Chapter 30
Damn it.What the fuck is taking her so long in the shower? I take a deep breath, trying to rein in my temper. It’s not Rose that I’m angry at, it’s the fucking situation. Dr. Klein said the new medication should help even out her mood, but so far, the only thing it’s done is suck the life out of my girl.
Her panic attacks and mood swings are nonexistent, which is good, or it would be if taking those away didn’t also steal away everything else. Oh sure, she laughs when she’s supposed to. She talks and acts like everything is fine, but it’s so far from fucking fine. She can be sitting right beside me but be a million miles away. No matter how many times I try to reach into that void and bring her back, I fail.
Once again, I’m fucking failing her.
Since day one, Rose suffered from horrible nightmares. She would wake three or four times a night, drenched in sweat. The first night she slept straight through with no nightmares, I was hopeful. The medicine was working. Despite the fact that for the first time in God knows how long Rose is getting plenty of sleep at night, I’ve found her curled up somewhere sleeping during the day three separate times.
I thought I was out of my depth before… I laugh at how stupid and na?ve I was. Before, I at least knew how to react to her emotions. This, I am completely lost. My Rose needs me, and I’m right here, desperate to help her only I don’t know how. I’ve called several other psychiatrists looking for second, third, fourth, even fifth opinions. They all say the same thing. Give the medicine time to work.
I’ve given it time, and it’s not fucking working.
I knock on the bathroom door and shout that we need to leave in thirty minutes. If she responds, I don’t hear her. She’s been so quiet and soft-spoken lately I probably wouldn’t hear her if she does respond.
My phone rings, distracting me. “Yes,” I bark.
“Dude, we need to work on your phone etiquette.”
“Kist, I’m not in the mood for your shit today. What do you need?” I know I shouldn’t snap at him, it’s not his fault that I’m so on edge. I can’t let Rose see my anger at our situation, but Kisten can take it.
Thankfully, he gets right to the point.
“Gunner found what we were looking for. He found Red House… or what used to be Red House. It’s a burnt-out husk now. Public records show that there was faulty wiring that started an electrical fire.”
“What else did he find?”
“He talked to some neighbors… seems that two nights before the fire, there was one of those big box moving trucks parked at the house. The neighbor said it was odd because they didn’t seem to pack any of their belongings into the truck. It was confirmed in the incident report done by the fire marshal that the house appeared to be occupied, but no one was injured in the fire.”
I mull over his words for a moment. “If they didn’t move any of their stuff, what did they move?”
“That’s the million-dollar question, boss. If they left everything behind when they left, why the moving truck?”
“The girls,” I reply flatly. “They used the truck to move the girls.”
Everything about this situation fucking stinks. I hate that it’s been weeks, and Nelson Grant still fucking evades us. I am going to take joy in making him bleed when he’s found.
“Exactly what Gunner is thinking. He’s going to work some more of that Kung Fu of his and should be in touch in a few hours with another update. You heading to the club?”
“Yeah. Just waiting for Rose to get out of the shower, then we’ll be there.”
“Alright, later.” Kisten doesn’t wait for a response before disconnecting the call, and he complains about my fucking phone etiquette.
Rose still hasn’t come out of the bathroom. A quick check of the time says nearly fifteen minutes have passed since I knocked. The shower is still running, she has to have used every drop of hot water by now. What the hell is she doing in there?
I pound on the door and call out to her. “Rose, if you don’t answer me, I’m going to break this fucking door down.”
Seconds tick by with no response, and panic grips my heart. I take a step back and kick the door. It crashes open, splintering the frame and slamming into the wall with a bang. I expected the room to be full of steam, but there isn’t even a hint of humidity in the air.
I hurry to the shower and jerk the door open. Rose is just standing there, staring down at the floor of the shower. She’s covered head to toe in goosebumps and shivering so hard her teeth are chattering.
“Oh, God, Rosie.” I turn off the water and quickly wrap her in a towel. I dry her off, then quickly carry her to the bedroom. I put her on the bed and wrap her in blankets. I run down the hall screaming for Hannah.
A few seconds later, she appears on the other side of the living room, breathless. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“It’s Rose… I don’t know what’s wrong. She’s unresponsive. Call Dr. Martinez and tell her to get her ass down here now.”
I haul ass back to my bedroom, stripping off my clothes as I go. I stop short of the bed when I see Rose lying prone on the bed. She’s not moved an inch. I’m not even sure if she blinked because she’s still staring off into space. I’ve seen something similar to this with a submissive who went into a severe case of sub-drop, but this is different.
I curse my stupidity. I knew something was wrong, and I did nothing to help her. I fed her the fucking pills the doctor prescribed and believed them when they told me to just give it time. This is my fucking fault. I should have trusted my gut and demanded the doctor change her medication or something.
I run my hands through my hair and turn away from Rose on a curse. I pace a couple steps away. I have to get myself together. I can’t breakdown right now. Rose needs me. I push down my feelings and crawl under the blankets with Rose. I pull her still shivering body against mine. Her skin is so cold it feels like it practically scalds mine when I cover her in my warmth.
How the fuck did this happen?
Hannah comes rushing in the room, stopping short when she sees Rose shivering in my arms. Her big green eyes are wide and tearful. She pulls herself together a hell of a lot faster than I did.
“The doc is on her way. She’s across town, so it’ll be a while.” Hannah kneels on the floor behind me and reaches over my body so she can run her fingertips over Rose’s cheek. “Matthew, what’s wrong with her?”
“I don’t know. I found her like this in the shower. The water was ice cold. She’s freezing.”
Hannah doesn’t hesitate to strip off her clothes and crawls into bed on the other side of Rose and snuggles close. She runs her delicate fingers up and down Rose’s arm and whispers to her. “Rose, honey, if you can hear me, you’ve gotta come back now. Fight whatever this is and come back to us.”
I lose track of time as Hannah and I lay with Rose sandwiched between our bodies. My only focus is on Rose’s slow, steady breathing. Hannah is humming quietly, stopping periodically to whisper words of encouragement to Rose. Nothing seems to be getting through to her. She’s like a broken doll in our arms. Here and yet not. Thankfully, she’s no longer trembling with cold.
Relief washes over me when I hear the familiar click-clack of Doc’s heels as she walks at her typical fast-clip down the hallway. “I got here as quick as I could.” She sets her medical bag down on the foot of the bed and starts pulling things out. She makes a shooing motion, and Hannah and I both get up, giving her room to work. “What happened?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. She was fine—well, as fine as she has been any other day this week—before she got in the shower.” I run a hand down my face, half wanting to claw my eyes out so I can purge the sight of her lifeless stare. “I went to check on her, but she didn’t respond. She’s been so reserved I just thought I couldn’t hear her over the water.
“I got a phone call, so I figured I’d give her a few more minutes to finish up. After the call, I knocked again. When she still didn’t respond, I busted the door in and found her staring off like this. The water was freezing. She was so damn cold, her lips were blue. She’s completely unresponsive.”
As I’m explaining, Doc starts her examination. She checks Rose’s vitals and makes a little clicking sound with her tongue. I want to shake her and demand that she tell me right now what is wrong with my girl. Hannah grips my hand tightly in hers, grounding me.
“Her temperature is still a bit on the low side, but other than that, she appears fine.” She’s quite for a few more moments as she checks Rose’s extremities. “It doesn’t look like she’s suffering any ill effects from the cold. You were smart to lay with her. Did Dr. Klein change her medication?”
“Yes.”
Before I can ask, Hannah rushes to the bathroom and back with the prescription bottles. Doc looks them over with a furrowed brow. “These are extremely high doses for someone as petite as Rose. If I had to hazard a guess, I would say this is just a bad reaction to the medication. Give me a moment to call Dr. Klein.”
She leaves the room, her phone already to her ear. I could kick myself for not pushing the doctor harder about how the medications were affecting her. I never should have believed them when they said it would just take time.
Because of their word, I sat by and watched my girl slowly disappear into herself and now look. She’s fucking catatonic. Fuck! My sweet Rose has been through so damn much already, and the very thing that was supposed to help caused even more harm.
I move to sit on the edge of the bed and hold her hand. I’m brought back to those first days in the recovery suite, where I sat at her bedside for days waiting for her to heal. After a few minutes, Rose’s body visibly relaxes. With a soft sigh, she rubs her cheek against the pillow and closes her eyes. I know it’s not much, but it gives me hope.
“Alright, here’s what we are going to do,” Doc says as she reenters the room, “I’m calling in a different prescription. Nothing as strong as what that moron put her on. I’m also going to call in an anxiety medication that can be used on an as-needed basis instead of her having to take it every day. I’ll be back in the morning to check on her. For now, just let her rest. Try to keep her hydrated, if she won’t drink, call me and I’ll come put an IV in. I’d rather keep that as a last resort considering how she reacted to her last IV.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Master Bennett. You’ve done so much for the community and for me. Taking care of your Rose is the least I can do.” She pats my shoulder then leaves.
I curl my body back around Rose and am slightly surprised when Hannah climbs back in behind Rose. Neither of us speaks. It’s not until Slade comes home that all of the worry seems to catch up with Hannah. The second she sees him, her eyes well up with tears and a broken sob is torn from her throat. Rose twitches in her sleep at the sound but doesn’t wake.
Slade picks Hannah up from the bed and speaks quietly to her as he carries her out of the room.
I hug Rose close, more determined than ever to find a way to help her through this.