Untamed

Chapter 46

chapter

forty-six

Ender

Haven won.

She’s on her knees, shoulders caved inward, staring at nothing. This should be her victory. Everything she schemed, lied, bled, and survived for is within her grasp. But all I see when I look at her is a broken little girl.

Spider left after she refused to come with him. Even the medical staff retreated when she snapped at them. They had reached for her with outstretched hands to fix her wounds, but she tore away from them like a wild animal.

I should be furious. She lied to me. Hid what she was. She used her powers again. To the untrained eye, it was impossible to see, but I saw the moment she saved the girl from the blade. Despite the rules, she protected her opponent.

Haven chose the rebels over the life I offered her.

She betrayed me. I should have her punished and executed.

I should erase her from my mind and move on with my life.

But I am trapped, held prisoner by my crippling need.

Even if I carved out my heart, it would still beat for her, and in her absence, it would shrivel.

I reckon there is no worse fate than to desire someone so consumingly, so violently that you grow sick from it.

That is the only thing that explains how ragged and miserable I’ve felt as of late, suffering to capture a scrape of her attention, raging over rodents like Sullivan, thinking about her ceaselessly.

It’s also why I haven’t broached the subject of the Bind with her. I know she will reject it. And I don’t have the strength to force her, not if it means I lose her in the process.

She looks so small like this, folded in on herself, shaking and frightened. A broken sound slips from her throat, raw and unguarded.

Her forest eyes are dark and glassy when she looks at me. Tears trickle down her cheeks, falling like pearls.

“Go away,” Haven says hoarsely.

Something splinters in my chest. I crouch despite myself, unable to abandon her during her time of need. Her hands are clenched so tight her knuckles have gone white.

“You made us do this,” she cries suddenly, fury cutting through the grief. “It wasn’t enough to win. We had to kill each other. This is all your fault!”

“Nobody can know about this unit,” I explain. “You all knew the risks when you joined.”

“You’re a monster,” she spits. “I hate you so much. I wish it were you on that stretcher and not them.”

Her words should harden me, but instead, they hurt. It cuts through my shields like a knife, wounding me in the process.

“I hate you, too,” I snap. “I never lied to you. Not once. And all you’ve done since we met is deceive me.”

How dare she look at me like I betrayed her, when she knew exactly who I was from the start? I never claimed to be good. Never pretended that my hands were clean. She is the one who crafted a web of lies. She is the dishonest one.

“What would happen if I lost?” Haven asks. “Would you bury me beside the others?”

My fingers drift along her cheek.

“I would never watch you fail,” I say.

Haven sucks in a breath. As if she didn’t expect that response, but how could she not? Does she not see how much I care for her? I am risking everything to protect her.

“So, their lives are worthless to you?” she asks coldly. “You would let them die, but you would save me.”

“I would always save you,” I admit. “It doesn’t matter how the story unfolds. You will always be my undoing, my downfall, the one thing I shouldn’t claim, and yet I desire so deeply it hurts.”

Haven stares at me with a wary look. She blames me for the death of her comrades. And my confession does not soothe her; it frightens her.

“Everyone I love is taken from me,” she whispers. “I have nothing.” Her voice sharpens. “You and your father are poison. This entire Continent is rotten. You treat us all terribly. Like we are replaceable. You are not fit to lead us.”

An applause cuts through the air like a gunshot.

I straighten, prepared to scold whoever dared to interrupt us. My blood runs cold when my father steps into the drill hall in a charcoal suit. His inky hair is swept away from his face. Dark eyes locked onto mine. There are four capital enforcers behind him, and to his left is Ansel.

The Supreme Director hasn’t visited the Forge in years, not since my graduation ceremony. Seeing him here feels wrong, like a god descending from the skies to walk amongst the mortals. Fear strikes me at his calm demeanor and the dry amusement in his eyes.

He heard her vitriol against the regime, against him. And he will kill her for it.

I rise abruptly and press a fist to my chest in respect.

“We weren’t expecting you, sir,” I say.

Haven stands shakily, blood staining her cheek, and copies my greeting. I move forward slightly, blocking her from his vision.

“What a passionate speech,” he says slowly. “Just the words we aim to hear from the newest member of Black Star.”

Ansel’s mouth twitches. For weeks, he has been waiting to prove me unfit. He probably called my father and tattled on me. It is the only thing that explains this surprise visit.

“She is grieving the loss of a comrade,” I explain. “I will ensure she is punished for her misguided speech.”

“You’ve been lax, Endymion,” he says, shaking his head in disappointment. “Weak.”

The word cuts me like a blade. It is his favored insult, the one he has used against me since my boyhood.

Nothing I do ever impresses him. No amount of victories or accolades or medals will ever make him find me worthy.

To him, I will always be that small boy who hid from the world because he couldn’t face reality.

I hate that his disapproving tone crawls under my skin.

“Your engagement to Haven Warrick is over.”

I stiffen.

“On what account?”

“I have found a better, more suitable candidate,” he says. “You will be Supreme Director one day, and it doesn’t suit you to have a Common on your arms.”

My jaw clenches tightly at his words, fighting him feels useless when he knows the outcome, but I have to protect Haven. Whatever he thinks he knows, I have to dismiss his concerns and assure him that she is not a threat and that this marriage must proceed as intended.

“What do you speak of?”

“Clover told me and Ansel the truth,” he says slowly. “Unlike you, she can be trusted. I know all about this girl and her schemes.”

Haven trembles behind me. Her hand reaches for mine, fingers gripping me tightly.

I’m going to kill Clover. I’m going to put a hundred bullets in her skull and throw her off a cliff. And then I’ll do the same to Ansel.

“A Timebender,” the Supreme Director muses. “What a rare power. Your sister was kind enough to confirm the truth after a little encouragement. I know all about your mother’s tricks, and you’re switch.”

Clover is going to hate her choices when she’s facing the muzzle of my gun. He must have captured Haven’s sister and confirmed the truth.

Haven releases my hand, stepping in front of me.

“What did you do to her?” Haven asks shakily. “Where is my sister?”

“Safe,” he says. “For now.”

“I’m going to ki—”

I wrap a hand around her mouth. Threatening the Supreme Director is not an offense that ends in one’s survival. I pull her behind me, shielding her with my body.

“Father,” I say, a word I haven’t used since my boyhood in the hopes that it softens him. “She is confused and lost. I’ll bring her in line. I’ll train her and ensure her loyalty. Her and her sister.”

“I’m afraid that is not possible,” he says with a shake of his head. “Haven is too far gone. Her mother’s sentiments have rubbed off on her.”

“I will ensure her allegiance,” I press. “You have to trust me.”

“You threatened Clover to hide what she is,” he says, lips curling in disgust. “You protected the traitor instead of turning her in. You know that Class Ones are not permitted to live. You sheltered an Untamed. You defy the Code. You defy me.”

His face shifts, turning cruel and feline.

The door opens, and a stream of capital enforcers enter wearing their military regalia, assembling behind my father and joining their comrades.

I look back at Haven.

“Stop—”

Before I can finish my words, her mouth parts in surprise. There is a tranquillizer stuck deep in her neck. The ends protrude from her skin, and I catch her waist, just as she collapses in my arms.

My grip tightens around her, dragging her to my chest.

One of them hit her before I could tell her to stop time. I could have gotten her out of here, but now I am stuck.

“Give over the girl, Endymion,” my father says harshly. “Now.”

I grit my teeth and make no move to step forward.

“She belongs to me,” I say. “You should have known that the day I signed those engagement papers. She was promised to me. You can’t just take her away.”

“I can’t see her path.”

He steps forward. Not many people know what the Supreme Director’s powers are.

It isn’t publicized, but the truth is that he is a Psychic—he sees the future.

Every outcome is orchestrated to ensure he wins and remains in power.

If the people knew, they would find it hard to trust a man who controls the game, who plays them like pawns on a board.

“And the second you tied your life to hers, I couldn’t see yours either,” the Supreme Director says. “I worked hard to build you into a leader worthy of continuing my legacy. But the moment you met her, your future changed. She altered it.”

He was blind to this. He never saw her coming. Haven was an anomaly.

He must hate that he can’t control her, and in extension, me.

“I reckon it is because she manipulates time that it hides her,” he muses. “Time and fate are so deeply intertwined that it is impossible to separate them. Our gifts are mirror-reflections of the other.”

Yet his was not considered ‘illegal’. Everything is rigged in his favor.

We were never meant to win because he always controlled the game.

“Give me the girl,” he demands.

“What are you going to do with her?”

He is silent. His lack of words speaks volumes.

“No.” I shake my head. “I’ll fix her. I’ll make her loyal, but I won’t give her to you.”

“I was afraid you would say that,” he says, disappointed. “We made adjustments to your Bind.”

“What?” I whisper. Unease slides down my stomach.

“It means in the next few minutes you will hold no attachment to the girl you protect,” he says with a satisfied look. “You will serve with no obstruction.”

I touch my neck, feeling where the implant is. Is this what the rebels feared when they rejected the Bind? Did they know that my father intended to turn it into a tool for control?

I feel foolish for trusting him when he said it was to ensure that powers were not used for destruction. Haven must have known this all along. Her mother was a researcher; she must have worked on it.

Is that why she protected Haven and rigged her test results? So, she could never be controlled by my father, by the regime.

“I’ll tear it out,” I warn. “I’ll die before I let you turn me against her. Haven Warrick is mine.”

I reach for the blade at my hip and press it to my throat, digging till I feel blood trickle down my flesh. It is impossible to remove the Bind. The second, one attempts it, it explodes in their flesh. It is a ticking bomb.

But I would rather die than hurt Haven. This is how I protect her. This is how I keep her safe.

I ensure that I never become the weapon my father wields against her.

The tip digs deeper, cutting through flesh, and my father’s brow raises in alarm.

“You are being unreasonable,” he says, between curled lips. “All this pain and misery will be gone. It is not a change to be feared, but rather embraced.”

“I was loyal,” I roar. “I gave you everything. I ask for one thing, and you deny me!”

His face tightens. “She will lead you down the wrong path. She will turn you against everything you believe in. Already she has softened you; she has ruined you.”

“It is not Haven who is pushing me away from service. It is you,” I say. “You are forcing me to act against your orders. You are forcing me to kill myself to protect her.”

“You would die for a worthless traitor?” he spits.

“I would lay my life down for hers in a heartbeat,” I reply. “An act you would never understand, because you are incapable of love.”

The storm inside me collapses into silence. My thoughts drain away, and along with them my emotions, until I am a blank canvas.

The resistance leaves my body, and the blade clatters to the ground, rolling thrice before it lands flat.

“Excellent,” the Director says with a hum in his voice. “Give us the girl.”

I step forward.

I lay Haven on the ground like an offering.

Her hair pools around her like a shallow lake, dark and glistening.

And without a word, I step away, leaving her to face her fate.