.
I knew Ruth would like the castle bed I made for Birdie. To be fair, most people would be impressed with the thing. I’ve spent a huge amount of my own time—and paid a few of my employees to dedicate some of theirs—so I could have it done early enough Birdie can use it a little before they move.
I expected a sweet smile and a thank you.
Possibly a hug. Ruth isn’t prone to big reactions, and each of those is the equivalent of someone else jumping up and down squealing with delight.
I’m not sure what flinging herself into my arms and pressing her lips to mine equates to, besides me coming up with a litany of very bad ideas.
The primary one being that I should carry Ruth straight to my room so I can see what she looks like in my bed at least once. Unfortunately, the second that thought registers, it’s all my brain is willing to fixate on besides how perfect she feels against me.
How much more perfect she feels under me.
But then Ruth pulls away, and I’m pretty sure any opportunity I had has come and gone.
Especially when a frown works its way onto her lips.
She’s probably imagining how difficult it will be to move the furniture behind me. While it can be disassembled and packed flat, the individual pieces are still heavy. Still large enough to be unwieldy for someone Ruth’s height.
But that’s not something she needs to worry about.
“I hired a moving company to get everything to Maryland, so you don’t have to worry about dealing with this.” I continue on when her frown deepens. “They’re going to take your car too. That way Birdie won’t be stuck in her seat for four days.”
I expected Ruth to be happy about this. Relieved she doesn’t have to do a cross-country road trip with a toddler. Instead, she almost seems upset. Fuck. Did I overstep?
“I’m not trying to take over, I just want you and Birdie to be happy. Renting a U-Haul to move yourself didn’t sound like something that would make you happy.”
Honestly, moving to Maryland doesn’t either. She has no one there. No friends. No family. Everything is new and unknown and she’ll be completely by herself. Far enough away it will take me hours to get to her if she needs me.
And make no mistake—if she needed me, I’d be there.
But that’s not a decision I can make for her. Especially since I still don’t know the full reason why she’s so determined to get as far from Wyoming as she can.
“Why are you doing all of this?” Ruth’s voice is barely a whisper. “Why are you taking care of all of this for me?”
That’s an easy answer. “Because you deserve to be taken care of.” Possibly more than anyone I’ve ever met.
From the very beginning, Ruth’s willingness to do whatever it takes to take care of her child has hit me right in the gut. It reminds me of my mom. Of Melinda. Of Mariah.
And I know it’s how Kara would’ve been if she’d had the chance.
Ruth’s eyes search my face. I wish I knew what she was looking for. I’d give it to her. Happily.
She swallows hard, the column of her neck moving with the action as her eyes drop to focus on the center of my chest. As if she can read my thoughts, she says, “I’m sorry I came here to trick you.” Her eyes flash to mine before dropping again. “That I lied about Birdie being yours.”
I shake my head. “Don’t be sorry for that.” I smile, thinking back on that day. “It might be one of my favorite things about you.”
Her eyes jump to mine again, widening in surprise. “Why would that be one of your favorite things about me?”
“Because it shows what a good mother you are. That you’ll do anything for Birdie.
” Maybe if I hadn’t known for a fact I’d never slept with Ruth, I might have seen things a little different in the beginning.
I still would’ve come around. Would’ve respected her and the lengths she went to for her child.
Ruth is silent for a minute. She takes a deep breath before giving me something I thought I wanted. “The man who was at my door that day was sent by Birdie’s biological father. His name is William Sheppard. He’s a senator.” Her expression hardens. “And a terrible, awful human.”
It’s been so hard not to pry into her history. Especially knowing how easy it would be to collect everything there was to know. All it would have taken was a call to Heidi and Ruth’s past would be delivered directly to my email.
But that felt so invasive. So wrong. I couldn’t bring myself to do it no matter how much I wanted to.
And in this moment, it becomes clear that was absolutely the right thing to do.
Because the only thing stopping me from putting on my boots and hunting down William fucking Sheppard is the way the woman in front of me is leaning closer.
Like she needs me close to protect her from even the memories of that piece of shit man.
“He would stay at the hotel where I worked when he was in town and was always so nice to me.” She takes in a shaky breath, like this is painful for her to talk about. “We’d interacted a few times before he asked me out to dinner.” Her voice drops to barely a whisper. “I shouldn’t have gone.”
I keep my breathing steady and calm, hoping the rest of me will follow suit. “Does he know he’s Birdie’s father?”
“Not officially.” She closes her eyes before admitting. “When I told him I was pregnant, he paid for me to get an abortion.”
“But…” My head turns in the direction where the little girl I care about more and more every day is sleeping. “You didn’t.”
Ruth shakes her head. “I booked the appointment, but when it came time to go, I couldn’t do it.
” She sniffs, chin lifting defiantly. “It wasn’t his decision to make anyway.
” She sucks in a breath. “And it’s not like I wanted him involved.
By the time I found out I was pregnant, I’d started to see him for what he was. ”
“And what is he?” It’s a question I don’t technically need to ask her. She wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t an asshole. And the first thing I’m going to do tomorrow morning is call Heidi to find out just how big of one he is. Now that Ruth has broken the seal, I don’t feel bad about opening the dam.
Ruth laughs, the sound bitter. “What isn’t he? The man’s an adulterer. A hypocrite. A liar. A manipulator. He fed me so much bullshit, and… And I ate it up, because the taste distracted me from how sad I was over losing my mom.”
I swallow hard. I understand that feeling. The need to do whatever it takes to avoid feeling the pain you’re in.
It’s what I’ve been doing for years.
And I convinced myself I was being noble about it. Like I was a good guy for being upfront and honest with the women who crossed my path. I patted myself on the back and gave myself a gold star.
Unable to admit that at the end of the day, all I was really doing was using them.
“I tried to hide my pregnancy from him.” Ruth continues telling her story, oblivious to the way it’s imploding my own sense of self.
“Made sure I was off work when I knew he was coming into town. Changed my phone number. Moved apartments. Got a different car. Did everything I could to keep him from finding out.” Her lips flatten.
“But then one day one of the newer front desk attendants mentioned that the general manager was about to have a baby, and everything fell apart.”
“Things do have a way of falling apart when you least expect it.”
Like right now. I’m fucking crumbling.
Ruth huffs out a humorless laugh. “You can say that again.” She reaches out to toy with the front of my shirt as she continues.
“William hired a private detective to stalk me, and once he knew for sure I was pregnant, he started calling me. Threatening me.” Her expression turns sad.
“He spread lies about me at the hotel. Everyone there turned on me. And two days after I had Birdie, I was fired. Luckily I’d been saving as much as I could, because all the lies he told followed my resume everywhere I sent it. ”
“You came to me because the money ran out.” And thank God it did or she would have gone to Maryland without our paths ever crossing.
And that possibility is almost unbearable to consider. Almost as hard to imagine as what I’m going to do when she’s gone.
Ruth presses her lips together, like she doesn’t want to admit what brought her to my doorstep. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You did the right thing.” The rightest thing. Because I will make sure she and Birdie are always okay. Even if I have to do it from across the country.
Ruth’s eyes dip before coming back to mine. “I agree.” She sucks in a breath like she’s about to say more.
But I don’t get to find out what it is. Because instead of elaborating, Ruth has her mouth on mine again, kissing me in a way she hasn’t before. It’s not fake or sweet or accidental.
It’s desperate. A little frantic. Just like the hands in my hair and the soft body rubbing against mine. It’s like she can’t get close enough. And I’d hate for her not to get what she wants.
Especially when what she wants is more of me.
Gripping her ass, I lift Ruth off the ground, holding tight as I carry her down the hall and into my bedroom.
Shifting my grip, I keep an arm banded across her back as I crawl onto the mattress.
Lowering Ruth to the blankets I push up to my knees, taking a second to stare down at her.
To bask in the sight of her dark hair splayed across the spot where I rest my head at night.
I memorize the way she looks up at me, cheeks flushed, pupils dilated.
Nothing will ever be as beautiful as this. As her. I want to strip her bare and track every curve of her body with my hands and mouth.
So that’s what I’m going to do.