CHAPTER 7
I barely contained a squeal as within minutes of arriving at the stalls, Jesse led out a tall, rangy black horse, distinctive white socks on his back legs.
‘Jasper!’
Taken aback, Jesse stood aside as I walked towards the horse that’d become as precious to me as family, as the ranch itself, on my visits.
I extended my hand towards his nose, letting him make up the distance.
He lowered his head and stepped towards me, passing his velvety soft muzzle over my skin as he fixed his wide liquid chocolate eyes on my face.
‘Well hell,’ Jesse said, his voice soft as Jasper came to stand right by my side and I ran one hand across his neck, the other scratching right behind his cheek.
The hours I’d spent grooming this sleek coat, the scratches I’d given him as he’d fallen half asleep, head resting on my shoulder.
‘This grumpy old mule barely keeps it civil most days; almost took a chunk outta Domino just last night.’
‘He’s not grumpy,’ I said, voice almost a whisper as I smiled at the big animal’s groans. ‘He just knows what and who he likes, that’s all. I had no idea he was still here.’
Jesse chuckled. ‘Well, he sure likes you. Why don’t you take him out and get him started, then? I need to get the other three.’
‘Three guests then?’ I asked, noticing the fine white hairs now sprinkled across Jasper’s face.
‘Yep,’ he replied. ‘I could get another out if you want to come along?’
I hesitated, tempted. Fear won out.
‘It’s okay, another day maybe. I need to ease in slowly, haven’t ridden for years.’
He shrugged, handing me Jasper’s lead rope and pointing towards the tack room as he headed to the back of the stalls. ‘His name’s above the pegs.’
I nodded, leading Jasper out and tying him up, my hand still grazing his neck. A strange sense of wonder passed through me as somehow, eight years concertinaed into nothing, as though it hadn’t passed at all.
Picking up a brush, I began working over Jasper’s coat, muscle memory taking over, slowly warming up to the point that I had to stop to roll up my sleeves. I’d barely noticed the three other horses now brought out, Jesse working round them. He glanced at me from under his hat.
‘Why did you stop riding?’ he asked as he brought out two saddles at once.
I hesitated, waiting to guess the motive for his question, brace myself for the judgement.
‘My family – well, my dad – thought that riding would take up too much time, interfere with school. I used to spend all my free time doing it back then, so, you know, it made sense. I guess.’
‘Hmph,’ he replied, still fixed on the job in hand. ‘So, you got the grades? Was it worth it?’
Still, the question was open. No malice. I realized how conditioned I was to it, how guarded I’d become.
‘Yeah, I got them,’ I replied, but couldn’t quite bring myself to answer the second half of his question.
He seemed to notice, thoughtful eyes watching me. I pretended to focus on Jasper, finishing the brushing and pacing into the tack room to grab his saddle, Jesse following.
‘Here, let me,’ he said, waiting politely for me to move to the side in the small space before leaning right over to take the saddle off the high peg.
His arm brushed mine, his shirt tightening around his bicep as he reached up.
‘I forgot how high up Jasper’s was and you’re only an itty-bitty thing . . .’
‘Itty-bitty?’ I said, imitating his accent, unable to help myself. I was rewarded by a megawatt smile, and a blush threatened to break out again.
‘All right, Princess pint-sized.’
He swept out of the room, chuckling to himself.
I paused. I liked him – he was friendly, easy to be around. But I had to be careful. After everything with Kyle, it was almost as though I was waiting for a delayed reaction to hit. And Cole . . . well, I had no idea about him either.
Back outside, Jesse was pulling the cinch tight, muttering something at Jasper, who looked like he might take a chunk out of his arm if he pulled any tighter.
‘When did you start working here?’ I asked, determined to keep things neutral.
‘Me? Or all of us?’
‘Well, you . . . but yeah, all of you. I don’t think I remember you from when Aunt Carrie and Uncle John ran things, but it was all cattle then.’
He nodded, face suddenly serious.
‘I got here just last year, used to be a bull rider. Ever been to a rodeo?’
My mouth fell open.
‘Seriously? You did that? Riding those crazy fucking bulls? Yeah, I went to a few. Saw someone get stomped on one year, blood everywhere.’
Jesse tipped his head to one side, pursing his lips.
‘You do it long enough and it’ll happen, that’s for sure.
I just got one injury too many – broke my back twice, my collarbone, ribs, you name it.
Figured I’d stop before my head was next.
I stick to roping now. Plus, being on the circuit is hard on your relationships; living in hotels is only fun for so long. ’
‘But you did have fun, I imagine?’ I asked, unable to help myself, instantly rewarded with a quick grin.
‘Oh sugar, it was six, seven years of a good time.’ He shook his head, clearly running through some of it in his mind. ‘I mean, outside of the hospital visits. More parties and buckle bunnies than I could possibly handle.’
‘Buckle bunnies?’ I asked, thoroughly regretting the question when his smile became positively rakish.
‘You fit in real well here, I forget you might not know some of the basics.’ He chuckled.
‘Buckle bunnies are . . . how do I say this without sounding like an asshole . . . Well, I guess they’re mostly ladies that hang around the rodeo circuit, hoping to hook up with some of the guys competing.
Especially the bull riders that usually win. ’
He gave me a suggestive sideways glance, moving over to one of the other horses and preparing it, fixing the saddle. I stroked Jasper’s face, smiling as his eyelids began to droop with relaxation.
‘And what now?’ I asked, wanting to steer back to neutral ground, despite knowing just how easy it would be to take this conversation further. ‘You all settled down now? No more bunnies?’
He laughed, half hidden as he dipped down to grab the cinch.
‘Never say never, right?’ he replied. ‘But we’ve been so busy up here in the last year, trying to get things working for Lil, there hasn’t been a whole lot of time. But rodeo season starts again real soon, so I’ll be roping, and who knows, maybe I’ll meet someone.’
He shrugged, but there was an undertone there that was quite the opposite to the flirty, light quality of his earlier words.
‘Someone a little more permanent?’ I asked, then, realizing that I sounded like I was volunteering myself, added, ‘I mean, I’m not suggesting it’s the best solution – I can definitely see the benefits of staying single.’
Jesse glanced at me more intently. I felt a real curiosity growing.
‘I’d like to, one day. It can take me a while to get to know someone, you know?’ he admitted. ‘Parties, girls, rodeo . . . it’s a surface thing, fun. The other stuff, the stuff you need for a real relationship? That’s something to work on.’
His honesty was like a gut punch, worded without ceremony. I was struck by just how lucky someone might be one day, to be with this man.
I nodded, inspired to share my own thoughts in the same way, but knowing it would take a little more time to process what I was feeling.
‘What about the others? Did you know them before this place?’ I asked, hoping he would take the cue and move on.
As if he could read my thoughts perfectly, after a brief hesitation he gave a quick nod.
‘Yeah, I knew of Bailey, but Cole and I had been buddies for years on the circuit. He was the one that told me about a job up here.’
I nodded, my mind snagging on his friend’s name.
‘What did Cole do?’ I asked lightly, moving to put Jasper’s bridle on, waking him up a little, realizing how long Jesse and I had been chatting.
‘Bronc riding and roping – best in the whole damn state,’ Jesse replied, finishing up the two other horses.
‘Why’d he stop?’ I asked, unable to help myself.
Silence. Jesse walked around Jasper, looking round the side of the barn down towards the guest accommodation.
‘That’s not my story to tell,’ he replied finally, satisfied that no one was arriving imminently. ‘Now Bailey, well she’s a barrel racer. Still does it. She and her horse, Dunkin, move at the kinda speed that cricks my neck just to watch.’
‘Dunkin?’ I asked, trying not to smile again. ‘As in . . .’
‘Donuts, yeah. No idea why. Listen, I’ve got an idea – why don’t you take Jasper around the corral for a minute or two? Get yourself used to it all again. We’re driving some of the cows down this weekend – we could use extra hands if you’d be willing?’
I hesitated again, recognizing the loss of control I was stepping into, how uncomfortable it felt.
‘Sure,’ I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt. I needed to help Lil, and getting used to riding again would be a start.
Jasper followed me willingly into the soft dirt ring, and before Jesse could come over to offer me a hand into the saddle, I’d hooked my new boot into the stirrup and, grateful for all the hours I’d put in on the StairMaster at the gym, pushed myself up and into the saddle.
‘Seems like you remember just fine,’ Jesse called from the fence, leaning against it with one leg up on the lower bar and his arms crossed.
From way up on Jasper’s back, the ground seemed a long way off, but he stood and waited patiently.
‘I’ve missed you, old boy,’ I whispered, gathering the reins and smoothing his neck again. ‘Will you show me the ropes again?’
I nudged him gently into a walk and trot, then, as I found my balance easily enough, one further nudge took us into a canter. His ears perked up as he listened to both my voice and my body. From nowhere, tears threatened and I blinked hard, touching my hand to my eyes to stop any falling.
‘How it’s feeling? He’s behaving himself at least.’