13. Selene
CHAPTER 13
SELENE
I stir awake, disoriented at first, but then everything comes rushing back. My hair is still damp from the shower we all took earlier. The memories alone have me needing to press my thighs together. I’m usually the one in control but something about Julian and Cole working together like that just makes me want to give in completely.
To my right, I see Julian lying above the covers, a towel draped across his midsection. He looks so different when he’s asleep—less put together, his dirty blonde hair messy, and his body less tense. He looks at peace.
There’s something innocent about people when they’re passed out, as if they’ve shed the weight of the world, temporarily free from their thoughts.
How did we fall asleep? That part is hazy. They brought me into the bed, massaged my back and neck, provided amazing aftercare, and then…nothing.
Turning my head to the left, I see Cole. His brown hair is also disheveled in the most beautiful way, as he lies on his stomach, half his body under the covers. Even in this relaxed position, his back muscles are coiled tightly. That’s when I notice a tattoo in the middle of his back, a complex code or design, too intricate to decipher in the dim light.
I shouldn’t feel this way—I know that. I don’t really know these men, but deep inside my chest, there’s a hollowness, like something is missing.
The absence of our third unsettles me.
Damon didn’t seem comfortable, not from the start. But we kept going, losing ourselves to the game, letting it consume us. Now, lying here, I can’t shake the thought—did he leave because of me? Because of what happened between all of us tonight?
I could wake Julian and Cole, draw them back into the chaos with a kiss or a touch. Another round of fun feels like the logical choice, considering the promises we made for this night.
But I don’t.
Instead, I slip off the bed quietly, gather my clothes, and slide on my shoes, careful not to disturb them. The door closes behind me with a soft click, and I’m alone in the hallway. It’s unnervingly quiet, the stillness pressing in as I make my way toward the stairwell exit.
Something tells me he’s not here, not anywhere inside this building. My pulse quickens as I descend, driven by a strange mix of urgency and concern I don’t fully understand. Why do I care so much? Why can’t I just let him go? Maybe he doesn’t want me.
No, it’s not that. There is something else at play here.
Someone else he’s thinking about.
This man, this stranger, whose name I barely know and whose words to me have been fleeting at best, has me running off after him at night.
God, I’ve got abandonment issues. Maybe we can bond over it.
Outside, the winter air is cold against my skin, and the darkness is blinding as I look for Damon. He’s dressed in all black, with a black mask, so finding him might be next to impossible.
My stomach tingles when I spot the rusted entrance to the old amusement park behind the hotel. The gates creak in the wind, and the faint outline of decaying rides is barely visible in the distance. There is a string of dim Christmas lights hanging from the fence surrounding the park. Ironic since the thing hasn’t been in use for decades.
Halfway to the entrance, I see a tall shadow walk across the park. My footsteps crunch loudly against the snow as I speed up, not wanting to lose him in this dilapidated, creepy place.
I find Damon sitting on a bench across from the carousel, its colors faded along with whatever memories are attached here. He’s hunched over, elbows resting on his knees, as he stares out into the emptiness.
He doesn’t look over when I sit beside him. His mask resting beside him, and he appears lost in thought.
Neither one of us says a word for a long time.
“Why did you come looking for me?” Damon finally speaks, his voice barely a whisper.
“I honestly don’t know.”
“I’m not like them. I mean, I am…in a way. But not like?—”
“I know,” I say softly.
He lifts his head slightly, his gaze still distant as he finally turns to face me. The flicker of vulnerability in his eyes catches me off guard.
“I thought if I could just let it go, or try, that it would be easier.”
I smile. “It’s never easy to let go of a love like that.”
“It’s not love,” he snaps back.
I arch a brow at him. “Do you want to tell me about her?”
He shakes his head, exhaling deeply. “No. I just needed to clear my head. This place…it just reminds me of so much.”
The metaphor between his words and the broken, decayed playground isn’t lost on me.
“Would that be such a bad thing? To remember the things you want most?”
When Damon’s eyes meet mine I see a world of conflict warring within him. “Why torture yourself that way?”
Breathing in the fresh, cold air, I consider his question before answering. “You’re seeing it as a bad thing, but you could choose to be grateful for those memories because it means you got to experience them. You got to live it, even if it was for a short period of time.”
“I don’t want to miss her,” he bites out, seeming a bit surprised at his own confession.
“Then don’t, or do. But you can’t change any of it until you decide you want to. So live in the moment or go sulk at home, or here.”
“Wow,” he puffs out, breaking his gaze.
“I can leave you be.” I stand, turning away from him and suddenly wishing I was still in bed, sandwiched between Cole and Julian, all warm and comfortable. Instead, I came out here looking to do what exactly? Save someone that doesn’t even know what he wants.
But Damon grips my arm, stopping me. “Don’t leave, not yet.”
Dual colored puppy eyes should be god damn illegal. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?
I stare and then sit my ass down like a mute sub.
What’s gotten into me tonight? Everything is out of the ordinary.
“Are you enjoying your night?” he says, trying to crack open a smile.
I burst out laughing. “Really?”
He rolls his eyes. “Man, I’m trying. Meet me halfway.”
“Alright. Yes, I’m having fun.”
“Do you come here a lot?”
“Not a lot.” I narrow my gaze, wondering where he’s going with this.
“Have you experienced all your fantasies?”
A distraction. I can work with this.
“Not all, but most.”
He pauses, watching me carefully as if he’s not sure he should continue. As if he could maybe offend me. Should I remind him that he was sucking on my nipples earlier?
Better not.
“What needs to be checked off?” Damon asks, turning to face me.
He’s so beautiful in the moonlight. It’s my first time getting a real good look at him.
I pretend like I need to think about it for a bit but I knew the answer to that question before he finished asking it. “A real chase, with rope and pain. Underwater breath play. And I have this weird kink involving a confessional booth, but I haven’t found the right player for that one yet.”
“Interesting. I could help with one of those, if you want.”
Oh. That was unexpected.
“Which one?”
He smirks, looking at the carousel again. “The chase. It’s sort of my specialty.”
“Fascinating.” I sit back, crossing my arms, suddenly overwhelmed with a few different sensations.
“Should we check it off your list?”
I can’t tell if he’s teasing or completely serious. But when I turn to him, his expression leaves no doubt. His eyes burn with a raw, primal intensity that sends a shiver across my skin, igniting a fresh wave of desire that I can’t ignore.